by James Ross
CHAPTER 46
J Dub walked out the front door to get some fresh air. He watched as Pudge waddled to his car. The guys were pulling into the parking lot. Doc had gotten in earlier. He was checking the traps he had placed to catch the squirrels. It wouldn’t be long before Aieshia drove up in the van with Pabby and Shae.
He had come to admire the pair of kids. There was something to say about the innocence and freshness they brought to the table. He didn’t want to trade places with them and have to face the uphill battles that they faced every day. Nor did he envy BowTye who had just rounded the corner on his bicycle and pulled up to the clubhouse. After being on top of the music world for years it had to be humbling to step back into near poverty.
“Got any gigs coming up?” J Dub asked as BowTye chained his bike to a fence post.
“Oh yeah. I’ll be playin’ ova at da Aqua Mermaid in da comin’ weeks and I tinks dat I’ll be at Da Digit wit’ Daddy Mac pretty soon too.”
“Let us know the dates. We’ll try to get the gang assembled and drop by to listen to you.”
“Yessir, Mista J Dub.”
Aieshia was right on time. The Footprints of Hope van pulled into the lot and the kids bounded out of the vehicle. As predicted Pabby was looking down to the ground taking steps that seemed to be longer than his legs would allow. Shae stayed on the ball of her right foot and limped to catch up.
“Hi, J Dub! You’re my buddy.” With head bowed Pabby stuck his stiff right arm out with a closed fist. J Dub tapped it.
“Where have you been?”
“Mrs. P said that I was in trouble.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing.”
“I can’t imagine that you got in trouble for doing nothing.”
“I did, but Skip did it.”
“Oh, so you were the fall guy.”
Pabby looked puzzled. “What’s that?”
“You took the blame.”
“Yeah, I guess. I got in trouble for it.”
“What did you do?”
“I told you. Nothing.”
“My fault. Ask a stupid question. Get a stupid response.”
“It wasn’t a stupid response.”
“My fault again. It was a figure of speech.” J Dub grinned. He was getting a kick out of being outsmarted. Pabby certainly reduced things to their simplest form. “Let’s start all over. What did you get blamed for?”
“Trying to watch a pay-for-view movie. But it wasn’t my fault. Skip grabbed the remote out of my hand.”
“What kind?” He had heard from Aieshia.
“Skip wanted to watch a dirty movie.”
“You better stay away from that stuff.”
“The TV room was signed out to me so I got blamed.”
“Then watch how you pick your friends.”
“I like Skip. He’s fun.”
“That’s fine. Just remember to think for yourself.” He looked over his shoulder. “Let’s go around back. I think Doc caught something in the trap.”
The pair walked around the corner of the clubhouse. Doc was hunched over one of the traps. “We got two squirrels—one in each trap.”
“You’re two for two catching them. That’s a better percentage than we’re having in court.”
“The squirrel belongs to the family of small to medium sized rodents called Sciurudae. The family includes ground squirrels, tree squirrels, chipmunks…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” J Dub interrupted. “I think that you’ve already told us about squirrels once before.”
“Look at this,” Doc said. “This guy had a rough night.” The trio peered at one of the squirrels. The head was wedged in the wire mesh. The rest of the animal had been eaten. “That fox must have been desperate. Those narrow snouts can get between these squares once in a while if they see an opportunity.”
“What happened?” Pabby asked.
“It looks like a hungry fox got to him,” He pointed. “See the matted fur around the cage?”
“The fox is an omnivorous mammal that belongs to the Canidae family. It is characterized by its long, narrow snout and bushy tail.”
“All the more reason it was easy to get to. See what I was talking about?”
“There are thirty-seven species of the fox but the most common and widespread one is the red fox.”
“I’ve seen him run around out here,” J Dub said.
“The fox is found on almost every continent. The presence of…”
“Alright, Pabby. Remind me to congratulate Aieshia when we get in on how well she has taught you about every living creature on the face of the earth.”
Doc picked up the cages. The other cage had a squirrel that was darting nervously back and forth. “Where do you want to dispose of these guys?”
“Let’s take the Gator down to the maintenance barn,” J Dub suggested. The threesome continued around the back of the clubhouse to the cart barn. Once there Doc threw the cages into the bed on the rear of the vehicle. J Dub hopped into the driver’s seat while Pabby stood next to the vehicle apprehensively.
“What’s wrong?” Doc asked the lad.
“I’m scared.”
“Of the squirrel?” J Dub asked.
“Yeah. Keep him away from me.”
Doc laughed. “He’s in a cage. He won’t hurt you.”
“He might get out.”
“He’s been in the cage all night. He can’t get out.”
“I don’t know. He might.”
“Then we’ll just do it here.”
“What?”
Doc took the cage with the living squirrel out of the back of the Gator and walked to the backside of the cart barn. He pulled a pellet pistol out of a holster, aimed through the wires of the cage and pulled the trigger. The squirrel scurried about the cage. “Dammit, I missed him.” He fired again. The second shot hit its mark. The squirrel lay dead. “Here you go J Dub. That’s two down. Maybe in a week or so we can put a dent into this family around here.”
“How many have you caught over at your home?”
“I killed two hundred and eighty-seven at my place last year. You don’t see too many of them around anymore.”
“Let’s hope that we don’t have to get that many around here,” the pro said.
“Just enough to keep them out of the attic. The pests tear up everything.” Doc holstered the gun. “I hate the bastards.”
“That’s kind of the same way I’m starting to feel about attorneys.” He looked at Doc. “And you’re one for two shooting today. That also is better than we’re doing in court.”
CHAPTER 47
“Pork Chop, are you ready to bet us today?” Doc was curious to see if his golfing buddy wanted to battle the not-so-secret weapon again. The guys had settled into their seats in the bleacher section at Hoof and Bridle Park. The first race on the card was thirty minutes away. That would give Pork Chop and Fred plenty of time to figure out which horses they wanted to bet on.
“Are you guys prepared in advance?”
“What do you think?” Doc answered. “We told Pabby a week ago that we would take him to the track today.” Doc waved the racing form and his cheat sheet.
“What about you, J Dub? Are you going to gamble with Doc?”
“Of course I am,” the pro said. “We didn’t go to all of this trouble to schedule a day at the track and not bet on the horses.”
Pork Chop turned to Fred. “We’d be idiots to bet against them today.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills as thick as a roll of toilet paper.
“You’re not going to bet all of that, are you?”
“You’re darn right I am.” His penny stock had come home years earlier and he couldn’t spend all that he had made in the stock market. “If we get a line on some winners I’m going to step to the window and put down some serious moolah.”
“Then my suggestion is to get rid of all of the tip sheets and follow Pabby’s picks. His system has been working
for weeks.”
“Doc, we’re on your side today!” Pork Chop announced. He had flyers labeled Picks by Pitz, Mack’s Magnetic Magic and Can’t Miss Chrome Quiz Kid. “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” Fred asked.
“I’ve got five and a quarter invested in these things. I was going to try and get a couple bucks from some stoolie.”
“You’ve got over four thousand in your pocket! Five dollars isn’t going to dent you.”
“I was thinking it would pay for some extra cheese on the nachos.”
“Get back here. I’ll cover you if you want some extra cheese. I’ll even get you some of those jalapeno peppers.”
Pork Chop settled back into his seat. “Alright, which pony do you guys like in the first race, Doc?”
Pabby had the racing form spread out on the bench in front of him. “Any changes?” Doc asked.
Pabby shook his head negatively. “Number four.”
“That’s Opryland Tonsils,” Doc confirmed. “How about the second race?”
Pabby flipped the page. He had circled number six. “This horse will win.” He turned to Doc. “If we win can we go to the winner’s circle to get closer?”
“Yes, I told you we’d go down and get close enough to touch them.” The vet turned to Pork Chop. “It’s Cleo’s Revenge in the second race. Bet the four-six Daily Double.”
“That’s got to be a winner!” Pork Chop yelled. “That was my football number.”
“What significance does that have?” J Dub asked. “Were you all-conference or something?”
“No, I got hurt.”
“Let’s hope that those numbers don’t produce a broken down horse for us today.”
“Dat number not bad luck at Happy Peking,” YouWho interjected. “Dat’s one of my favowites. Ova deh dat be Bang Bang Ji. Ooo wee. Dat’s a winna.”
While the guys yukked it up Pabby bowed his head, closed his eyes and stuck his stiff right arm forward with a closed fist. One by one the guys tapped it.
“How did you figure out the first race?” Pork Chop pried.
The teen grabbed the racing form and flipped the pages to the first race. His mind was keen and worked with computer-like precision. “This is the second race back for Opryland Tonsils. The horse is dropping down in class. It finishes strong. I love this horse in the first race at Hoof and Bridle Park.” The kid sounded like a professional handicapper on the satellite network.
“What about the second?” Fred asked. “What made you pick the six horse?”
Pabby flipped to the second race and studied the selections. “There are only four horses in this race with a chance to win. Look for Cleo’s Revenge to break early and get through traffic from the start. Catamaran is an experienced jockey with a good track record on this horse.”
“That’s Alley Cat!” Pork Chop interrupted.
“It has an excellent speed number and a nice combination of class and speed. Number six is the top entree in this field.”
Doc and J Dub practically drooled. They had finally found some inside information at the track. Pork Chop and Fred celebrated. Pabby’s picks gave them the assurance to load up on the races. “He sounds more legit than the inside info that Sal gives to Blue Howe,” J Dub said. The general manager of the track always provided hot tips to the elderly owner of Stub’s Missing Digit suggesting that something was fixed at the track.
“Aieshia, we’ll be back in a few minutes. Take good care of him.” The guys exited to get their picks in. Before they were ten feet away Pabby bowed his head and slumped. He fell asleep sitting up.
Fifteen minutes later the guys were back in their seats. “Whew, those lines were bizarre,” Pork Chop said. “It seems like everyone in town is over here today.”
“It almost makes you think that something fishy is going on in the first race,” Fred added.
“They wouldn’t do that here, would they?” J Dub asked facetiously. Questionable results were a staple at Hoof and Bridle Park.
“If it is fixed then it’s too late now,” Doc said. “Let’s get down to the fence and watch the race.”
“That’s easy for you to do,” Pork Chop replied. “You’re tall enough to see over everybody.”
“You don’t have the attention span to watch the whole race. Just glance up at the video screen.”
“The race will only last about forty seconds.”
“I know. Like I said, you don’t have the attention span for it.” Counting Carla and Shae, the group numbered sixteen. It was decided to put Pork Chop, Fred and Aieshia in front to bust through the throngs of people. If those behemoths couldn’t open a seam through the crowd then the group from Prairie Winds wasn’t going to make it to the rail.
The weather couldn’t have been more perfect. Scattered clouds dotted the deep blue sky. A slight breeze and low humidity made it feel like a day that should last forever.
“Next time Doc and Scottie P can do the dirty work,” Pork Chop said as the friends reached the fence that bordered the track. He had gotten flipped off by two patrons and wore half of a beer.
Fred had picked up some mustard from a hot dog on his shirt. “Dammit, this stuff doesn’t come out,” he said as he inspected the sleeve.
“Try some WD40,” Pork Chop suggested. “That gets everything.”
“I found dat hair spray always works,” Aieshia added. The field of horses paraded in front of them. Hoots and hollers followed.
“They’re beautiful,” Pabby said as the horses pranced twelve feet in front of him. “We’re going to get closer, right?”
Doc assured him once again. “If your horse…”
“Our horse,” Pork Chop interjected.
“If our horse wins then we’ll go down to the winner’s circle and even visit the paddock area.”
Five minutes later the statement hit close to home. Opryland Tonsils won by two lengths. “What did it go off at?” Pork Chop yelled as the guys high-fived each other. “What did it go off at?”
“Eight to one,” Doc said.
“I had four hundred bills on the Daily Double,” Pork Chop howled. He raised tickets in the air. “Plus I had him to win, place and show!” Pabby jumped in the air with his straight arms locked to his side. The guys tapped shoulders at the height of the jump.
“Stay off da basketball court,” Aieshia said. “None of you’s would reach da net.”
Pabby tugged at Doc’s arm. The vet gave a thumbs-up to J Dub. “We have a little walk to make.” As fans scattered in various directions the Prairie Winds crew strolled to the winner’s circle.
Opryland Tonsils raised its head and jerked it skyward for the camera. The jockey pumped his fist in the air. The owners flashed their pearly whites. After the brief ceremony the jockey jumped off the horse. The handler grabbed the reins and led it back to the stable. “Can I touch him?” Pabby asked as the horse approached.
Doc held his hand up to the trainer, requesting that they stop. “Nice race. You had him ready.”
The trainer winked. “Thank you.”
“You just made his day.” The pair looked as Pabby stroked the bridge of the horse’s nose. He reached up and patted the neck of Opryland Tonsils. The horse snorted and jerked his head skyward once again, clearly enjoying the attention. Pabby touched the snip which was the white marking on the nose.
A second later a prairie dog scampered out of the hedge and scooted toward the horse. Pabby jumped. “No, no, no! Get it away!” The horse reared. Pabby ran, flailing his arms. He bumped into Aieshia, bounced off Pork Chop and jumped onto a picnic table scaring the daylights out of the fans figuring up their next bets. He was panting and sweating.
“Pabby! Pabby! It’s alright,” Aieshia shouted as she approached the table to help. She reached up and offered her hand.
“Keep it away! Keep it away!”
J Dub and Doc were two steps behind. “We’re here. You’re safe,” J Dub assured the lad.
“Pabby, stop it!” Shae said as sh
e jumped up on top of the table and tried to help. It was taking all their efforts to calm him down. She affectionately slapped his forearm. “It’s just a little prairie dog, Pabby. You don’t have to be such a wuss about it.”
Pabby’s eyes scoured the ground. The comforting presence of the two older men soothed him. After apologizing to the spectators that sat at the table Doc extended his arm forward and offered his hand to help Pabby down. Apprehensively the teen inched to the side of the table. “You’re my buddy.” He reached out to J Dub like a toddler wanting to be picked up. The pro gathered him in his arms and hugged him. Pabby rested his head on his shoulder like a baby wanting to be rocked asleep.
“Are we going to be able to make it through the second race on this card?” Pork Chop asked. “We’ve got a lot riding on Cleo’s Revenge.”
“That’s a tough act to follow,” Captain Jer said. He pleaded with Julie to get some towels and slipped her a ten for some more beer.
As Pabby rested he spoke softly. “The prairie dog is a burrowing rodent native to the grasslands of North America. They are noted for their warning call which is similar to a dog’s bark. Most reach a size of between twelve to sixteen inches and weigh between one to three pounds.”
“It’s okay, Pabby,” Aieshia promised. She rubbed her hand through his hair.
“Prairie dogs live in colonies and a family consists of one male and from two to four females. They are very social and will greet each other with a kiss.”
“That’s good for now,” Aieshia said. She grabbed his hand and helped him to a seat on the picnic table bench after Doc slipped a few bucks to the others to go away for a race or two.
“The horses are on the track,” Pork Chop announced. “We’ve only got five minutes to the next post time.” Several of the guys moved down to the fence. “Come on six horse.”
“We’ll stay up here,” Doc said.
“We can’t see the tote board. What are his odds?”
Doc looked out to the infield. “Nine to two right now.” The guys had a lot riding on Cleo’s Revenge. The second half of the Daily Double appeared to offer a nice payday. Doc and J Dub hadn’t indicated how much they put down but it was widespread knowledge that they trusted Pabby’s picks.
Once Pabby had calmed down, J Dub took a moment to people watch. Just as interesting as the assortment of people was what they were wearing. He laughed to himself and wondered what some thought before they left the house. One lady had curlers in her hair! Some of the older guys hadn’t shaved in several days. Another needed a walker just to inch around.