Beyond Doubt (Beyond Love Series #2)

by Bolton, Karice

  Yeah, right!

  Obviously our ideas of ‘soon’ differed greatly.

  “Well, you better start believing it because Aaron hasn’t left your side from the moment the accident happened,” Lily explained, touching my hand. Her touch didn’t actually feel nice. My nerves were on end, and the slightest contact seemed to set off a nerve-ending revolution. But I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I stayed still, focusing on the flowers surrounding me.

  “I made him leave to clean up…about ten minutes before you woke up. We have all tried to get him to sleep at home, but he wouldn’t hear of it. See that chair? That’s where he’s spent his days and nights. He’s probably been away from you two hours at the most and that counts this little excursion.”

  I squinted at the object in the far corner that Lily was pointing at, but I couldn’t bring it into focus. It just looked like a light beige blob. Everything looked like a beige blob. And I felt like a beige blob.

  “Really?” I whispered, hoping that would lessen the pain in my throat.

  It didn’t.

  “Yeah, really.”

  “Where are my parents? Are they back from Ireland yet? They didn’t cut their trip short, did they?” I asked. “My brothers, do they know?”

  Thoughts were flooding through my mind at a rapid pace, and I felt like I couldn’t sort them quick enough.

  “They’re on their way,” she assured me. “They’ve been here with Aaron most of the time, but they’d at least go home to sleep and eat. Your parents were here this morning but left to take care of their dogs.”

  “How dare they,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

  I looked around the hospital room and even though everything was fuzzy, I could tell that I had been here too long. There were flower arrangements on every surface that was available, along with balloons, stuffed animals, and chocolates. I also spotted three of my favorite blankets, two folded over the chair and one across my hospital bed. I shifted in the bed and my body ached all over. Maybe more meds would be on the way.

  “What day is it? Shouldn’t you be at work? I need to get back to class.”

  “It’s Sunday.”

  I caught tears surfacing in her eyes as she squeezed my hand once more.

  “I’m going to be okay,” I told her.

  Truthfully, I had no idea what okay was at this point. I had several specialists in and out of my room, and I didn’t think they expected me to be able to hear or comprehend anything. But I did. And it scared me. Their idea of okay and mine were vastly different. I was reminded of this as I attempted to move my legs.

  “How’s our girl?” Gabby asked, entering the room. I moved my head slowly, in an effort to make the pounding lessen. Jason was with her, holding her hand and guiding her through the maze of tables and chairs.

  “Spectacular. I can’t wait to try to ride again,” I said, smiling.

  Jason laughed. “I’m not sure Aaron would love to hear that.”

  I noticed Gabby taking in the extent of everything from tubes to cords to casts before Jason’s hand moved to the small of her back, interrupting her trance.

  “I was so worried,” Gabby said, releasing Jason’s hand. She placed both hands on the railing and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

  “I thought Aaron would be here,” Jason said, looking around the room.

  “I forced him to go home and change,” Lily explained.

  An overwhelming feeling of anxiousness began to waft through my body. The room felt extremely stuffy, and the tubes and cords anchoring me to this bed made me want to scream. Was this normal?

  “Brandy, what’s wrong?” Gabby asked, brushing my hair from my face.

  “Would one of you guys take a pic of me on your phone and let me see it?” I asked.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lily answered, shaking her head.

  “It probably is a horrible idea,” I confirmed, “but I still want it done. I want to see what you all are seeing.”

  Lily and Gabby traded glances before I saw Gabby slowly remove her cell from her purse. She let out a deep sigh and went to the foot of the bed, trying to hold the phone just right.

  “I’m not tall enough,” she said, glancing at Jason.

  His jaw tightened as he looked at her and then looked at me. He was over six feet tall so I knew he’d be able to get the angle just right.

  “Please, Jason? It was me who helped you in the beginning with Gabby. Remember the bikini accident? You wouldn’t have gotten such a wonderful image to forever hold dear without me.” I turned my head to Lily who was chuckling lightly. “Don’t you think he owes me?”

  Lily nodded in agreement and Jason’s face lit up.

  “You’re right. Definitely right,” he said, grabbing the phone from Gabby.

  He took a quick pic and showed it to Lily and Gabby, who nodded slowly.

  “Let me have it,” I said, moving my arm to clasp onto the phone. A slight tug of the IV in my hand reminded me not to move too quickly.

  “Here you go, hun,” Jason said, smiling.

  Grabbing the phone, my curiosity turned to shock. I imagined what I might have looked like lying here, but it never looked this bad. My left cheek was scraped, but a scab had lightly formed across the new flesh, and my other cheek was bruised, but it wasn’t purple. It had now made it to the yellow-green phase. Instead of seeing all of my hair, I saw some of my hair and a white strip of gauze wrapped around my head. I spotted a few of the strays that Gabby had pushed away. Seeing this puzzled me considering I didn’t feel any pressure around my head. It didn’t feel like there was a wrap there at all. My head pounded, but that was an internal sensation not an external one. There was also a tube leading to a bag, which no doubt explained why I didn’t have to get up to use the restroom since I awoke.

  Lovely!

  I looked tiny in the narrow, white hospital bed for the most part, but the large bulge around my waist was a dead giveaway. The blanket from home was laid on top of my feet, but that didn’t account for the large mound.

  I gave Gabby her phone back and lifted my blanket to see the light blue hospital gown stopping at the knees where the cast on my right leg was visible.

  “This sucks,” I sighed, dropping the blanket back down.

  Lily and Gabby laughed nervously as Jason shook his head.

  “We’re just so happy you’re here,” Gabby whispered. “You gave us all a scare.”

  A melodic female voice cut through the air as Jason stepped to the side, letting her through. “How are you feeling, sweetie? Nice to have you up and in the world.”

  I watched the nurse make her way to my bed with a solution bag and syringe in hand. Her red hair was pulled back into a severe ponytail, and her yellow scrubs had blue stars all over them. She was about forty and her features were soft, kind. But my heart rate quickened as I watched her begin to reach for one of the tubes to inject the syringe solution into.

  “Please. I don’t want to go back to sleep. Please, let me stay up,” I pleaded.

  “Oh, sweetie, I think the worst is over. This,” she said, showing me the syringe, ”is only to keep the inflammation and swelling down. And this is how you get your nutrients.” She dangled the bag in front of me.

  “Sorry,” I muttered.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for, my dear.” She removed the cap off the syringe and pushed the liquid into the opening. “I should have explained as I went. Now, how are you feeling?”

  “Groggy. My head’s pounding and my nerves feel like they’re ready to explode. But other than that I’m doing really well. Will I get to leave soon?” I asked, smiling.

  The nurse shook her head and laughed. “I have to leave that up to the doctors, but I will tell you that since we removed you from the ventilator, your progress has been amazing. We just need to keep the swelling going in the right direction,” she told me as if I was supposed to know what she was referring to. And the frustrating part was that I think I was supposed to kno
w. I felt like someone mentioned it, but I just couldn’t pull it out of my memory.

  “Groggy. My head’s pounding and my nerves feel like they’re ready to explode. But other than that I’m doing really well. Will I get to leave soon?”

  The nurse stiffened, and I caught the glances between Lily and Gabby. What was the matter? Did I say something wrong? The nurse quickly wrote something in my chart, and my anxiety level was about through the roof. I obviously did something worrisome, and no one felt the need to tell me what it was.

  “How’s my baby girl?” I heard my mother’s voice ring out into the room, and I had never been more relieved to have an interruption.

  “Mama,” I squealed, seeing my dad right on her heels as they came to my bed.

  She pressed her palm gently to my forehead just like when I was a little girl.

  “Daddy,” I whispered, as he stood right next to my mom, watching me.

  I watched the nurse exit the room, and Gabby and everyone began to follow her out into the hallway to give us time.

  “You, baby girl, sound absolutely beautiful, your voice is a miracle to hear,” my father replied.

  “How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?” my mom asked, her eyes cascading down the hospital bed as if she was checking everything out.

  “My throat hurts. And my head. And I’d like to get the hell out of here.”

  “That’s my girl,” my dad said, taking a step back. “Where’s that fella of yours who wouldn’t take a hike?” A smile spread across his lips as he watched my expression change to embarrassment.

  It was always so weird to me that no matter how old I got my dad could always make me feel like a little girl. It was puzzling.

  “You mean the one she brought to our anniversary party?” my mom teased, gently reminding him that I’m not twelve any longer.

  “Lily said she forced him to go home and change,” I said, feeling a warmth spread through me. Maybe what Aaron and I had really was special. Maybe it would last.

  “Can you tell me what all is going on?” I asked, searching my mom for answers. “I know doctors have been in and out making notes and doing a mess of things, but I can’t remember everything I heard.”

  “Your body’s been through a lot,” my mom said, pulling up a chair. “If you hadn’t been wearing a helmet…”

  “What your mom’s trying to say is that you’ve been through a lot, but the prospect is looking really good. You’re looking really good.”

  “I appreciate the vagueness, but I’d really prefer particulars. I’m not guaranteeing I’ll remember them anyway. I’m guessing I broke my leg.”

  ”Yeah, that you did. And your pelvis.” My mom sighed and shook her head. “Your body was thrown off the bike resulting in a head injury that produced extensive brain swelling. You also had internal bleeding that wasn’t easy to track down. You had a puncture wound in your back that was very difficult to treat. It’s healing now…”

  My mom looked over at my dad as tears filled his eyes. “They had to relieve the swelling of the brain so….”

  A horrified gasp escaped my lips as I tried to formulate everything that they were telling me.

  “The bandage?” I raised my hand to my head. “That’s why it’s…”

  “You were kept in an induced coma until enough swelling had gone down in your brain,” my father replied.

  I’d had enough for the moment. I didn’t want to hear anything else. I slowly craned my neck to see through the opened curtains. The gray sky reminded me it was fall.

  “My school?” I asked, swallowing hard. Law school was never known for being kind to individuals. In fact, anything that could help weed out the weak in their mind was doing them a favor. I was sure this qualified. “Have I missed much?”

  My lids were getting tired, and my eyes were going out of focus even more than before as I thought about the heaviness of everything.

  “We’ll let Aaron tell you about that,” my mom smiled. “You look like you need some rest. We’re going to go down to the coffee shop. We’ll be back.”

  I smiled and slowly nodded, my eyes closing, just as I saw an image come into my room. But it was too late. Sleep found me first.

  I awoke suddenly, feeling like the room was spinning, and I was about to lose it. My pulse was off the charts as I tried to calm my breathing. My head no longer pounded, but I was completely disoriented as I looked around the space trying to place exactly where I was. I looked down, recognizing the familiar tubes and hospital blanket and immediately began to calm.

  I was safe.

  It was dark outside and the lights had been dimmed, and from what I could see, the room was empty. I slowly reached my hand up and felt the gauze still wrapped around my head and let out a deep sigh.

  “Baby, you’re up,” Aaron’s voice was soft, tender as he quickly rose from the seat he’d called home since I’d been admitted. “You’re drenched.”

  He gently touched my arm, his fingertips running down the length of it. His touch felt nice, and I was relieved that no pain followed.

  “I think I had a bad dream.”

  “Let me get you a cool washcloth,” he replied.

  I watched him wander off to the restroom and heard the water running for a few seconds before he returned with a bright white washcloth. He began patting it along my forehead and down my cheeks to my neck.

  “Does that feel better?” he asked.

  “It feels nice,” I whispered, looking at this shell of a man. He was still the most attractive man I’d ever laid my eyes upon, but this accident had definitely taken its toll. He had circles under his eyes, and it looked as if he’d lost a few pounds.

  “I thought I lost you, baby,” he whispered, tracing the pad of his finger along my jawline. “I didn’t know what I was going to do…”

  The desperation in his voice sent chills through me.

  “I’ll never let another minute pass by without telling you how I really feel. I love you, Brandy. I’ve loved you since the moment you told me to grow a pair.”

  I started giggling and looked up into his eyes. “I love you too.”

  “I have never been so scared in my life,” he said. “And I’ve seen some shit.”

  I smiled and nodded slowly. “I kept telling you I’d be fine. Do you remember?”

  His brows pulled together. “When?”

  “After I fell off the bike, I told you I loved you and that I could see you even though you kept telling me to open my eyes. I told that to everyone who was there, but you all ignored me. I remember getting so frustrated because everyone acted as if I wasn’t aware and talking.”

  Aaron moved the washcloth along my collarbone. “Honey, you were struck unconscious instantly. You weren’t awake.”

  “I heard you tell me you loved me. I heard you asking me to hold on. I saw everything that was going on. There was a medic dressed in a white button-down and blue pants who initially treated me, and then there was a really scary-looking female tending to me.”

  Aaron pressed his lips together for a moment and nodded. “That’s all true. I should have given you more credit. It makes me feel better knowing you heard me talking to you. And you’re right about the female. She was quite something.”

  “I’m still surprised you stuck around,” I whispered, barely teasing as I looked up at him.

  His eyes focused on mine as a smile spread across his lips. “What faith you have in me.”

  “I’m just familiar with your track record,” I muttered, reaching up to grab his hand. “I’m a realist.”

  I attempted to squeeze his hand, but my fingers felt so weak in his that I let him hold my hand instead.

  “You had me so worried,” he repeated, leaning over me. “But it’s nice to have your feistiness return with a vengeance.”

  Even in my sorry state, I couldn’t help but feel the charge from him. How I had resisted him for so long I’d never understand because right now all I could think about was being in his
arms.

  “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I tried to brake, but—”

  “Don’t apologize,” he scolded me, his eyes tender as he took me in. “I never should have let you ride in front…”

  “Since when have I ever asked for permission?”

  “True,” he acknowledged, spotting something out in the hall. “Looks like you’ve advanced to solid foods.”

  “Great. I can’t even imagine how horrible the food is going to be.” I glanced at the male aide who was bringing in a brown tray with a covered plate and chocolate milk. I tried not to laugh as he placed it on the adjustable table.

  “Good evening,” the aide said. “The menu for breakfast and lunch is under the plate. You can fill those out to order. Tonight’s meal was chosen for you since it’s your first one.”

  “Yay me. What delicious meal do I get to look forward to?” I laughed.

  The aide smiled and turned around, leaving the room. “I’ll let you be the lucky one to find out.”

  Aaron lifted the metal lid off the plate and tried to hide his grimace. “Looks good. It looks to be a fish of some sort… with a sauce,” he said, smiling and grabbing a fork. He pushed the prongs into the meat, and scooped up a pale glop and took a bite. “Okay, maybe not fish but chicken. Definitely chicken. And it’s not bad.”

  “That’s just what all you visitors say to make us poor souls feel better,” I joked.

  He grabbed the milk and quickly guzzled it down. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that to you. I’ll go check with the nurses to see if they have a sandwich you can have instead. They usually keep a stash in the fridge.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Worse, actually.” He half smiled and headed for the nurse’s station.

  I watched him walk up to the counter, waving and smiling at the three women who were stationed there. He had the same effect on them that he had on just about all women. There was no doubt. He would get the sandwich, and I was quite relieved not to have to eat the slop on the plate in front of me.