Elusive Lover

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘I see,’ she bit her lip. ‘I—If you don’t mind I think I’ll go to my room.’

  ‘Erin——’

  She didn’t heed Martha’s distressed cry, shutting herself in the bedroom they had given her for her stay. Why couldn’t she accept, once and for all, that Josh just didn’t want her around, not even during this crisis?

  The next two days seemed endless as they waited for word that the wind had changed or that they had to leave the ranch.

  On the third day Jim returned at lunch-time dirty and dishevelled as usual, but with a boyish grin to his dirt- covered features. ‘It’s finished!’ he cried, swinging Martha round in his arms excitedly. ‘The fire’s out!’

  ‘I—But how?’ Erin had come through to the kitchen as soon as she heard Jim’s unexpected arrival.

  ‘For once the weathermen were right, the wind changed more or less on time. When it hit the dug-out area it just started to go out,’ Jim explained. ‘It’s just about over now.’

  ‘Oh, thank God!’ she sighed her relief. ‘Josh . . .?’

  ‘He’s fine,’ the other man reassured her. ‘Tired, like me, but otherwise fine.’

  ‘When can I go to the bungalow?’ she asked excitedly. ‘I realise Josh probably wanted to sleep right now, but he’ll be coming for me after dinner, won’t he?’

  ‘Er——’

  She hid her disappointment, seeing denial in Jim’s face.

  ‘Tomorrow morning will do as well. I——’

  ‘Erin,’ Jim got her attention, ‘Josh isn’t coming for you at all.’

  ‘Not coming?’ she blinked dazedly. ‘Then you’re going to take me back—aren’t you?’ The last came out weakly as Jim shook his head. ‘Why aren’t you?’ she asked dully.

  ‘Josh thinks it would be better if you stayed here,’ he told her gently. ‘He——’

  ‘He doesn’t want me with him.’ She straightened her shoulders as if warding off a blow. ‘Right, I’ll stay at a motel in town.’

  ‘You most certainly will not,’ Martha said indignantly. ‘I won’t hear of it!’

  ‘Neither will I,’ Jim put in firmly. ‘It isn’t a question of Josh not wanting you with him, Erin. He’s going to be helping them clear some of the mess the fire has caused, he won’t even be home half the time. And the other half he’ll be sleeping,’ he added as she went to protest. ‘If you leave here he’ll come looking for you,’ he warned.

  He would too. He would feel responsible for seeing she got back to England. It couldn’t be soon enough for her.

  By Saturday she had given up hope of seeing Josh before they went to England the next day, and then she found she was to see him after all.

  ‘Josh is coming to dinner tonight,’ Martha told her as she prepared the steaks for cooking.

  Colour instantly flooded Erin’s pale cheeks. ‘He is?’ She licked her lips nervously.

  ‘Mm. That will be nice, won’t it?’ Martha gave her an encouraging smile.

  Considering she hadn’t seen him for a week it would be more than ‘nice’! ‘I suppose so,’ Erin forced herself to sound casual.

  Not that Martha and Jim could be in any doubt as to her feelings towards Josh, that had been patently obvious by her preoccupation all week. The young couple had been very friendly, very kind, but she couldn’t help missing Josh.

  When she heard him arrive just after five she deliberately made herself linger in her bedroom. Martha and Jim might be aware of the fact that she loved Josh, but he certainly wasn’t going to know about it too!

  She walked into the lounge about ten minutes after she had heard him arrive, looking at him beneath lowered lashes. He looked just the same, so handsome he made her breath catch in her throat, although he looked tired too. The fire had exhausted both men; Erin had witnessed Jim’s weariness for herself, and Josh still looked tired, pale beneath the tan of his skin, lines of fatigue about his eyes.

  ‘You’re looking well,’ he told her huskily, his gaze lingering on her bare midriff, her shirt tied just below her breasts, the same pretty pink as the pink flowers in her black and pink wrap-around skirt, her bare feet thrust into low black sandals.

  ‘Thank you,’ she accepted. ‘I wish I could return the compliment. . .’

  His mouth twitched, and finally he smiled openly. ‘As honest as ever, I see.’

  ‘Of course.’ She sat down beside him on the sofa, while Martha and Jim suddenly excused themselves to go and cook the food on the barbecue.

  ‘I think they’re being tactful,’ Josh drawled, his arm resting lightly along the back of the sofa.

  ‘Really?’ Erin feigned uninterest. ‘I can’t imagine why.’

  ‘Can’t you?’ His voice was husky.

  ‘No.’ She gave a casual shrug and stood up. ‘I’ll go and help Martha. I’m sure you and Jim must have plenty to talk about.’

  His eyes narrowed as he looked up at her. ‘And we don’t?’

  ‘Not that I know of,’ she replied coolly. ‘Sheba’s outside, by the way.’

  He nodded. ‘I saw her on the way in. She looks well. You did a good job of taking care of her.’

  ‘I didn’t——’

  ‘Jim told me she’s rarely left your side.’

  ‘She missed you,’ Erin shrugged.

  ‘And you, did you miss me?’

  ‘At first I suppose I did.’ She made herself smile, determined Josh wouldn’t know she had stupidly fallen in love with him. ‘But Martha and Jim are such good company that I soon got over it.’

  His expression was harsh. ‘You’ll be glad to leave tomorrow, then,’ he ground out.

  She swallowed hard. ‘It will be nice to see England again,’ she evaded, knowing that tomorrow would be the end as far as they were concerned.

  ‘Then we’ll have to make sure you take home one last good memory of Canada,’ Josh said grimly. ‘As Dave told you, the Calgary Stampede isn’t to be missed.’

  Erin licked her lips nervously. ‘We’re going to the Stampede?’

  ‘Tonight,’ he nodded.

  ‘I—I didn’t know.’

  He shrugged. ‘I wasn’t sure I could make it, so I told Martha and Jim not to mention it to you,’

  ‘Like you told them not to tell me about the fire,’ she recalled bitterly.

  ‘I had no idea what your reaction would be——’

  ‘I’m not the hysterical type,’ she snapped. She drew in a deep, steadying breath. When Martha had told her Josh was coming here tonight she had decided that she wouldn’t become emotional. She wasn’t making a very good job of keeping to that decision! ‘Still, the Stampede will be nice,’ she added lightly.

  ‘I hope so,’ he said tersely.

  If she sparkled throughout the meal, talking and laughing happily, then Josh just became grimmer by the minute, scowling at them all by the time they had finished eating.

  ‘I’m looking forward to the Stampede,’ she told him eagerly as they drove into Calgary later that evening, Martha and Jim apparently having tickets to go later in the week.

  ‘So I gathered,’ Josh said dryly, very casually dressed in denims and a checked shirt, his hat pushed to the back of his black hair.

  Erin still wore her blouse and skirt, the evening very warm. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered, falling into a moody silence.

  It was a silence that neither of them seemed anxious to break, although Erin couldn’t help but be affected by everyone’s mood of enjoyment once they entered the Stampede Grounds where the Stampede was being held— people of all ages enjoying the infectious gaiety of the huge funfair, the sideshows, the numerous exhibitions of livestock, the chuckwagon racing about to take place in the Stadium itself.

  Josh took hold of her hand as they walked through the crowds of people, his height and breadth instantly making them a pathway. ‘We’re going to watch the chuckwagon racing first,’ he told her abruptly. ‘Then we’ll go round the fair and sideshows.’

  She felt sure the latter was for her, and she resented his condescen
sion. ‘I’m not a child,’ she snapped.

  ‘Maybe not, but I am, about funfairs,’ Josh grinned down at her. ‘Truce for tonight, Erin?’

  Her love for this man warred with her indignation of being left with his friends all week. Her love won. ‘Truce,’ she smiled up at him tremulously.

  ‘Good girl!’ He kissed her lightly on the nose.

  It might be the sort of affectionate gesture a brother would give a sister but nevertheless Erin hugged that kiss to her, laughing happily when Josh bought her one of the straw stetsons on sale at the kiosks at the fair.

  ‘Now you look like a native Calgarian,’ he smiled as he placed the hat on her blonde hair. ‘It suits you.’

  ‘Then why are you laughing?’

  ‘Because you look cute.’

  Warm pleasure shot through her body, although she still had the feeling of a child being humoured.

  The chuckwagon racing was exciting, as Dave had said it was, although Erin cringed a little as one of the wagons overturned, clutching anxiously at Josh’s arm.

  ‘It’s okay,’ his eyes were narrowed against the glare of the sun, ‘Lance will be all right, he knows how to get out of these tight situations. There,’ he pointed as the driver of the wagon rolled from underneath it, running to the side of the arena to avoid the pounding hooves as the four horses pulling the driverless wagon thundered out on to the circular racetrack into the path of the other three wagons in this heat. ‘He’s fine, probably a bit bruised, but otherwise all right.’

  ‘But the wagon——’

  ‘Will be stopped by the officials,’ Josh assured her.

  It was too. Lighter than the other wagons because of its lack of a driver, the blue-coloured wagon easily took the lead, headed off by two officials on horseback before it could hinder the other wagons, and pulled off to one side as the race continued.

  ‘You seem to know a lot about it,’ Erin said curiously.

  He shrugged. ‘I used to be one of the outriders.’

  Her eyes widened. The chuckwagon had to be loaded up with a stove and a tent before doing a figure eight around barrels, the stove and tent put into the wagon by the three outriders at the back, a fourth man holding the horses steady at the front of the wagon while trying to hold the reins of his own horse too. Once the wagon had been loaded the four outriders could get on their horses and follow behind the speeding wagon. And they didn’t always make it! She had seen a couple of them tumble to the ground, one of them seeming quite badly hurt as he clutched his trampled ribs.

  ‘Were you ever hurt?’ she asked worriedly.

  ‘Only once. I broke my arm.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘How?’

  ‘I went under the horse,’ Josh shrugged. ‘The next heat is about to start.’ He pointed as the four new wagons came out on to the track, ready to start the fifth of the eight heats.

  ‘I—I think I’ve seen enough,’ said Erin through stiff lips. ‘Could we go now?’

  Josh turned to her concernedly. ‘You’re very pale, aren’t you feeling well?’

  ‘I—No, I don’t think I am.’ The thought of him going under the pounding of a horse’s hoofs made her feel ill. He could have been killed!

  ‘Then of course we’ll leave.’ He took hold of her elbow and guided her out of the stadium. ‘Maybe a drink would make you feel better?’ he suggested once they were back outside.

  ‘Maybe,’ Erin nodded. ‘Perhaps a Coke or something?’ ‘Sure.’ He went to one of the kiosks, coming back with two huge paper cups.

  Erin sipped uninterestedly at the Coke. ‘Why did you become an outrider?’ she asked suddenly.

  Josh frowned. ‘Why did I——?’ He shrugged. ‘Jim’s father used to be one of the drivers, Jim and I would be two of his outriders.’

  ‘But why?’ she persisted.

  ‘Why not? It was fun, very exciting—and I got paid for it,’ he added with a smile. ‘I wasn’t always the affluent artist you see today,’ he taunted. ‘When I was a student I never had any money. Whenever we could Jim and I would ride for his father, and anyone else who could use us. Sometimes I earned fifty dollars a night. You can earn almost three times that much now.’

  ‘But it’s dangerous!’

  ‘Most of life is,’ he shrugged.

  ‘And Jim’s father, was he ever hurt?’

  Josh grimaced. ‘I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me that. About five years ago he crashed badly, breaking his pelvis and both his legs.’

  ‘He’s in a wheelchair . . .’ she shuddered.

  ‘Nothing as serious as that. He does have a limp, though. And it was because of his injuries that Jim’s mother pleaded with him to give it up. Hey,’ he chided, ‘are we here to enjoy ourselves or not? I thought you wanted to go round the sideshows.’

  ‘I do,’ she decided firmly. ‘Yes, I do.’ She threw her empty cup into a bin.

  ‘Feeling better now?’ Josh put a companionable arm about her shoulders.

  ‘Much.’ She gave a bright smile. ‘What are you going to win me first?’ She looked at the game sideshows, all of them displaying huge cuddly toys. But as she knew from experience, it was virtually impossible to win any of them.

  Josh grinned at her, looking relaxed and almost boyish. ‘If that’s a challenge, I accept.’

  ‘Go ahead,’ she smiled back.

  Much to her surprise he won her several of the smaller cuddly toys, the three and four-foot ones seeming out of reach, their fluffy gay colours inviting as they hung sus-pended from the kiosk roofs.

  ‘Never mind,’ Erin said happily, holding on to the four ridiculous toys Josh had already won her. ‘I don’t think I could carry any more anyway.’

  ‘But you wanted one, and I’m going to get you one if it takes all night,’ he said firmly.

  ‘No, Josh——’

  ‘Yes.’

  It didn’t take him all night, it took him about ten minutes to have the assistant untie one of the three-and-a- half-foot bears from the roof, handing it to Erin as she handed the smaller toys to Josh to carry, beaming her gratitude at him. No one had ever won her anything in her life, and she held on to it like a child with a cherished toy.

  ‘Did you enjoy your first Stampede?’ They walked slowly back to the side street where they had parked the truck.

  ‘I loved it,’ she glowed.

  ‘I’m glad. Although he looks more like an elephant than a bear with those huge ears.’ Josh teasingly eyed the cuddly toy it was taking Erin all her time to carry.

  ‘He doesn’t have a trunk,’ she defended indignantly.

  ‘Bears don’t have ears like that,’ Josh derided.

  She gave him an outraged look. ‘I think he’s lovely!’ He grinned. ‘I wonder what they’ll make of him at the airport tomorrow.’

  Her happiness suddenly evaporated. Tomorrow—tomorrow they flew to England.

  CHAPTER NINE

  MARTHA and Jim were still up when they got back to the ranch. ‘Goodness!’ Martha laughed as she saw Erin laden down with the toys. ‘I don’t need to ask if you had a good time!’

  ‘It was lovely,’ Erin confirmed.

  ‘Here,’ Josh held out some caramel popcorn to Martha, ‘I know you have a passion for it,’ he grinned.

  ‘Oh, thank you!’ She hugged him.

  ‘Are you trying to make my wife fat?’ Jim laughed as Martha gave him an indignant look. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll never be fat.’

  ‘Would anyone mind if I went to bed?’ Erin asked them. ‘I’m feeling rather tired.’ It had been an emotional evening, and now she just wanted to be alone.

  ‘I have to be going now,’ Josh answered her. ‘Come outside and see me off?’ he raised a questioning eyebrow.

  ‘I—Yes.’ She glanced at the expectant Martha and Jim. ‘Of course.’ Josh was obviously still keeping up a pretence in front of his friends, although after the way he had ignored her existence this last week it seemed a rather pointless exercise to her.

  ‘Did you really
enjoy yourself tonight?’ he asked as they stood next to the pick-up.

  She nodded. ‘It was fun.’

  ‘I’m glad.’ His hands lightly grasped her shoulders. ‘Good night, Erin. I’ll pick you up around ten in the morning.’ He kissed her lightly on the mouth. ‘Your last night in Canada. Not been a very happy stay for you, has it?’ he said ruefully, his forehead resting lightly on hers.

  How could she tell him she never wanted to leave, that she just wanted to stay here with him for the rest of her life? ‘Not very,’ she agreed huskily. ‘But you’ve been— kind.’

  ‘Kind, hell!’ he dismissed grimly. ‘You know damned well that I haven’t been kind at all, that I——’

  ‘I still don’t want to talk about the other night, Josh.’ She moved coolly away from him.

  ‘No, I don’t suppose you do,’ he sighed. ‘I don’t think I do either. I’ll see you in the morning.’

  ‘Yes.’ She turned and walked back into the house before he had even got into his truck.

  ‘Everything okay?’ Martha looked up from eating her popcorn.

  ‘Fine,’ Erin gave a jerky smile. ‘I—Goodnight,’ and she rushed from the room, wondering if there would ever come a time when the pain would stop.

  She was already in bed pretending to be asleep when Martha knocked softly on the door and came in. ‘Oh,’ she hesitated, ‘I didn’t realise. You seemed—upset?’

  Erin peered at her over the covers. ‘Just tired.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Sure,’ she nodded, not daring to say much in case her voice gave away her tears.

  ‘You and Josh haven’t—argued?’

  ‘No,’ she answered truthfully.

  ‘I don’t mean tonight, Erin,’ Martha came to sit on the side of the bed. ‘I meant before. It isn’t like Josh to ignore a guest, and——’

  ‘I’m not exactly a guest,’ Erin said dryly.

  The other girl’s cheeks coloured delicately. ‘I realised that. It’s just that——’

  ‘I would really rather not talk about it.’ Oh dear, she was beginning to sound like a record stuck in a groove! ‘All right,’ Martha stood up. ‘But—well, I’m sure that whatever it was Josh wished it had never happened.’