Always You

by Missy Johnson

  “Come over to the house,” I said, pulling him in that direction.

  He raised his eyebrow at me as if to say ‘now?’ I giggled and blushed as I nodded my head furiously.

  He shook his head and laughed. “See, you can’t keep away from me, Wrenn. You can barely last a day without me around.” It was true. The few days had been hell without him. If that hadn’t already made my decision up for me, then seeing him here today sure as hell had.

  As we walked away, I spotted Paige staring at us from the other end of the gardens. I slowed to a stop, my heart beating furiously.

  “Can you give me a moment?” I said to Dalton. I needed to do this. I needed closure.

  “Sure,” Dalton replied, taken aback. He glanced around and spotted Paige, his body tensing. “What are you doing?” he asked uncertainly, his hand gripping my arm.

  “Something I should have done a long time ago,” I murmured. As he let me go, I walked over to her. She eyed me coolly, her lip turned up as I approached her. If she felt bad or embarrassed about what she had done, she didn’t show it.

  “I want to ask you something,” I said, looking her in the eye. All the hell she had put me though and it came down to this: me finally confronting her.

  “What?” she sneered in disgust. Her chin rose, like even talking to me was below her. She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder and waited.

  “I want to know what your problem is. Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you?”

  Paige laughed and shook her head. “See, you never did get it. You come in here, the little niece of the headmistress, acting like you’re so much better than everyone else with your perfect little life.” She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing in on me. “I don’t need a reason to hate you, Wrenn. I just do.”

  I began to laugh. She stared at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. For so long I had let her get under my skin, and now I couldn’t give less of a shit about her. The response she had just given me confirmed what I already knew: she was a selfish little brat.

  “Do you know why I came here?” I asked her. I didn’t wait for an answer. “Because my entire family died in a car accident. I lost my mother, my father, and my brother, Paige. Do you think I asked for this? Do you think I wanted to invade your little world?” I asked, spreading my hands. “My perfect little life ended a long time ago.”

  Her mouth fell open as her blue eyes filled with shame. She actually looked sorry. I almost laughed. The bitch actually had the balls to feel sorry for me.

  God, that made me want to slap her.

  “My God, Wrenn, I didn’t know—”

  “Of course you didn’t, Paige,” I cut in. “You never gave me a chance. All you did was make my life hell, and the lives of others. Do you think any of this matters? In ten years, where will you be? Still judging people on the very little you know about them?”

  She didn’t respond. Instead, she dropped her gaze and waited for me to finish.

  “Do me a favor and learn from this, because often what seems perfect really isn’t.” I turned and stalked off before she could reply, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

  Damn, that felt good.

  ***

  “Are you sure we’re not going to be…interrupted?” Dalton mumbled, kissing my neck. I nodded. Layna and Dan would be tied up with school-related graduation things for at least the next two hours.

  Then, we were having dinner. The four of us—something that made me completely anxious. Since the truth about us had come out, I hadn’t had the pleasure of being in the same room as Dalton and my family, so I had no idea what to expect.

  Up on my toes, I curled my arms around his neck, tilting his lips down to meet mine, loving the feel of his hand on the curve of my back. Reaching for his hand, I led him to the bed, curling up with his arms around me. I didn’t need sex to feel close to him. Just having him next to me was enough.

  ***

  Well, this was awkward.

  Dalton, Dan, and I sat at the table as Layna carried over the roast that had been slow cooking all day. The table was full of fresh rolls, beans, roast vegetables, and other foods, the smell of which were making my mouth water.

  We sat in silence. And not the good kind, either. It was that weird, eerie silence where you rack your brain trying to think of some amazing conversation starter. I came up with nothing. I glanced at Dalton, silently willing him to say something. He shrugged helplessly.

  Fuck.

  “So, I’m finally free.” It was the first thing that popped into my head. “No more school work. Not until college starts, anyway,” I added. Okay, now I was just rambling, but it was better than the alternative.

  “How does it feel?” asked Dan, relieved a topic had been put forward.

  “Good. Kind of scary, but a good kind of scary.” I felt Dalton squeeze my knee under the table. I put my hand on top of his and smiled at him, tensing as his hand wandered further up my thigh. My body tingled, his touch arousing me even in the presence of my family. I shot him a look. He winked at me, hiding a smile.

  “So Boston University here you come, huh?” Dalton grinned at me, his hand still stroking my thigh.

  “And how about you, Dalton? What are your plans now that the school year is over?” Dan asked pointedly.

  Dalton glanced at me. “Well, Wrenn doesn’t know this yet, but I’ve applied and been accepted into study elementary teaching at BU.”

  I turned to him and gaped. What? He would be at BU with me?

  “Really?” I squealed. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, throwing my arms around him. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks,” he mumbled, flashing me a smile. “I know we haven’t talked much about the future, and I wouldn’t accept the offer without talking to you first, but this is something I really want to do.”

  “I think it sounds perfect for you. And we would be in college together,” I laughed. “How freaking weird would that be?”

  “We would almost be a normal couple,” he chuckled.

  Layna sat down as Dan carved the roast. She smiled at Dalton, and I could tell she was genuinely happy for him. “That’s great news, Dalton.”

  The rest of dinner went okay. It wasn’t a completely natural, easy meal, but it was much less painful than I’d been anticipating. I couldn’t expect for them to be comfortable with the idea of us being together right away, but the fact that they were trying meant the world to me.

  ***

  “That didn’t go too badly,” Dalton chuckled, sitting down on my bed. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay in your room?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, it’s fine. I’m eighteen, remember? Hell, I’m not even in high school anymore,” I joked. I walked over to the bed and joined him, lying on my side, my hand propped up against my head.

  “And I’m glad,” he grunted, shaking his head. “Believe it or not, you being my student wasn’t a big turn-on—more like something I had to push out of my head.”

  I giggled. “Oh really? I thought that was every guy’s fantasy. That and a three-way.”

  “The three-way, maybe,” he laughed. “But seriously, I feel so much more comfortable about us now that school is finished. Though I think to everyone, I’m always going to be that creepy History teacher who took advantage of his student.”

  I smiled, rolling over so I sat on top of him.

  “See, the way I remember it, I hit on you. In fact, I made every advance. You were the poor innocent teacher who was led astray by his pretty, irresistible student.” I leaned down to kiss him.

  He laughed and pushed me away. “No, I can’t kiss you when you’re talking like that,” he chuckled. “But you are right about one thing: you are very irresistible.”

  We lay in bed with the TV on, watching horror movies for half the night. A few times I dozed off, only to wake up to him stroking my hair and smiling down at me.

  “You’ve slept through most of this,” he chuckled, kissing my nose.

  “Big
day,” I mumbled, rolling over and falling back asleep.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Wrenn

  I’d never been to Los Angeles before.

  It was pretty much as I’d expected: lots of traffic, people, and noise. Dalton snuck glances at me as we drove down the M1 heading toward Lanyard, where his mother lived.

  We’d be staying with her for a few weeks, and then moving on to Boston where we planned to get a place together, ready for the start of university.

  I was nervous about meeting his mom. She would’ve known my mom, and that connection gave me some relief. It was like we were all intertwined in each other’s lives, and it was inevitable that we would one day meet.

  Dalton’s mom lived in a huge two-story brick house that overlooked Potter’s Lake. The gardens were perfectly manicured, and the place was nicely kept. My heart was pounding as he pulled into the driveway.

  What if she didn’t like me? What if she thought I wasn’t good enough for her son? As if sensing my concerns, Dalton gave me a smile, putting his hand on my thigh.

  “She will love you, just like I do.”

  I turned to him. Though he had made his feelings clear, that was the first time he had told me he loved me. I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed his fingers. “I love you too. So fucking much,” I said, my eyes brimming with unwanted tears.

  He chuckled and reached over to me, wiping them away. “Don’t cry. This is a happy moment. Enjoy it.” He smiled at me again. “I love you, Wrenn.” He kissed me tenderly, his fingers brushing wisps of hair away from my face.

  He was right. I deserved to enjoy this. Him. Everything. This was my happy ending. No matter what the future held.

  ***

  Mary, Dalton’s mother, turned out to be a lovely woman who I instantly liked. She hugged me as if we were old friends and ushered us inside. She took us through to the kitchen and demanded we sit down while she made coffee.

  “It’s lovely to finally meet you, Wrenn. I’ve been hearing such wonderful things about you.”

  I smiled. Who had been talking about me—Dalton or Layna?

  “It’s great to meet you too,” I said earnestly.

  She set a mug of hot coffee in front of me, and then Dalton. When she looked at him, I could feel the love. It almost took over the room. He was her baby and she would do anything to protect him. Only there were some things he couldn’t be sheltered against.

  “Did you make the appointment?” he asked her, fingering the handle of his mug. He looked up and waited for her to answer.

  She nodded, biting her lip, her face giving away her anxiety.

  “Thanks, Mom. It’ll be fine,” he assured her. “I’ll be fine. No matter what, I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”

  She laughed, tears welling in her eyes. “Honey, I’m your mom. I’ll always worry about you. It’s my job.”

  ***

  It was after dinner, and Dalton had gone out to meet up with some friends. He had wanted me to go, but I’d claimed I had a headache. At first he’d wanted to stay, but after five minutes of me insisting he go out and enjoy himself, he relented. After he’d gone, I crept out of the guestroom, making my way to the living area, where Mary was reading. She smiled at me as I entered, putting down her book.

  “How’s your headache, honey?” she asked, her brow creased with concern.

  “Better,” I said, a wave of guilt washing over me. There had been no headache. I just needed an excuse to spend time with Mary. There was so much I wanted to know.

  “Can I get you anything? A soda? A tea?”

  I shook my head, curling up in one of the armchairs, my legs under me. I had no idea of how to broach the subject of the disease.

  “Would you like to chat?” she asked gently.

  I smiled and nodded.

  She sat down in the chair next to me. “You’re a strong girl, Wrenn. I know this feels overwhelming, but cherish the time you do have with him.”

  “What was it like? Watching your husband suffer?” That was the thing most on my mind, and something only she could answer.

  “Awful. It was hard. And as bad as it was for me, I know it was worse for him.” She took a deep breath, and then sighed. “Losing Derek was horrible, but I am thankful for the wonderful years we had together.”

  “Did he suffer?” I asked softly.

  “The last few months were hard for him. I’m sure he was suffering, but by then he had trouble communicating…” Her voice trailed off as tears filled her eyes. I felt bad for bringing it up. “You can’t control who you love, Wrenn and I think you know that better than anyone. If I’d known about Derek’s illness, it wouldn’t have changed anything. My love for him wouldn’t have disappeared. The only thing that might have changed was that we wouldn’t have had Dalton.”

  The power of her words hit me. Out of the tragedy of her husband’s disease Dalton was born, and had she known about it, they wouldn’t have risked having him. You can’t live life waiting for things to go wrong, because then you’re not really living. Everyone is going to die. That is part of the journey of living. What matters most is living each day you do have like it might be your last.

  I stood up and hugged Mary, glad for her support, and knowledge. Whatever tomorrow bought, I was determined to be there for him. Because even just one day with him would be worth it.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Dalton

  The test was a simple DNA blood test. My blood was sent to a lab where it was analyzed to determine whether I carried the disease. If I did carry it, then there was no doubt that I would develop it.

  “What does this even mean?” Wrenn muttered, throwing the brochure back onto the side table. We were sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. I leaned forward and picked it up, sensing her frustration. She was nervous. We both were. I was shitting myself.

  “The genetics of the disease are pretty complicated. Basically the disease is a genetic malfunction in the brain. It’s the same message getting repeated over and over and not getting through to the parts of the body that need it. See here?” I pointed to the reference of the CAG genetic mutation. She nodded. “So if this repeats less than thirty-five times, then it’s all good. If it repeats more than forty times, then not so good. The higher the number of repeats, the earlier the disease will develop.”

  “And it’s usually worse with each generation?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Not always, but usually.”

  Wrenn studied the brochure. “What if this gene repeats, say thirty-six times?” she asked suddenly.

  “If it’s less than thirty-nine, but higher than thirty-four, it’s likely the disease will develop. I think its something like a seventy percent chance I’ll show symptoms by the time I’m seventy.”

  “So even after all of this, there is a chance you won’t have a conclusive answer?” she demanded.

  I nodded.

  “Then what’s the point? Why are you doing all this if there is a chance it won’t give you the answers you want?”

  “Because no matter how small, if there is a chance I don’t have this, that I’ll never have this, I want to know about it. I want you to know about it.” I sighed. This was so fucking hard. I struggled to think of what to say to her. How could I make her understand?

  How could I put into words what I was feeling?

  “Not knowing might as well be the same as knowing that I have this. It’s always there, Wrenn. All these what ifs in the back of my mind, they don’t go away. I don’t want you to have to live that life too. If you’re in this, then great, but you’re at least going to know what it is exactly you’re in for.”

  “I’ve already told you I’m in,” she said with a frown, reaching for my hand.

  “And I’ve told you that any decision you make before we know for sure, I won’t accept,” I said pointedly.

  She rolled her eyes at me.

  “It’s a big decision, Wrenn. If I have this, I can’t change that. Bu
t you have a choice. I never want you to feel like you don’t have a choice.”

  “Dalton Reid?”

  I looked up. The doctor stood in the hallway outside his consulting room. I nodded and stood, Wrenn rising with me. She clutched my hand tightly. She was shaking. I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it came out more like a grimace.

  We followed him into his office. I studied his face, looking for answers but he was giving nothing away. He would make an awesome poker player.

  We sat down, waiting for him to take his place behind his desk. He nodded at me, raising his eyebrows at Wrenn. It had been years—about ten to be exact—since I had seen Dr. Martin. He hadn’t changed much. His hair was grayer, and he looked older, but that was it.

  “Dalton. It’s been, what, ten years? You’ve certainly grown into a fine young man. I presume this pretty thing is your girlfriend?”

  I nodded and chuckled as Wrenn’s eyebrow shot up at being referred to as a ‘pretty young thing.’

  “This is my girlfriend, Wrenn.” Girlfriend. Wow, that sounds good.

  “Well it’s lovely to meet you, Wrenn. I only wish it were under better circumstances.”

  My whole body tensed as he turned back to me. I studied his face. His eyes wouldn’t quite meet mine and he kept wetting his lips, as though the air was sucking the moisture out of them.

  This was bad. Oh God, I’m not ready to hear this.

  “I’m sorry, Dalton. There is no easy way to tell you this, so I’m not going to beat around the bush. You tested positive. Forty-two repeats. You have Huntington’s Disease.”

  That single moment I will remember forever.

  My beating heart, the sound of my breathing, the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall. I was aware of Wrenn’s stare, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

  Positive.

  Positive.

  No matter how much you prepare yourself for hearing those words, there is always the tiniest part of you clinging to the hope that it won’t be positive. All the times I had considered the disease, I’d never really believed that I would have it too.