Hollow Sight

by Kristie Pierce

  “Oh, he’s new. Moved here from England or something.” I explain shrugging my shoulders. I don’t want to seem like I’d paid attention to specifics. “He’s in my math class.”

  “Is he in your grade?”

  “I think so. I’m not really sure.” Then I realize that I’m not sure.

  We’re quiet as I drive out into traffic and head toward the pizza parlor. Axel is rarely silent, only when he’s really deliberating something – or plotting his next mischievous scheme. His silence makes me nervous.

  “I bet’chya he’s gonna have all the girls after him,” he finally says. “New meat on the chopping block. He looks like a pretty boy, too. High maintenance for sure,” Axel finishes as we come to a stop light.

  “Why does it matter to you? Are you planning on asking him out?” I ask sarcastically. Mostly though, I ask to take the attention away from me.

  “Ha ha. I’m not, but someone else might be thinking about it…” he trails off suggestively.

  Crap. What brought this on? Did he realize that Liam was the reason for my smile earlier and is making some kind of sly attempt to get me to admit that? I don’t answer. It isn’t like Axel to be so observant.

  We make it to the restaurant and it’s quite crowded. We have to wait for a seat and as we are being ushered by the hostess, I notice a large crowd of boys from my class seated in a corner booth that barely seat them all. I don’t pay attention to who specifically is in the group, but it’s hard not to hear them. They’re talking very loudly with one another, each getting louder with every passing sentence. It’s as if they’re trying to outshine one another in the irritating department. I try to tune out their noisy conversation. My ears are starting to ring.

  “Don’t ever be that obnoxious,” I mutter to Axel, scowling.

  He laughs. “No promises. I think it’s in our DNA.”

  “Someone should try to figure out how to wipe that particular strand of DNA out.”

  He shoots me a sly smile and then begins to read the menu. The waitress comes after a few moments and takes our orders and our food is served to us surprisingly shortly after. I thought we’d have to wait longer being they are so busy. Axel eats like he hasn’t seen food – well ever – as he mows down almost an entire large pizza, mozzarella sticks, and downs three Pepsi’s. I listen to him earnestly as he speaks in between bites of his teachers and the classes he’s been assigned. He has already found the time to plan a tee-peeing trip with his friends and the target is his science teacher who has already issued him a detention. It is so Axel to get reprimanded on the first day of school.

  Time is easily spent with Axel. I explain my class line up too, and about my less than functional locker. I don’t mention the friendly tip I had received from Liam. When we’re finished, the waitress produces our check and I pay. It doesn’t bother me to take care of him. He objects, so I agree to let him pay the next time. I don’t have that much in the way of money either, but Elly has agreed to still give me an allowance for all the help I provide around the house since school and practice take up the time I’d spend at a job.

  On our way toward the door, a booming voice yells in our direction.

  “Breckin Nicolai! Aren’t you going to come say hello? Your mama taught you better than that. C’mon Axel, bring ‘er over here!”

  Axel and I turn, and I realize that the voice is coming from the corner table that possesses the obnoxious crowd I’d been trying so hard to ignore.

  “Come on over and meet someone!” It’s Chad Dawson calling us.

  Chad is a senior, too. He is fairly cute in my opinion, with his short brown hair, average blue eyes, and sharp jaw line. He has always been a part of the popular crowd. He’s on the varsity football team with Axel, and in winter months he’s a star player on the basketball team. If all that weren’t enough, Chad holds three school records for track and field. I have to admit though, he is one of the nicer jocks our school has acquired over the years, and I’ve gotten to know him quite well being he’s also my swim coach’s son. And every year throughout high school, he and I have usually shared a class or two together – not a hard thing to do with such a diminutively sized school.

  Axel eagerly walks us over to their table, dragging me by the hand. He’s thrilled to have the invite, but I let my feet drag as he pulls me forward. I can only imagine a razz is behind the invitation. High school boys are so typical and usually not very nice when hurdled into a large group like this.

  Axel makes it there before I do after he’s graciously let go of my hand. But as I approach, my stomach suddenly does a nosedive and then invades with a swarm of butterflies. My eyes lock with the tropical color of his and I swallow down the lump in my throat. My cheeks heat and I have to fight to hold back my smile. I cannot let anyone notice that I’m thrilled to see him. I can’t even understand the reason behind the exhilaration.

  Liam is seated toward the back of the booth. Directly across from where I now stand and it’s hard to look away from his intense gaze. He has one arm laid across the back of the booth, sitting much like he did today in class. Casual. His hair is back into the scattered mess he wore during school and he wears a simple black T-shirt now that highlights every muscle and contour of his chest. I can’t understand the expression on his face, however. It’s almost as if he’s arguing with himself internally or trying very hard to make a decision about something. He looks somewhat bewildered and there is that same hint of fear shadowed behind his eyes.

  “Breckin, this is Liam Francis,” Chad begins while gesturing to Liam with his thumb. “He moved here over the summer from, err…”

  “Oxford,” Liam says with a slight smile, his face smoothing from his previous expression.

  “Right. Sorry, man. I was just explaining to him that my mom thinks the girls’ swim team has a real shot at winning Regional’s this year, and then I saw you on your way out,” Chad says while waving toward the exit. “She’s a pretty good addition to the relay,” he finishes, turning to Liam.

  “Breckin is dating, Ben. He graduated last year.” Axel abruptly chimes in. Everyone stops to stare at him, clearly not knowing what to think of his sudden outburst.

  I want to put my small hands around Axel’s much bigger neck and choke the life out of him. I settle for mashing my lips together into a line.

  “He’s away at college but comes home on the weekends.” Axel explains with a slight edge to his voice. I think it sounded more like a warning rather than an explanation, though.

  Liam never looks away from me. He only slightly inclines his head in Axel and Chad’s direction, nodding once, signifying he’s heard them.

  I finally manage to escape Liam’s hypnotic eyes. “We should be going, Axel. I don’t want to get you home late.” I say quietly, as I shove my hands into my pockets and look down to the floor.

  The already loud gang of jocks are now roaring with laughter as one mock punches Axel in the arm.

  “Must be nice to have a chauffeur!” one of them bellows. I don’t pay attention to who it is. I just want to leave. Now.

  Liam is still looking at me, but it doesn’t bother me perhaps like it should. His expression is now almost…longing? No, I must be perceiving it wrong. No one ever looks at me the way he is now, so I’m having a hard time understanding it. He’s definitely curious, though.

  “See you at practice, guys!” Axel yells over his shoulder as he yanks me around by my arm.

  It’s a quiet drive home. Too quite. All that makes noise is the rumble of my exhaust and the squeaking sound my brakes make whenever I stop.

  I drop Axel off at his house and back out of the drive. Just then my cell phone rings. I glance at the caller ID and raise an annoyed eyebrow.

  “Hello,” I answer quietly.

  “Hey, Kenny! How was your day?” Ben asks. Good God, he’s loud.

  I hate it when he calls me Kenny. I roll my eyes. I don't even get why he calls me that. Where the hell in my name did he come up with Kenny? It makes no sen
se to me.

  “It was fine. I got a crappy locker again. Figures. How was your day?”

  “Really great. I think I’m going to like it here. My roommate is hilarious.” Ben says as he then goes into a detailed description of his day. Stop talking, I don’t care.

  As I listen, I began to question if his voice has always irritated me like this before. I’ve actually been thinking a lot about our relationship lately. Ben was the first boy to hold my hand, my first real kiss, first love (if you call it that). I used to get excited when I heard his voice, although it was never an excitement like my girlfriends had described when talking of their boyfriends. I’ve never felt the stomach churning, blood boiling, lose your breath feelings that I’d often heard about. I’ve always known deep down however, that he and I would never be together forever, even from the beginning of our relationship – if that’s possible to know then at fifteen. He isn’t someone I see myself being with in ten or twenty years. I am honestly having a difficult time picturing the next ten days with him. I’m not in love with him anymore – if I ever really was. It’s a decision I had made toward the end of summer; to terminate our already nonexistent relationship. I just can’t bring myself to break his heart, although he has broken mine time and time again. I hate myself for allowing my feelings to be hurt so easily and to feel so vulnerable. Especially over something so ridiculous as a boy.

  As I listen to him babble, I drive up over a large hill. I naturally slow at this point in my journey because Amish buggies can appear out of nowhere – a habit I’ve learned from my mother. It’s almost dark now, but as I come to the top of the hill, I see a figure standing directly in the middle of my lane. My headlights shine on this person for just a few seconds, but it’s enough to make me swerve and lose control of the vehicle. I drop the phone, grasp the steering wheel with white knuckles, and try slamming on the brakes. Instead of coming to a complete stop, my Bronco veers into the gravel off the side of the road, causing it to wildly fish tail and I scream as I endeavor to correct my course. Several hundred feet later and a sudden drop into the ditch, I stall out inches away from an electric wire fence. A cow is staring back at me, idly chewing on a piece of hay looking completely bored by what it has just witnessed. I sit wide eyed and frozen for a moment, and then Ben’s erratic voice overtakes the ringing in my ears.

  “… BRECKIN! HELLO!”

  I find the phone that is now by my feet and in a weak voice answer him. “I’m okay. I must’ve hit some loose stones or something.”

  “Where are you? Do I need to send my dad? Can you drive?” Ben asks in a panicked tone.

  “I’m fine. No, I’m almost home anyway… I’ll just call my mom. I’m okay to drive, but I’m not sure about my truck... I have to go.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay? I can call my dad, he can come see –”

  “No, I’m fine,” I say again to cut him off. “I’m two minutes away from my house. My mom can drive down. We can call a tow truck if we need to. I’ll call you tomorrow. G'bye.”

  I’m probably being rude, but now that my brain is working again I want to see who was standing so stupidly in the middle of the road. I hit the end button on my phone, cut off eye contact with the cow, and get out of the truck. I trip over some sticks, scratching my shins as I land in some brush. Luckily I catch myself on the door frame before I am able to injure myself further. I don’t see anyone now and surely anyone with a conscience would have come to check and see if I was all right.

  “Hello?” I call.

  No one answers except for the cow. It lets out a low moooooo to answer me.

  “I wasn’t talking to you, beast.”

  And I hadn’t realized it – probably from the adrenaline rush – but now I’m scared for a reason I don’t understand. The hairs on my neck and arms are standing on end while my breathing has become just short of hyperventilation. The temperature in the air has to be close to a warm eighty degrees, but I swear that I can see my breath in front of me. A tiny voice in the back of my head is telling me to jump back into the Bronco, and with a start I realize that my headlights had not shown on the figure, but the white band of light had actually shown through them. Just then, Sera is at my side and I feel relieved to have her here now.

  “You should leave, Breckin.” Sera says sternly as I fight back my panic attack. She’s looking in the direction I had just seen the transparent figure a moment ago with a look in her eye that makes me feel not-so-good about what had just happened.

  I awkwardly climb back into the driver’s seat obeying her orders and pray that my gal is capable of reversing out of the tiny ditch. I have handled less appealing driving conditions before, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get her to start. Luckily she does, but I have to put her in reverse and then into first, going back and forth between the two gears a few times before the tires finally catch enough tread to get me going. I drive quicker than normal so it only takes a couple of minutes to get to the house. I just want to be inside the comforts of my own home.

  I pull into the drive and hit the button on the tiny square remote hanging from the sun visor to open the garage door. Before I can turn the engine off I am already pushing the button again to close the door behind me. I quickly gather my bag and still-wet school issued swimsuit and rush to get inside the house.

  “Hey, honey. How was your day?” Elly asks as I clamber up the three stairs to the kitchen. She has her back to me. I try to calm myself, fearing she will hear the panic in my voice when I answer.

  “It went well. I was lucky enough not to have any homework.” I say. I hope I don’t sound as shaky as I feel. I realize my face hasn’t smoothed and will probably give me away if she turns around.

  “Don’t get used to that!” she says laughing as she turns to face me. Elly then looks at me and her expression transforms from humor to concern in an instant. She knows me well enough to see that I am doing a poor job of hiding my feelings. I obviously haven’t done a convincing enough job. “What’s wrong? Tell me what happened,” she commands.

  I look down to the floor and quickly try to decide whether the truth will be best or if I should tell a white lie – not that she’ll believe me anyway. Elly knows of course about my gift as Sera had once put it – I keep nothing from her. I don’t like having secrets from my mom anyway. It makes me anxious and feel guilty. When I explained to her one day that the “imaginary” friend she’d once been introduced to still came to see me – that I’d been able to see her all my life – she didn’t seem shaken. Elly’s response was simple; “I had a feeling that she wasn’t imaginary.” Then she asked one question; “Can you see anyone else?”

  Of course I could. Of course I still can. But it’s not all the time and not everyone comes to me in a clear vision and it is usually when I am not at all prepared for it. Just like the image I’d just witnessed on the shoulder of the dark road. I tremble, remembering.

  “Tell me what happened, Breckin!” She’s worried now.

  “Nothing. It was stupid, really. I caught a glimpse of something… or someone. It… or they… were standing in the road and I thought I was going to hit it… or them. I didn’t realize that they weren’t… that is wasn’t a real person.” My last sentence sounds like more of a question.

  She deliberates for a minute and then replies while rubbing her hands on the tops of my arms. “I guess that’d probably scare the crap out of you, now wouldn’t it? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Just a little shaken up. I’m not sure about the Bronco, though. I veered off into the ditch.”

  “We’ll worry about that in the morning. As long as you’re all right, that’s all I care.” She replies while still clearly alarmed.

  She hugs me tightly for a moment and then lets me go. It has been a long day and now that I am safely home, the exhaustion hits me like a freight train.

  “I’m going to bed. I’m pretty tired. Guess my lazy butt isn’t used to being so busy all day,” I say in an effort to joke off the situati
on. My voice still sounds shaky.

  Elly can see that I really am fine and she’s believed my story without any doubt. “Okay, good night then. I’ll see you in the morning,” she replies while kissing my forehead. “Are you sure you don’t want any dinner?”

  “No, I ate with Axel. Sorry, I should’ve called. Slipped my mind I guess.”

  Elly nods. “That’s okay, you’re a big girl. I always trust that you’re all right and minding your P’s and Q’s.” She then blows me a kiss and smiles.

  I walk to my room and shut the door and undress quickly to change into a tank top and a pair of thin cotton shorts. I barely remember brushing my teeth and as I crawl into bed, Abigail comes to lay silently on the floor. I’m able to shove the foggy image of the unknown figure to the back of my mind. It isn’t the first time that I’ve been caught off guard by a ghost and it certainly will not be the last. I just hope tonight that I won’t be kept awake by one or more of them trying to communicate with me. I am better at shutting that part of my ability off when I’m awake. I lay, looking at the glowing plastic stars I had taped to my ceiling when I was eight and envision patterns in them. As I drift off to sleep, Liam pops into my head. I smile in the dark at the memory of his face and his eyes and hope that I will have sweet dreams instead of ghostly nightmares.

  Chapter Three

  To my disappointment, Liam did not star in my dreams. Actually I didn’t dream at all, although that is no surprise being I rarely dream at night. I tend to daydream instead.

  I struggle to get out of bed just like the day before, but I try to move faster this morning. The granola bar hadn’t held me yesterday and I was starving when it had finally come time for lunch. I shower quickly and internally scold myself when I stand in front of my closet again trying to figure out what to put on. I must remember to lay out an outfit tonight.

  It’s raining and still hot today. I don’t even try to dry my hair out all the way. I dry it just enough so that it doesn’t soak the back of my shirt. I carefully place a few bobby pins in the very top portion of my hair to keep it out of my face and push the stack forward a bit, giving it a poof-up effect, and then let the rest lay in a wavy mess against my back. Humidity and wavy hair do not mix and I never win, so why try?