The Depths of Sorrow

by Eleanor Eden

  We needed Burden.

  I looked forward to my transport to Conception Bay; it was the one thing I could count on. And after I boarded the freighter with her, I could visit her anytime, and bring my sad companions, too. We’d all have those visits as a reprieve. As hope.

  So, it was that much more devastating when the day came and she was not there to meet me.

  Money, Journey and I had decided I’d go alone that first time; unfortunately, there were few private locations I could transport to – none of which I knew for certain remained uninhabited. I’d decided on a field near the docks, hoping it was as barren as it was the last time I’d been there. And I’d go early and wait for her, lessening the likelihood I’d been seen.

  Eve was strange before I left, crying and reaching for me, calling out for her mother. I’d never seen her act her age, and the witnessing of it struck fear into my heart. The girl had gifts we hadn’t even fathomed, and I trusted her emotional meltdown to be more than just that. She knew something was wrong.

  Nevertheless, I kissed her forehead, and embraced Money extra-long, stricken by the depths of his pain when I touched him.

  I think somehow, he knew, too.

  Then I sought Journey out, for he was in the woods, unwilling or unwanting to say goodbye. But I found him; I could feel him just like I could feel the Fated.

  He sat on a fallen tree trunk, his eyes closed and his jaw clenched, when I approached him.

  “Journey,” I said, but he didn’t move; only opened his eyes, saying nothing.

  I knelt in front of him, looking up into the clear grey eyes that never left my mind. “I have to go,” I said.

  He shook his head. “I’m sick, Odyssey. I’m so sorry. I’m still trying -”

  “I know,” I cut him off, his apology forming an aching knot in my chest.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He gazed upward at the roiling sky just to the East. “It’s not just that,” he looked back at me, holding his hands out for mine, and I gladly gave them. “I can’t – I can’t feel her like I could before.”

  I frowned. “Burden?”

  He nodded. “I mean, everything feels different here – but I’ve always felt her, from the moment she was born.”

  Something hitched in me. Envy, yes, but that was a familiar struggle. A missive is not easily overtaken by such things, and the fact that I loved the woman who’d borne Journey’s child made it an automatic task. It was fear that struck me in that moment, and took hold until the reason was confirmed.

  “But now,” Journey’s face crumpled as his eyes filled with tears, “she’s – distant. Not just physically, but like she’s been altered…” he sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

  “Altered how?”

  He let out a wry laugh. “I don’t know!”

  I put my hands on his knees, desperate to make it better. “Consciously? Like she’s not – awake?”

  I was thinking about how the Fated felt to me when they were at the Source. Still alive, but separated – their bodies in one place and their consciousness in another.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know,” he cried then, not even trying to hold back his tears.

  I got up and sat next to him, the rough bark of my seat poking at me uncomfortably. My heart hammered as I reached out to turn his gaze to mine. It was his tears, I think. His raw hurt. It hurt me, too.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered when his eyes met mine, but I shook my head, overcome.

  “No,” I said, and then kissed him, my lips full on his cold ones for the first time.

  He pushed at me gently, but it was enough to leave a scar on my heart. “I can’t,” he breathed, his jaw clenching again.

  “I’ll find her,” I said as he turned from me, even as my blood pulsed in my ears and heated my cheeks.

  Distance had always been my rule, but I knew then that I’d been wrong to assume he wanted otherwise.

  I stood, and he let his head drop, his shoulders hunched and trembling as he cried.

  “I will,” I repeated, needing to go, wanting to flee.

  Wanting to make good on my promise.

  So, I did it right there; I stepped into nothing and flashed into the scene I made in my head, and it was only slightly different, thankfully.

  And nobody was there.

  I spent hours walking. Taking pictures with my mind so I’d have more options for transport. Trying to distract myself from that nagging feeling that didn’t leave when I left the shadow of Legion.

  And it grew as the day brightened and the time for the ferry to dock drew closer, blossoming into something near panic when I saw it on the horizon.

  It came.

  It came, and twelve passengers disembarked, looking weary, but well. I studied them all – marked their faces in my mind, even smiled at those who met my eyes.

  But none of them was Burden.

  And suddenly, I wasn’t an ancient Missive, controlled and wise. I was a terrified visitor whose loved one was gone, and I tore about the place, both on-board the massive ship and off, begging for help. Begging for hints.

  And nobody knew where she’d gone – even those shipmates and staff who remembered her.

  I held the call off for as long as I could. Held on to hope until the last investigator left and the sun dipped beneath the water. But the colors of the sunset weren’t what they should have been. Her absence ensured that.

  “What’s wrong?” Money answered Journey’s phone, no doubt worried and waiting for an update.

  I broke down, tears flowing from sore eyes despite the oceans I’d already cried. “Oh, dear God,” I sobbed.

  “No,” he said, but there was defeat in his voice. There was knowing.

  But still I had to say it. “She’s not here. She’s not here! And I don’t know where she is!”

  And then Journey was on the phone, not even needing me to repeat it. “Come back,” he said.

  “No! I don’t want to leave!” I cried, desperate for the truth to bend or change.

  “Something’s happened, Odyssey. We need to regroup.”

  “Something’s happened?” I cried, incredulous. “Something besides Burden disappearing?”

  He paused, but then he said, “Yes.”

  “What?” I demanded, uncaring. Burden was gone. Burden and her baby, and the crew had confirmed her presence on the freighter. The strongest of the Fated – the most evolved. The mother of Eve and the lover of a Fated that could turn dark energy against its owner.

  The daughter of the dearest friend I’d ever known, and something more. Burden was my friend. No – she felt like family.

  “We think we’ve found them,” Journey said, his words tight. I pictured him talking through clenched teeth.

  “Who?”

  “The two Fated. Garrett thinks he saw one of them at the property.”

  “Garrett was at the property?” I exclaimed, completely unhinged by that point.

  “Yes – he slipped out – he said he wanted to end it. He got hurt, but he’s OK! But there was someone else there; a man.”

  “How could you have let him go?” I cried, my voice shrill. “And – he’s hurt?”

  A muffled sound was the reply, but I didn’t care what he said. I sunk to the ground, my back against the brick wall of the security stand at the dock. And then a little voice pulled me back up.

  “You need to come back, Oddy,” Eve said.

  “Oh, baby,” I cried, lowering my face into the palm of my free hand.

  “Mommy and Solemn are alright. And they’re here, in the storm; we just can’t get them, yet.”

  I’d sat straight up, the tears halting all of a sudden. “What? Mommy’s there?”

  “They’re trapped. But they’ll help.”

  “Evie, who’s going to help?”

  Several moments passed. I didn’t breathe. “My grandad,” she said, finally, and my breath came out in a whoosh.

  “Come back,” Journey was on the other end, again.

&
nbsp; “Alright,” I said, and I stood, already turning on the spot, picturing the little cabin in Spain. “I’m coming now.”

  I took one last look as I turned and stepped through, one look at the bright moon hanging, pregnant and full above the still water, confirming in my heart that she wasn’t here.

  And determined to find her, whatever it took.

  The End

  Look for Book #3 of

  The Fated Order Series,

  “The Evolution of Journey”

  January, 2020