by Rachel Hauck
He closed his eyes trying to remember the smell of spring air blowing through open windows, perfumed with the sweet scent of new mown grass.
"Takes you back, doesn't it?" A hand clapped solidly on his shoulder.
Burke whirled around. "Dean," he said, embracing his older brother. "I still miss them."
"Me, too."
"I suppose we never outgrow wanting our grandparents."
"It's home, Burke. It's home."
A young, deep voice interrupted. "Hey, Uncle Burke." A bright face appeared around Dean.
"Jack?"
Jack smiled sheepishly. "Yeah."
"You've grown a foot since I saw you last summer!" Burke stepped back and surveyed his only nephew. He sported the wide, mischievous Benning smile and strong chin. He looked more a like a grown man than Burke wanted to admit.
"He's sixteen, Burke," Dean said, then boasted. "Starting quarterback for the Haymakers this fall."
Burke congratulated his nephew, proud that he continued the Benning legacy at Haskell High.
"Your dad and I had a lot of fun times in this old place," Burke said. "Remember the attic, Dean?"
Dean nodded. "Granddad had old model trains up there with the track and town all laid out. That thing kept us out of trouble for hours."
"Let's check it out," Burke suggested, starting for the attic.
When they reached the hot and dusty third floor, they found the treasure they'd hoped to find. Under a waterproof tarp sat Granddad's trains, still waiting to pull away from the station.
"Hello! Anybody home? Hello?" Muffled calls resounded up the stairwell.
Jack glanced out the attic window. "Granddad and grandma are here."
Burke left the attic and met his parents in the front foyer, grabbing his mother in a big swirling hug. "Hello, Mother."
Laughing, Elaine Benning slapped her son on the shoulder. "Now, put me down before I get dizzy."
"Hello, son." Reese Benning stepped up and gave his youngest son a manly, yet loving hug.
"Dad, good to see you," Burke said. Dean and Jack joined them as they moved into the family room.
"This place hasn't changed in fifty years," Elaine said, glancing around, hands on her petite waist. She seemed like a delicate rose blooming in the shadow of towering trees standing next to the broad, tall Benning men. The top of her brown head barely squared off with Reese's shoulders. "Reese, that mantle picture was there the first time you brought me to meet your parents."
"The folks didn't go in much for change," Reese commented, a far away look in his dark, deep eyes as he walked around the room. "You going to fix this place up Burke? It'd be worth your money. It's got a sound construction. You could rent it out for a nice price."
"I plan on fixing it up," Burke said, rubbing his hands together, an edgy, nervous feeling creeping over him. He had news to share with the family and wanted to get it out in the open. "Why don't we all sit in the family room? I want to talk to you about something."
Elaine and Reese took a seat on the couch. Dean pulled a sheet off of an old rocking chair that squeaked when he sat down. Jack flopped down next to his grandpa and scrubbed Reese's thick gray head with his knuckles then tried to arm-wrestle him. They tussled and grunted for a few seconds before Reese won.
"Not bad for a fifty-seven year old grandpa," Reese said, patting his forearm, muscular and powerful from years of working the ranch and roping cattle.
Meanwhile, Burke paced the floor in front of them, his mind rehearsing what he wanted to say. When he had their attention, he said in one tight breath, "I'm retiring from football."
All smiles faded.
"Why?" Reese asked, serious and concerned.
"Now? At the height of your career?" Dean trailed his father's question with one of his own.
Burke put up his hands for silence. "It's time," he said, meaning it.
"Burke, how can it be time? You're at the top of your game. You have at least five or six seasons left," Dean pointed out.
Burke's gaze fell on each family member, his eyes meeting theirs for a fleeting moment. "Last season was my last. I believe the Lord has called me to retire."
"What's changed, Burke?" Reese asked, studying his son with intensity. "When your mother and I visited with you at Christmas, you had a five year plan to play with the Broncos."
"I've changed."
Elaine shifted in her seat and leaned toward Burke. "How so?"
Burke ducked his head and cleared his throat. Thinking of the events of the last six months still stirred his heart. When he felt in control, he looked up and said. "I encountered Jesus again in a way I hadn't in a long time."
"Good for you," Elaine whispered, tears in her blue eyes.
"What happened?" Reese prodded.
"I started attending a new church right after Christmas. Every Sunday, week after week, the sermons, the worship songs, everything seemed to be tailored just for me. The Lord removed my tinted glasses, and I saw how prideful I had become and frankly, it scared me. I hadn't been praying, or reading the Word. Finally, my own stench got to me, and I committed several months to intense prayer, even fasting some. I put my life on the altar and told the Lord to take it all."
"And He lead you to retire from football?" Reese asked.
Burke stopped pacing and rested on an ottoman, elbows on his knees, shaking his head as if he didn't believe the answer either. "Dad, when you encounter the love of Jesus, everything in life pales. At least that's how it seemed to me. Last season I couldn't imagine ever leaving football. I lived the game. It consumed me. When I finally got quiet enough in my soul to listen, the Lord began to whisper to me in ways I'd never encountered before. He gave me a choice. I could continue in football, and He would bless me because He loves me and that's the kind of God He is, or I could take a new road He offered. It seemed to me to be a higher, narrower road. I knew my success would be measured by a different standard. So, I chose."
Silence. Everyone was lost in thought and reflection. Finally Elaine said softly, "You chose wisely, Burke."
"No glory goes to me, Mom. I just knew He'd called me to a new life," Burke said.
"What's next, then?" Reese wanted to know.
Burke did not hesitate. "I'm coming home."
"Here? To Haskell?" Dean asked, surprised
"Home. Haskell." Burke let out another stunning confession.
"Why here? Your home in Denver is lovely." Elaine asked intensely. "You have friends, a church family and an established life there."
Burke actually laughed as he thought of the reason. "Tyler McDermott and I'd been talking, reminiscing about old times when he suggested I come to the reunion and help him emcee the weekend events. Then I talked to Gates Fuller. You know, she still giggles like she did in high school? Anyway, it just hit me; it's time to come home. Truthfully, I've had a hankering to move back to Haskell for a long time. I could never figure out how to do it."
"Burke," Reese started in a fatherly tone. "You're a grown man and I'm busting my buttons over here to hear my son say he's choosing Jesus over fame and fortune, but coming back to Haskell, well, it won't be like coming home from college for the summer. This is a small town. We're simple people. You've lived a life some people only see on TV or at the movies. Will you be happy here?"
"Hush, Reese," Elaine interjected. "If the boy wants to come home, don't discourage him."
Reese continued with his serious tone. "In the fall, when your team is playing football, you won't be on the field. You'll be here in Haskell where the biggest events of the fall are the Fair and Homecoming."
"I know, Dad. Believe it or not, it sounds wonderful to me."
"How'd you get out of your contract?" Dean asked.
"My contract ended last season."
For the first time, Jack joined the conversation, an innocent desperation in his voice. "The Bronco's need you, Uncle Burke."
Burke chuckled. "You think so Jack?"
Jack nodded vigorously.
"That's like saying the Bulls could replace Michael Jordan," Jack reasoned with a moan.
Everyone laughed. "You have a point there, Jack," Reese commented.
Burke shook his head in sincere humility. "I appreciate the comparison, Jack, but I'm not football's Michael Jordan."
"Don't underestimate your abilities," Reese said.
"I never have Dad. You wouldn't let me."
Dean and Jack's head bobbed in agreement.
"I just want you to be sure, Burke. Though, I must confess, it's not like you to quit. Never seen you give up on anything you've put your mind to do."
"Well, that's not entirely true, Dad," Burke whispered, instantly reminded of a commitment he'd abandoned years ago. He'd rather face a line of determined defensive tackles than to look into Belle's eyes after twelve years. Elaine reported to him that she was the "Belle of the town" as a member of the town council, and was turning the Bar J into a successful business.
"What were you saying, Jack? Sorry, I drifted off," Burke said, realizing his nephew was talking to him.
"Dad said you were going to make a movie."
Dean corrected his son. "No, I said I read in the paper he might do a movie."
"Are you?" Jack asked eagerly.
"The movie is on hold. My agent is busy sending me sitcom scripts for guest appearances. One is to be a regular member on a sports parody show. Last night he called and said he'd lined me up with a few engagements this summer, but other than that…"
"Burke," Reese started, "you've been in the football limelight since you were in high school. What are you going to do with yourself?"
"I believe the Lord lead me in my career even when I wasn't serving Him wholeheartedly. I can't doubt Him now that I've completely laid myself open to Him. I believe he had something in mind before I took the challenge of the narrower road."
"Any ideas of what He might have in store?" Elaine asked.
"For one thing, a simpler life, Mom. Less of me, more of Him."
"The Lord's ways are not our ways. They are infinitely better," Reese said.
"Exactly," Burke agreed. "This is a step of faith for me. Don't misunderstand and think this has been an easy decision. I've struggled with God over this, but I have a profound sense of peace. And that is what I'm using to confirm my every move. I'm letting the peace of God rule my heart and mind."
"What about Grace?" Dean asked.
All eyes were on Burke, repeating Dean's question. What about Grace?
"She's trying to understand. We are at different places in our lives, which makes it hard. She's leaping into the height of her career, and I'm bowing out of mine."
"Will she move here eventually?" Elaine asked.
Burke grinned, the motive behind his mother's question thinly veiled.
"Is that your subtle way of asking if we are getting married?"
"You could do worse, brother," Dean said, teasing, a glint in his eye. "Much worse."
"The question is," Burke began slowly, "could I do better?"
Dean pondered his question. "Only you can answer that, I guess," he said after a moment.
Grace Peterson, Burke's personal Hollywood star. Despite all efforts to keep the relationship private, they had become the couple to talk about. He, as one of football's most eligible bachelors, and she as one of Hollywood's most beautiful and talented actresses.
Reese slapped his hands on his knees and stood. "Well, I'm convinced. Welcome home. It will be good to have you around for a while."
"Maybe you could come to our football practices," Jack suggested wildly.
Burke laughed. "I'd love to, Jack. I don't want to interfere with Coach Anderson's program, but I'd love to help out if he needed me."
Elaine stood beside her husband. "I'm sure the Lord will open that new door for you soon. His timing is perfect!"
Reese clapped his hands together. "Diamondback Steak House, on me!"
Cheers of agreement filled the room.
"Let me call home. Elise and Molly can meet us there," Dean said, reaching for his cell phone. He dialed his wife and daughter.
Burke agreed dinner sounded good, but suggested the family go ahead without him. He'd meet them there. "I got a few things to do here first."
He walked with his family out to their cars and waved good-bye, reminding them to order him a nice thick porterhouse steak, medium well, with a baked potato. He went inside and sat in his grandfather's prayer chair and closed his eyes. He prayed for a few minutes, listening and waiting, a peaceful habit he'd come to love.
His thoughts and prayers drifted to Belle. He winced as he imagined the confrontation that awaited him. Deep in his heart he understood that part of facing the future meant facing the past.
Mentally, he'd prepared to see her again, but he had to confess that the idea brought certain trepidation. For days now, he'd rehearsed various reunion scenarios, bracing himself for her reaction.
If she greeted him with anger, he'd remain calm. If she melted into a puddle of tears, he'd respond with tender words of comfort and regret. If she ignored him, he would subtly pursue her. And, if she demanded an explanation…
The thought moved Burke to prayer again. In the twelve years that had passed since he'd last seen her, he'd not forgotten the devastating way in which he'd left her. Yet, he struggled to connect with the feelings that had gripped him on that dreadful day. Time, and the Lord's forgiveness, had washed away the panic he'd felt then, and healed his own broken heart. Now, as he contemplated the only explanation he had to offer her, it sounded trite and hollow, void of good sense.
He sighed and got up from his chair, reaching for his car keys. The family would be waiting at the restaurant by now. As he walked to his car, his thoughts still trapped in the past, he wondered at how he could have caused Belle such an avalanche of pain.
Chapter Three
When Belle walked into the gym on Thursday, it had been utterly transformed. Hay bales lined the walls, and loose hay covered the floor. The tables were draped in bright red-checkered table clothes with shiny tin lanterns as centerpieces.
Overhead, thousands of balloons and streamers hid the steel beam ceiling. Meg Witherspoon, with her decorating committee, bustled about adding the final touches and setting placards on the tables.
"Meg, this is wonderful," Belle said, breathless.
Meg brushed a wild curl out of her eyes and smiled. "Thank you. It went smoother than I thought."
"Your crew has obviously worked very hard. The class will appreciate all you've done."
"I took the liberty of thanking myself. I put Tyler McDermott and his wife at my table. Also Burke." Meg gave Belle a sideways glance with raised eyebrows.
Belle turned away.
"Good for you. You can have the honors."
"Burke is bringing a date." Meg said without any preamble.
"Oh?" she said, feeling herself bristle. She wanted to act and sound casual, but the quiver in her simple "oh" gave her away.
"Gates told me today. Grace Peterson is flying in to join him."
"Grace Peterson is coming to our reunion?"
"Got the placard right here," Meg flashed a small pale green card in front of Belle's face.
She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "This reunion is going to turn into a circus."
"No, it isn't Belle."
"A U.S. Senator, a famous football player, and a Hollywood starlet. It's going to be a circus."
Meg stationed another placard, smiling as she said. "Well, it won't be dull, that's for sure. When we graduated, I never imagined that we'd have such famous alumni."
"Life is full of surprises, eh Meg?"
"I can't wait to meet her. I hear she is stunning."
"I'm sure she is," Belle answered.
Meg faced her with her hands on her hips. "Come
on, aren't you the least bit curious?"
She came back with a quick, "No."
"Well then," Meg started, holding up Belle's placard. "I have one last placard and it's yours. Where do you want to sit?"
"Anywhere but near the circus."
"You're the reunion chairperson, you have to sit at one of the head tables."
"Fine, but not at Burke's."
Meg agreed and dropped Belle's placard at the head of another table. "Are you going to speak to him at all?"
"Not if I can help it."
Meg started to scold, but instead she shifted her focus over her friend's shoulder and said softly, "You better decide quick, 'cause here he comes with Gates."
Instinctively, Belle glanced over her shoulder as the six-foot-three athletic form of Burke strode gracefully across the gym floor, a very jovial Gates Fuller walking beside him. She all but bounced with each step. When they reached Belle and Meg, Belle shot Meg a "help me" glance. Subtly, Meg stepped between her and Burke.
"Here's our first emcee," Gates said, overly sweet.
Belle dropped her gaze to the floor, her heart beating wildly.
"Burke, it's wonderful to see you," Meg said, greeting him with a slight hug.
"It's good to be home," he said, his voice smooth and deep. "I'm honored to be Friday night's emcee."
Covertly, Belle slipped around the small group and found a safe place among the bales of hay. Once out of sight, she buried her face in her hands and wept.
All the steeling of her heart, all the barricading of her soul crumbled at the first sound of Burke's voice. She let the tears come; tears of hurt, tears of anger, tears of frustration. Slowly, she sank to the floor, her back resting against a sweet smelling bale.
Lord, seeing him stirs up all the junk from the past. Give me grace to deal with him.
The tears flowed uncontrollably. Belle wept and prayed, pouring out her fears and feelings to the One who loved her most. Peace finally came just as Meg tenderly called her name.