Havoc

by Alexis Noelle

  I didn’t think I would miss him like I do and it makes being here so much worse. He calls but it’s usually quick and I can barely hear him because wherever they are the service is really shitty. Sleeping in his bed alone, in a place that I’m not comfortable in is getting old too. I want to be home in my bed.

  Today I had to go to work and had one of the prospects up my ass the whole time. Every time I moved, he moved. My boss was looking at me like I was crazy. I told her he was a cousin who was interested in the field and wanted to shadow me for a little while. She seemed to buy it until she saw him.

  “How’s it hanging?” Megan walks up to me and I just look at her.

  “There isn’t enough alcohol in the world.” I shake my head as Nikki’s son runs by us stepping on my foot and not even noticing. I’m really not a total monster. I’m just not a kid person, and right now the main room is crawling with them

  My phone rings and I look down to see that it’s Rock. “Hey, I was beginning to think I wouldn’t hear from you tonight.”

  “Yea, well we’ve been on the road for a long ass time.” His voice sounds tired.

  “Any idea when you guys will be getting back?” I try not to sound too desperate. He doesn’t need to worry about me when he is out there and could be in danger.

  “Next couple of days. Can’t say for sure when.” I hear some yelling in the background. “Gotta go. Love you, babe.”

  He hangs up before I can say anything back. His voice sounded like he hasn’t slept since he left. Great, another thing I have to worry about, him riding his bike tired as all hell. My hands wring together as my imagination works overtime.

  “You gotta distract yourself or you’ll go crazy.” I look over to see Lucy standing next to me.

  “How do you do that?” I can’t think of anything at this point that could get my mind off the fact that there could be someone out there going after him. I’ve heard whispers, ends and beginnings of conversations. There is some other club they’re worried about. I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping but it’s hard not to when no one wants to tell you anything.

  “I spend time with my kids.” She shrugs.

  I laugh. “Well I don’t have any and not to sound like a bitch, but I’m glad for that being the way you girls are running around here.”

  “They’re exhausting but totally worth it in the end. I always swore I’d never bring kids into the world but things change, you’ll change.” A silence falls between us as I think about what she said. A couple months ago you wouldn’t have convinced me that Rock and I would be where we are right now. “There is another thing that might be my favorite distraction.” I arch an eyebrow in question at her. “Girl’s night.”

  “Did I just hear you say girl’s night?” Nikki walks up next to Lucy. “Hell yes, we are way overdue for one of those. I’ll gather the troops and we’ll have one tomorrow. This will be a good initiation for you.” Nikki slaps me on the back before heading across the room to where Tracy and Izzy are standing.

  “So, I guess you’ll get to see for yourself.” Lucy laughs.

  I’m still getting used to being around all the girls so a night of fun might be just what we need. “Anything I need to do?”

  “Oh, trust me Nikki will start assigning tasks, although since it’s lockdown she’ll probably just give one of the prospects a shopping list.”

  “I feel bad for them.” I look over immediately able to tell who they are in the room. Their cuts are different, and they’re not allowed to drink or really relax.

  “I used to until I really understood the meaning of it.” She waves over to the guy behind the bar and grabs us a couple beers before sitting down at the nearest table. I follow her, thankful to have someone to talk to that isn’t Megan. “They are basically auditioning while proving that the club comes first no matter the task. These boys are expected to drop anything and everything when needed for club business. They don’t question, they just do what they’re told and that’s learned when they’re a prospect. Sure, they get the shit jobs but it’s like pledging a sorority or fraternity, you gotta prove how much you want it.”

  “I guess that makes sense. I’m the kind of person who hates asking people for things, so for me it’s uncomfortable when Rock tells me to order them around.”

  Lucy laughs. “Oh, that used to be me. You’ll get more comfortable the more you’re here. That means you actually have to come around though.” She shoots me a look and I instantly feel guilty.

  I have been avoiding being here a lot. Since the party I felt a little embarrassed about the way I acted when Rock handed me my jacket. Megan and I had talked the next day and she told me what a huge thing it was. I really had no idea, but the damage had already been done. “Yea, sorry about that. I guess I felt like I made such a shitty impression and I didn’t want to show my face again.”

  “Girl, you are gonna screw up. We all have. It’s how you recover from that shit that makes the difference. You either stick your head in the sand and hide or you walk around with your head held high.” She shrugs like what she just said is black and white. “You’re an old lady, that shit means something here. You need to own it.”

  I think for a minute before looking up at her. “I guess it’s time to learn to hold my head high here.”

  “Hell yes.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chrissy

  “Oh, I don't know what you've been told

  But this gal right here's gonna rule the world

  Yeah, that is where I'm gonna be because I wanna be

  No, I don't wanna sit still, look pretty” - Daya

  The girls have been doing stuff all day getting ready for tonight. Just like Lucy said, Nikki took the reins and started to assign everyone stuff to do. There were desserts getting made, someone was mixing Sangria, and a couple of the prospects were setting up one of the backrooms as a place for the kids to hang out in the hopes they would leave the moms alone. I’m on cookie duty with Izzy and Megan. I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with Izzy but she seems nice.

  “Guys, the smell of this kitchen is making me sick. I need to go get some air.” Megan holds her stomach as her face gets paler.

  “The smell of cookies is making you sick? That kid must hate you.” Izzy and I both start laughing and Megan just groans before walking out of the kitchen.

  “So, any baby plans for you guys?” I look over at Izzy and she laughs even harder.

  “Not anytime soon. I’m enjoying my freedom right now. Plus if I get baby fever I’ll just borrow one of the hundred kids running around here.” As she finishes her sentence a loud screech sounds and we both cover our ears.

  Shaina comes running in, her eyes welling with tears. “Carter, say I can’t play. He say I too little.” Her arms are crossed over her chest and her bottom lip is sticking out a few extra inches. “Beat him up, Aunt Izzy!”

  Izzy laughs and then kneels down in front of Shaina. “What if I snuck you a cookie since you’re such a big girl?” Her eyes light up and she nods. Izzy grabs one off the counter offering it to her. “You don’t pay any attention to those boys. Girls have all the power when you get older anyway.”

  Shaina gives Izzy a hug before running out of the kitchen. “Carter, I gots a cookie and the power!” We hear her yell and just shake our heads.

  “See? I don’t even need my own kids right now. Especially if my brother has his way and knocks Nikki up again.” Putting the baking pan in the oven she turns to me. “How serious are you and Rock?”

  “Serious enough, but definitely not baby serious.” Maybe one day I could see us getting there but not anytime soon.

  “I’ll be back in a couple minutes. I need to grab something from my room.” Izzy walks out and just then my phone starts to buzz.

  “Hey babe, how is everything?”

  I hear the sound of bike engines in the background before Rock says anything. “It’s goin’, we should be home tomorrow though. Miss you, babe.”

  “I m
iss you too, but I’m trying to keep busy here.” The more I do the less I hope to think about Rock.

  “Oh yea? What’s going on?”

  I sit down on one of the chairs playing with some flour that’s spilled on the table. “Nikki is orchestrating a girl’s night, so right now I’m helping bake cookies.” If I’m honest, I’m kind of nervous because I really want the girls to like me. I want to belong here.

  “Damn, girl’s night. I’ve been around for a few of those. Just pace yourself.” He laughs.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Oh you’ll see. I gotta head, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  I sigh wishing that he were coming home tonight instead. “Okay, see you tomorrow.” He starts to say something else but the line cuts out. He’s had crappy service the whole time he’s been away.

  The oven beeps and I pull the final tray of cookies out. I start placing all the finished ones on a tray for everyone when Tracy walks into the kitchen. “You about ready?”

  I pick up the serving tray. “Yep.” I follow her out to the common room which is normally crawling with brother and club girls but tonight there are only old ladies. Food and drinks are set out on a few tables against the wall and music starts to flow out of the speakers.

  “You can stick that here and help yourself. There are plenty of food and drinks.” She offers me a smile before walking over to the group.

  We spend the rest of the night playing drinking games, watching cheesy movies, telling embarrassing stories about the guys, and stuffing our faces.

  I’ve never had a close group of friends aside from Megan, and I don’t have any siblings.

  I have to imagine though that this might be what it feels like to have sisters.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Rock

  “Make my world go black,

  hit me like a heart attack,

  knock me flat on my back” - Dierks Bentley

  Pulling back into the lot of the clubhouse feels so good. I used to be the one who always volunteered for the run. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than being out on the road.

  This time all I could do was count the time till I would be able to come home. I hated leaving Chrissy here especially since I knew she was uncomfortable and all this shit has been stirring. She seemed a little better each day I talked to her and it made me optimistic that she might fit in better here than she imagined. I talked to Colt and he said the girl’s night had run pretty late so I’m sure she’s probably still passed out.

  Whip comes walking out of the clubhouse door and gives us all a nod. “Pres has been waiting on you. He wants to have church and get an update.”

  Great. All I want to do right now is pass the fuck out.

  None of us say anything though, we just walk to the back room and take our seats around the table. Pres is standing at the head waiting silently until all of us are sitting and the door gets closed.

  “What the fuck happened out there?” his voice grates out.

  The question is directed at all of us and none of us really want to be the one to speak up. I choose to take the wrath and give him the story.

  “Every damn time we changed routes fuckers were there. No idea how. It was almost like they knew our move before we did. Shipments got where they needed to be and in one piece but it was dicey a few times. There seemed like there were more of them than in the past. Every one of the fuckers were armed too.” I look at him not really knowing what else to say. We are lucky none of us took a damn bullet and that we delivered the goods in one piece. Whoever these guys are they aren’t some small time problem that’s going to go away.

  “Wrench, there’s still no clue as to who these assholes are?” Pres almost growls out.

  “I’m still working on it. Every time I think I have a lead it turns into a damn dead end. Whoever they are, they’re covering their tracks really fucking well.” You can see the defeated look on his face. He’s been on this thing for weeks so it has to be frustrating as all hell.

  “We need to close in on the shit.” It’s all he says before the gavel bangs on the table. The harsh sound reverberates throughout the room. No one really makes a move to leave. We’re all probably thinking the same thing. We need to take care of them before they get more daring and something happens that we can’t come back from.

  “Get the fuck out and take care of your shit,” Pres yells and everyone follows suit.

  I head straight for my room but get stopped in the main room by someone I never thought I’d see again. Miranda is standing in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest. The same little smirk I used to fall for plastered on her face.

  “Well, hey there, stranger.” She walks up to me giving me a hug before I can even react to seeing her.

  I pull away. “What are you doing here?”

  “Needed a new home base since you boys left us high and dry.” Her finger traces down my arm.

  She was one of the club girls at our old club. We fooled around on a regular basis but it was never anything more. She had it in her head that I’d claim her one day but that was some shit she had made up in her head. The only girl I ever wanted to give my patch to is wearing it now.

  “Yea, not like we had a huge choice in the matter. Plus it isn’t like we were a thing. You were one of the club girls.” I lean against the wall behind me. I’m tired as fuck and all I want to do is crawl into bed with Chrissy.

  “We could be a thing.” She takes a step toward me invading any personal space I had. “You already know I can treat you right.” Her tongue darts out licking her lips.

  “Listen, Miranda. I’m gonna make this as clear as I can for you. I got an old lady and it ain’t you. You make trouble for me or her and you’ll be out on your ass quicker than you showed up here. Got me?” I stand up waiting for her reply and it comes as a nod. “Good, now I’ve been on a run and I need to go see my girl.” I walk away not waiting for her reply.

  I open the door expecting to see Chrissy asleep under my sheets ready for me to pull her tight against me. What I walk into is a whole different scene. Chrissy has her bag on my bed and is tossing all of her things into it.

  “Going somewhere?” I say leaning against the door frame.

  “Yea, I need to go up to my mom’s for a few days.” She doesn’t look at me and I can’t believe there is any reason she’d voluntarily go up there. “She hasn’t been feeling well so as much as I don’t feel like it, I need to be there. I’ll be far away from here so whatever you guys are dealing with shouldn’t be an issue.” She zips up her bag and grabs her keys off the dresser. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

  Landing a quick kiss on my cheek she almost runs out of the room. I didn’t even have a chance to say anything. My mind is half confused as to what the hell just happened.

  I see Megan in the hallway and she looks at us in confusion. “Where is Chrissy going?”

  “Apparently her mom isn’t feeling good and she’s heading home for a few days to help her out.” I shake my head still trying to process her quick exit.

  “What? Her mom is in Hawaii. She was telling us last night.” Megan pulls out her phone, pressing it to her ear. “Straight to voice mail. Why the hell would she turn her phone off?”

  Warning sounds are blaring inside my head. I try and get a hold of her but my call goes right to voice mail too. “What the fuck is going on?”

  Megan gives me a look of confusion. “I have no idea. I saw her a few minutes ago and let her know you guys just got home and she seemed so excited. She didn’t say anything about needing to leave.”

  I need to go find her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chrissy

  “There's nothin' where we used to lie

  Conversation has run dry

  That's what's going on

  Nothing's fine, I'm torn” - Natalie Imbruglia

  Tears stream down my cheeks as I drive around with nowhere to go. I can’t go back to my place because it’s
only a matter of time before Rock figures out I was full of shit. My parents are blissful and on vacation right now. I couldn’t stay there after seeing him with her.

  Opening the door, I almost want to run down the hall to see him. It feels like he’s been gone for weeks instead of days. I’ve missed him more than I thought was possible.

  A few steps out of the room and I stop at the sound of the voices I hear. They aren’t loud enough that I can really hear what’s being said. I can recognize that it’s Rock, but I don’t think I know the girl. I can see them just around the corner. He’s leaning against the wall and she’s tracing her finger across his arm. He isn’t pushing her away or telling her off and a sharp pang hits me in the chest.

  She takes another step toward him, their bodies are almost touching at this point. It’s clear from her body language that she wants him and the fact that he hasn’t pushed her away yet is all I need to see.

  I turn, my heart cracking more with each step that I take.

  As I throw my things in my bag as quick as possible, I almost kick my own ass when I feel myself start to cry. I cannot do this here. He can’t know anything is wrong. There’s no way he’ll let me walk away.

  “Going somewhere?” he says leaning against the door frame.

  Yea, I’m getting the fuck away from here. I need to think of a lie fast. “Yea, I need to go up to my mom’s for a few days.” I can’t look him in the eye because I know he’ll see everything I’m trying to bury. “She hasn’t been feeling well, so as much as I don’t feel like it, I need to be there. I’ll be far away from here so whatever you guys are dealing with shouldn’t be an issue.” Zipping up my bag I reach for the keys. Quick exit. Get out of here before he has time to think this through. “I’ll see you in a few days.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek not able to bring myself to kiss him on the lips and not break down.