The Rest of Forever: A Guardian Angel Paranormal Romance

by Carrie Pulkinen

  April sighed. Ella wasn’t going to let up, so she’d just have to go along with it. “I’ll think about it, okay? Just give me another day or two to adjust.” She rose from the steps and wandered down the path to the street.

  Ella scampered after her. “Where are you going?”

  “I was gonna go to the school. See how my kids are doing.”

  Ella giggled. “Well, you don’t have to walk there, silly. You can Jump.”

  “Walking sounds a lot less strenuous.”

  “No! Not jump as in both feet off the ground. I mean Jump. As in imagine where you want to be in your mind, make your intent to go clear, and then just be there.”

  She stared at her in disbelief. She had to be joking. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. How do you think you got here?”

  “Damian brought me. I never really thought about it.” Funny, she never questioned his actions. She’d trusted him to take her where she needed to go without asking how. But that was because he was her Guardian. She was supposed to trust him.

  “Well, he Jumped. And since he was holding on to you, you went with him. Pretty cool, isn’t it?”

  April wrapped her arms around herself. This whole Angel thing kept getting stranger. “It’s kinda weird.”

  Ella beamed a smile. “Oh, you’ll get used to it. When I learned how to Jump, I did it all the time. I just couldn’t get enough of it. Do you want to try?”

  “Um, I don’t know.”

  “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.” She reached for April’s hand. “Where do you want to be?”

  Home. Somewhere I belong. With Damian.

  She shook herself to get the thought out of her head. “I was gonna go to my classroom.”

  “Okay. Close your eyes and picture it in your mind. Can you see it?”

  She nodded.

  “Now, just decide you want to be there. It’s all about intent. Are you ready? Take us there.”

  A tingling sensation rippled through her body, and when she opened her eyes she stood in the middle of her classroom.

  “Amazing.”

  Though it’d only been three weeks since her death, she expected it to be different. She thought something would have changed in her absence, but her classroom looked exactly the same as she left it.

  A substitute stood in her place, delivering the lecture she should’ve been giving. Alex sat in his desk, diligently taking notes. He seemed different, though. He had an air of sadness about him that was so out of character. Of course, three weeks ago, he was nearly killed.

  “I guess life goes on, doesn’t it?”

  Ella smiled sympathetically and rubbed her back. “Yes, it does. And so will yours.”

  “Will it?”

  The bell rang, signaling lunchtime, and she watched Alex drag himself out the door. Hopefully his Keeper could make him feel better soon, like Damian had done for her.

  “I wonder what Janice is doing.”

  “Let’s go see.”

  They strolled down the crowded hallway toward the teacher’s lounge. Every time a student passed through her, she felt a tickle in her core. She tried to step out of their way, but they never flinched—like she wasn’t there.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll get used to that too.”

  “It’s all so weird. I mean, one minute I was a teacher, convinced my jerk of a boyfriend was going to propose. And now I’m a ghost.”

  “You’re an Angel.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  Ella sighed. She was obviously getting tired of her mopey attitude, and April didn’t want to lose the only friend she had.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just hard to accept, you know?”

  “I understand. But you have to try...look, there’s Janice.”

  Janice sat at their usual table, but Crystal, an English teacher from two halls over, joined her. They smiled and laughed like she and April used to do. Crystal even sat in April’s chair. She’d been replaced. Her heart sank, and she blinked back the tears.

  Life really does go on.

  Her best friend had moved on. So why couldn’t she? Why was she so hung up on what everyone else was doing in her absence? She needed to figure out her future, but all she could think about was the past. She was about to Jump out and have a pity party for herself when she overheard Janice.

  “God, I miss her. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

  “I know. It just doesn’t seem real.” Crystal put her hand over Janice’s.

  Gone, but not forgotten. She’d heard enough. Janice missed her, and that was what she needed to know. No sense hanging around making herself miserable.

  “Hey, Ella? I think I’m gonna go back to Momma’s house. Shelly’s gonna be there today, and I want to see her again.”

  She hugged her and smiled. “Okay. Take care of yourself. And remember you can come to my house when you need to Slumber.”

  * * *

  Damian sat on the edge of his bed, staring at a crumpled piece of paper. He traced his finger across the image and sighed. He hadn’t thought about it in so long. He’d occupied himself with Charge after Charge, helping his fellow Guardians when they needed it. He’d managed to keep so busy all those years, it rarely crossed his mind. But the effects of the haunting event were burned into his soul.

  Then came April. She was wonderful. The most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. She was smart, charming, and full of spirit. She’d stirred up emotions in him that’d been dormant for so long, he’d forgotten what they felt like. Whenever she was near, his body warmed and desire pulsed through his veins. His heart quickened, and his arms ached to hold her. But his feelings for her brought the painful memories back to the surface.

  A betrayal so wicked he’d been left a broken man. He’d lost the ability to trust. To feel. He wouldn’t allow anyone to love him, when he couldn’t even love himself. That’s why he could not—would not—allow his feelings for April to bloom. He couldn’t let her know how much he longed to hold her. She deserved better. She deserved someone who could give her the love she needed. Someone whole.

  He couldn’t let her love him, but he couldn’t stand by and watch her fall apart. He had to go get her. He placed the crumpled paper back in the drawer and slid it shut, preparing to Jump.

  But a frantic knock on the door stopped him. Who the hell? He strode to the door and threw it open to find a Keeper looking up at him. Her tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes pleaded with him for help.

  He stepped away from the opening and gestured for her to enter.

  “Hi. I’m Jeana. I, uh...I need your help.” Her voice, thick with tears, trembled as she spoke. “My Charge is about to commit suicide, and I can’t talk him out of it. He isn’t listening.”

  Damian took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Guardians aren’t supposed to interfere with humans. What do you want me to do?”

  She clasped her hands together and stared at the floor for a moment before looking into his eyes. “I want you to cross over and stop him. Take the gun away. Talk to him.”

  “You know I can’t do that. As much as I want to help you, I just can’t.” Sadness filled his heart, weighing heavy on his soul when he looked at the quivering Keeper, her shaky breaths growing shallow as she tried to contain her panic.

  But it was expressly forbidden. Humans were left to lead their own lives with the simple guidance of their Keepers. If her Charge chose to die, it wasn’t Damian’s place to stop him.

  But then again.

  Why couldn’t he help her? He could at least get a neighbor to go inside, couldn’t he?

  “Please.” She threw herself against him and sobbed into his chest. “I thought you might help, you know, since you’re like Paul and Mira. The rules don’t apply to you.”

  He patted her back and shook his head. “I’m not like Paul and Mira, and the rules do apply. I just don’t always follow them.”

  “But, you know him. His name is Alex, and he goes to the school where you worked.”
<
br />   “Alex? April’s student?” His stomach dropped. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back to look in her eyes. “Tell me what happened.”

  “A lot of things. He’s so depressed. He blames himself for April’s death. Will you help him?”

  It was a classic catch-22. If he helped him, he’d be breaking a cardinal rule—doing something no Angel was allowed to do. But if he didn’t, he’d be letting an innocent child die by his own hand. He couldn’t live with himself if he allowed that to happen.

  Then there was April. Rules or no rules, if Alex died, April would be crushed. And he would not let her go through any more anguish. So by helping Alex, he was actually helping his charge. Nothing wrong with that.

  “Please, Damian. Will you help him?”

  “Yeah. Take me to him.”

  They Jumped to The In-Between in Alex’s bedroom. He sat, curled up in the corner, toying with a pistol. His torn jeans and faded T-shirt were typical teenage attire, but the look on his face told a different story. Alex was no ordinary teenager. The burdens of death and humiliation weighed on his soul, and no child should have to suffer like that.

  He turned the gun over and over in his trembling hands before raising it to his temple. Closing his eyes, he rested his finger against the trigger. Then he put it down again and started over.

  Damian watched him for several minutes as Jeana tried to whisper to him. Tried to convince him to put the gun away.

  “He’s not listening, and he’s going to do it. I can feel it.” She glided toward him and clutched his arm. “Please, Damian. His dad’s out of town. No one’s going to be home for days. Help him.”

  “I will.” He crossed over, into the hallway outside Alex’s room.

  He had to plan his actions carefully. Last time he tried to stop a shooter, April wound up dead. He didn’t want that to happen to Alex. She’d never forgive him.

  He cracked open the door, lifting the handle to minimize the creaking. Then he slipped in through the small space and crept toward the boy. His soft voice meant to be gentle and reassuring.

  “Hey, Alex. Whatcha doing?”

  Alex’s head snapped up when Damian spoke, and he whisked the gun behind his back. “Nothing. I’m not doing anything, Mr. Perkins.”

  He inclined his chin and peered at the crumpled mess of a teenager. “Then what’s the gun for?”

  Alex’s eyes grew wide, and he swallowed. “I was...” He shrugged. “I just...I can’t take it anymore. It’s my fault Miss Carter died. Everyone hates me for it. She’d still be alive if I wasn’t such a screw-up.”

  “You’re not a screw-up. We all make mistakes.” He knelt in front of him and put his hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you give me the gun? Just to be sure you don’t make another one.”

  Alex inched the gun from behind him, then jerked it back. “No. I deserve to die.”

  “No one deserves to die. Give me the gun.”

  He drew his brows together and pressed his lips into a hard line. “No.”

  “Do you think Miss Carter would want you to blow your brains out? Because I don’t. I think she’d want you to live a long, happy life. Don’t you?”

  His lip trembled. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and he hesitantly placed the pistol in Damian’s hand. “I miss her so much.”

  “So do I.” He tucked the gun into the back of his pants.

  Alex pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. “It’s not fair. You know? That bullet was meant for me. I should be the one dead. Not her. She was the best teacher I’ve ever had.”

  “She was an amazing woman.” She still is. “But you know what? It’ll get easier. You just have to give yourself time. Can you do that for her?”

  “Yeah. I guess I can. For her.” He unwrapped his arms and ran a hand through his matted hair. “Did you really get fired for beating the crap out of that guy?”

  Damian smiled and sat cross-legged on the carpet. “Something like that.”

  “I wish you would have killed him.”

  Part of Damian did too. Of course, he’d never take a life. But seeing April suffer, lying in her own blood, had unleashed a fury within him. He’d felt possessive. Like she belonged to him and he’d kill anyone who hurt her.

  Not an Angelic quality.

  “Well, I’m glad I didn’t. Then I’d be in even more trouble, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, I guess so.” Alex dropped his head back against the wall and rubbed his forehead. “God, I wish I could bring her back. I feel so awful. I’ll never forgive myself.”

  “You have to, though. You need to mourn. However you need to do it: hate yourself, hate the killer, be mad. But then get over it. Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life bitter, angry, and alone. Trust me.” I know.

  “I don’t know if I can get over it. I mean, she’s dead because of me.”

  “Not because of you. She died because of the choices she made. She chose to put herself in front of the gun. She chose to try and talk it out of the killer’s hands. She could’ve just as easily chosen to run and leave you alone with the guy, couldn’t she?”

  “I guess.”

  “We always look back on our lives and think of ways we’d change them. But there are no do overs in life. You can’t change the past, but you can work on building the kind of future for yourself that Miss Carter would’ve wanted you to have.”

  But that’s easier said than done.

  Alex drew in a shaky breath and wiped the tears from his swollen eyes. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I guess I’ll try for her... Hey, Mr. Perkins? How’d you know where to find me? I mean, my dad’s out of town, and I came here straight after school.”

  He smiled and helped Alex to his feet. “I just had a hunch.” With the gun tucked into the waistband of his pants, he walked him to the front door. “I don’t want to leave you alone. Do you have any relatives nearby you could stay with until your dad gets back?”

  “Yeah. My aunt lives three doors down. We’re pretty close. I could probably stay there.”

  “Come on, then. I’ll walk with you.”

  * * *

  Shelly lay asleep in her bed, and April sat cross-legged on the mattress next to her. Though they appeared gray, the pale pink walls hadn’t been painted since she’d moved out. But the floral duvet and polka-dot sheets were new. Her sister had been staying with Momma for the past six days, and April had kept her distance, watching them from afar.

  They seemed to be coping better than she was. But they had each other for comfort. Their love for each other kept them going. Who did April have that loved her?

  No one.

  “Oh, Shelly. I really wish you could hear me. I need to talk to you so bad. I’m dead. And now I’m supposed to be some Guardian Angel. I can’t even take care of myself. How am I supposed to take care of other people?”

  She watched the gentle rise and fall of her sister’s chest as she breathed.

  “Jared turned out to be a jerk, which wouldn’t have surprised you, I guess. You never did like him much. But there’s this other guy. You’d really like him if you met him, I think. He’s tall and incredibly sexy, and there’s so much compassion is his eyes. He tries to hide it, but he’s the most caring person I’ve ever met. The problem is he hates me, and I don’t know why. I wish there was some way to make him like me, because he sets me on fire every time he touches me. I just don’t know what to do. Why am I so attracted to someone who can’t stand me?”

  She lay on the bed and draped her arm across her sister. “I miss you, Shelly.”

  “April?” Shelly shot up in the bed and looked around the room. “April, is that you?” Her voice grew frantic as she shouted, “April!”

  Her heart sprinted. Could Shelly sense her? Did she hear what she said? Was it possible?

  Momma ran upstairs, clutching her shabby bathrobe to her chest. “Shelly? What’s wrong?”

  “I...don’t know. I thought April was here. I felt her. Momma, sh
e was here.”

  Momma sank onto the bed between her daughters and put her arm around Shelly. “I miss her too, sweetheart. But she’s gone. It was only a dream.”

  “But it felt so real. Like she was sitting here talking to me, just like she used to do.”

  Momma sighed. Her slumped posture and the heavy circles under her eyes showed how worn out she was. “I dream about her too. But she can’t be here. She’s in Heaven now.”

  Shelly nodded and lay back on her pillow. “You’re right. She couldn’t be here, could she? She’s probably floating on a cloud somewhere, eating cheesecake, and not gaining a single pound.”

  If only.

  “Go back to sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day.” Momma closed the door, and Shelly closed her eyes.

  April didn’t want to upset her sister anymore, but she needed the companionship. She could lie there quietly. Sleep with her like she used to do whenever she had a bad dream. Because that’s what this all seemed like. An excruciatingly long, bad dream.

  She grew weaker every day. She finally understood what Ella had meant about not getting the rest she needed here. But she still wasn’t ready to go back. She wasn’t ready to let go.

  Nestling into the pillow, she closed her eyes and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

  * * *

  “April? April, wake up. You need to come home.”

  The voice sounded distant, like part of a dream. But she’d recognize it anywhere. Damian had come for her.

  “C’mon. You need to come back with me. Now.”

  “Mmm...” She rolled over and tried to ignore him. She was too tired to deal with him. Maybe in the morning...the thought trailed off as she slipped back to unconsciousness.

  “All right. We’ll do this the hard way.” He slipped his arms beneath her back and knees and lifted her to his chest.

  The jolt startled her; now she was fully awake. “What are you doing? Put me down!”

  He glared at her and frowned. “It’s for your own good. You’re weak; you need Slumber.”

  “No! I’m not going back! Put me down!” She pounded her fists into his chest, but he didn’t flinch. His hold was firm, his body warm. But she wouldn’t give in to the comfort of his embrace. She kicked and screamed and clawed until he finally dropped her.