Isaac
I glance at the clock. It’s three in the morning. Who the fuck is calling me at three in the morning? I have school tomorrow.
Eloise’s name lights up the screen and I can’t help the pang of panic that I feel. My thumb swipes over the screen before I can stop it.
“Elle?”
“Isaac.” She whispers my name and my panic increases. “I need to talk… to you.” Hic. Oh shit. She’s drunk. “Now.” Hic. Very drunk. “Okay?”
“Sure,” I say softly and sit up in my bed, gathering the pillows behind my back to make me feel comfortable.
“I… I’m scared.” Her voice is again no more than a whisper, but I hear the vulnerability behind it. “I realise that I’m being a child.” She slurs and I have to focus to keep up. “It can’t be normal to feel this way. It’s my own fault. I thought I had everything together. I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn’t and I don’t.”
“Okay.” I respond, spurring her to continue.
“What happens now? What do I do next? Where do I go next?”
“Now you’ve graduated?”
“Yes! Exactly!” She yells and hiccups again. “Don’t let me get so loud. I shouldn’t be so loud.”
“Why?”
“Silas is asleep.”
I clench my hand into a fist. Of course Silas would be there. “Have you thought about speaking to him about this?”
“He doesn’t understand me.”
“I’m sure…”
“Nobody understands me.”
“That’s not…”
“Only you understand me. You understand me right? You’ve been here?” Hic. “Right?”
“I have.” I rub my eyes and sigh deeply. “You’re suddenly no longer able to hide behind your learning. It’s all real now. I get it. That’s a scary thought. What if you don’t succeed in getting a brilliant job and you’re stuck working in a fast food chain for the rest of your life?”
“Exactly!”
“But Elle… this is you. You can do and be anything you want to be.”
“I don’t have a plan. I’ve been winging it. I thought my career would come to me.”
I hardly got a word of that. “What?”
“You know?”
Not really. “I do. Where are you?”
“I’m at my apartment. Everybody is asleep.”
I smile, wondering if she waited up just so she could call me. “Who’s everybody?”
“Silas, Damon, Kira and Hayley.”
“Tell me about your night.” I hear her clunking around, no doubt getting comfortable as I just did. “What did you do besides getting drunk?”
A giggle escapes her and it sounds so much like my Elle, the one I remember. “I got painted.”
“You got painted?”
“On.”
“What?”
“I was painted on by JL.”
I’m lost.
“And he won a spot in some kind of boy group and gets free drinks for the year.”
“I’m completely lost.”
She giggles again. “It doesn’t matter. I said goodbye to university life tonight.”
“And you don’t like how it feels?”
“It’s all so daunting. I wish…” I hear her breath leave her. It shudders and I wonder for a moment if she’s crying. “I wasn’t good to you was I?”
“What?”
“I wasn’t a good wife to you. I put too much pressure on you. I was never there for you.”
“Elle…”
“I loved you though.” She sniffs a little. “I loved you so much but I just wasn’t mature enough to deal with anything.”
“Elle, none of it was your fault.” If only she knew the truth. “None of it.”
“I was never enough.”
My heart shatters that she’d even think that. “Elle…”
Suddenly a third voice comes into the mix, a male voice that I recognise as Silas. “Elle? What are you doing out here? Come to bed.”
I hate him.
“I’m on the phone.” She responds and the phone rattles as she stands.
“To whom?”
“Goodnight, Isaac.” She whispers and he most definitely had to have heard her.
I want to scream at her to finish what she was saying but the line goes dead and I wouldn’t have anyway.
Why did she call me?
The morning comes but I can’t shake the call from my head. I don’t get the chance to dwell on it though as it’s back to work as usual. It’s the last day of term today.
I’m not sure if there’s much point me going in. The kids will be rowdy and defiant, not that anyone can blame them. The last day of school is rarely a productive one.
I’m going to take a book into work with me.
When I arrive and discover the noise level, I put the book away.
The only thing I do get to read throughout the entire day is a text.
Eloise: I’m sorry for calling you so late last night.
I might be reading too much into it but she only apologised for what time she called, not that she actually called. This is good.
Isaac: Don’t apologise.
Chapter Fourteen
Eloise
My knees are aching and burning from scraping the gloss from the skirting boards. I’ve been at it for too long but it has to be done. It’ll cost too much to replace them so I’m going to fix up the ones we have and fill in any gaps.
Everybody thinks I’m crazy. I’m just trying to keep busy when I’m not working.
Today’s break is a welcome one, despite the events leading up to it. I’m meeting Isaac and his solicitor to discuss the separation of our assets and I’m hoping it goes amicably. There is little that I want from him, very little.
I pull up into a parking space to the side of a large, dark stone building. My solicitor spots me from a few cars away and waves me over. We shake hands and she gives me a brief description of what is going down today. She asks me if I’m sure about my list before we finally enter the building.
Isaac stands with his solicitor in the lobby that oddly smells like play-dough.
He winks at me and kisses my cheek, giving me a subtle waft of his aftershave. It’s a new one. I wrap one arm around his neck for a brief squeeze and a deep inhale.
“Let’s get this show on the road.” Isaac’s solicitor says after we are all introduced formally.
We’re led down a long corridor before stopping at a door with a large frosted glass panel on the front. The door rattles as it’s opened and the floorboards creak as we step into the average sized office. I love old British buildings, they have so much character.
“I’m guessing you’re redecorating this building in your mind right now?” Isaac whispers as the solicitors set their paperwork out onto the table.
I smirk and nod. Whoever owns the building has it painted so drab and dull.
“Okay, so…have either of you discussed your terms outside of this room?” Isaac’s solicitor asks.
We both shake our heads, no.
“Okay, well hopefully we can reach an agreement today.” My solicitor puts in. “I’ll start with Eloise’s terms.”
“Go on.”
My solicitor blinks at the paper in her hands and then frowns at me. She leans in and whispers, “Are you sure?” Before leaning back.
Isaac suddenly looks wary and I try to give him a reassuring smile.
“I’m sure,” I say to her, though my eyes don’t leave his. I watch them harden as he expects the worst.
“She wants all of my fees covered and any costs pertaining to the divorce.” My solicitor shakes her head. “And she wants a signed agreement that you won’t come after her inn and try to claim it as your own. As you were both separated when she bought the inn but married, its ownership can be disputed.”
Isaac stares at me, gobsmacked. “You don’t want the house?” I shake my head. “Not even half of it?” Again, I shake my head. “Why?”
r /> “It’s your investment. I didn’t contribute as much as you did.”
“Like hell you didn’t!” Isaac yells and slams his hand on the table.
What’s his problem?
“Isaac is also relinquishing all ownership of the house to you.” His solicitor tells us and pushes his glasses up his nose.
“What?” I thought this would be straightforward. I thought he’d be grateful. “Isaac…”
“The house is yours, Elle.” He says gruffly. “Trust me.”
“But you put way more money into it. You bought it… I contributed a third at the very most.”
His eyes, now round with what looks like regret, stare into mine. “Take the house.”
“I’m not taking the house. The house is yours.”
“It isn’t.”
“It is.”
“Split it?” My solicitor suggests and both Isaac and I state “NO!” At the same time.
“You’re being an idiot,” I tell him. “This is a great investment, as you probably already know.”
“It’s your fucking house, Elle.” Why is he being so stubborn?
“Honestly, I can’t afford the mortgage payments if the current tenants leave. It’ll be more of a burden to me right now.”
Isaac’s lip disappears behind his teeth for a moment. “The mortgage is paid in full. There’s nothing but profit coming from that house now that it has been fixed up.”
“How is that even possible?” My hands begin to tremble.
“Shall we give you two a moment?” Isaac’s solicitor stands and nods to my solicitor. They vacate the room rather quickly, before either of us can respond.
“Isaac?” I prompt. “How is that possible?”
Isaac’s eyes glisten as he stares at me across the table. “You’ll never forgive me.”
“What do we have to lose? We’re already divorcing.”
“You’ll never forgive your father.”
Suddenly I don’t want to know, even though I need to. “What are you talking about?”
“I was in a bad place, Elle, remember that. It isn’t what you think. I was going to take the money, use it to pay off the mortgage and still see you. I had it all planned. You didn’t have to know about the gambling or the…”
“What money, Isaac?” He stands and makes his way around the table to me before taking the seat my solicitor just vacated. I feel his hand take mine but I pull away, too fearful that whatever he’s about to tell me is going to destroy my illusion of him and why we broke up, entirely.
“Listen…”
“WHAT money, Isaac?”
“Your dad paid me to leave you.”
Nausea bubbles up from my stomach and tears immediately fill my eyes. “What?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you, but you deserve to know.”
I watch him warily as my heart pounds against my ribs, looking for an escape route. “You’re not making any sense. Why would my dad pay you off?”
“He found out about my gambling. Elle, I was in so much debt.”
“So you sold me? You sold us?” I stand and take a step away from him. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because of that call two weeks ago. It broke me when you said you weren’t enough.” He looks genuinely upset but I don’t care.
“I loved you. I loved you with every fibre of my fucking being and soul, Isaac. I never… never would have left you if I didn’t have any other choice. I knew you were in deep but you didn’t want me anymore. And this is why? For money?”
“Listen…”
“No, you listen!” I yell as he stands and steps towards me. My hands hit his chest. “You fucking broke me for so long. Money meant more to you than me.”
“That’s not true! I just lost my way. I was never going to leave you, but my head… Elle, it was all fucked up. I wasn’t going to leave you but then you found out about it all and I couldn’t stand the way you looked at me. I couldn’t take it. I pushed you away and I didn’t come after you.”
“You told me you hated me. You cheated on me!”
“Damn it, Elle. I didn’t fucking cheat on you!”
There’s a knock on the door and my solicitor peeks around it. “We only have fifteen minutes left.”
“Elle… Please. Let’s do this another day. I want to explain myself to you.” Isaac begs, but his betrayal has ruined me. Fucking ruined me. “Please.” He reaches for me but I pull away.
“Don’t touch me,” I say and hold my hands up. “Don’t ever touch me.” I wipe my cheeks with my hands and nod at my solicitor. They both enter the room and Isaac doesn’t retake his seat for the longest time.
“Would you like to adjourn?”
“No,” I tell them, angrily wiping away more tears. “Isaac is keeping the house.”
“Elle…”
“I don’t want it. I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want any part of you, or of my dad. I’m done.”
“Just…”
“No!” I raise my hand to silence him. “Done, Isaac. After this meeting I don’t ever, ever want to see you again.”
He nods and waits for his solicitor and my solicitor to produce the forms necessary. We both sign and, as soon as I do, I stand and leave. I need fresh air. I need to kick something.
I need to throw up.
“Elle, wait!” Isaac’s hand wraps around my bicep. “I’m sorry.”
“Let go of me!” I yank my arm free and pull my keys from my bag with trembling fingers. They rattle before escaping my grasp and clattering to the ground. My jaw is quivering violently. I can’t cope with this. “I hate you.”
“I know.” Isaac grabs me again before I can reclaim my keys. “Please, let’s go for a coffee. Calm you down. Let me explain.”
“I am calm!” I lie. I’m far from it. I think I’m about to have a panic attack.
Isaac
I pull her to me, partly to calm the shaking of her body but mostly just because I want to hold her. She presses her face into my shirt and I feel her chest rise and fall quickly with each sharp breath.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her and press my lips to the top of her hair. “It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you.”
A sob leaves her and my heart breaks.
“Come with me. Come on.” I lead her to my car, ignoring the people who are looking at us. She allows me to do so and doesn’t protest when I lower her into the passenger seat and close the door. I didn’t want to let her go but I need to get her away from here so I can explain.
Her sniffles and stuttering breaths break me more and more with each one. I shouldn’t have told her. There was no need for her to know.
“I hate him,” she whispers, referring to her dad.
“I know. Me too.”
“I hate you.”
I give her a sad smile as her words cut me. I can’t argue because I deserve her hate. “I’m not worth the energy that hate requires.”
She searches through the dashboard for a tissue. I still keep them in the same place.
“I should go back to my car and go home and never speak to you again.” Her voice is thick with emotion.
“You should, but I really need you to hear me out.”
“Why? What does it matter?”
“I let you walk away believing you weren’t enough once. I won’t let that happen again.”
She doesn’t protest so I put the car into gear and set off, though for where I have no idea.
For a long while we drive around Cambridge with no destination in mind. I don’t speak and neither does she. Silent tears leave shiny trails down her cheeks and each tear that falls takes a fragment of my heart with it and no doubt hers. Her hands clench into fists so tightly I’m surprised her nails don’t slice her palms.
I finally find a quiet looking cafe and scour the streets for somewhere to park.
“I don’t want to get out,” she says softly and wipes her nose on the tissue. “Can we just talk here?”
I nod and roll down the wind
ow a fraction to let some fresh air circulate. “Do you want a coffee? I can run in and grab two to go.” When she nods I place my hand on her leg and stare deeply into her eyes. “Please wait here. I won’t be long.”
“I literally don’t have the energy to go anywhere else, Isaac.”
I believe her too and wish I could take the burden of her pain. Pain that I inflicted.
Making sure her drink is sweeter than usual, with the hopes that the sugar will bring her mood up, I grab them to go and run back to the car. A large part of me thought she’d run and never look back so when I find her still sitting in the car tapping away at her phone screen angrily, I’m relieved.
“Are you texting your dad?” I ask, despite it being none of my business.
She ignores me and continues tapping at the screen.
“Maybe you should wait until we’ve spoken.”
“Will it change anything he did?”
I can’t say yes because it won’t. He’s guilty in this, even more so than I.
“Talk,” she says and cups her drink between her hands.
“I was a mess, Elle. I wish I’d confided in you but my brain blamed you. I felt… I felt trapped and scared.” I admit and then sip my own drink. It burns my tongue but I welcome the sting. “It wasn’t you. It was my decision to marry you, my decision to come after you in France. It was all my decision. You left and you were moving on. Only I can be blamed for that.”
“We both married each other, Isaac.”
“I’m not finished.” I place our drinks in the cup holders and take her hand in mine. “I was addicted to gambling. I thought it would solve all of our problems. I was desperate. I was in that stupid fucking casino almost every night after work.” Her tearful eyes watch me patiently, even though I don’t deserve it. “I was an idiotic, pathetic excuse of a man. I know that now, but at the time all I saw… all I could see was you and what I’d given up to be with you. Your dad made my life a living hell, Elle. He made every day at work intolerable. He was a fucking bully and he belittled me every single chance he got.”
“But you said…”
“I know I lied to you. I tried to hide my misery because he had me by the balls. I couldn’t work anywhere else and I couldn’t leave. He knew it. I knew it. He utilised it.”
Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 Page 14