Rose, Tara - Behind Blue Eyes [The Doms of Sybaris Cove 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tara Rose

  She smiled at him as he turned onto the road that climbed the hill once again. She’d never really seen this side of him. He was happy and charming this morning, and she hoped that had something to do with last night. She’d never look at either of them the same way at work again, no matter what happened the rest of this weekend, and that realization struck her as he eased the Jeep around the curves up the hillside.

  Everything had changed, just like that, overnight. The air this morning smelled fresh and clean from the storm last night, the same as everything in her life had been washed clear of old debris overnight. Alex was gone. Her secret was out, and they hadn’t rejected her or gone to Asa and Tim to have her fired for keeping it from them. She had nothing to fear from Sallyanne ever again.

  And, if she wanted it, she had two Doms who would teach her to be a sub, and give her every fantasy she’d ever had about BDSM play and the lifestyle. How the hell had this happened? All because she’d asked Jeff out for a drink, and then been in the right place at the right time after work. It was too incredible to be a coincidence, and yet it hadn’t been planned or foreseen. Why couldn’t she accept it and move on?

  Once they were inside Jeff’s house again, she joined them both for coffee and food on the deck. He’d made eggs, toast, and bacon, and Alaina said it was just as delicious as dinner had been last night. “I could get used to this.”

  “Good. Because Taj and I talked this morning. Have you made your decision yet?”

  She paused in the act of bringing a forkful of eggs to her mouth and stared at him and Taj. “No. I went to sleep after we talked.”

  “All right. Eat, drink coffee, take a shower, and then you can let us know.”

  She studied his face. He was smiling, but there was an undercurrent to his voice and a look, deep in his eyes, that was dead serious. “You guys mean it.” She put down her fork. “You really mean it. You want to do this.”

  “Of course we mean it. We’ve lusted after you since you walked in the doors. That wasn’t just something we said to get you into bed. And actually, while we’re on the subject, we didn’t set out to seduce you last night. I hope you know that.”

  “I know that.”

  “But we certainly don’t regret what happened, and I hope you don’t either.”

  She placed her fork on the plate and reached for them, grasping a hand from each man. “Not even close. I wouldn’t be here right now if I did. I’d have asked Taj to take me home and that would be that. I want this, too. I really do.” She hadn’t realized how much until the words were out of her mouth. “But I’m scared. I won’t lie. I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?” asked Taj. “Of trusting us? Or is it something else?”

  “That, and giving away…” She stopped before the words spilled out. They wouldn’t want to hear that. Nothing had been said about losing her heart or theirs. She’d best get a grip on her emotions and fast before she made an ass of herself.

  “Giving away what?”

  “My body like this. In complete submission.” Nice save, chickenshit. “I’m a newbie at it.”

  Taj gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “We know that. We’ll be very, very careful. We will talk about everything, and we will go as slowly as you need us to.”

  “Everything is negotiable,” said Jeff. “We aren’t going to simply start ordering you around. You’re not the kind of woman who would lie down and take that, anyway.”

  She couldn’t argue with him about that. “But doesn’t that trait also make me someone who could never learn to be a sub?”

  Both men shook their heads. “No. Not at all. Submissive doesn’t mean doormat. You actually have all the control because you offer your submission to us. We won’t do anything that isn’t consensual. You have our word on that.”

  “And we like you the way you are,” said Taj. “Tough as nails in the boardroom. We admire that about you. It’s what makes you so damn good at your job, and it’s why people in our families like Sallyanne are threatened by you. Because you aren’t sitting back relying on your name or your ancestors. You work your ass off.”

  “But last night, you showed us an entirely different aspect to your personality,” said Jeff. “Something that neither of us expected was lurking underneath the surface. And now that we’ve seen it, and we’ve had you, we can’t just ignore it. We want you. All of you. But it has to be on our terms. It has to be as our sub. And that’s something only you can truly decide if you want.”

  “And once you decide you want to do this,” said Taj, “we expect one hundred percent commitment, just as we’ll give you in return.”

  She nodded. “May I have this day to decide? I want to be sure. I need to think about everything you’ve said, and spend more time with you both outside the bedroom and outside of work.”

  Both men smiled, and the relief on their faces surprised her. Had they expected her to say no?

  “Of course,” said Taj. “Absolutely.”

  “Take the day,” said Jeff. “Take the weekend if you need it. Take as long as you want. We’re not going anywhere. We just wanted you to know where we stood this morning.”

  “Thank you.” She let go of their hands, and the three returned to their meal. Every resolve she’d had last night not to blow this or let them go came back to her. It boiled down to a matter of trust. She understood that now in a way she hadn’t before. She had to let go of the past and give these two a chance, or she’d never move forward. She’d never truly put Alex and all he’d done behind her. It was so simple and clear this morning.

  And they wanted her. Both of them. In a way she’d never imagined. All her desires were right here. All she had to do was reach out and take hold of them.

  After breakfast, she took a shower as quickly as possible, then dressed in Capri pants and a summer top. Because they were going out on a boat she wore socks and sneakers, but brought along sandals in her bag in case she wanted to slip them on later. When she joined them in the kitchen once again, she reveled in the way their gaze traveled over her.

  “You look too pretty to take out,” said Jeff. “But I’m going to bite the bullet and do this anyway because I still need some recovery time.”

  She giggled. “Thank you.”

  “I do, too, but I could make the sacrifice if necessary,” said Taj, winking at her.

  “Well, that’s good to know. I’ll keep that in mind if the urge to jump you both overtakes me while we’re out on the lake.”

  “Oh, I like the way you think.” Taj held out his arm. “Are you ready to catch some fish?”

  They drove down to the docks in Jeff’s Jeep, and she whistled when she saw the boat they approached. “Wow. That’s a big sailboat.”

  “Do you think?” asked Jeff. “My great-uncle George’s boat is longer.”

  “Well, it’s the largest one I’ve been on.”

  They climbed aboard, and she helped them get the boat ready to launch.

  “Have you done a lot of sailing?” asked Taj.

  “Not really. And I haven’t been on a boat since I got here, but it’s like riding a bike. It all comes back to you.”

  Once they were out on the lake, she settled back in the chair and watched the men, admiring their arm muscles under their polo shirts. Both wore shorts as well, so she was treated to the sight of their legs as memories of last night washed over her. There wasn’t a spot on her that didn’t ache this morning, but it was a sweet burn.

  She’d caught sight of her ass in the mirror after her shower, and Jeff had been right. She had bruises on it already. But she didn’t mind. She preferred to think of them as marks that branded her as belonging to them.

  That could be a reality. All she had to do was say yes.

  Could she do it? Yes. She could. Or at least she could try to. But she never did anything half-assed either. Isn’t that how Taj had put it last night? He and Jeff never did anything half-assed? Yes. That’s what he’d said. Well, neither did she. If she agreed to this, she’d go for it with
every ounce of willpower and determination to do it right, just as she approached everything in her life, especially her job.

  But this wasn’t a work problem to solve or a new client to bring in. This was her heart she was playing around with. Because there was no doubt she’d lose it to these two. No chance of that not happening if she was going to have sex with them and play with them as she’d done last night.

  And to be a sub to them both would mean she’d be with them all the time, or most of the time. It would mean placing complete trust in them, and they in her. It meant the type of relationship she’d never had with any man. She’d be giving them not only her body, but her mind and her very soul. She understood how deeply a Dom/sub relationship went. She understood this would be a commitment that was meant to last a lifetime, not just let’s see how it goes and maybe it’ll work.

  Was she ready for something like that? Had she ever been?

  Yes. She’d been ready for that with Alex, but he hadn’t been. He’d never given her what she really wanted. She knew that now. But these two would. They would commit to this as strongly as she would. And it wasn’t like they were strangers. They’d worked closely for eight years now, although they’d kept their feelings for her a secret, as she’d kept hers for them hidden.

  But had any of them they really kept their feelings that clandestine?

  No. Not if she thought about it. All the times she’d caught them watching her, or giving her looks that went way beyond admiration for a job well done. And all the times she’d done the same to them, and then averted her gaze when she realized they’d seen her glancing at them just a bit too long, or at times when she should have been paying attention to something else.

  No. This hadn’t been all that secret. Merely unspoken until now. And then the dam had burst wide open. She sighed out loud as she watched them ready cane poles, hooks, and what she assumed was bait. Who still used cane poles to fish? How adorable was that?

  Yes, she was ready for this. She’d been ready for quite a while now. She wanted this. She always had. It was time to tell them so.

  Chapter Ten

  Before Alaina could speak, Jeff moved toward her, holding one of the old-fashioned cane poles. “Have you fished a lot?”

  “Not since I was younger.”

  “Well, come on then and get reacquainted with it.”

  She rose and walked over to where they stood. “I pictured you guys using the latest in fishing gear.”

  He shook his head. “No. It’s more fun this way. More skill involved.”

  She took a seat between them and slipped a hook through the worm, then let them show her how to use a pole, even though she already knew. Her grandfather had loved to fish, and before he passed away, he’d taken her out many times and taught her to use various poles, as well as rod and reel systems.

  She hooked the pole in one of the catches they’d mounted on the side of the boat, and breathed in the acrid scent of the water. She loved being on a boat. It had been too long since she’d done this.

  “When were you last out on the water?” asked Taj.

  “You know where I grew up, right?”

  He nodded. “Loyalton. In northern California.”

  “And you know it’s one of the more expensive cities to live in.”

  “California is expensive, period.”

  “That’s true. We actually lived on my paternal grandparents’ estate. My grandfather used to take me out on the lake all the time before he passed away when I was ten. He taught me how to fish using just about everything. We didn’t do fly fishing, though. He didn’t care for it.”

  “So you’re a pro at this,” said Jeff, grinning. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I’m hardly a pro, and I’d forgotten a few things, so thank you for showing me. I always enjoyed being out on the lake with him. It was very relaxing, and I loved the stories of his childhood that he shared with me. Now that I’m here again, it helps me remember him.”

  Taj frowned. “That’s a tough age to lose a beloved relative.”

  “It is. But my grandmother is still alive and so are my parents. I talk to them all the time, on the phone and through the miracle of the Internet.”

  Jeff gave her a long, searching look. “Don’t you miss being so far away from them?”

  “Sure, but this was the job of a lifetime. I couldn’t pass it up.”

  “We’re glad you didn’t,” said Taj. “We never would have met you.”

  “I feel the same way about you two.” She leaned forward. “In fact, I’ve been doing some thinking this morning, and I don’t need an entire weekend to decide, or even an entire day. I want to do this. I want to learn to be your sub.”

  They exchanged a glance, and she had to bite back a laugh at the look of surprise and delight on their faces.

  “Are you sure?” asked Jeff. “I mean, really, really sure?”

  “I am really, really, really sure.”

  He whooped loud enough to scare up a flock of birds in a nearby tree, and this time Alaina did laugh. Taj picked her up and twirled her around, but placed her back on the deck when Jeff yelled that they were rocking the boat too much. The three laughed until Alaina’s sides hurt. Jeff reached into a cooler and pulled out three beers, handing her and Taj each one.

  “I have no idea if you drink it, but this calls for a celebration.”

  “I usually don’t, but what the hell. Why not? It’s not every day I agree to let two Doms into my life.”

  He gave her such a tender look that her heart did that weird fluttering thing again it had done last night. It would be so easy to fall for these two. So damn easy… “Seriously, thank you. This means the world to us.”

  “It really does,” said Taj, clinking his bottle first against hers, and then against Jeff’s. “And I promise you that we’ll behave at work.”

  She took a sip. “Mmmm… this is good. Not bitter like I thought it would be. And I hope you don’t behave at work.” She took another sip. “Fuck ’em all. That place is crawling with Doms and subs. Why should we hide it?”

  “Well,” said Jeff, “we don’t have to hide it, but we do have to show some discretion.”

  “I don’t want to think about work right now.” She took a seat again and closed her eyes, letting the emotions wash over her. This was really happening! She’d never been so happy. “But I do have a ton of questions. What do I do now? I mean how do I act? Do I call you both ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’ or something? Do I kneel when you walk into a room? What do I have to ask permission for?”

  Taj laughed. “Slow down, sweetheart.” He cut his gaze toward Jeff. “She did this last night, too. Asked like a dozen questions in a row.”

  “Alaina likes to prepare for every eventuality. And in fact…” Jeff took his seat next to her. “I think that might be a good place to start.”

  Taj sat down on the opposite side. “You’re right. I agree. She’s wound too tightly. She should learn to relax a bit and just let things happen instead of planning them out to the last detail.”

  “Are you talking about my job performance?”

  “No. Your personal life.” Taj leaned closer to her. “We won’t touch your work. That’s yours to deal with, and you do a fantastic job. But are you happy like this? Having to know exactly what’s going to happen at any given minute? When was the last time you simply woke up and decided to just experience the day, no matter what came along?”

  She swallowed hard as she stared into those unusual gray eyes, and tried to remember if she’d ever done that. She couldn’t. “Never. I’ve never done that.”

  He nodded. “That’s what I thought.” He cut his gaze toward Jeff over her head. “It’s settled then. That’s the first thing we help you do. Step outside of yourself when you’re away from work and teach you to experience things as they come.”

  “How do you intend to do that?”

  “Well, first of all, stop topping from the bottom.”

  Jeff chuckled. “Boy, t
hat’s for sure.”

  “What does that mean? Topping from the bottom?”

  Taj took her beer and placed it in the built-in well behind their chairs, then took her hands. “It means calm down. Stop asking questions of every little thing. Stop trying to direct what we do, when we do it, how we do it, and why we do it. Let us make the decisions. I’m not saying you aren’t entitled to voice an opinion, or negotiate something, but you need to just stop and be. Just exist.”

  “That sounds easy in theory, but how do I do that? I’m not trying to direct this. Honestly I’m not. I’m just being who I am. I don’t know how to relax…” Her voice trailed off as she realized that, right there, was the crux of what they were talking about, regardless of how they labeled it.

  She never relaxed. Even when she was home after work, she was thinking about what else she needed to do, and more often than not she took out her work laptop and did something at home. Or, she simply returned to the complex and worked in her office.

  “I never have fun. I mean before last night. I don’t plan fun things for myself.”

  “We know that. That’s what we were hoping this day could give you. A chance to have some fun.”

  “I have an idea,” said Jeff. “Let’s set some ground rules for the remainder of the day.”

  “Okay,” she said. “But what if I can’t follow them?”

  Jeff rolled his eyes and Taj chuckled. “See? There you go again? What if this and what if that. If you can’t follow them, you get punished. Plain and simple.”

  “Punished?”

  “Yes,” said Taj, brushing a finger up her arm. She shivered at his touch. “Punished. As in put over our knees and spanked.” He glanced around. “Or paddled with an oar.”

  “Or a fishing pole,” said Jeff. “That would drive home the point.”

  “It sure would,” said Taj. “They’re bamboo.”

  She swallowed hard and bit back a moan as images of them paddling her and caning her with a bamboo pole raced through her mind. “All right. But before I agree to that, may I ask what the rules are?”

  Taj smiled. “Of course. We would never punish you for breaking a rule you didn’t know existed. But before we outline those, I want to be absolutely certain this is truly something about your personality that you’d like to change. And change isn’t even the right word. We’re not trying to mold you into some ideal of who we think you should be. We’re merely trying to help you find a way to learn to calm down once in a while and have some fun.”