The Dead and the Gone ls-2

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  He made a special point of thanking Lather Mulrooney. How proud Mami would be to have a priest, the acting head of St. Vincent de Paul Academy, chaperoning her daughter’s party.

  “I’m glad you invited me, Alex,” Father Mulrooney replied. “It’s good to see young faces smiling again.”

  Julie certainly was smiling. Alex couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so happy, if she ever had. She’d been born scowling. But now her face was radiant with joy.

  “I brought a portable CD player,” Tony said. “I thought we might dance.”

  The four girls giggled. The boys pushed the furniture to the side of the room, creating a dance floor of sorts. The CD that Tony put on was filled with the music of the previous spring, songs that made Alex feel young again. James asked Julie to dance, Kevin asked Bri, Tony asked Brittany, and Alex asked Lauren. None of the boys were particularly good dancers, but the girls didn’t seem to mind. Alex had invited James and Tony not merely because they were two of the guys he was most friendly with but because they were two of the better-looking guys left in his school. Not that looks seemed to matter. With four boys and four girls, they all took turns dancing with each other. Even Lather Mulrooney got into the act, gamely dancing with Julie.

  “I’ll have you know I was quite the jitterbug in my youth,” Lather Mulrooney said. “It’s these modern, new-fangled dances like the waltz that take so much out of me.”

  “But the waltz isn’t modern,” Lauren said, “is it?”

  “No, my dear,” Father Mulrooney said. “That was just the excuse of an old man.”

  Bri had to stop dancing and use her inhaler. Alex worried she’d be self-conscious about it, but Tony said he also had’ asthma, and the two of them sat on the sofa and talked softly about it. Everyone had gotten so warm from the dancing and the body heat that they’d taken off their coats. Seeing Bri and Tony on the sofa sitting together, dressed as people used to dress, made Alex almost dizzy with nostalgia.

  “What we need are refreshments,” Kevin said, walking to the kitchen. “Does anyone here want a Coke?”

  “Coke?” the girls shrieked.

  “I’ll get the cups,” Bri said, and out of nowhere, it seemed, came paper cups.

  “They’re my contribution,” Tony said. “Paper goods, Kevin gave me my instructions, and I did exactly as I was told.”

  “I wish you’d do the same in Latin class,” Father Mulrooney grumbled, and everybody laughed.

  Kevin poured each of them a cupful of Coke. “To Julie,” he said. “May she have a life full of love and happiness.”

  Everyone raised their glasses and said, “To Julie.”

  Even though the Coke was warm, it was like the songs on Tony’s CD, a reminder of how life had been just a few-months back.

  “And now for something really special,” James said. “Well, I hope really special, but I make no guarantees.” He went into the kitchen and took a few moments before returning to the living room. When he did, he was carrying a birthday cake, blazing with fourteen birthday candles.

  “Happy birthday to you,” everyone sang. “Blow out the candles, Julie! Make a wish!”

  Julie closed her eyes tightly, then opened them and blew out the candles. It took her two or three attempts. Alex told himself it wasn’t because she was no longer strong, but because there were so many candles on her cake.

  “It’s chocolate cake,” Julie said, cutting into it. “Chocolate cake with chocolate icing. Oh, James, where did you find it?”

  “I didn’t exactly find it,” James said. “It’s just an old box of cake mix and a package of icing we had lying around. It was pretty exciting, actually. We have an electric oven, so it was just a case of the electricity staying on long enough to bake the cake, which it almost did yesterday. It may be a little soggy on the inside, but it was the best I could do.”

  “It’s the most beautiful birthday cake I ever had,” Julie said. “I can’t believe your family gave up a real cake.”

  Alex couldn’t believe it, either. He wondered how many pairs of shoes it had cost Kevin to get the cake mix and icing, and he appreciated how7 his friend had set things up so no one would think of the loss of life that simple, underbaked cake had cost.

  But one bite of chocolate cake made him stop thinking about death. It’s a miracle, he thought. Chocolate cake and Coke and music and seeing his sisters look young and beautiful were all miracles.

  “Tony brought the paper goods, and James brought the cake,” Kevin said. “So I brought the birthday present. Happy birthday, Julie. It’s not much, but I hope you’ll like it.” He handed her a small, oddly shaped package, wrapped in leftover Christmas paper.

  Julie unwrapped it as though the paper were solid gold. Under the wrapping was a layer of tissues, and lying in the tissues was a lipstick.

  “Oh my god!” the girls squealed. “Oh, Julie, it’s a perfect color. Oh, Julie, put it on.”

  Julie turned to Alex. “May I?” she asked.

  “Only if you dance one final dance with me,” he said.

  Julie ran to the bathroom, the girls following in her footsteps. Alex took the opportunity to thank James, Tony, and Kevin for making his sister’s birthday so special. They all acted as though it wasn’t a big deal, but Alex knew how important it was to Julie, to Bri, and to Julie’s friends. No matter what else happened to them, they had gone to a party and danced with real boys.

  Julie’s lips were a bright pink when she came out of the bathroom, and so were her cheeks. Alex bowed to her and escorted her onto the dance floor. James found a slow song, and Alex and Julie danced for a moment—until Kevin tapped him on the shoulder and cut in.

  “We’d better move the furniture back into place,” Father Mulrooney said when the song ended. “We don’t want to be out after curfew.”

  It only took a minute or two for the four boys to get things back in order. None of the cake was left, but there were still a couple of cans of Coke, which Kevin told them to keep.

  Tony said he’d walk Lauren home, since she lived only a couple of blocks away from him, and Kevin promised the same for Brittany. Both girls giggled some more as they hugged Julie good-bye. James, Tony, and Kevin all gave Julie-pecks on the cheek, causing another avalanche of giggles. Everyone put on coats, gloves, and scarves and went out into the icy-cold autumn night.

  Julie walked over first to Bri and then to Alex and embraced them. “This is the best birthday I ever had,” she told them. “When I say my prayers tonight, I’ll thank Maria, Madre de Cristo, for giving me the best brother and the best sister in the world, and for letting me be thirteen.”

  Chapter 12

  Monday, October 3

  As Alex walked toward his locker, he saw James and Tony standing there. Neither of them looked happy, and Alex worried immediately that something bad had happened because of the party.

  “We need to talk to you,” James said, which didn’t brighten Alex’s mood any.

  Tony looked almost pained. “We know things are rough for your family right now, and we don’t want to make things worse,” he said. “But I thought about it all weekend, and James talked to his dad, and at church yesterday we all had a conference, and we need to tell you something.”

  Alex’s mind raced through all the catastrophic possibilities. None made sense, except perhaps that he should be asked to leave Vincent de Paul. But he couldn’t think of any reason why. He clenched his fists and waited.

  “It’s about Briana,” Tony said. “Your sister.”

  “I know who Briana is,” Alex said.

  “Tony,” James said. “Here’s the thing, Alex. Bri has asthma, like Tony, and it isn’t good for her health to live in a basement apartment. We’re not saying you don’t keep it clean, because we’re sure you do. It’s just that basements grow mold, and nowadays with so much water around, that’s an even bigger problem.”

  Alex looked at his well-meaning friends. Tony, with his asthma, probably had never been in a basement before l
ast week. And James, son of a cardiologist, was a model of healthy living.

  “My mom says there are still some shelters open,” Tony said. “They’re under city supervision, and they’re still pretty safe.”

  “We’re not moving to a shelter,” Alex said. “But I’ll see what I can do about getting us out of the basement.”

  “We apologize for interfering,” James said. “If it were just you and Julie, we wouldn’t say anything. But we know you’re doing everything you can for your family, and Bri really needs to be moved out of the basement.”

  Alex nodded. Asthma was a whole new world for him, but not for Tony or James’s father. If they said Bri needed to get out of the basement, it would be sinful to let pride interfere with good judgment.

  Tuesday, October 4

  “Julie and I are skipping school tomorrow,” Alex announced over supper of elbow macaroni and marinara sauce.

  “We are?” Julie asked. “What about lunch?”

  “I can skip lunch tomorrow,” Bri said. “The two of you can share my meal.”

  “You eat lunch,” Alex said. He was already concerned that Bri wasn’t eating when he wasn’t around to supervise her. “Julie and I’ll manage.”

  “So why are we skipping school?” Julie asked.

  “We’re moving,” Alex said.

  “We can’t move!” Bri said. “If we move, Mami and Papi and Carlos won’t be able to find us.”

  “We’ll leave a note for them,” Alex said. “On the table where they’ll be sure to see it. We’re not moving far anyway. Just upstairs to apartment twelve B.”

  “What’s wrong with right here?” Julie asked. “All our stuff is here.”

  “I know,” Alex said. He’d spent much of the night trying to work out a system for moving all the things they’d taken from the other apartments up to 12B. Not to mention their clothes and their food. “That’s why we’re moving tomorrow. Wednesday’s usually a good day for electricity, so we’ll be able to move the stuff in the elevator. We’ll get Bri upstairs first, and then you and I will pack things and take them up. We’ll do the unloading, too. Bri can make sure doors stay open, stuff like that.”

  “I can help with the unloading,” Bri said.

  “No,” Alex said. “No lifting for you. Julie and I can do it without your help.”

  “How come you made a decision like that without talking to us about it?” Julie asked. “And why twelve B? Fourteen J is a two-bedroom.”

  “The guys in twelve B said we could use their place,” Alex said. “I feel more comfortable with us staying there. You and Bri can share the bedroom, and I’ll sleep in the living room. There’s probably a sofa bed, and if not, we’ll take a mattress from one of the other places and I’ll sleep on that. We’ll manage fine.”

  “If you think it’s best,” Bri said. “I just want to be more helpful.”

  “You’ll help with the unpacking,” Alex said. “Getting the food into the cabinets, things like that. Don’t worry, Bri. You’ll do your share.”

  “Do you think we’re going to be flooded?” Julie persisted. “Is that why we have to move upstairs?”

  Alex nodded. “It’s going to happen pretty soon,” he said. “And we’re better off getting all our stuff out of here while we can. Besides, we don’t know how much longer the electricity will last, and I don’t want to lug all our stuff up by stairs. So tomorrow’s moving day.”

  Bri smiled. “I prayed every night to come home and find you here,” she said. “But I guess home isn’t this apartment. It’s wherever you are.”

  “We’re not going anyplace,” Alex said. “Except up twelve flights.”

  Wednesday, October 5

  Alex begged forgiveness from God and Papi as he began hammering the nails needed to hold the doubled-over blankets they used for insulation in place over the windows of apartment 12B.

  “It figures,” Julie grumbled. “I finally move into a place with a view, and I’ll never get to look out again.”

  Monday, October 10

  “Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me?” Kevin asked. The jumper had landed funny, his body twisted around, and Kevin was finding it difficult to pull his shoes off.

  Alex pulled at one shoe while Kevin worked on the other. “I really hate rigor mortis,” Kevin grumbled. “The things I do for Mom.”

  “You must love her a lot,” Alex said. “I have to do this; we need the food. But you’re just doing this for vodka.”

  “You need food; she needs vodka,” Kevin said, finally pulling off the shoe. He gave the body a disgusted kick and began walking in search of the next one. “Besides, I figure I owe her.”

  “How do you mean?” Alex asked.

  “She’s my mother,” Kevin said. “And this isn’t something I’d like to get around, but I was a bed wetter. Mom never scolded me or made me feel like I was bad or it was my fault. So now, if I have to go to a little extra effort to give her the one thing she wants, I’m going to do it. You tell anybody what I just said and I’ll kill you.”

  “Don’t worry,” Alex said. “There’s no one around to tell anyway.”

  “True enough,” Kevin said.

  Alex remembered a night, shortly after they’d moved to Eighty-eighth Street, when he’d wet the bed. He’d gone to Mami and Papi’s room, crying with misery and humiliation.

  They’d gone back to his room, Papi helping him change into clean pajamas, while Mami stripped the bed and put on fresh sheets. Carlos had woken up and called Alex a baby, and Papi had told Carlos to shut up, that Carlos had done that and worse in his day. Alex could still remember Papi lifting him onto the top bunk, and his parents kissing him good night.

  The power of his loss and his anger punched him in his gut, and he nearly keeled over.

  “You okay?” Kevin asked.

  Alex wanted to say no, he wasn’t okay, he would never be okay again. He felt rage and resentment, and for a moment he included Kevin in his list of things he hated, because Kevin had food and a home and parents.

  “Yeah, I’m okay,” he said. “It must have been something I ate.”

  Friday, October 14

  By the time Alex picked up Julie at Holy Angels, he was already in a bad mood. There was a pile of a half dozen stripped new deads in front of the apartment building, with no guarantee they’d ever be removed, which meant dodging rats just to get through the door.

  He, Kevin, and Julie had stood on line for food for five hours that morning, the temperature well below freezing and a harsh wind blowing the entire time. Kevin had walked Julie to Holy Angels while Alex took the bags, none of which had very much food, up the twelve flights, because the electricity wasn’t running. Then he’d taken stuff to Harvey’s for barter, and even though he hadn’t gotten much in return, he still had to carry it up the twelve flights again. Bri had spent the morning in the apartment without being able to use the electric heater or the electric blanket, stuck in the sleeping bag. He had opened a can of mixed vegetables for her, and then spoon-fed her, so she wouldn’t have to take out her arms. Father Mulrooney had given up a full eyebrow look when Alex finally made it to school, and Alex had been worried until lunchtime that he’d be told he wouldn’t be allowed in the cafeteria. He had an eyestrain headache from trying to read in dim natural light, and even though the school kept its thermostat at fifty-five degrees, he hadn’t been able to shake off the morning chill.

  He had a date to go body shopping with Kevin the next morning, but he wasn’t optimistic about what they’d get for it, since there was no market for watches anymore, and even shoes and coats weren’t bringing in what they used to. But going gave him an excuse to leave the apartment, so he wouldn’t have to spend the whole day stuck with his sisters and nothing to do.

  Bri still insisted on going to Mass on Sunday, which meant an extra half hour to get down the twelve flights of stairs and then to St. Margaret’s and an extra half hour to get back home. They had to stop at every floor for her to catch h
er breath, and she needed to use her inhaler twice, sometimes three times, before the climb was finished. But that was the only time Bri escaped from the apartment, and Alex couldn’t find it in his heart to forbid her. It didn’t help that Julie wanted to race ahead, and Alex wouldn’t let her. As far as he could tell, they had the building all to themselves, but that didn’t mean someone wasn’t lurking in the stairwell, and he couldn’t risk letting Julie go up by herself. So Julie would spend Sunday afternoon sulking and Bri would spend it gasping and claiming she was fine, and Alex would have to act sympathetic, when all he wanted to do was run.

  He could tell right away that the weekend he was already-dreading was about to get worse. Julie had that look in her eyes. She hadn’t looked that upset since the garden had died.

  “What is it?” he asked. “They fed you, didn’t they?”

  Julie nodded.

  Alex prayed for patience and understanding. On Monday, he’d find out who the patron saint of patience was. He could use the extra help.

  “I can see something’s upsetting you,” he said. “Want to tell me about it?”

  “You won’t like it,” Julie said.

  Alex snorted.

  “Don’t!” Julie cried. “You always act like everything’s my fault. Bri does everything right and I do everything wrong and I hate it!”

  “What?” he shouted. “I said I could see you were upset, and all of a sudden I’m the villain?”

  “If you’re going to shout at me, I won’t tell you,” Julie said.

  “Fine,” Alex said. “Don’t. See if I care.”

  “I wish Carlos was here,” she said.

  “Me too,” Alex said. And Mami and Papi and Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Lorraine, and all the other grown-ups who knew how to handle Julie.