by James Ross
He took a deep breath. The smell of popcorn filled his nostrils. Smoke from the concession stands carried news that bratwursts were cooking on the grille. Horse manure reminded him that they were in wide open spaces. The smell of lilacs delivered a floral scent.
“And they’re off!” the track announcer blared to snap him back to the present. “Cleo’s Revenge jumps out early!” The guys near the fence threw their arms into the air. “Followed by Peach Blossom, WindyCityBreeze and Uncle Theresa.” For all the crowd noise Pabby was sedate. He sat on the picnic bench looking at the ground while the crowd roared. Doc and J Dub were on the tips of their toes watching as the horses came off the final turn.
“Quaker State is putting on a late charge but coming into the homestretch it’s Cleo’s Revenge looking to go wire to wire!”
Pork Chop raised his arm in the air for Fred to slap his hand. “The kid is going to do it! Pabby picked them both!”
Doc glanced to his side and caught J Dub’s eye. He subtly gave him a thumbs-up sign.
“And at the wire it’s Cleo’s Revenge!” the announcer boomed. Pork Chop, Fred and the gang from Prairie Winds went berserk.
“Now let’s get to the window and cash these tickets before he sees a mouse or something,” Doc said to J Dub.
“The mouse is a small mammal belonging to the order of rodents. The most common is the house mouse. The rodent can be eaten by larger prey such as eagles and hawks. They can be harmful eating crops and spreading diseases.”
J Dub turned to Doc. “We need to get him out of here.”
“What did Sal say?” The vet wondered if they could get into the Turf Club. “We’re off to a good start. We can’t leave now.”
“Let’s gather the guys. He said that he’d have a table for us if we wanted to get some good food.”
“For sixteen?”
“A hundred dollar bill will get us anything we want. We have a few of those to pass around now.” The pro chuckled. “How big of a score did we make?”
“It has to be over five thousand.” Doc examined his tickets then he looked at Pork Chop and Fred dancing around like drunken revelers at Mardi Gras. “And I suppose those guys made a few bucks too.”
The group missed a race as they got organized and crammed into the elevator for the journey to the Turf Club. J Dub had used his cell phone and called ahead to Sal. The general manager was waiting for them as they reached the hostess stand. His dark brown eyes, bald head and unmistakable facial hair design were unique and made him stand out.
“Did you get something good for us, Sal?” Doc asked as he slipped him a C-note.
“You won’t be disappointed, my friend.” Sal led the party through the room. It was far lusher than anything the public golfers from Prairie Winds had expected when they awoke that morning. A well-padded carpet softened their steps. Table cloths, bottles of wine and closed circuit televisions on every table almost drove some of the guys back to the betting pit in the bowels of the track under the grandstand. They weren’t dressed for this special treatment nor were they used to it.
Sal set the group up at tables along the window. They were positioned between the finish line and the first turn. The buffet line was only ten yards away. A chef cut slivers off a slab of prime rib. Cocktail servers inundated the guys. Captain Jer was circling the wagons while Pork Chop and Fred were figuring up their winnings. Laughs, shouts and good old fashioned ribbing accompanied the friends.
“Make sure Pabby is comfortable,” Pork Chop shouted.
“Who does he like in the fourth race?” Fred added.
“I hope they fumigated the place,” J Dub whispered to Doc. “If something smaller than an M-O-U-S-E shows up he might jump out the window.”
Pabby had the racing form in front of him. “I don’t have a good feeling in the next race.” He turned to Doc. “Can I get something to eat?”
“You can have anything you’d like. What do you want to drink?”
Pabby looked at Aieshia. “Can I have a diet soda?”
“Yes, but only one. Ya know what Missus P says ’bout dat.” When the young cocktail girl appeared Pabby couldn’t take his eyes off her breasts. The push up bra caused her attributes to stick out of the top of her uniform.
Captain Jer elbowed Julie. “Maybe he’s normal after all.”
The sun was setting when the guys left after the last race. The tab was close to a thousand dollars. They didn’t mind. Many of them left with a lot more than what they had when they walked through the turnstiles.
CHAPTER 48
The banter continued the next day only the venue had changed from the Turf Club at Hoof and Bridle Park to the clubhouse at Prairie Winds Golf Course.
“Don’t you guys ever get tired of yourselves?” Julie asked as the guys congregated in the back booth.
“That’s like asking Captain Jer if he gets tired of drinking beer.”
“Or Pork Chop if he gets tired of eating.”
“If a husband and wife spent this much time together they’d be at each other’s throats,” Julie said.
“And that, my dear, is the main difference between being friends and being spouses,” Trot spouted.
“I don’t believe a word of it. You guys have to get tired of spending so much time together,” Julie said.
“It beats being at home going down the honey-do list the wrong way and being bitched at,” Captain Jer laughed. He stirred his Bloody Mary with a stalk of celery then raised the glass in a toast for the rest of the guys.
“Dammit, Jerry! All women aren’t that way.”
“I absolutely agree.” The retired pilot sipped his drink. “The ones that shave aren’t like that.” The guys laughed as Julie waved her hand at him in mock disgust. “Ask Scottie P if the priest bitches at him every morning.”
“You just haven’t taught her right. If she keeps that kind of attitude, there is a way to fix it,” Trot said.
“How’s that?” Julie asked as she took the bait.
“It’s easy,” the comedian continued, “you go grab the dog and throw him in the trunk and put your wife in there with him. Then you drive around the block a few times, stop and open it up. I guarantee you the dog will be happy to see you.” The guys roared. “She’ll learn to appreciate you like the dog does. She’ll get the hint. That will stop the bitching.”
“Trot, you are terrible. You’re going to rot in hell someday for saying things like that.”
“That reminds me. Did I tell you the one about…”
“Spare me. I don’t want to hear it.” Julie retreated to the office as the guys continued rambling.
J Dub looked up from the morning paper. “Did you guys see what the jury awarded to the victims in that vitamin lawsuit?”
“Yeah three hundred and fifty million,” Paul answered. “They’ll get a pittance. I had to laugh when I read that they were going to get thirty dollar gift certificates.”
J Dub snorted. “You saw where the rest of the money went.”
“The lawyers,” Elia said. “The crooks here are worse than they are in Beirut.”
J Dub turned the page and glanced at another article. “It says here that this guy got one hundred and twenty-three years for a string of armed robberies.” He read some more. “He took ninety-two thousand from some banks.”
“Who do you think the real crooks are?” Fred asked. “Do you think it is the guy with the gun or the lawyer and judge?” He rocked back and forth to get his weight moving in the right direction. It was easier for him to get up from the booth that way. With a grunt he rose to his feet. “One guy gets two lifetimes for ninety grand while the other guys get millions to fund their lifestyles.”
“And the real victims get coupons for more vitamins,” Captain Jer added.
“It’s not any different than the corporations and their management team,” Paul followed. “Those guys get their golden parachutes and perks to run the price per share up while the public gets raped by Wall Street. A few people might get
in on the run-up but most will lose their butts and will have to hold on for the market to come back.”
“What’s wrong with American justice?” J Dub asked. “The fat cats get fatter.”
“Money talks.”
“The law student that graded his own exam profits handsomely,” Trot blurted.
“Huh?”
“He’s the guy that became the judge.” The guys snickered.
“You know, I’ve got a little bit of interest in all of this,” J Dub said as his voice rose in intensity.
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know whether any of you knew it or not, but the course is being sued.”
“Really? What happened?”
“It’s by that guy that flipped the golf cart. His attorney is the same guy that represented those vitamin victims.”
“The ones that get coupons for crapping in their pants?” Captain Jer asked.
“Yeah. And the judge overseeing the case is the same one that announced the verdict.”
Captain Jer got up and walked over to BowTye. He rummaged through the shoeshine box, grabbed some Vaseline then walked to the counter and handed it to J Dub. “Here. Your ass is going to be chapped when everything is all said and done.”
A few nervous chuckles resulted until J Dub announced the seriousness of the ploy. “I need some help, guys. If all of you want to continue playing here we’re going to have to stick together and get to the bottom of what happened with that guy.”
The words had barely soaked in when the crew from Footprints of Hope barged through the door. The energy from Pabby and Shae brought a smile to everyone’s face. Pabby walked around the room with oversized steps, head bowed, eyes closed and a stiff right arm. He got a dozen fist taps in return. Shae limped around in his shadow, her yellow elastic band poofing up a tuft of hair on the top of her head. The dark rimmed glasses made her look studious.
“I was getting ready to post yesterday’s scores,” Fred said as he positioned himself in front of the scorecard that was tacked on the wall near BowTye’s corner. He handed the scorecards to BowTye. “Go ahead and read them off.”
With felt tipped pen in hand Fred marked the scores down as they were read. “An’ da last one is a ninety-eight from Captain Jer.” He put the cards down and examined the poster.
“That’s a surprise that he broke a hundred, isn’t it?” Julie asked upon her return from the office.
“Who asked you?” Jerry took a sip. “I was in a hurry to get to the track or it would have been lower.”
“Was it that or the second twelve-pack that was kicking in?” Julie knew how to get her digs in. She got an icy glare.
Fred kept his eyes on the scorecard. “We’re forgetting one, aren’t we?”
Pabby shook his head in agreement. His round face and hollow eyes couldn’t hide his excitement. “Mine!”
“What did you accomplish yesterday?” Fred asked.
Pabby hurried over to Doc and grabbed the racing form. He flipped through the pages and ran out of fingers as he counted his winners. Then he started again. “I had six of them!”
“Yes you did!” Fred agreed. “How many points does that give you?”
“Eighteen!”
Fred marked the score on the card. “Who is the big winner from yesterday?”
“Me!” Pabby was all grins.
“You might think so,” Captain Jer mumbled under his breath, “but I think Doc and J Dub cleaned up pretty good.”
“And don’t forget Pork Chop,” the portly one added. He put a stiff arm with a closed fist out in the air for Pabby to tap.
“We got together and got you a gift,” Doc announced to Pabby. He reached into his pocket and peeled off several bills for his little buddy but handed them to J Dub. “You can’t have this, but J Dub will hold them for you.”
Pabby shook his head negatively. “No, I just want a buddy.” He smiled but Shae stuck out her lower lip, hurt.
“We didn’t forget about you,” Captain Jer said. He reached into a bag at the base of his feet. “Here are some bands for your hair.” He produced one-inch thick cotton bands in neon green, pink, orange and yellow. Shae grinned in appreciation and nervously twirled her finger in her hair. “And we thought that you were becoming quite the young lady.” He handed her a makeup kit. “Tomorrow we want to see what you look like with a little eye makeup, blush, and fresh nail polish.” Shae beamed a look of surprise at Carla and hurriedly took the kit to an open table. She opened the box, examined her face in the interior mirror and started through the various colors. “What do you say?” Carla prompted.
“Thank you! Thank you. Thank you.”
“Jerry, you never cease to amaze me,” Julie said. “I guess you want another drink for all of your thoughtfulness.”
“What took you so long?” He raised his empty glass in the air. As Julie prepared another Bloody Mary the mailman came through the door with a package. He dropped the letters on the counter and indicated that he needed a signature for the box. “Sign for that, Julie.” J Dub instructed. “I know what it is.”
With drink in hand she hurriedly wrote her autograph as the mailman placed the package behind the counter. “See you tomorrow, Ralph.”
CHAPTER 49
barrydebohn: I see ur online
kittypurrs4u: yeah
barrydebohn: going to stay for a while?
kittypurrs4u: maybe
barrydebohn: stop being like that
kittypurrs4u: how
barrydebohn: evasive
kittypurrs4u: I wasn’t
barrydebohn: what do the women say? Whatever
kittypurrs4u: I was going to the hot tub room
barrydebohn: what’s happening there
kittypurrs4u: stiffnslide wanted to chat
barrydebohn: another new one?
kittypurrs4u: sort of. We’ve been chatting some
barrydebohn: is he local
kittypurrs4u: nah. Indy but he said he’d come for a visit
barrydebohn: with what u offer they all say that
kittypurrs4u: teehee
barrydebohn: you’re a hot commodity
kittypurrs4u: do you think so?
barrydebohn: from what I can tell
kittypurrs4u: ty. Whats got u in a good mood
barrydebohn: I’m always like this
kittypurrs4u: ur so sweet
barrydebohn: my turn to ty. I want to hear the end of ur story
kittypurrs4u: which one
barrydebohn: the night u met Stud. The kids just woke up
kittypurrs4u: ooooh. That was almost a disaster
kittypurrs4u: she was sleeping on the couch with her bf
barrydebohn: her bf?
kittypurrs4u: boyfriend
barrydebohn: that’s right. You told me that before
kittypurrs4u: the kids were crying
barrydebohn: you said that
barrydebohn: u are in bed w a guy in his house
kittypurrs4u: yeah
barrydebohn: w his wife and kids in different rooms?
kittypurrs4u: yeah
barrydebohn: are you nuts?
kittypurrs4u: no. what’s wrong w that?
barrydebohn: you said it was almost a disaster
kittypurrs4u: yeah. she’s nuts
barrydebohn: she’s nuts? Don’t u think u might be too
kittypurrs4u: no. stud wanted me. I was w him
barrydebohn: but he’s married!
kittypurrs4u: and they’re separated
barrydebohn: how can they be separated when his wife is there?
kittypurrs4u: cuz they’re getting a divorce
barrydebohn: ur logic is screwed up
kittypurrs4u: now I know
barrydebohn: now? What happened?
kittypurrs4u: she came in on us
barrydebohn: rightfully so
kittypurrs4u: but she had a butcher knife
barrydebohn: what!
kittypurrs4u: she h
ad a butcher knife
barrydebohn: that’s no good
kittypurrs4u: no shit!
barrydebohn: did she come after you?
kittypurrs4u: I saw her coming and jumped off the bed
kittypurrs4u: she didn’t want me
kittypurrs4u: she went after stud
barrydebohn: what did u do
kittypurrs4u: got in the closet
barrydebohn: the closet? That can’t be safe
barrydebohn: why not run out of the room?
kittypurrs4u: her bf was out there w the kids
kittypurrs4u: she was yelling that she was going to kill him
barrydebohn: so now it’s a big scene
kittypurrs4u: duh
kittypurrs4u: but I felt so safe w stud
barrydebohn: while he fought for his life?
kittypurrs4u: not really
barrydebohn: huh? She was coming after him w a knife
kittypurrs4u: he started laughing
barrydebohn: what
kittypurrs4u: he put his hand up and caught her arm
barrydebohn: good boy
kittypurrs4u: I was so proud of him
kittypurrs4u: then he pushed her off the bed
kittypurrs4u: and told her to go back to her bf
barrydebohn: and not come back w a gun I guess
kittypurrs4u: no he told her the kids wanted her
barrydebohn: of course
kittypurrs4u: so I came out of the closet
barrydebohn: when she was in the room?
kittypurrs4u: yeah.
kittypurrs4u: and that’s when it happened
barrydebohn: what now?
kittypurrs4u: she hugged me
barrydebohn: of course. Why didn’t I know
kittypurrs4u: I didn’t know either
barrydebohn: know what
kittypurrs4u: how they were
barrydebohn: of course not. U needed a place to park ur bike
barrydebohn: and a comfortable bed
barrydebohn: and
kittypurrs4u: are u making fun of me