by JA Armstrong
Carrie thought the sight was more sensual than a kiss. Her skin tingled with desire. Devon was lost to her exploration, as if she were contemplating a treasure she was unsure how to reveal. Devon’s eyes lifted back to Carrie’s. Admiration and longing danced in her blue irises.
Carrie tucked Devon’s long blonde hair behind Devon’s ears. She grabbed the bottom of Devon’s sweater and swiftly pulled it over Devon’s head. A single fingertip deftly trailed over the hollow of Devon’s throat to the top of her cleavage. Carrie’s lips tasted Devon’s for less than an instant before drifting in a flurry of feather-light kisses to the hollow of Devon’s throat. Her hands found their way to Devon’s back, pulling Devon closer. Her lips continued to descend over the swell of Devon’s breasts. Carrie glanced up and smiled at the look of desperation on Devon’s face. She moved to look into Devon’s eyes. The moment Devon met her gaze, Carrie’s lips took possession of Devon’s passionately.
Devon’s knees began to buckle. Carrie’s grip tightened, holding her steady. Devon sometimes lost sight of the strength Carrie possessed amid the tender caresses and loving kisses they shared. Carrie was the gentlest person she had ever known. Warmth and compassion flowed through the woman she loved. Passion could never drown that reality. Fast, hard, demanding, even commanding—Devon had made love with Carrie every way a person could imagine. Underneath the intensity of lust and desire, it had always been love and acceptance that drove them both toward ecstasy.
Carrie felt Devon waver in her embrace. She backed Devon slowly toward the bed. Her hands kneaded the muscles of Devon’s back until her fingers reached the clasp of Devon’s bra. She released it with one flick and pulled it from Devon’s shoulders. She heard Devon’s breathing become uneven and let her tongue taste the flesh of Devon’s shoulder. She needed to feel Devon, touch Devon—to taste Devon. She unbuttoned Devon’s jeans and tugged at the waistline, demanding that Devon free herself.
Devon would have laughed if she hadn’t been so far gone already. How was it, she wondered, that she never thought to remove her boots? A faint chuckle passed her lips.
Carrie looked at Devon curiously.
“My boots,” Devon explained.
Carrie smiled. She pushed Devon back to sit on the bed. It was true. Devon’s boots had gotten in the way of Carrie’s seduction more than once. She had no intention of letting them thwart her endeavor tonight. She went to her knees and pulled Devon’s jeans and panties to her ankles allowing her fingers to skim over Devon’s flesh faintly. She looked at Devon, holding her gaze steadily as she untied each of Devon’s boots and tossed them carelessly aside, then removed the last offending articles of clothing that separated her touch from Devon’s nakedness. Her eyes remained fixed on Devon’s, silently daring her lover to look away.
Devon’s heart fluttered erratically. Carrie’s gaze was like a magnet, compelling Devon to remain fixed in place. She felt Carrie’s hand as it slid up her thigh. She wanted to close her eyes. Tiny shocks that reminded her of the static electricity from a warm blanket in winter erupted over her skin. Still, Carrie’s eyes held hers. Carrie lifted her mouth to Devon’s—eye to eye now, lust burning. Yearning so powerful it bordered on pain. Please, just touch me. Devon’s mind went silent when Carrie’s lips found hers again.
Sweet. Carrie tasted Devon’s mouth tentatively at first. The sweetness of white wine gave way to hints of the bitter coffee Devon was addicted to. Devon. It was pure Devon—all Devon. Carrie thought it strange the way a person could be revealed in a kiss. The ability to taste the desire of another, the parts of them they sometimes sought to conceal, all rushing to the surface against their will. She could scarcely hope to hide anything from Devon. Here she was fully clothed, pressed against Devon’s exposed flesh and yet Carrie was certain she had never felt as naked. Every thought seemed to evaporate into feeling. Every question suddenly answered by the brush of Devon’s tongue as it danced with hers. There were no corners in which to hide. Every part of Carrie rose to greet Devon.
Devon entertained the notion that she might die under Carrie’s touch. Carrie’s hands wandered over her body as if she were attempting to commit every inch to memory. Their kiss continued slowly, searching and speaking at the same time. Carrie’s mouth left Devon’s in search of new territory to explore. Devon sighed at the loss. The warm wetness of Carrie’s mouth as it surrounded her nipple took Devon’s breath away. Her fingers wound themselves in the soft waves of Carrie’s chestnut hair, pleading for Carrie to stay.
Carrie’s tongue teased the pink nipple in her mouth relentlessly. She delighted in the way it responded to her request, standing at attention like a soldier obeying her orders. She needed more. She needed all of Devon. Her mouth began its leisurely descent, tugging at each of Devon’s nipples before venturing lower. She glanced back at Devon. Devon’s head had fallen back exposing her neck. Carrie felt a flood of warmth pool in her center. Dear God. Devon defined sexy. Carrie had always thought that. It didn’t matter if Devon was dressed for a formal event or sweating in the heat of the kitchen; Devon exuded sensuality.
Lower. Lower. Carrie’s tongue relished every dip and curve as it traversed Devon’s form. She worshiped each freckle, every slight blemish, crevice, and the tiny scar left behind by a childhood appendectomy.
Devon’s body began to tremble beneath Carrie. Something deep within her was rising, begging her to look at Carrie, to watch as Carrie carried her away. She forced herself to open her eyes and look at Carrie. Instinctively, Carrie’s eyes rose to hers. Without a word, holding Devon’s attention, Carrie moved to taste the length of Devon’s need. Devon gripped the blanket beneath her. Carrie’s eyes stayed focused on Devon’s. Her tongue lashed playfully over Devon’s softness, taunting and teasing with abandon.
Devon’s hips rotated to meet Carrie’s efforts, begging for her to linger. Devon’s thoughts swirled in time with her hips. Move—back—there—stop—please. Her head began to spin. The sound of blood rushing through her veins nearly drowned the muffled moans escaping the back of Carrie’s throat. Good, God, she might kill me. Devon’s eyes drifted from the sight of Carrie’s head between her thighs, down Carrie’s back to her ass. Carrie.
Devon choked on her lover’s name. “Carrie.”
Carrie pulled Devon closer. Could she ever tire of this? Tire of the way Devon moved against her? Never. She could make love to Devon forever and never grow tired. She sensed Devon’s frustration. The warmth of Devon’s need lingering on her tongue. Carrie accepted Devon’s offer greedily until she felt Devon’s body burst into a frenzy of blissful shudders. She slowed her pace allowing her teasing to give way to a series of sweet kisses. Devon shuddered again. Carrie sucked gently.
“Carrie!” Devon’s world exploded. She held Carrie’s head in place as her body lifted without her permission. Sound or silence? Devon was not certain if the words on the tip of her tongue had escaped her mouth.
A deep ache traveled from Carrie’s belly to her core. Devon’s release had conjured a need within Carrie more profound than any she could recall. She startled when Devon’s hands pulled her upward.
Devon’s mouth met Carrie’s with a crushing kiss. She flipped Carrie beneath her. Her hand traveled from Carrie’s ankle languidly up her thigh. Her lips tasted Carrie’s for a brief second as her other hand fought to lower Carrie’s dress. She was tempted to rip it from Carrie’s body. She yanked until Carrie’s heaving breasts were exposed. Desire had taken over any hope of conscious thought.
Carrie held onto Devon like a lifeline. Devon’s fingers slipped inside her panties, and Carrie’s eyes closed against her will. Devon’s lips surrounded her nipple. Carrie’s world went dark and then light, and then dark again—erotic. She needed Devon now.
“Dev. Inside me.” Carrie heard her voice speak but the words sounded foreign. She was sure she had never needed anything as much as she needed to feel Devon inside her now.
Heat rushed through Devon. She looked at Carrie. How could she love anyone mo
re? No touch, no word, no ring, no promise could capture what Carrie meant to her. “Everything.”
Carrie’s eyes searched Devon’s, wondering if she had meant to speak the word.
“You,” Devon said. Her fingers tenderly answered Carrie’s request. She held Carrie close. “You are everything.” Her forehead fell against Carrie’s as the pace of her fingers increased, following Carrie’s lead.
Carrie felt Devon deep within her. It would still never be enough. She moved with Devon, urging Devon to take her as every muscle in her body tensed.
“Carrie,” Devon whispered.
Light blinded Carrie as her body gave over. It felt primal to her. She gripped Devon. “Don’t stop.”
Devon thrust deeper and harder. She straddled Carrie’s leg, needing to feel Carrie pressed against her. Carrie’s body rose and Devon’s fell, finally collapsing together. Electric, painful, pleasing—all of it at once crashing between them like magnets thrown together and pulled apart without warning. “Carrie,” Devon’s voice cracked.
Carrie guided Devon’s face to hers. She smiled. “I love you, Devon.”
Devon brushed Carrie’s hair aside. “I love you,” she promised with a tender kiss.
Carrie giggled.
“What?”
“I just wonder how I am going to get this dress off now.”
Devon grinned. “I have a few ideas.”
Carrie laughed. “I can’t wait.”
“Good.”
Carrie closed her eyes. I do love you, Dev. So much.
***
Devon’s fingers drummed the arm of her chair endlessly. Carrie moved her hand to still them. “Relax,” Carrie said.
“I can’t.”
Carrie found Devon’s nervousness endearing. She felt surprisingly relaxed. In about fifteen minutes they would be able to go home. “Dev, we won’t know anything for a few weeks.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Carrie grinned. “Honey, it might not work. That’s okay.”
Devon shook her head.
“Dev?”
“I want it to work.”
“So, do I,” Carrie confessed. “But whatever happens, it will be okay. Right? Lots of couples have to try for years to have a baby.”
Devon leaned over and kissed Carrie’s forehead. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“I can’t promise you that. I can promise you that I won’t be disappointed forever.”
Devon wasn’t sure what was driving her nervousness. Carrie was calm. It surprised Devon. She found herself wishing things were simpler. It seemed strange—the ceremony they had to endure to start a family. Knowing that this was the endeavor to begin their family was meaningful. It was also unsettling to Devon. They would have a specific number of days to wait until Carrie would receive her blood test. That would either grant them something to hope for or their first disappointment. It felt more like taking her SATs in high school then she had imagined starting a family would feel—preparation, procedure, testing—results. She felt Carrie’s hand cover hers.
“Hey,” Carrie called for Devon’s attention.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I have to say, I’m surprised.”
“Oh?”
“I thought you’d be the one who was nervous.”
Carrie laughed. “I can’t do anything more than we’re doing. Wait two weeks. I promise you; I’ll be nervous then.”
“I was thinking.”
Carrie arched her brow suggestively.
Devon chuckled. “Still thinking about last night?” she guessed.
“It’s crossed my mind a few times.”
“Really?” Devon asked.
Carrie grinned.
“It was pretty amazing.”
“Yes, it was,” Carrie agreed. “Somehow, I get the feeling that isn’t what you were thinking about.”
“Oh, I’ve thought about it plenty.”
Carrie laughed.
“But no, that’s not what I was talking about.”
“Want to share?”
“Do you think that we might be able to convince your folks to change their plans this Christmas?” Devon asked.
Carrie tipped her head, unsure what Devon meant.
“I thought maybe we could convince your family to come east this year for the holidays.”
“All of them?” Carrie asked playfully. She had a large extended family who celebrated the Christmas holiday together.
“I was thinking Ford’s family and your parents.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t think they will?”
“I don’t know, Dev. Christmas is a big deal there every year.”
“Yeah, I know. It couldn’t hurt to ask, though.”
“What are you up to?”
“Nothing.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I get it. You don’t want to leave CJ this year for Christmas.”
“No, I don’t,” Carrie admitted.
Carrie and Tom had both thought it best for everyone to spend the holidays together in Connecticut. CJ needed consistency to help her feel secure. While Carrie hated the idea of missing a Christmas with her parents, she was looking forward to Christmas morning with CJ.
“You missed your trip home to see everyone this summer and…”
“I’ll talk to my mom.”
Devon smiled. “Really?”
“Dev, I would love my parents and Ford to spend Christmas here. You know, my mom always hosts Christmas Eve for the entire family. It’s a tradition. I don’t know how she’ll feel about breaking that—even to come here.”
“Can’t hurt to ask.”
“I’ll talk to her.”
A knock fell on the door.
“You’re all set,” Dr. Chandler said. “I’ll send you home with orders for your first blood test. Remember, if that’s good we’ll do at least one more. If all is as we hope, then we’ll schedule an ultrasound.”
Carrie nodded.
“Try not to worry. It won’t help. Rest the next couple of days. Give things their best chance to work.”
“She will,” Devon said.
Carrie smiled. Devon was a bundle of nervous energy. She wondered what Devon would be like if they were successful.
“Good,” Dr. Chandler said. “Let’s hope that I see you soon.”
“Thank you,” Carrie replied.
Dr. Chandler winked and left the room.
Carrie looked at Devon.
“What?” Devon asked.
“I’m just wondering if you plan on handcuffing me to the bed for the next couple of days.”
“I would, but you heard the doc. She said rest. That won’t lead to rest.”
Carrie laughed. “Let’s go home.” She grabbed her clothes.
“Carrie,” Devon pulled Carrie to her. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Dev.”
***
Three Weeks Later
Carrie’s head fell into her hands. She’d been attempting to banish a headache for hours. Another working weekend, that was her reality. The sale of Maynard and Willis would eventually relieve her stress. Carrie felt secure in her decision to let go of the company she’d built. She looked forward to a slower pace on the work-front and hoped for a more hectic pace on the home-front. There were a million loose ends to tie up, T’s to cross, I’s to dot, and her ability to concentrate on anything seemed to wane by the minute. Lately, she’d been grateful for the distraction work provided. Wondering and worrying about a pregnancy was draining. She felt CJ crawl up onto the couch. “Hey, you,” Carrie said.
“Are you sick?” CJ asked.
“No, monkey, maybe a little tired.” Carrie closed her computer and set it aside. “What have you been up to?”
“Playing.”
“Yeah? What were you playing?”
“Angwy Biwds.”
“Really?” Carrie feigned surprise.
CJ’s eyes met Carr
ie’s with concern.
Carrie smiled. “I’m okay, sweetheart. I just have a little headache.”
CJ frowned. She looked at Carrie’s phone on the table.
“Did you want to call someone?” Carrie asked.
CJ nodded.
Carrie handed her the phone expecting that CJ wanted to call her father or perhaps Dakota.
“Hey,” Devon’s voice came over the line.
“Can you come home?” CJ asked.
Carrie looked at CJ curiously. Who is she talking to?
“CJ?” Devon questioned.
“Yep. Come home.”
Devon was confused. “Are you okay? Where’s Auntie?”
“Here,” CJ said. She looked at Carrie. Carrie’s eyes were nearly slits, evidence of her headache. “She’s sick.”
Devon’s heart dropped rapidly. Carrie’s first three blood tests had all indicated a pregnancy. It would be almost another four weeks before the doctor would perform an ultrasound to ensure the pregnancy was viable. “CJ, let me talk to Auntie.”
“Debon wants you.” CJ handed Carrie the phone.
Carrie accepted it and sighed. “Hi.”
“What’s going on?”
“I’m okay.”
“Really? Why is CJ calling me then?”
“I have a little headache.”
“How bad?”
“Not bad,” Carrie said. “I promise. I’m just a little tired.”
“Do you need me to come home?”
“No.”
“Carrie…”
“Devon, I’m fine.”
Carrie caught CJ’s disapproving glance. She sighed inwardly. Grief and loss changed a person—every person. Dar’s death was still fresh for everyone, particularly CJ. CJ’s fear of losing Carrie remained palpable. Carrie and Tom had agreed that some therapy for everyone in their unique family was a good idea. Adjusting to life without Dar meant navigating occasional high emotional tides, and learning how to accept the dynamic in the family they had created. A few weeks earlier, one of the moms from CJ’s preschool had jumped to the conclusion that Tom was Carrie’s ex-husband. It was a logical leap. CJ spent half of every week with Carrie and Devon. While that had been common while Dar was alive, it had lacked structure. Now, CJ’s schedule had become consistent. Carrie was CJ’s legal co-guardian. CJ loved being at Carrie and Devon’s, but hints of her insecurity lingered. The only remedy to CJ’s anxiety was reassurance, support, and love. There were times that meant pushing CJ out of her comfort zone slightly. Carrie tried to step away from time to time when CJ protested, hoping that gradually CJ would become confident that Carrie would not leave her. Carrie wished she had a magic wand to ease CJ’s fears. Feeling CJ’s nervousness affected her immensely. Now, Devon’s anxiety added a layer to the situation.