by James Ross
“Yes.” He leaned forward and sipped his drink through his straw. “Would you like to hear more about them?”
“What else do you know?” Julie interjected.
“Everything,” Pabby said matter-of-factly as he licked his lips. “Lions are the tallest feline. They have powerful legs, strong jaws and long teeth to take down large prey. Males can be eight feet long and four feet high while females are smaller. And they look totally different. The males have a mane and the females do not.”
“Did you write a paper on them in school?” Julie asked.
“No,” Pabby answered.
“You sure know a lot about them,” J Dub admitted.
“That’s not all. Would you like to hear it?”
“Don’t let us stop you,” Julie said.
“They nap or sleep about twenty hours a day. After the sun goes down they’ll walk around and hunt, taking about an hour to eat. Lions can take membership in a pride or become a nomad and go alone or with another. What many people don’t know is that the lionesses are the ones that hunt for prey. They are smaller, swifter, quicker and much more agile than the males.”
“That could maybe apply to the human race,” J Dub quipped.
“The lionesses work together to stalk their prey. They will close to within thirty yards and encircle the herd, choosing to capture the closest prey. The attack is swift and often comes with a powerful leap. Death almost always comes by asphyxiation.”
“That’s a big word,” Julie interrupted.
“Not really,” Pabby shot back. He frowned as the interruption momentarily made him lose his train of thought.
“What do they like to eat?” J Dub asked.
“Large mammals like the wildebeest, zebras, impalas, buffalo and boar. If hunting is tough then the lions will go after gazelles and deer. But they generally stay away from giraffes, elephants, hippopotamuses, rhinoceroses and antelopes.” Pabby closed his eyes and yawned.
“Have ya had enough?” Aieshia asked.
Pabby nodded his head, got down off the stool and crawled back into the booth. After taking his seat he crossed his arms on the table and laid his head down.
J Dub and Julie stood dumbfounded.
CHAPTER 8
“Whoa!” Fred yelled as he entered the clubhouse and stopped in his tracks. The sight of two teens and a couple of adults in his booth went over about as well as a warm bottle of beer on a hot, humid afternoon. He turned to J Dub. “What’s going on in here?”
“We have some guests.”
Bewildered Fred shrugged his shoulders. “But we’re done and it’s time for lunch.”
“Nothing is stopping you,” Julie intervened. “Grab a seat somewhere else.”
“I don’t know if I can.” The portly redhead with the freckled face rubbed his right hand over his flat top. Then he looked down at his considerable gut that resembled a beer keg. “There aren’t too many places where I feel comfortable. That’s my spot.”
“Do we need to be movin’?” Aieshia asked.
“No, no, no,” J Dub insisted. “You folks make yourself feel at home.”
“Who did she play left tackle for?” Pork Chop whispered to Julie.
Julie tilted her head and looked out the top of her eyes. “Be nice.”
“That guy with the little girl looks funny,” Fred said to Julie as he placed his hand on one side of his mouth to shield his voice.
Julie did the same with her hand and whispered, “That guy is named Carla.”
Fred winced, cringed and covered his mouth as his eyes got wide. “Oh, come on. Tell me it isn’t.”
“Why don’t you guys pull a stool up to the counter?” Julie urged as Scottie P, YouWho, Elia, Paco, Curt, Paul, Captain Jer, Trot, Dr. DV and BT followed each other into the clubhouse.
Paul immediately headed for BowTye depositing his shoes on the floor next to the attendant. “The usual.”
“I know how impeccable you are, Mista Paul,” the minority celebrity that doubled as the shoeshine boy answered.
“What did we decide?” Curt asked.
“About what?” Elia countered in a heavy Middle Eastern accent.
“Where we’re going on our summer trip,” Curt said. “Did the consensus agree on Kentucky Lake?”
Shae perked her head up. She sat in the back booth next to Carla and rolled her hair around the index finger of her left hand. Her head was cocked sideways and she idly looked at the blades of the ceiling fan spinning around in circles. Her right hand was bent at a right angle at the wrist. The fingers on that hand appeared to be frozen together. The thumb pressed on the nails of the two middle fingers while the index finger and pinkie finger protruded straight out.
“What was the other?” Paco answered before getting interrupted.
“Kentucky is nicknamed the Bluegrass State,” Shae started. All eyes in the room shifted to the back corner. Even though the voice was meek there was no mistake in the commitment. The guys swapped puzzled looks as J Dub and Julie smirked.
“You’ll be interested to know that the state bird is the cardinal.” Shae paused and looked at Elia. “Why, you ask?” She switched her attention to the immigrant from Beirut. “Because it’s the nickname of your baseball team.”
The room got as quiet as a church during prayer. “The capital is Frankfort. The state is bordered by seven states, one less than Missouri which has eight states touching its border.”
Shae reveled in the excitement that she created. She cocked her head sideways and rolled it to the other side of her neck as she stared at the ceiling fan. All the while she twisted hair around the index finger of her left hand. “The state flower is the goldenrod. If you ask me I say ick. That makes me sneeze.”
The guys laughed at her interpretation. “Some of you might be interested to know that the state tree is the yellow poplar while others might want to know that the largest city is Louisville.” Her head moved in circles as the blades on the fan rotated above. “Can anyone tell me an interesting presidential fact about Kentucky?”
Blank looks were shared.
“Of the fifty states Kentucky is the thirty-seventh largest and the birthplace of Abraham Lincoln.”
Pabby stirred. He had folded his arms on the table and rested his head atop them. With a disoriented look his eyes cautiously scanned the crowd that had gathered. Confused, he turned to Shae. “Enough!”
The girl attempted to defend herself. “I was…”
“Shae! Enough!”
CHAPTER 9
Curt looked out the window as J Dub escorted the kids and their assistants to the van. The guys scurried to their spot in the back booth.
“So, what did we decide?” Paco asked.
“Maybe it’s best to stay here and get a history lesson,” BT answered as he used his educational background to make a plug. “A little of that never hurt anybody.”
“And give up golf with the guys?” Fred responded. “I gave the books up when I got out of trade school.”
“Yeah, and it shows,” Captain Jer followed. He raised an empty can in the air and motioned to Julie to bring him a refresher. “Sometimes I wonder if you can even add the scores right.”
“Yeah, well, with most of the guys I just have to add up threes and fours. With you I’ve got to add up all the crooked numbers,” Fred said.
“And try to figure out how many strokes you don’t count,” Pork Chop added.
“Are you saying I cheat?” Captain Jer insinuated.
“We all know you do!” Julie blurted as she placed a can of beer on the table.
“If you counted all your strokes, Jer, I don’t know if you would break a hundred on a lot of days,” Elia followed.
“Oh, come on,” Captain Jer said. “I don’t cheat that bad. I just drop another one down and hit a mulligan when I need to.”
“You’re supposed to count all of those, Jer,” Paul said as he mildly chastised his friend. He was the perfectionist in the group. His military recruitment backgro
und demanded it.
“Yeah, if we see one come out of your pocket it’s an automatic X on the card for the skins game,” Scottie P said.
Captain Jer chuckled. “Leave it to the gay guy to talk about pockets and skins.” He laughed some more before taking a swig of beer. “Aaaah,” he sighed. “What do you think about all of these guys, Trot?” The retired pilot turned to his comedian friend.
“A lot of love is being spread your way, Jer.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He glanced over to Scottie P. “Make sure you keep an eye on his hands at all time.” He laughed at his own suggestion.
“You sound homo-phobic,” Julie shouted from the register. She had returned to her spot behind the counter.
“Hey, we’ve got a standard warning system in place,” Captain Jer said as he turned his head and shouted over his shoulder.
“Why is that?” Julie asked.
“We watch out for each other out there in the wide open spaces,” Captain Jer.
“Quit pulling my leg,” Julie fired back at the pilot. “Scottie P isn’t going to make a move on any of you guys out on the course.”
“What are you talking about?” Captain Jer returned. “You didn’t hear.”
“About what?” Julie wondered out loud.
The pilot chuckled some more then he fired down half the can of beer. “You better bring me another if you want to know what happened.”
“Jer! You just drank that beer in less than two minutes!” Julie yelled.
Captain Jer waved his hand at her. “This is just mouthwash for me.”
“If that’s the case then he’s been gargling it all morning,” Paco said. “He went through at least twelve of them on the course.”
“I know,” Julie said. “I put a six-pack in the cooler at the turn.”
“And we know you always start off with a six-pack in the cart before you get to the first tee,” BT added.
“Geez, what is this?” Captain Jer asked. “Did all of you folks get religion or something over the weekend?” He looked over at his veterinarian friend and grinned sheepishly. “I’ve got my buddy here to take good care of me.” Dr. DV always drove Captain Jer home after golf. With Trot coming around more and more, Captain Jer had two guys that could watch after him, but Trot wasn’t the safest bet because he was known to go drop for drop with the pilot. That doubled Dr. DV’s duties on a lot of days.
“Maybe I oughta not serve you anything for a while,” Julie said.
“Now you’re starting to sound like my wife,” Captain Jer said.
“How is she doing, by the way?” Julie asked.
“She’s fine,” Captain Jer blurted. “We’ve come to an understanding.”
“What is that?” Julie asked. She broke down and placed another beer in front of her favorite customer.
“First off, I pay the bills. I do what I want,” the retired pilot stated adamantly.
“That sounds so chauvinistic,” Julie countered.
“That’s the way it is. It’s my way or the highway. If you haven’t heard it before, then you’re hearing it now.” Captain Jer reveled in his moment.
“That’s not very compassionate,” Julie mildly complained. She was standing at Captain Jer’s side.
“I don’t care if it is or not. She knows that it gets worse if I have to constantly remind her all the time. So she accepts the way it is.” Captain Jer raised the can of beer to his lips and took a swig. “I love it when you serve them cold like that, Jules.”
Julie shrugged. “It’s part of my job description I guess.”
“I mean guys talk. We all give jabs at each other on the golf course. Look at Pork Chop over there.” Captain Jer nodded in the direction of another of his friends. He took a healthy guzzle. “Now he won’t tell you in here, but if you ask him how his wife is, what do you think he’ll tell you?”
“She’s a beautiful woman. The mother of his children. A wonderful homemaker,” Julie replied.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s what he wants you to believe,” the retired pilot said. “But out on the golf course we’ll ask him how his wife is and he tells us that she is as bitchy as ever.”
“You’re so full of it, Jer! Pork Chop would never say anything like that,” Julie said as she came to her other friend’s defense. “He’s too much of a gentleman to air his domestic problems with you.”
The retired pilot roared with laughter. “And look at Scottie P there. Did he ever sit down with you and tell you why he switched over?”
“I just assumed he had a thing for Father Blair,” Julie said. “Oh, for Gawd sakes,” Captain Jer said. “Now I shouldn’t really speak for him,” he continued as he gave the retired car dealer a grin, “but it was a woman that drove him to switch sides.”
“Jerry, I don’t know whether to believe a thing out of your mouth or…”
“You better believe all of it,” Captain Jer warned. “I mean he tried to be normal, but,” the pilot turned to Scottie P and asked, “Is it okay for me to tell her?”
Scottie P rolled his eyes. “I’m sure in your mind there is justification for everything.”
The retired pilot brought the can of beer to his lips, took a sip and then he turned back to Julie. “He had to cut her off.”
Julie started laughing. “Jerry, you’re so full of…”
“No, he did,” the pilot assured her. “He told us that if he got some one night she would hold him hostage for a month or two and make him do the honey-do’s around the clock. He just decided that it was better to switch sides and not be in prison.”
The guys broke out in mass laughter as Julie placed her hands on her hips and shook her head back and forth. “Nothing you say surprises me.” She grabbed an empty can. “Is that what you were going to tell me about what he did out on the course?”
Captain Jer furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about?” His head moved negatively. “That’s a different story.”
“I can’t wait to hear this one,” Julie said as B2 rubbed up against her leg.
Captain Jer looked down at the dog. “It’s kind of like that.”
Julie gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”
“It’s why we have to watch out for each other on the course. If we’re not careful and let our guard down then we’ll be in the woods looking for a golf ball or something and before you know it Scottie P is nuzzling up to you like that dog there, you know getting real close.”
“Oh, Jerry…”
“That’s only half of it.” He paused and took another swill. “When you hear the sound of a zipper going down it kind of takes you away from your game.”
The guys roared again. “Like you’ve really got a game,” Julie countered.
CHAPTER 10
For those that worked eight to five, the work day had long since come and gone. But the moments leading into the midnight hour provided an opportunity to search for an online friend. The Instant Message box popped up on the monitor.
barrydebohn: you there?
kittypurrs4u appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
barrydebohn: I’m working late. Buzz me when you get online
10:07 pm. Your status is Idle.
Reading glasses rested on the bridge of his nose. A bright light illuminated the reading material. It was late and he was ready to go home. The middle aged man got up and walked to the mini-refrigerator that was on a side wall. Bottled water was the beverage of choice. He twisted the cap, took a healthy swig and returned to his chair behind the desk.
He swiveled the chair and placed his fingers on the keyboard.
barrydebohn: I’ll look for you some other night
The cursor moved across the screen until it positioned itself over the X. He wrinkled his nose and took another gulp of water. His hands returned to the keyboard.
barrydebohn: Let me know when you’ll be online
The cursor moved back across the screen.
kittypurrs4u: I
’m here
barrydebohn: damn what took u so long
kittypurrs4u: been busy
barrydebohn: multi-tasking w the boys?
kittypurrs4u: tee hee
kittypurrs4u: u know me
barrydebohn: not well enuf
kittypurrs4u: we’ll have to do something abt that
barrydebohn: when? It can’t be soon enuf
kittypurrs4u: horny huh?
barrydebohn: u know how it is
kittypurrs4u: no I don’t
kittypurrs4u: all u boys r the same
kittypurrs4u: ur all out for some strange trim
barrydebohn: what’s wrong w that?
kittypurrs4u: what would ur wife say?
barrydebohn: I’m not married
kittypurrs4u: they all say that
barrydebohn: what’s been keeping u busy?
barrydebohn: did u get a new boy toy?
kittypurrs4u: tee hee
kittypurrs4u: I found one that interests me
barrydebohn: tell me
barrydebohn: what’s special abt him
kittypurrs4u: I don’t kiss n tell
barrydebohn: oh come on
barrydebohn: u can tell me
kittypurrs4u: Whatcha wanna know
barrydebohn: what makes him special
kittypurrs4u: hmmmm
kittypurrs4u: I don’t know if I should tell u
barrydebohn: did he wine and dine u?
kittypurrs4u: tee hee
kittypurrs4u: no need for that
barrydebohn: what did u do?
kittypurrs4u: I’ve always had this fantasy
barrydebohn: what’s that
kittypurrs4u: I’ve got this thing abt long hair
barrydebohn: was that the only thing that was long?
kittypurrs4u: tee hee
kittypurrs4u: we had been talking for a while
barrydebohn: u gave him your number?
kittypurrs4u: no silly online
barrydebohn: oh
barrydebohn: that’s how it works?