by James Ross
kittypurrs4u: I never meet anyone w/o my bf
barrydebohn: u have a boyfriend? I thought I was
kittypurrs4u: tee hee
kittypurrs4u: not my main bf
kittypurrs4u: anyway he’s from out of town
barrydebohn: they drive to u?
kittypurrs4u: I’m not going to go to them!
kittypurrs4u: if they want me they can pay the tab
barrydebohn: so what happened?
barrydebohn: tell me
kittypurrs4u: it was HOT
barrydebohn: really?
kittypurrs4u: yeah, it was great. He was so NEW
barrydebohn: young and hot. U found a stud
kittypurrs4u: Not that young. I had to seduce him
kittypurrs4u: 32
kittypurrs4u: 6'4”
barrydebohn: right up your alley
kittypurrs4u: Mmmmm. And long dark hair. Curly
kittypurrs4u: that grin on his face
barrydebohn: what
kittypurrs4u: it was evil
kittypurrs4u: I wanted to see what he was up to
kittypurrs4u: and his eyes
kittypurrs4u: they were beautiful
kittypurrs4u: like his soul shined through
kittypurrs4u: bright blue
barrydebohn: get on with it. I want to hear what happened
kittypurrs4u: but he was so shy
kittypurrs4u: that surprised me
kittypurrs4u: I mean he could have any woman he wanted
barrydebohn: get on w it. I don’t want to hear abt all that love crap
kittypurrs4u: hey its my story
kittypurrs4u: don’t piss me off
barrydebohn: sorry I just want to hear it
kittypurrs4u: I’ll get to it. I have emotions
barrydebohn: yeah right. If u do a stranger then
kittypurrs4u: that’s it
kittypurrs4u: I’m out of here
barrydebohn: No no no I’m sorry
barrydebohn: tell me
barrydebohn: what happened
kittypurrs4u: are u going to behave?
barrydebohn: yeah yeah I promise
kittypurrs4u: they all say that
kittypurrs4u: when it came to getting a room
barrydebohn: ???
kittypurrs4u: he was real shy
barrydebohn: oh
kittypurrs4u: but he got unshy in a hurry
barrydebohn: tell me
kittypurrs4u: I am!
kittypurrs4u: what’s wrong w u tonight?
kittypurrs4u: haven’t u been getting any?
barrydebohn: no that’s not it. I want to hear the story
kittypurrs4u: he didn’t have any problem at all
barrydebohn: what?
kittypurrs4u: being part of a team
barrydebohn: ???
kittypurrs4u: w Stud
barrydebohn: who is Stud?
kittypurrs4u: my bf!
barrydebohn: u never told me that
kittypurrs4u: I told u I never meet anyone w/o my bf
barrydebohn: ok, so this new guy and Stud they
kittypurrs4u: yeah it was a MFM thing
kittypurrs4u: get it
kittypurrs4u: it was my fantasy
barrydebohn: you’re wild
kittypurrs4u: duh
barrydebohn: so what else happened
kittypurrs4u: I have to go
barrydebohn: No no no not now
barrydebohn: why
kittypurrs4u: Stud needs me
kittypurrs4u: bye
barrydebohn: Aw
kittypurrs4u has signed out
barrydebohn: when will you be back
kittypurrs4u appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
barrydebohn: kitty
kittypurrs4u appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
barrydebohn: u there?
kittypurrs4u appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
barrydebohn: Dammit. Don’t do this to me!
kittypurrs4u appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
barrydebohn: kitty
kittypurrs4u appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.
barrydebohn: kitty
CHAPTER 11
“Uncle Woo!” Fred shouted from the rear corner. “What brings you out to the golf course this morning?”
The frail man stood alone with the front door of the clubhouse ajar. He was dressed in jeans and wore a long sleeved, button-down, plaid shirt. A ball hat sat cocked on his head, its bill on a forty-five degree angle toward the ceiling. He looked lost as Pork Chop parked the car. “Lunch.”
“Lunch?” Fred beamed. “We’ll be glad to join you.”
“Oh, no. We’ve already got that planned with somebody.”
“Who would that be?” BT asked.
Uncle Woo looked bewildered. He gave the guys one of those looks that told them that he knew but he just couldn’t remember. He rolled his right hand in a circular fashion gesturing to the guys for help just as Pork Chop strolled through the door. “Who is that big shot we’re eating lunch with today?”
“Don’t you remember, Pops?” Pork Chop asked. “That’s all we talked about on the way over.”
The poor guy wrinkled his forehead, reached up and took the hat off his head before scratching his fingers through his thinning hair. Frustration was etched across his face.
“Sounds like!” Captain Jer shouted from the back booth.
“Jerry!” Julie scolded. “He’s trying to remember.”
“I’m trying to help him,” the retired pilot said as he defended himself. He picked up a can of beer and enjoyed a sip of the cold brew.
“It’s barely eight in the morning, Jerry,” Julie said.
“And they’re going down smooth, sweet pea.” He gave her a sheepish grin. It was hard to predict what was going to come out of his mouth next.
“It was that real wealthy guy,” Uncle Woo said as the thought was within his grasp.
“That’s right, Pops. Tell the guys who we’re going to eat lunch with today.”
Just as quickly as the thought came to him, it left. The old man clenched his fists and then pounded them together. It was sad to witness the frustration. “He’s that guy that’s building the skyscraper right outside my window.”
“That’s right,” Pork Chop prompted his dad. “Tell them who it is. Where did he fly in from?”
“New York.”
“You got it, Pops. What does he do in New York?”
The elderly man winced again as he tried to remember. He glanced over to the television set that was showing a replay of the baseball game the night before. “That’s who it is,” Uncle Woo said matter-of-factly.
“Who?” Fred asked. He had gotten up from his normal spot to throw a banana peel in the trash.
“It’s the guy that owns the New York Yankees,” Uncle Woo said as Pork Chop wore a smug grin.
“Tell them where we are going to go to lunch.”
The old man looked confused again. “I don’t remember.” The memory loss annoyed him. “But I do know that he said he would pick us up in his helicopter.”
“When did you talk with him?” Captain Jer asked.
“Oh, every day,” Uncle Woo explained. “He’s out there at dawn with a hard hat on watching the crane pick things up and move them to the top of the skyscraper.”
“See what you have to look forward to, Pork Chop,” Captain Jer said in a hushed tone to his golfing buddy.
“And what you don’t know is that after several beers you’ve got memory loss too,” Julie said as she placed a blueberry muffin in front of BT.
CHAPTER 12
“I see that it’s a wee bit chilly in here,” Captain Jer said as Julie bent over in front of him and wiped the crumbs from the muffin off the table. She was wearing navy blue culottes a
nd a white cotton top that was tight and had short sleeves. Undone buttons below her neck gave the guys something to talk about. The breeze from the ceiling fan caused miniature goose bumps to erupt on her arms. Her nipples were erect.
“Give me a break,” Julie shot back. “Haven’t you ever seen a couple of headlights?”
Captain Jer grinned. “Not too often on high beam.” He stared into her eyes and with an elongated pronunciation said, “Nice.”
“What time are the kids due today?” Fred asked.
“They should be here any minute,” Julie answered.
Captain Jer couldn’t shut up. “The boy looks like he’s got a little of Elia and a lot of Paco in him.”
“I’m sure they were genetically represented,” Julie said sarcastically.
“And the girl looks like she could have been a mixture of BowTye and YouWho.”
“And there’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re a by-product of hops and barley,” Julie fired back. “Don’t you have a nice thing to say about anyone?”
Captain Jer winked at her. “I just complimented you a few minutes ago.”
Julie looked at Dr. DV. “Can’t you or Trot do something with him, Doc?” Julie asked. The gang had started to simply call the veterinarian Doc.
“Don’t look at me. My job is well defined. I take him home,” the vet replied.
Julie looked at the professional comedian. “How about you, Trot? Can’t you…”
“Did I ever tell you the one about…” the funnyman interrupted only to be cut short by Julie.
“I’m not in the mood to hear one of your stories,” Julie said as she retreated to her spot behind the counter. Seconds later the door to the clubhouse opened and four men she didn’t recognize entered.
“Can we play a round?” the dark haired guy with the well-defined upper body asked. He had a pronounced five o’clock shadow and his smile was out of one side of his mouth. The way the other side drooped it appeared he had suffered a stroke. Julie thought it odd for someone who looked so young could fall victim to that.
“What time?” she asked as J Dub turned his head, looked over his reading glasses and peered through the doorway that led to his office.
“Right now,” the guy answered.
J Dub got up and sauntered to the register. “How are you fellas doing today?”
“Great. It’s a nice to be off and be able to play in this weather.”
“Have you been out here before?” the pro asked as Julie rang up the register.
“Once or twice, but it’s been a few years,” came the reply.
“Then you’re aware of our dress code,” J Dub informed him. The foursome was dressed in jeans. Two of them had on tee shirts and two of them had on sleeveless tank tops.
“Not really,” the spokesman of the group replied. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a piece of paper. The creases were worn and the color of the paper was faded. “I’ve got this gift certificate.” The ringleader unfolded the certificate and handed it to J Dub.
The pro could barely make out the wording. “How old is this?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe three or four years. I won it at some raffle.”
J Dub examined the piece of paper. “What does that say?” He showed the certificate to the customer.
“Beats me. I can’t make it out,” the golfer said.
“This thing is so old that the expiration date has come and gone,” J Dub said. “I think that this thing expired over two years ago.”
“You don’t want our business?” the guy asked.
“No, no. That’s not it at all. We’ve just cleaned out our books for that year and this isn’t good anymore.” The pro looked at the way the foursome was dressed. Tattoos covered the arms of one of the guys in a muscle top. “One of our policies here is that golfers must wear shirts with a collar,” he told the group. “You guys can play, but it would be better if you could go over to the shelf and pick out a golf shirt to wear.”
“We’re not gonna do that,” came the reply. “It’s hot out. We want to play golf.”
“Do all of you have your own clubs?”
“We can’t share?”
“No, everyone has to have their own bag,” J Dub said.
The guys looked at each other. “It doesn’t sound like you want us to stick around.” They glared back at the pro.
“No, that’s not it all. We have our policy. If we start bending the rules for one or two people then everyone will want those privileges extended.”
Julie glanced at J Dub trying to catch his attention. “Can I say something?”
“Sure,” J Dub answered.
“In private,” she said as she stepped away from the register and headed to the office.
J Dub followed. “What?”
“Just let them go. We need the money. There’s nobody out there today.”
“The gift certificate isn’t any good,” he said, “and they look like crap.”
“Don’t worry about it. The other three will pay.”
“If other golfers see those muscle shirts we’ll have every biker on the river road up here wanting to play in leather and tank tops.”
“Take the money. We have bills to pay,” Julie said in her most persuasive tone. As the bookkeeper she was constantly worried about having enough money at the end of the month.
J Dub gave her a look. “I don’t know.” Julie tilted her head down and puffed out her lower lip. “What can I tell them now?”
“Just give them a warning.”
J Dub shook his head. He didn’t like to be persuaded by emotions. He turned and approached the golfers. “Since you fellas are already out here you can go ahead and play. We’ll simply make you aware of the dress code in case you come back. As far as the gift certificate goes, we’ll honor that too.”
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Julie asked.
“No, we’ve got our own,” the dark haired guy said.
“Okay. That’s it,” J Dub said. “We’re letting you go out there dressed the way you are. If you want to drink on the course, then the beer has to be purchased from us.” He looked at the group of players. “Do you guys understand?”
An indifferent look followed. “Nah, we don’t need anything,” the spokesman said.
“Get the paperwork signed and give them a receipt,” J Dub said to Julie. He turned and muttered. “Something tells me that…” Whatever he mumbled next was inaudible as he stepped into the office.
CHAPTER 13
Aieshia opened the door to the clubhouse just as the foursome was leaving. Her frame filled the doorway and intimidated the golfers. After they passed each other awkwardly the ringleader of the group mouthed over his shoulder to his buddies, “See, they let people in jeans play at this joint.” He noticed her sweatshirt with the sleeves pulled up on her forearm. “And she doesn’t have a collar either.”
Pabby barged through the entrance once the opening cleared. He leaned forward, top-heavy and took large steps as he sped to a table by the guys. B2 stirred at the sound of the feet plopping against the floor. Fred always seemed to have a free hand dangling down petting him behind the ears.
“Hey, J Dub,” the overweight auto plant foreman yelled, “Can we go off the back so we don’t have to get behind the newbies?”
J Dub exited the office and nodded. He noticed Pabby inching his feet away from B2, being careful not to get too close to the dog. “Yeah you guys can play the back nine first. Just be careful not to butt in front of someone when you make the turn.” He walked over to the tee time sheet and then glanced at his watch. “Right now it looks like we should be open when you guys come off number eighteen.”
“Aw you playin’ today, Poke Chop?” YouWho asked. The Japanese businessman had arrived late and missed the luncheon conversation.
“Nah, Pops and I are going spend some time in here then go to lunch.”
“You be goin’ to Happy Peking by any chance?”
Pork Chop laughed.
“No, no, not today. We have bigger plans than that.”
“Dey got plenty of new surprises on menu. You need twy da shwedded poke wit’ sautéed wed peppa an’ gawlic. It come wit’ quispy seaweed.”
“I don’t think my stomach would go for that.”
“Dey put sushi on da menu and have sliced eel an’ octipi.”
“The only pie that I’ll have is cherry.” Pork Chop glanced at Fred. When it came to food those two liked their red meat and potatoes. Then he chuckled.
“Or some of that apple pie that Julie brings in here once in a while,” Fred said as he rubbed his hand across his flat top. “Come on, guys. Let’s get a move on it.” He gave a shove to move across the leather seat of the booth then took a deep sigh to catch his breath for the push up from the sitting position. Ten bodies headed out the door.
Shae was as cute as always. Her dark hair was cut just below her ears and she had a habit of taking her hand and tucking it behind them. On top of her head was a yellow cotton band. She bunched hair on the top of her head, wrapped the band around it and had a tuft of hair that shot up then cascaded down. It was unique and definitely set her apart from girls her age. She succeeded in conveying an act of self-expression that differentiated her look from the others.
Carla was as plain and bland as the first day she set foot on the golf course property. She either didn’t care or she needed a cram course at a finishing school. Someone needed to tell her that a little blush, eye liner and lip gloss would highlight her attributes. But as it stood she merely provided background noise and blended in with the wallpaper.
Aieshia on the other hand took control. She had the size, demeanor and personality to smack anyone down to size that back-talked to her. She wore her standard attire… blue jeans and a sweatshirt with the sleeves pulled up on her forearms. On this day ARKANSAS was festooned across the front. Thered letters matched the color of her lipstick.
BowTye had a wet rag and wiped down the tables after the guys left for the course. As the clubhouse attendant he helped out where he was needed. If it was helping Julie, shining shoes, cleaning restrooms or performing parking lot duties he seemed to always be in the right spot. He was forever grateful to J Dub and Curt for helping him out after the hurricane wiped him out in New Orleans. The move to the St. Louis area was up the Mississippi but not too foreign to him since he had worked a lot of the river towns.