NOT What I Was Expecting

by Tallulah Anne Scott

  I began to worry that the ice chip had somehow traveled and scratched his brain, too.

  “Huh?” He snapped out of it. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “I was apologizing for not checking to see if you wanted to speak to Fry,” I explained, studying him as much as possible with my peripheral vision while driving.

  “No, no. I’m sure you covered everything.” He smiled at me, but his mind was obviously somewhere else.

  “Is everything all right?” I asked.

  He gave me a long look like he couldn’t decide whether to tell me what was on his mind. He took in a deep breath and blew it out hard. He was about to spill it.

  “I was just thinking that I need to figure out the connection between Eliza’s and Barney’s deaths to be able to figure out who did this, right?” he asked, sort of half talking to me and half thinking out loud.

  “Right,” I agreed.

  “So I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what I’m missing and why I’m missing it. That’s making me think I’m not paying attention to something Uncle Barney said. Every day since I’ve been back in town, I asked him what he did that day, and he asked me. We both spent a good part of the evening recounting our day – you know, the little things nobody ever cares about. That’s what we got in the habit of telling each other. It was like a game,” Luke chuckled softly at the memory. “We were both determined to prove to each other we had the most exciting thing and the most boring thing happen that day.” At that, Luke smiled again and shook his head a couple of times. Then he quickly glanced over at me, as if he just remembered I was there.

  I smiled, since I don’t think anyone could have seen the look on his face when he talked about how he joked with Barney and not smile.

  “You must think we’re a couple of competitive losers, huh?” Luke said with a big grin on his face.

  “No, but I do think you were a couple of competitive little boys,” I assured him.

  “You got that right,” Luke agreed with a laugh. The smile left over from his laugh didn’t last long and was replaced by worry lines from whatever thought took over.

  “Some things he said made so little sense that I don’t think I really tried to figure out what he meant.” Luke had been looking out the window as he spoke, but now he turned to look at me. “I’ve been kicking myself for dismissing anything he said, because it might have been important, and now I might never know what he meant,” he observed quietly. “That solves nothing, won’t bring him back, and won’t catch whoever did this. I need to go over everything he said to me lately to try to figure it out. I mean all of it, including the stuff that I dismissed because it didn’t make any sense.”

  “Um, I don’t want to interrupt your thought process or anything,” I interrupted anyway. “It’s true I saw you with your uncle only briefly, but that doesn’t really sound like the way you reacted to him when I saw you with him at Ms. Eliza’s funeral.”

  “What do you mean?” Luke asked.

  “I just mean dismissing him like you said?” I tried to clarify. “It doesn’t seem like you would really dismiss anything he said.” We both sat quietly for several seconds, but it was beginning to seem much longer. “I don’t know, forget I said anything, because it’s probably completely different when he was making no sense or whatever.”

  Luke turned his head to look out the passenger side window, and I thought this was definitely worse than just being awful at comforting people. Now I was actually making them feel worse. Why didn’t I just keep my big mouth shut?

  “You’re right,” Luke said so softly that I barely heard him. Then he turned his face away from the window, back toward me, and said with a little more enthusiasm, “You’re absolutely right. I tried to follow what he was saying whenever he told me something that made no sense, but he usually became frustrated and wanted to talk about something else. I’ve been feeling bad about having only small pieces of his rambling information that didn’t make sense, because I felt maybe I was cutting him off or ignoring what he said. Now that you made me really think about it, he was the one who became frustrated when he wasn’t making sense. It was almost like sometimes he realized, after he started telling me, that whatever he was saying couldn’t have happened that way. He’d just want to drop it and talk about something else. I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, so I was quick to jump to another topic when he made it clear he wasn’t comfortable with whatever subject we were talking about.”

  “Then maybe you remember more of what Barney said to you than you give yourself credit for,” I suggested. “I mean, since you shouldn’t feel guilty, maybe it will be easier to run through those conversations in your mind now.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Maggie,” Luke joked. “I’ll certainly try that when I’m laid out on the couch once I get to wherever I’m staying. I really hope I can afford your hourly rate, because you know how expensive mental health professionals can be.”

  “Ha-ha-ha, soooo amusing. Since you’re a close personal friend of Fry’s, I’m giving you a pass on my co-pay, because you couldn’t afford it anyway,” I informed him as I flicked on my turn signal.

  I turned into the parking lot of the Hard Rock Café while I was talking and started looking around for the best place to park Luke’s Kia. “How does a cup of coffee sound while we wait for Fry?” I asked.

  “Fine with me,” Luke agreed. “There’s a parking spot on the end of this row.”

  “Hey, good eye,” I said as I whipped his SUV into the excellent spot before I realized what I said. “Oops, sorry. I wasn’t making fun of the fact that you have only one functioning eye at the moment,” I explained as we climbed out and closed the doors. “Which reminds me, let’s see how the eye looks now.”

  We met behind his Kia, since the parking lot was fairly quiet at that moment. I asked him to try blinking both eyes, and this time his pitiful right eyelid actually opened to about half mast. Though it was only open slightly, it was a vast improvement over the way it was clamped shut back at the fishing cabin.

  “Better,” I said with a nod and led the way to the coffee.

  “Wow, I guess you were right,” Luke said with a laugh. “I probably couldn’t afford your co-pay, since it turns out you’re a mental health professional and an ophthalmologist.”

  “What can I say,” I agreed and tried to look all serious. “I’m a woman of many talents.”

  “I’m noticing,” Luke said very quietly. Much louder he announced, “You know, I’ve been told I’m a man of many talents.”

  “Please tell me ventriloquism isn’t one of them, because those little puppet people creep me out,” I said.

  “No, but I’ll keep that in mind,” Luke assured me.

  Once we entered the Hard Rock Café, we were seated at one of those half-booths along the wall. Now that we were actually in the Quarter, Luke started making noises about not needing Fry to stay with him as a babysitter. He started explaining how the quiet would probably help him think and thinking time was what he needed most. Then he went into an entertaining illustration of how much fun Fry can be and how that might work as a distraction he didn’t need right now. He concluded with a moving tribute to today’s technology and the great strides we’ve made in communication that would allow him to reach out to Fry, CeCe, or me at a moment’s notice, should he find himself lacking in human contact.

  Our coffee arrived while Luke was still coming up with reasons why he would be fine on his own in the French Quarter. After I doctored my coffee with creamer and sugar substitute I was ready to respond to Luke’s plea.

  After I scored him a nine for originality, an eight for content, and a perfect ten for delivery and dismount, I gave him the breakdown of how it was going to be. “First of all,” I began, “you haven’t covered yourself in the event that another person is murdered in Oakman. A week ago, I would have agreed that statement is absurd and doesn’t even deserve a response. Now, with two people already dead, we can’t say with any
degree of certainty that it won’t happen again. If you are not able to give an account of where you were and have a witness to at least the majority of the time frame, that’s just one more thing that will make you look bad, and frankly Luke, you don’t need anything else to do that right now. Secondly, I completely understand that you might need some down time and definitely some time alone, but I don’t think you’re giving Fry enough credit. He’s very aware of what people need when they are going through emotionally charged issues, and he can help you. If you need a sounding board, he’s there. If you need time alone to think, you’ll probably discover you don’t even have to ask him. That’s likely going to be the time he goes for a walk or goes to the market.”

  “I wasn’t questioning or commenting on Fry’s character. Fry’s the best, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you. I hate that he has to change his plans for the next few days to play sitter for me. That’s my point,” Luke explained confirming what I suspected all along was the real reason he preferred to stay alone.

  I laughed hoping to lighten the mood a little and because what he said was really funny. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think Fry does a lot of planning. He’s not so much a planner as he is a follow the shiny object to see where it takes you kind of guy. That might not work for everyone, but it works for Fry. That’s why he can pop in on the Senior and Single meeting and blend when he’s not even 30 year’s old yet. If he’s in the library during Children’s Story Time, he sits in the circle with all the other kids. The librarians love him, because if any of the kids act out while the librarian is reading, Fry whispers, ‘Little Dude, you gotta stop that. We’re trying to hear the story,’ and the little dudes listen. I guess it’s like a bigger kid told them that or something.” I paused while Luke and I laughed thinking about how awesome Fry is, and I forgot what my point was going to be in the first place.

  “You were telling me how Fry had no plans I was interrupting,” Luke smiled and said all superior, because I was so transparent that he realized I forgot what I was going to say.

  I gave him a smile that I hoped said I knew that, even though I didn’t. I was then saved by a text message alert that double dinged on my phone.

  “Fry’s here,” I said. “It says ‘waiting for you by Luke’s ride in the parking lot,’” I read to Luke.

  “Good, let’s go.” Luke jumped up and grabbed the check the waitress had left on the table at her last visit. We walked out into the dusky evening, which would have been darker without the streetlights that lit up the sidewalks and parking lot as if we were in daylight.

  As we approached the parking lot, we saw Fry laid out flat on his back with his arms and legs sprawled in all directions on top of Luke’s Kia. Luke looked at me questioningly.

  “I have no idea,” I said. When we reached the car I almost felt like I shouldn’t disturb him. Oh, well. “Fry, what are you doing?” I asked.

  “Star gazing, my friend, star gazing. It’s very freeing,” Fry said blissfully.

  “Has there ever been a moment in your life that you didn’t feel free?” I asked.

  Fry considered that a moment. “Probably not,” he admitted and slid off of the roof to join us.

  “I really appreciate this, Fry,” Luke said as he watched Fry land on his feet. “Are you sure you don’t mind hanging around down here for a few days and blowing off whatever you have going on back home?”

  “No can do, Luke,” said Fry. “You know you can always count on me, man, but I actually came here to give you the key to Serge’s place and tell you I have to be getting back to Oakman.”

  “What?” I asked, “What do you mean?”

  “See,” Luke said. “I knew he couldn’t just drop everything at a moment’s notice.”

  Since we both spoke at the same time, Fry looked at me, then Luke, then back at me. He smiled as he tried to decide who to address first. “Kids, kids, kids,” he began. “Just listen to Uncle Fry for a minute. I was on the phone with CeCe most of the way here, and we have strategized a plan. Strategized — is that a word? Oh well, if it wasn’t, it is now. Here’s the deal. The local constabulary, that’s the officers of the law Maggie since you don’t watch the BBC, have decided it’s necessary to routinely monitor the movements of one Fritz Everhaas, a.k.a. me. Apparently, they’ve noticed Luke is a no-show, and they’ve been told by his crew at the library expansion site that I’m the only person he’s been seen hanging around with in town. For that reason, I’m understandably popular, so it would be a big no-no for me to go AWOL at this time.”

  Luke and I were standing there listening and neither of us made any sounds of interrupting, but Fry kept pausing to give us the chance to jump in. I think we were at a loss as to how to respond at the moment.

  “So,” Fry continued, when it became apparent we had nothing, “CeCe and I decided Maggie will stay with you down here in Serge’s pad. She will be your witness should the unthinkable happen and another Oakmanite happen to turn up murdered. Also, Maggie, as you pointed out when you asked me about this gig, Luke needs someone to talk him through everything he can think of to try to connect Barney’s and Eliza’s murders. If the sheriff’s department isn’t looking in the right place, we might have to steer them in the correct direction. That is, of course, if we have a clue where that direction might be, which at the moment we do not.”

  Fry stood and stared at us for a while, but I think Luke and I were trying to figure out how to tell him this was a bad idea.

  “Sounds good,” Luke said.

  Now, I backed up so I could share my disbelieving look with Fry and Luke simultaneously. “How can you say that?” I asked Luke. “You’re the one who said you thought you’d be better off with some alone time to try to figure this whole thing out.”

  “Ah, yes, but you made the excellent argument that a sounding board would probably work so much better, and I can still have some time alone, when you go to the market, or for a walk, or whatever,” Luke said, brazenly throwing my words back in my face.

  “Okay, but wait,” I tried to rally. “You didn’t want anyone to change their plans, and truthfully, I don’t mind staying to help. The thing is, it’s so unfair to CeCe, because we are partners, you know. I can’t just tell her to handle everything until I’m ready to come back.”

  “No worries, Mags,” Fry assured me, all helpful and annoying. “CeCe and I have the shop covered.”

  “Awesome. Fry, how did you get here if you’re being watched or tailed or whatever you said,” I asked.

  “Oh, I can get away from them if I need to,” Fry said a little too proudly. “CeCe and I decided we’d rather the investigators monitor me. Besides, they aren’t so much following me as popping up from time to time, which is fun for me. That’s why I didn’t bring my car or my cell phone when I came down here. I’m staying in Oakman so that when they want to find out what I’m doing, I’ll be right there doing my usual nothing. In fact, CeCe and I will actually be keeping an eye on them as they keep an eye on me, if you can follow that.”

  “Maggie, you really don’t have to stay,” Luke said smiling at me all charming and sweet. “I was just having some fun at your expense, but I know you’re busy and the truth is, I can make sure I’m seen regularly around here to cover my whereabouts.”

  That is so unfair. I don’t want him to be blamed for his Uncle Barney’s death. Of course I want to help him. At some point, I want to get to know him better. I might possibly want to have his babies someday. That doesn’t change the fact that I was still hoping to make a good impression on him sometime in the near future. Somehow I don’t think him seeing me with bedhair when I stagger into the kitchen before I’ve had my coffee is going to move me closer to that goal.

  “No, no, no, no, no,” I said, just to make sure they caught that. “I meant what I told you earlier, those were excellent reasons then, they’re excellent reasons now, and I already know where Serge’s place is, so it’s settled. Fry, thanks for bringing us the key, but you should
probably get back before the ‘local constabulary’ misses you too much.”

  “Don’t mock me, woman,” Fry said as he gave me a hug. “Now, let me take care of a little business, and I’ll be on my way. These are antibiotic eye drops for your eye, better safe than sorry, so please use,” Fry explained as he pulled a tiny prescription bottle out of his pocket and handed it to Luke. “Stubby’s sending a couple of his guys out to my fishing camp to get your car, Maggie, which they will park at your house for the entire world to see. We’re telling the sisters you’re under the weather, you lost your voice, so they can’t call, and the doc says you’re highly contagious for a few days to a week, so no visits.”

  Fry then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a set of car keys. “These are the keys to a loaner, perfectly legal, little, blue Fiesta right over there,” Fry advised us as he indicated a car parked a few spaces down from Luke’s. “Looks nothing like your SUV, which I’m driving to Stubby’s and parking in his warehouse/garage where it’ll be out of the way and the public eye.

  “Seriously, Fry?” Luke asked, looking at the little blue car. “Look, thanks for all this, really. I know you went to a lot of trouble. I’m not even sure how you got prescription eyedrops, and I probably don’t want to know, but I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but do you really think this is necessary? There are a lot of dark SUV’s running around. I’m not sure mine would be all that conspicuous. What color is that little Ford anyway? It looks like a jellybean.”

  “Oooh, so close, Luke,” Fry joked, as he slipped into his very mellow game show host voice. “The phrase we were looking for was blue candy. We would have accepted either blue candy or candy blue.” Fortunately, the game show host voice didn’t stay long, and he switched back to speaking like the Fry we knew and loved.

  “To address your concerns, the eyedrops are good because I have a guy. I don’t think it’s necessary for your car to disappear today. I think it’s very possible it will be a good idea for your car to lay low in the immediate future, and I can’t necessarily ditch my shadow any time I need to make sure things are covered on this end,” Fry explained calmly.