“I always suspected but I was so happy to hear that you were both getting on I didn’t open my eyes.” She squeezes my hand. “I’m sorry he did that to you because of me.”
“That’s not your fault. Don’t apologise for that.” I implore, hoping she doesn’t twist this round onto her. “I made friends with Tony and he introduced me to the casino. We got on great but he had a thing for Petal. She worked at the casino.”
“I want to claw her eyes out.”
I smile a little. She just openly admitted to still being jealous about that. “Nothing happened between us. We were all drinking and she literally climbed onto my lap. I pushed her away but Tony had already taken pictures. He gave them to your dad, who gave them to you… it’s all old news. You know the story. It’s just things got worse after that. Tony and I got into that argument and I cracked him one.”
“I remember, you lost your job.”
“I spiralled. I wasn’t in a good place. We had no money left and we were about to lose the house. I couldn’t admit to you that I hadn’t paid the mortgage for months without admitting that I had a problem.”
She runs her hands through her hair and takes a drink of her coffee. I see the wheels turning behind her eyes as she recalls everything I’m saying. “I wasn’t going to leave.”
“I know. I didn’t want you to, but your dad made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He wanted me out of your life. He hated me. That man has serious control issues.”
“What offer?” She frowns, clearly wanting me to get on with the story.
“Fifty thousand, enough to pay off the mortgage in full and keep us going until I could get a new job.”
Her carefully blank eyes linger on me for the longest moment. “You sold me for fifty grand?”
“No! No… I was going to get my own back on your dad. I said I was going to do it but I wasn’t going to leave you. I just needed him to think that. I thought if I could make you feel like it was legitimate then he’d believe it too. I had to fool both of you.”
“But…”
“I planned to come for you the next day. There was no way your dad would be able to rat me out for not leaving you properly as promised without ratting on himself. Meanwhile, my mum was put in a home and my dad was bad… I wasn’t coping. I thought I could juggle it all and then you found out about the mortgage arrears and I knew you wouldn’t believe anything I said.”
“Why didn’t you come after me like you planned?”
“Honestly… I hated you.” Her telling gasp makes me hook my hand around her neck to stop her from pulling away from me. “I projected all of the bad shit inside of myself onto you. I wasn’t coping. I was depressed and fucked. You were my outlet. When you said you were leaving I felt… I felt relief.” Her bottom lip trembles. “But then I calmed down for a few days, paid off the mortgage and realised I had an issue. I needed to become a better person. I needed to stop doing the things I’d done. I promised myself I’d tell you what your dad did as soon as I got out of rehab.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I was going to. I came to Cambridge on business about something. I was planning on visiting you that week; it had been six months. I’d been in rehab about two months and I’d lost myself in various projects and hobbies when I was released. I needed to be the best version of myself if I were to ever get you back.”
Eloise
Holy fuck. My heart begins to beat again. The shattered fragments slowly start to piece together.
“But you didn’t… because you thought I was with Damon?”
“Exactly.” I see his pained expression. “I left you alone because I knew you were better off without me. I still wasn’t the best me anyway. You broke me that day in the restaurant but I needed to hear it. You broke the parts of me I didn’t like.” He laughs a little and brings my hand up to his lips. “I’m sorry for everything. I was horrible to you. I didn’t treat you the way I should have and, for that, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Me neither… I should never have…”
His eyes widen. “Should never have what?”
“Nothing.” We pause for a moment as I try to collect my jumbled thoughts to stop me from saying things I don’t mean… or things I do.
Fortunately he doesn’t push. He probably understands that my mind is a mess right now. “You believe me?”
“I do,” I say because I do. There’s no lie in his eyes. There’s no deception in his voice. He’s finally being honest with me when he doesn’t have to be. “I’m trying to understand. The circumstances weren’t great.” As my heart hammers painfully and my limbs tense as I try to control my emotions, I bite my tongue, willing myself to remain calm. “I appreciate you telling me.”
He shrugs and moves away, finally sitting back against his seat. “I owed you that much.”
“You did,” I agree and shift back into my own seat. “What now?”
“What now?”
“What do I do now? How do I deal with this? How do I get past this type of betrayal?”
He doesn’t answer, but then I don’t expect him to.
“I want to be angry,” I admit, feeling the twinge of fury in my head and heart. “I want to yell at you. I’m so…” Taking a calming breath, I close my eyes for a long pause, collecting my thoughts. “I want to punch you in the face.”
“If it would make you feel better.” He suggests, pointing to his jaw.
I roll my eyes. “Can you just take me back to my car?”
Nodding, he pulls his seat belt into place and puts the car into gear. “I am truly sorry that you were used in such a vicious game.”
He can say that again. “Me too.”
“If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please just let me know.”
“Do you ever…?” I start to say but stop myself. “Never mind. I just… I need to clear my head.”
“I understand.” He looks at me solemnly before finally driving away.
Chapter Fifteen
Eloise
Hayley skips around the room like a crazy woman, checking every single detail whilst making sure all of the tables she’ll need will fit. Tyler stands beside me looking as amused as I feel.
I have to admit, this side of the wedding isn’t so bad. Picking and choosing everything from flower arrangements to centrepieces sure gets tedious, but it’s fun too.
“Can you imagine? The light, pale green among the white and grey. Peach coloured flowers in the centre of each table. Gift bags, the lot. Everything will match.” Her eyes darken and her tone becomes insidious and low. “Everything.”
“I’m going to pretend that she hasn’t been possessed,” Tyler chuckles and snatches her into his arms lovingly.
I take notes of everything she just said. That’s my job, to make sure the wedding goes smoothly, so I need to know her vision for the day. Which is eight weeks away. What is she playing at?
Eloise: Why did I agree to be maid of honour?
Damon: Because you’re insane and look amazing in pastel colours.
Eloise: Do you even know what that means?
Damon: Nope.
“Umm… hello? Pay attention,” Hayley snaps playfully and clicks her fingers between the phone and my face. “Who are you talking to?”
“Damon.”
“The bastard that can’t come to my wedding?”
I roll my eyes playfully. “It’s not his fault you booked it the same weekend that he’s in Bulgaria.”
“Fucking rich kids,” she snaps and Tyler whines a long, “Hey.”
She pats his cheek lovingly. “Not you baby, not you. Just them other bitches.”
Eloise: Save me.
Isaac
One thing I love about weddings is that it gives me an excuse to purchase a ridiculously expensive, tailored suit. I also take my two other favourites in to be tweaked. I’ve lost a bit of weight around my midriff so they’re all loose.
“You should seriously consider wearing suits more often,
” Jocelyn says, her voice slightly crackly through the receiver. I have the phone propped up on a chair in the corner of the dressing room, the camera pointing at me so Jocelyn can see me from wherever she is in the world today. “They really, really suit you.”
“I used to wear suits all the time.” And then my mum got ill and I left them all behind, not wanting to stand out like a sore thumb when I began teaching History in my mum’s place.
“What?”
“Never mind,” I yell so she can hear me, then I turn to the camera and hold up a red tie beside a blue tie. “Which one?”
“Neither. Get a pale green one to match my dress.”
The tailor fetches one for me and places it in my hands. I tie it around my neck, making sure it sits perfect and neat in the centre of my chest before showing myself to the camera.
“Gorgeous.” She makes a kissing noise and winks at the camera. “Okay, so I’m at the supermarket. I’m going to go because people are looking at me like I’m crazy.”
“You are crazy.”
“Details…” She blows another kiss. “See you later, alligator.”
“In a while, crocodile.” The screen goes back to normal as the phone disconnects. “I’ll take it.”
The tailor nods with a smile and sets about helping me remove the suit.
Eloise
My dad is calling me again but I don’t answer. I can’t speak to him right now, or ever for that matter. He doesn’t know that I know what happened. Nobody knows. Not even Hayley knows what’s going on.
It’s a heavy weight to bear on my shoulders but I haven’t yet decided how I feel about it. As soon as I figure that out, hopefully I’ll come to a decision on how to deal with it all.
Or that’s my plan at least.
Fortunately since it happened I haven’t seen much of anybody. I’ve been working hard at the inn, which is coming along beautifully, and I’ve been working hard in the nightclub where I took a job to keep the cash flowing.
Everything is so fast paced now that I’m out of university. Time is flying and I don’t know what I’m going to do next.
I’ve become obsessed with thinking about my future. It’s not healthy, the stress I’m putting on myself, but at the moment I’ve got a ton of money going out and not much coming in. This is why I’m glad Silas is my partner in all of this. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have been able to buy the inn in the first place.
My phone rings again and I pick it up, even though I don’t recognise the number.
“Hello?”
“Hi, can I please speak to a Miss Eloise Blackburn?” A gruff male voice asks politely; his accent definitely holds a Scottish edge to it.
“Speaking.”
“Excellent.” He clears his throat and I hear the phone rattle. “I’m calling with regard to the application you put forward to work alongside Professor Matterson.” My heart skips a beat. “Unfortunately we can’t offer you a position on his team at this point in time…” My heart just broke. “But we would like to offer you the opportunity to work alongside Gregory Hamish. We feel that your particular talents would better suit his vision. You were the first candidate for Matterson’s project and your University Professor has spoken very highly of you, but your work just doesn’t fit with his style.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.” I can’t believe this. “Gregory Hamish… The Gregory Hamish?”
“You’re a fan?”
“A huge fan. This is such an honour.” I run my fingers through my fringe before gripping it tight. The pain reminds me that I’m not dreaming.
“I’m glad you think so. I’ll email you the details right away.”
“Thank you so much. This is amazing! I didn’t realise Mr Hamish had an apprenticeship available or I would have applied.”
“He didn’t. Professor Matterson called in a favour.”
I should thank him somehow in the near future.
“I’ve sent the information over. If you give it a read and then email or call me with your response within the week, that would be brilliant.”
“I will.” I don’t even need to see the information to agree. “Thank you.”
“Take care.”
“You too.”
As soon as the call is disconnected I scream and I jump, startling the men working on the windows behind me. I don’t stop, even when Silas comes racing in. I grab his shoulders and keep on screaming.
Isaac
I’ve never been so bored in my entire life. I’m so bored I went out and bought a games console but have yet to figure out how to make it work. I’m not that old am I?
The summer holidays need to end tomorrow. I can’t take four more weeks of shuffling back and forth between Boston and Lily Hill just to occupy myself.
I’m also kind of glad that I’m bored though; it means there’s no drama. My mum isn’t doing great but she’s better than she was.
Speaking of which…
I pick up the spoon she just threw at me. “Mum. Really?”
Where does she keep getting these from?
I’m startled when Eloise comes into view looking beautiful in a grey, floating summer dress that stops above her knees. A cardigan hangs loosely from her elbows and sunglasses rest on top of her head.
I watch as my mum instantly moves to her and wraps her in a tight hug. She kisses her cheek multiple times before releasing the red head, picking up a plastic cup off the table and throwing that at me too. The entire time she mutters about trains and hopscotch under her breath.
Eloise smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes.
“She can be so funny.” I say, eyeing her warily. Then I add, “She hates me.” Elle doesn’t respond and my hands begin to sweat. She mutters to my mother and they both smile at each other. “Well, she loves you.” I throw the cup at her and it bounces off her ample cleavage. It was probably not the best or most mature of ideas, but at least she reacted to my presence with a glare.
“You look lovely.”
“You have rice pudding on your trouser leg.”
“You can thank my mother for that one,” I sigh and wipe at it with a napkin. She doesn’t even consume food. I don’t know where she got the spoon from but she’s always finding them. “I didn’t realise you were coming today.”
“I wasn’t supposed to be or I would have called ahead, but Hayley needs me to check the dress fitting and order the flowers from the florist in town so I thought I’d stop by.” She stares across the room, her teeth worrying her lower lip. Now that my mum has settled we both also settle into an uncomfortable silence.
“Is everything okay?”
Her eyes cut to me, the green sparkling with a frostiness I’m certain she’s never directed my way before. “Fine.”
Oh no. That word. I fucking hate that word. “Elle…”
“I should go.”
My body tenses. “Don’t.”
“I don’t know how to be around you.” Her admission breaks my heart.
“Is this about what I told you?” Her answering shrug confirms my assumption. “I’m sorry, you have no idea how sorry, but I thought you knew that? I thought we were okay.”
“Okay?” She asks incredulously. “My entire marriage ended up being a fucking joke. Not only have I lost my husband because of the men in my life, but I’ve also lost my dad, my mum, my family home, my marital home…”
“I know.” And hearing her say out loud just how bad of an effect I’ve had on her life makes me hate myself so much more. “I’m sorry.”
“If you’d just come to me,” she hisses, shaking her head angrily. “If you’d just been the man you promised me you’d be, we wouldn’t have… you wouldn’t have…” Her palms hit her thighs. “I can’t talk about this. Not here.”
“I’m not that man anymore. I’ve changed.”
She scoffs, clearly disbelieving me.
“I swear it. I lost my way for a while.” I take her hand and bring it to my lips before pressing my forehead to her kn
uckles. “If I can ask for just one more chance from you. Just one. Let me prove myself.” I bring our hands down and stare into her eyes. “Let me prove to you that I can at least be a decent person. A decent friend.”
Something shifts in her; her shoulders sag and her chest deflates. She pulls her hand free and sighs deeply.
I take this as permission to try and lighten the situation and attempt to change the subject. “How has everything been since graduation?” I’m an idiot.
“Surprisingly good. I start an apprenticeship with Gregory Hamish in three months.” Her lips twitch and I feel the energy around her slowly twist into something more positive.
“Who?”
She blinks as though I’m crazy and I hope he’s not somebody she’s told me about before and I’ve simply forgotten. That isn’t going to score me any points right now. “He’s a legend in the world of architecture. He restores old buildings and transforms them.” I listen intently as she describes and shows me the buildings he’s done and how it is she came to suddenly be in his employ.
I’m so proud of her. “You’re amazing, Elle. Proof that hard work pays off.”
“Thanks.” She looks so young when she smiles like that. “I’m so excited. I’ll be going up to Scotland for a while.”
“That’s amazing.” I place my hand over hers and smile warmly at her. Our eyes meet and I feel as if I’m being sucked back in time. The urge to lean forward and kiss those perfect, plump lips is overwhelming. But then I remember where I am and what we are to each other and I especially focus on everything that has transpired between us. Which brings me to another matter… Jocelyn. I should cancel on her to avoid this with Elle, but if I want to show Elle that I can change, I need to start moving on.
“I umm…” I remove my hand from hers. “I have something to ask you, while you’re here.” I’m screwing this up already. I’m going to push her away. I mentally slap myself. “Well, not ask, but tell.”
Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 Page 15