Compromised Hearts

by Hannah Howell

  Although the boy looked calm he never took his gaze from Emily. Cloud gently set her down on the bedding he had laid out and Thornton squatted nearby. James quietly worked to get the boy dressed as Cloud did what little he could think of to rouse Emily.

  Reaching up through the clouds of unconsciousness, Emily suddenly recalled the Indian and came awake with a start. Her fear eased when she saw only Cloud, James, and Thornton kneeling nearby and watching her. Then she recalled how the Indian had cut her hair and, with a soft gasp, she rose up on one elbow and smoothed her hand over the back of her head, trying to determine what damage had been done.

  Realizing what was troubling her, Cloud also looked. “It’s not bad, Em.”

  “I should be ashamed of such vanity,” she grimaced, “but are you sure? It looked like he removed a great deal of hair.”

  “He did, but he slashed a top section. It should be easy to hide the missing part until it grows back. What the hell were you doing out here, anyway?”

  Startled by his sudden cross demand and noticing how James and Thornton quickly deserted her, she stared at Cloud a little warily. “He was going off with Thornton.”

  “You could’ve called for help—for us.”

  “I did not think there was enough time for that, Cloud. I was afraid that, if he got away with Thornton, we would never get the boy back.”

  Sighing, Cloud nodded. “It wouldn’t have been easy.” He scowled. “It wasn’t easy convincing him he didn’t want you either.”

  She shivered faintly. Although everything had turned out all right, she knew all too well that it could easily have gone all wrong. There was no way she coula have acted that would have changed things, however, so she offered no apology for her actions. In hopes of turning the subject, she started to sit up, only to realize that she was still dressed only in her underthings.

  Blushing fiercely, she asked softly, “Where are my clothes?”

  Biting back a smile, Cloud held out her dress. Despite all the time they had been together, all the lovemaking they had indulged in, Emily clung to her modesty. It was one of the things that never let him forget that this time he was dealing with a far different sort of female than he usually did. He liked it, even though there were times he wished she would set aside such notions, be a little freer. Then again, he mused, an unrestrained Emily could well set him back on his heels.

  “You’re not going to like this, Em,” he said as he helped her do up her dress, “but that’s the last time you and Thornton wander off alone. We were damned lucky this time. Next time …” He shrugged. “We’re in a real wild area now and will be for a while.”

  She grimaced as he politely helped her stand. He was right. She did not like it. Nevertheless, she understood why he was imposing such a restriction. It was not only her or the boy at risk, but Cloud and James as well. She resigned herself to it as he led her to the fire where James had fixed their meal. There was a good chance that she would no longer feel safe going off by herself anyway.

  “I think it’ll be a good idea if we move on right after this,” Cloud announced half-way through the meal.

  “Think he might be back?”

  “It’s always a possibility, James.”

  Emily glanced at Thornton. He sat nearly in her lap quietly eating his food. She felt weighted down with the responsibility of the child, yet she knew in her heart that she would not give him up. What she did wish was that she could hurry up and get him to someplace that was safe and settled. Sighing, she looked back at the frowning men.

  “You think there might be some trouble, don’t you?”

  “Best to act as if there will be, Em,” Cloud said quietly. “It’s wisest if we don’t assume that he’ll leave it at getting a hank of your hair, or that any of his tribe is too far away for him to get any help. Out here it’s sometimes safer to always assume the worst.”

  “It will be dark soon. Won’t that make travel dangerous?”

  “A little. Damned slow too. It’ll put us a good distance from here by daybreak, though, and give us a good head start if he comes after us with a few friends.” He smiled faintly. “Don’t look so worried, Em. We’ll get you to Harper in one piece.” Cloud knew, though, that he would be reluctant, very reluctant, to hand Emily over to Harper.

  She smiled back, but it was little more than a polite response. She did want to get to someplace safe. She wanted the long, trouble-ridden journey over with. She also wanted to see her brother again. Unfortunately, to get all of those things meant the end of her time with Cloud and that was something she definitely did not want. But it was not something she was going to be given much choice about.

  It was not long before they were repacked and traveling again. Emily watched Thornton nod off to sleep against Cloud and wished she could do the same. Novice though she was to riding, she knew it was going to prove to be a long, uncomfortable night.

  The night was barely half over when Emily began to feel dangerously weary. She tried to right sleep by thinking, concentrating her mind on everything and anything she could. It was not long before she wished she could indulge in the luxury of sleep, for the only thing her tired mind seemed inclined to concentrate on was Cloud and what seemed to be a doomed relationship. That was probably better than thinking about a horde of blood-crazed Indians swooping down upon them at any moment. She sighed again; thoughts of Indians brought fear, but thinking about Cloud brought the pain and sadness born of futility.

  No matter how optimistic she tried to be, she could not talk herself into really believing that she was making much of an impression on Cloud’s apparently well-protected heart. He gave no hint at all that their current relationship would become more stable. As they came closer to the San Luis Valley, his plan of leaving her with Harper never changed.

  Her thoughts continued to circle round in her mind. She saw what could be hopeful signs in the way Cloud treated her, only to have that hope crushed by his lack of promises or even hints of other possibilities besides the inevitable separation. Her constant useless worrying of the problem brought her no solutions and soon it could not even keep her awake.

  Several times she felt her chin touch her collarbone but jerked herself back into a semblance of wakefulness. She swallowed a plea to halt for a while. The men were plodding doggedly onward and she was determined to do the same even if it was growing painful to keep her eyes open.

  The sky was just beginning to show hints of light when she lost her battle against sleep. Her mind was too clouded by exhaustion for her to use good, hard thinking as a means to stay awake. The steady plodding of her horse began to affect her as gently rocking cradle did a child. She had one brief flash of realization and cried out softly in frustration as sleep took a firm grip on her and she felt herself falling.

  “Emily!” James hurriedly reined in his mount as he saw Emily fall.

  Cloud looked back, even as he reined in. Cursing softly but viciously, he dismounted, pausing only to set the sleeping Thornton on the cart the mule pulled. He was crouching at Emily’s side even as James put an arm beneath her shoulders and partly raised her from the ground. When her eyelids briefly lifted and she looked at him, he breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Are you all right, Em?”

  “Very sorry.” She did not even try to fight it when her eyes shut again. “I simply could not stay awake another moment.”

  “Didn’t you notice her getting exhausted?” Cloud crossly asked James.

  “Nope. That little back was ramrod stiff right up until she fell. I think we’d better set here for a spell.”

  “We can’t.”

  “Seen something?”

  “Nope but, damn it, I smell it. I feel it. Don’t know if it’s that boy or if we’re riding into something else. There’s more’n enough mire around to step in.”

  “Charming. So why not just set here? Face whatever it is, if it comes?

  “I’ve got a better place up ahead.”

  “There’s nothing up ahead but
mountains.”

  “Exactly. We’re going to go up into them for a while.” He gently picked Emily up. “You can take the boy. Just give me a hand with Em.”

  He smiled faintly when she stirred slightly in his arms, cuddling up to him. Her subtle movement aroused him, yet it had not been very long at all since he had last made love to her. In fact, he mused, he had made love to Emily far more often than he had ever made love to any other woman before her, yet the hunger for her seemed as strong and swift as ever. Since he still thought it a good idea to marry her, that was good; yet it worried him a little for he could not help but see it as a power in her hands, a power easily misused if she ever fully realized that she held it.

  As he mounted and then, with James’s help, settled the soundly sleeping Emily before him, Cloud found himself thinking that Emily was not the kind of woman to misuse such a power. That surprised him, for he had hitherto had little trust in women. It was an attitude no woman had ever given him good reason to change. His first love had married the man her father chose for her, even as she declared undying love for him. Since then he had taken up with women like Abigail, who used him as much as he used them. A wife he could trust was not something he had ever held much hope of finding.

  Glancing down at the young woman asleep in his arms, Cloud decided it was time to find out more about Harper. Emily had taken on an arduous, dangerous trip to get to the man. When she spoke of him, it was with affection, although Cloud got the feeling that her opinions and impressions of the man were outdated ones. She had felt sure that Harper would help pay him if he had charged her a fee to guide her, and she felt sure that Harper would be glad to see her, for he had written to ask her to come. This Harper, Cloud decided, could prove to be a sizable obstacle. It was time to start finding out exactly who the man was, exactly what he meant to Emily, and what promises, if any, had been exchanged.

  “Cloud, are you sure you know where we’re going?” James said as he tightened his grip on an increasingly restless, awakening Thornton.

  “Right up ahead.”

  “Looks like solid rock to me.”

  “There’s a cave there.”

  “Livable?”

  “If it hasn’t crumbled.”

  “When did you last see it?”

  “About a year ago. Last time I went to see Wolfe.” He gently shook Emily awake. “Come on, Em, we have to lead the horses from here.”

  It took Emily several minutes to wake up enough to see where they were. “What are we doing going up into the mountains?”

  Helping her dismount, Cloud joined James in emptying the cart, dividing their belongings between the horses and the mule and hiding the cart. “To find a safe place to rest for a while. A cave. Secure, easy to defend, and dry.”

  “Might there not be some animal in there?”

  “If there is, then we’ll have some fresh meat for our supper.” He glanced her way and laughed softly at the disgusted face she pulled. “Never had bear, huh?”

  “A bear?” She put her arm around a yawning Thornton’s shoulders and held the boy closer to her side. “Have you met one before?”

  “Now, Em, a bear’s not much to fret over.”

  “Easy enough for you to say,” she grumbled as she took her mare by the reins and started to follow Cloud up a somewhat steep and rocky path.

  “That’s true. They’ve already tested me and found me inedible. Spit me right out.” He cast a grinning look at James, who could not fully restrain a laugh.

  Emily gave Cloud a look that clearly revealed her annoyance, then concentrated on leading her reluctant mount along. They seemed to be going to a great deal of difficulty simply to find a place to rest. Emily decided it might be best not to ask why, if only because she was sure she would not be calmed by the answer.

  Once at the cave, Cloud and James thoroughly inspected it for animals, then ceremoniously proclaimed it bear-free and safe. She ignored their jests as she entered the cave. After so many weeks of travail, a bear was the least of her worries.

  Chapter Seven

  “About that mire you mentioned, Cloud?”

  Looking up from the coffee he was brewing, and which he was trying yet again to show Emily how to make, Cloud frowned. “Indians?”

  “Well"—James glanced at Emily—"yeh.”

  Frowning even more, Cloud absently told Emily, “Try to make it strong.”

  He strode to James’s side at the opening to the cave. Things had remained peaceful for several hours, long enough for all of them to get a little sleep. Cloud supposed he should be thankful for that bit of luck. Nevertheless, what he saw below them made him curse their seemingly dismal luck, a luck that seemed to worsen each step of the way.

  “Renegades,” he hissed. “Looks it. A nasty mix of outlaws and outcasts.”

  “Murdering bastards with no morals and less mercy. They know we’re up here.”

  “I think I would’ve preferred a horde of Indians, bows taut and warpaint on.”

  “Yeh.” Cloud cursed softly. “At least then we’d have known what we were dealing with.”

  “Think we can hold them off from up here?”

  “We’ve got a strong defensive point, but they’ve got more men.”

  Knowing Cloud was merely thinking aloud, James continued in the same tone. “Each of them has to come straight into our line of fire.”

  “Night will be the worst time.”

  “So we try to drive them off before the sun goes down.”

  “We’ve been together too long, James. Save two bullets no matter what,” he said softly.

  Looking back at Emily and Thornton for a moment, James sighed and then looked at Cloud. “For them.”

  It was impossible to say the words so Cloud simply nodded, then said through clenched teeth, “I’ll do the same.”

  A little surprised to perceive strong emotion in a man who had never displayed it before, James spoke softly and somewhat gently. “It’ll hurt them a lot less and you know it. Just keep remembering what that scum’d do to them.” Cloud nodded and James, knowing his own reluctance to even think of what they might have to do, grimaced. “I’ll do the same.”

  Emily finally stood up and moved towards the two men. She did not really need to see their frowning faces to know that whatever was out there pleased them very little. It was clear to read in their taut posture and the checking of their guns. Without a word, she knelt between them and looked out, frowning when she did not see what she had expected to.

  “Those are not Indians.” There was the lilt of a question to her voice for she thought some of the men below did bear some resemblance to Indians.

  “Some of them are.”

  “I thought perhaps they were. They are nothing to do with the Indians who snatched Thornton, are they, Cloud?”

  “Nope. These are renegades.”

  “Not friends.”

  Deciding that she might as well know the full truth, Cloud solemnly nodded agreement. “I doubt they’re friends to anybody, even each other. The Indians with them have been tossed out of their tribes and that doesn’t usually happen for a small crime. There’s some that are a mix of Indian and white and take the worst of both races. The whites are outlaws, probably with more than one noose waiting for them somewhere. I can see a Mexican or two as well. And deserters, too, judging by the ragged uniforms.”

  “You make them sound far worse than the rest.”

  “Personal prejudice. Deserters killed my parents back in Arkansas near the end of the war.

  “Em, what we’ve got down there is refuse. No one wants ‘em. No one likes ‘em. It’s all mutual, too. They hate everybody and wouldn’t blink over stealing from their own mothers—or worse. The only thing that holds them together is that, united, they might not get hanged so quick. To put it plain, honey, you think of anything evil that you can and they’ve done it or soon will.”

  She shivered. “And they’ve found us.”

  “Near to. They certainly know someone’s
up here. Can’t say for certain if they know how many or who. If they don’t, that’s in our favor.”

  “I am able to handle a gun, Cloud.” “That may be, but you’ll stay out of the way.”

  “I could be of some assistance.”

  “Em, the best help you can give me is to stay out of the way. Get Thornton and find some cover, out of sight. Oh, hell, and put out that fire. If they get much closer, they’ll sniff us out.”

  She hurried to obey his order. It was doubtful that it would stop the renegades from finding them, but she was willing to try even the smallest chance. Once the fire was out, she hurried to get herself and Thornton out of the way.

  Using the horses and their supplies, Emily built a small barricade. She convinced James and Cloud to do the same for, although the cave was safety of a sort, they would have to expose themselves occasionally to battle the renegades.

  Sitting behind her makeshift barricade, Emily held Thornton close, advising him sternly not to make a sound. The men remained tensely waiting for the confrontation that was sure to come. She knew Cloud and James were admirable soldiers, but she feared for their lives. The odds were heavily weighted against them.

  Seeing Cloud’s saddlebags, she set Thornton aside and moved to open them. Keeping an eye on Cloud in hopes that he would not see what she was up to, she stealthily removed a pistol he had brought along to give to his brother as a gift and the box of ammunition to go with it. Quickly she sat back down next to Thornton and calmly loaded the pistol.

  Cloud had clearly not believed her claim that she could handle a gun. It did not surprise her that he would be so skeptical even though she had never made any false claims before. She was able to do so little, was so utterly helpless and incompetent out in the wilderness, that it was quite natural for him to doubt her. With all her heart she prayed she would not have to prove her claim, but she was ready to do so if the need arose. Setting the pistol in her lap, she sat tensely watching the men, sharing their taut anticipiation.

  When one of the renegades suddenly gave a soft cry of surprise and pointed right at them, Cloud cursed viciously. He had hoped, against all odds, that the men would give up before they found them. Rechecking his pistol and assuring himself that his rifle was readied, Cloud waited. There were several ways the men could turn now. He just hoped they made all the wrong choices.