Surreptitious (London)

by Breeze, Danielle

  “I don’t have parents anymore.”

  “Why, what happened?” He didn’t seem nosey, just genuinely curious and I didn’t see the harm in telling him the story, so I laid it all out for him. The entire shitty tale. He had gone slightly pale by the time I finished and there were shadows in his eyes but since it wasn’t a pretty story, I didn’t pay much attention before I asked...

  “What about yours? What are your parents like?” I forgot what happened when I mentioned his parents before but it all came rushing back when his eyes glazed over and turned almost glacial. He tensed his jaw and ground his teeth back and forth before blowing out a long breath and replying.

  “Ah, my um parents are gone too. Died in a house fire about six years ago. We weren’t close, and when I say that, I mean I despised them with every fibre of my being. It’s not that same as your story. Dave and Tracey were, well...they were not good people. Them dying, it gave my brothers a chance to live the life I was building, a good life, a clean life, so I was awarded custody. I took it, didn’t go to their funerals, never looked back. I’m glad they’re dead.”

  My mouth was hanging open and I was struggling to understand what his parents must have done to make him hate them so much but he’d already turned back to the TV and turned up the volume so I assumed question time was over.

  I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know why I let it happen but some time later I opened my eyes to see that the TV was still on, but the volume was turned down and I had my head resting on Jax’s chest. My body was lying mostly on top of his with my leg entangled between his and I had my arm thrown across his chest. I could feel his slow, even breathing beneath me, so instead of doing the sensible thing, the thing I should have done and jumping up, kicking him in the balls and screaming at him to get out of my home. I reached for the remote control, pressed the standby button, rested my head back down on his chest and fell back to sleep. Smart move Taylor. Really smart move.

  Chapter twelve

  Taylor

  The following morning I awoke and looked around feeling seriously confused. I knew I’d fallen asleep on the sofa, with Jax, but I woke lying on my side in my bed. I sat up and tried to remember moving to the bedroom but my mind was blank, this was mainly because for the second time now, I had slept in the same place as Jax, and he had changed my clothes!! I reached for my phone before realising that I didn’t take myself to bed so it was still out in the lounge.

  When I got to my phone I noticed there was a folded piece of paper placed underneath, so I opened it and my heart skipped a beat.

  Baby girl,

  Had to go sort some things at the club.

  Gutted that I couldn’t be with you when you woke.

  Falling asleep with you and waking with your body pressed

  against mine was one of the best things that

  I’ve ever done.

  I’ll call you later, wanna take you out.

  Best night ever, baby girl.

  Jax.

  Xxx

  Oh shit. He thinks he’s in! He thinks I’m his girl. How the hell...how the fuck had I let that happen?! I needed to shut him down, and fast. So I opened the contacts in my phone and dialled a number I figured I’d never phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Josh, it’s um...Taylor. I was just wondering, if your offer to um...take me out was still on the table?” He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and my heart was in my throat thinking maybe this plan wouldn’t work when he responded.

  “Wow, um yeah...sure...of course. Told you I’d love to take you out. I’m free tomorrow if you want to do something?” YES!!

  “That’d be great! Do you want me to meet you somewhere or...?” I left the options open to him and he said

  “Don’t be ridiculous babe. I’ll pick you up at seven okay? Give me your address and I’ll meet you there.”

  I rattled off my address to him, we said our goodbyes and he hung up. I stared at my phone for a few seconds trying to calm the twinges of guilt I was feeling.

  Did I want to go out with Josh? Nope.

  Was it fair of me to use him that way? Nope

  ...Did I have a choice?! NOPE.

  Josh was in a few of my classes at university, he was nice enough but he was pale, skinny and he was seriously geeky but carried himself with a forced swagger because his daddy was loaded and he knew that he had a good job waiting for him when he finished his degree.

  He’d asked me out more than once but seeing as I refused to date...and I really wouldn’t be breaking that rule for him...I always said no. I knew it was wrong to lead him on but I couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of Jax. Jax was dangerous, in more ways than one; he was a danger to my heart, my carefully constructed shield and basically my whole ‘Ice’ facade. But the more time I spent with him, the more I was beginning to sense that he was just...dangerous. He was cheeky, funny and he just seemed to draw the attention of the whole room when he walked in, but there were shadows in his eyes, an underlying pain/fear/anger...something. I couldn’t figure out what it was, which was another reason I needed to stay away from him and I knew I had no chance of doing that until he decided to want nothing to do with me.

  Seeing as plan A was just to speak to him like a rational human being and tell him I wasn’t interested and that worked ...in no way whatsoever! It didn’t work because he knew I was lying...so I needed to step up my game. Commence plan B...my ‘date with another guy’ plan. I picked Josh because he wasn’t dangerous, definitely not to my heart and even less so in general. Cruel? Maybe. But he’ll get over it.

  I spent the morning cleaning the whole apartment whilst studiously ignoring the incessant bleeping from my phone screaming at me that I had unread messages. Okay, so it wasn’t screaming at me but that’s how it felt because I knew who they were from and I knew I couldn’t reply. I fought the urge to read them for all of three hours, however, as soon as I sat down and realised I had nothing else left to occupy my mind – I reached straight for the phone.

  I had four messages, one from Harper:

  WTF? Ur goin on a date?!

  WITH BLOODY JOSHUA HOLDEN?!

  I do not know what’s going through that head of yours girl.

  Oh boy! Good news sure travels fast! He told everyone at university that he’d got a date with me?...Told you he was seriously geeky!!

  I didn’t respond and she wouldn’t expect me to. She knows me too well and she’ll see through my plan straight away. I despised that! The other three messages were sent at different times throughout the morning and were all from Jax.

  Mornin baby girl

  Hope you found my note.

  Call you later xxx

  Hey, are you ok? Xx

  Tay? Haven’t heard from you yet...

  Everything ok? I’ll call you soon. Xx

  Well...shit. At least after my date, he’d hopefully get the message. I ignored all of the texts and decided to go for a run, when there was an incessant banging on my front door. I opened it to find that Jax, with his fist still raised as though he was going to knock again, was standing on the other side. I opened my mouth to ask him why he was there when he scooped me up, closed my door and strode towards the elevator.

  Once inside, I recovered from the shock of being manhandle out of my apartment and screeched at him to put me down. I realised immediately that my efforts were futile. Dickhead. So I lay back, and hung on for the ride.

  We were driving along the streets of London and I was still silently fuming when he declared, “We’re gonna try something you’ve never done before.”

  I jumped at the interruption to the silence and replied, “Jax, you can’t keep bloody kidnapping me! I could have been busy!”

  “You could have...but you weren’t! One last thing I promise. Then I’ll never hijack your day again unless you ask me nicely...well...maybe just once more after this!” He promised and then winked, making me believe him even less.

  “Urgh, fine! So what’re
we doing this time then?”

  “Surprise babe! You’ll find out soon enough!”

  I let him have this play even though I hated surprises. I hated them because they were obviously, unpredictable and you had to put your trust, even if it was just a little bit, in someone else. I paid attention to my surroundings as we drove so I could work out where we were going but I was still shocked when he clicked the indicator and swerved into Hyde park.

  “You’re taking me to Hyde park?!” I asked and he grinned at me, then nodded.

  He jumped out of the car and rounded the hood to open my door before grabbing my hand and pulling my up with him. As we headed across the wet grass, I caught sight of a white marquee and what just looked like a huge cordoned off area ahead and looked at Jax for him to explain but he didn’t say a word, just kept walking.

  Further across the field, I realised exactly what we were there for, planted my heels in the grass and refused to go any further. Jax sighed and turned to me, reaching up with his free hand and ran his thumb across my cheek.

  “Baby girl, it’s fun, it’s unstable, it’s exhilarating and it’s unpredictable. It’s everything you need and everything you avoid. We’re doing this.”

  His face soft but his voice was firm and held a hint of determination and right then and there I swore I could’ve killed Harper Marie. I knew she’d be behind his idea to take me there because only she and Jase knew about my ridiculous fear.

  “I...um...Jax I don’t think I can do this!” I explained and he immediately tensed his jaw, twisted his neck to look at the view and turned back to me and whispered in my ear, requesting the impossible.

  “Trust me.” Ahh fuck!!

  I held his eyes for a few beats and then tentatively nodded my head once. I didn’t trust him, but I didn’t trust the determination in his eyes either, so I chose the safer option. He took my nod as gospel and almost ran the rest of the distance to the marquee.

  I hesitated at the front of the queue but Jax pushed me forward gently, paid for out tickets and our skates and dragged me back outside. I changed my shoes for my skates and clung to Jackson’s arm for support. I stood at the entrance to the rink, let Jax slide out first, then cautiously put one foot in, added the other and joined him on the ice.

  Yep, you got it...I was petrified of ice-skating. I’d never been in my life, my dad always said it wasn’t safe, so my mum never took me and I wasn’t allowed to go with my friends, hence, possibly a slightly irrational fear of the entire thing. As if he could sense me over thinking things, Jax held both my hands, skated backwards and pulled me with him towards a space on the edge of the rink. He let go of my hands when I could hold on to the side and place his hands on either side of my face before promising quietly, “I’ll protect you, I promise you’ll be ok...I won’t let go I swear.”

  He pushed off the side but caught my hands again and continued skating backwards leading me. Not a big deal for most, a freaking HUGE deal for me. Not only was I facing one of my fears, yes ok I know I have a lot of them really, but still, I was doing it all the same and also, I knew if he let go of my hands then I’d likely just fall over so for the first time in five years, I put my faith, my trust...wholly in another person’s hands. Literally and figuratively. Wow.

  He was freaking beaming down at me and I couldn’t help but throw him a small smile back. I was sure his fingers must be hurting from the iron-cast grip I had on them so I eased up slightly, but not much and let him glide us across the ice. We rounded the entire rink twice before he led us to the edge again and exclaimed, “I told you that you could do it! I’m so proud of you baby girl! What do you think?” I thought about his question and with sudden, unwelcome, clarity...fuck... I realised I really was enjoying myself. It was freeing, and I really wanted to carry on.

  “I think, yeah I think...it’s really really great!!” I hesitated, then asked, “Do you think...ahh...would I be able to...try it by myself?” If he was shocked by my question, he didn’t show it, he just swung a hand out to the side and indicated for me to go ahead but reminded me, “I’ll always be right next to you baby girl.”

  I slowly edged my skate forward and let go of the wall. I wobbled a bit almost immediately and reached out to grab hold of Jax, he steadied me, then let me go again so I could keep trying. I’d almost made it to the end of the rink when a guy who was skating backwards and attempting ‘tricks’ ploughed into me. I was winded, shoved aside and I tried to reach for Jax at the last minute but couldn’t get to him in time. I lost my feet from beneath me, fell backwards and smacked my head on the ice. Holy mother of fuck that hurt. My vision blurred for a few seconds and when it cleared, I could see my Mr Gorgeous knelt beside me looking stricken.

  “Baby girl...shit...are you okay? Can you stand?” I nodded and then winced. Note to self: Do not move head after smashing it on ice!

  He pulled me up slowly, squeezed me into his chest and spoke at the top of my head.

  “Shit I’m so sorry baby girl, told you, fuckin’ promised you that you’d be okay and then I let that happen to you?...fuck.”

  I didn’t understand why he was blaming himself but before I realised we were even moving, he sat me down gently on a bench and knelt down between my legs. He tenderly ran his fingers through my hair but I sucked in a breath and flinched when he came into contact with the bump on the back of my head. He scowled and then pushed to his feet, told me to stay where I was, not that I was in any fit state to move right then, he tore off his skates and marched, in his socks, to the edge of the rink where the guy who’d crashed into was staring at me looking pale and guilty.

  I thought maybe Jax was going to tell him that I was okay, but he stalked straight up to him, clenched his fist, drew back his elbow an blasted him straight across the face. I gasped and shot up, swayed, but kept going regardless, I screamed at him to stop hitting the guy and he paused in his attack, breathing heavily he grabbed the guy by his collar and pulled him up from the floor. He set him on his feet and spat, “Watch where you’re fucking going in future. You could of god damn killed my fucking girl...and all because you were too busy being a fucking prissy girl, twirling around on the ice like it made you look good. We’ll it fucking didn’t, and now your face matches your performance. Fucked. Learn your fucking lesson. Dumb fuck.” That’s a lot of fucks right there. And with that, he stalked over to the desk to swap our skates back.

  I was still stood gawking at the poor guy who caused an accident. Yeah okay, he was dicking around, but I didn’t think he deserved that. The crowd that had gathered around the scene were glancing back and forth between me and the guy who was now holding his nose and shuffling away, so I tentatively walked towards Jax, hoping he could tell me what the fuck was going on in his fucking brain!!!

  When I reached his side, he held me around the waist, put his forehead to my shoulder and immediately muttered, “I’m sorry.”

  Assuming he was sorry that he’d just gone postal on some random guy, I replied, “Jax, what he did was an accident, what you did was not. So you should be sorry.” He jerked his head off my shoulder and explained, “I wasn’t saying sorry for that. Motherfucker deserved it for what he did to you. I was saying sorry you got hurt!”

  “JAX!!” I scolded.

  “It was an accident!! I’ve got a hell of an egg on the back of my head, could possibly develop a concussion and I’ll definitely have a killer headache later, but I’m okay! I’m really okay! Stop blaming yourself! I’m glad we came, I’m glad we did this and I’d still do it again!!” He seemed to believe me because he relaxed against me before I continued, “Though maybe next time, we can do it with a little less grievous bodily harm ok?”

  He just nodded and his frame relaxed even further...Definitely dangerous.

  Bring on tomorrow night.

  Chapter thirteen

  Taylor

  I started getting ready for my ‘date’ later than I should have, however seeing as I had no idea what we were doing or where we were going, I ju
st threw on some teal skinny jeans, a black camisole and grey suede boots that I loved because they were comfy-classy. There are probably about ten pairs of shoes that exist in the entire country that were comfy-classy. I say this because it’s a known fact for women that if you want to look classy, sexy, hot...shoes are never comfortable. They’re high, they give you blisters, they rub your feet and they ache like hell, but that’s the price we pay for classy, sexy, hot. However, with a comfort shoe, you may as well be wearing slippers, soft on the inside, flat, easy to wear...but not classy, sexy, hot...they’re just...shoes.

  I checked myself over in the mirror at 6:55 and was seriously impressed. I looked good, but not overly good like I felt I needed to make an impression. Exactly what I was looking for. I heard my doorbell ring so I buzzed down letting him know I’d meet him downstairs, locked the apartment and headed his way.

  Get your game-face on Taylor.

  Cinema. He took me to the freaking cinema?! I wasn’t entirely sure that I hadn’t gone back in time and I was suddenly fifteen again, being dropped off at my first date by my mum. I mean really, where’s the imagination? You can’t even speak to each other in the cinema...Hmm actually maybe this is better?!