Beyond Doubt (Beyond Love Series #2)

by Bolton, Karice

  “How long will you be there?”

  He let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead. “Anywhere from one to three years.”

  I couldn’t say anything. Instead I just looked at him as the world I had constructed slowly began to crumble away.

  “I’m so sorry, babe. I love you so much and—”

  “If you loved me, this would have been a more troublesome decision for you,” I interrupted. “But I can tell you things are staring to fall into place for me. I was just your pity f—”

  “Don’t say that,” Aaron yelled. “That’s complete bullshit.”

  “Is it? When are you leaving?”

  “Monday.”

  I started shaking my head, laughing. “You wanna know something completely pathetic? I’ve been daydreaming and planning about how to make your life better. How to make a life for us… I’ve even been planning an amazing Thanksgiving dinner for you that you won’t be here for.”

  “Baby. Please, listen to me. I’ve been trying to find a replacement to send.”

  I crossed my arms in front of me. “You’re trying to tell me that you couldn’t find someone else to send in your place? Please. I wasn’t born yesterday. You were always off-limits. I just chose to ignore it. You’ve got needs that I obviously can’t meet,” I muttered. “I wanted you to let me in your heart, but I’m not even sure you have one.”

  Aaron’s jaw clenched as I scooted away from him.

  “I’ll get my things out of here by the end of the week.”

  “Please. Don’t leave. You can stay here. Everything’s set up here for you. Jackie’ll be here and—”

  “Jackie? Oh, that’s great,” I replied sarcastically.

  “Listen. I don’t know what you want me to do or say.”

  “That right there is what’s so sad. You don’t have a clue. I thought we had something, shared something special. But I was wrong, and I’m suddenly feeling sorry for Nina and everyone else who fell under your spell. But please. Don’t worry about finding a replacement because there will be no one to come home to anyway.”

  I stood up quickly and felt lightheaded. My leg was aching, but I wasn’t going to let that slow me down.

  “I’ll sleep downstairs tonight. And I’ll pack while you’re at work.”

  I glanced at Aaron and instead of seeing any regret or sorrow, I saw the same hardened gaze that scared me from day one. The look that told me I was never special. I was just one of many. I had been officially placed in his lineup.

  I had the music pounding and was packing up the last of my boxes. I glanced up and scared the shit out of myself when I saw Aaron staring back at me. I saw a hint of a smile and pushed away the delight that tried to force itself into my psyche.

  “You’re usually done by this time of the day,” he said, his voice distant. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

  I glanced at the clock in the kitchen.

  Shit! It was a quarter past six o’clock. I was so in my zone I didn’t even notice. Usually by now I was already at my place beginning to unpack.

  “Sorry,” I said. “Time slipped away from me.”

  I saw a shadow come from the powder room, and my jaw fell to the floor as a tall brunette walked into the room. Her hair was in a chignon, and she wore a pencil skirt with a tight-fitting, white sweater. She glanced at Aaron and followed his gaze to me.

  “Hey. Sorry. I was just leaving,” I said, reaching my hand out to Aaron’s latest victim. “I’m Brandy.”

  “I’m Cheri,” she said, shaking my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  I couldn’t help as a smile spread across my lips at the realization that I was damn lucky to get out of this with Aaron before anything worse happened to me, mentally or physically.

  Aaron’s voice interrupted my self-congratulatory mood, “Cheri is my translator for my trip.”

  I started laughing and locked my gaze on Aaron’s. “I bet she is. I’ll just leave these boxes for tomorrow and head out.”

  The collision of emotions that were piling up inside of me were threatening my sanity, and I knew I needed out…like now. I might be able to keep this smile plastered on my lips for another two to three minutes—tops.

  Cheri, the translator, smiled as I limped out of the room, and all I wanted to do was punch something as the pair of eyes filled with sympathy watched me hobble to the door. This wasn’t who I was. But this was exactly who he was.

  The ache was spreading from muscle to muscle as I tried my damndest to keep my limp to a minimum. I, at least, had some shred of dignity left, even though he managed to crush most of it. The cold air blasted my face when I opened the door, and the moment I closed it, the tears unleashed. I walked as quickly as I could without tripping or feeling like my leg was on fire when I heard the door open behind me.

  Damn him!

  “Hey, Brandy. Wait up.”

  Yeah, right!

  I opened my car door right when he pushed it closed.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, staring at him.

  He put his arms on each side of me locking himself in front of me.

  “It’s not what you think,” he muttered.

  “I don’t even know what I think, Aaron. But to be honest we aren’t together any longer so I’m pulling up my big girl panties and trying to ignore just how easy I was to forget.”

  “Brandy, she’s just a translator, and I haven’t forgotten about you. In fact, I can’t think about anything but you,” his words carved the pain deeper into my heart. I had to break free of him. “I’m lost without you.”

  A gutted laugh left my lips as I looked into his eyes.

  “You promised me you’d never leave my side. I remember it. I remember a lot of things you said that day,” my voice caught in my throat.

  I never wanted to utter the words I heard him say. I never wanted to bring it up. I thought when the time was right he would. That he would ask me to spend the rest of our lives together. Instead, I was greeted with him moving halfway across the world to escape his demons, or maybe just embrace them.

  Maybe, I was as delirious as everyone thought that day. Maybe, he never said anything to me. Maybe, I had imagined it all just as I’d imagined being able to talk, shout, scream, and move that day…

  I wasn’t going to bring it up. I had more pride than that. If he wanted to leave, he could leave. Who would I be to stand in his way, especially when he’s already got the next hottie lined up?

  “This was scheduled over a year ago… before I even met you. I’ve been trying to get out of it any way I can, but I told you I haven’t been able to find a replacement. I’ve tried to get my father to—”

  I interrupted him, “You know what’s the saddest part of this whole thing?” I narrowed my eyes at him, hoping that would stop the tears from falling. “Is just how much your mother screwed up your life. You’ll never trust any woman for the rest of your life because of what she did to your dad. And I just feel sorry for any woman who thinks she has a chance with you…A chance to change you because you’re a lost cause. So runaway to China, Aaron. That’s what you’re best at.”

  I spun around and opened the door again and slid in my seat. He took a step back as I slammed my car door. Aaron was frozen in place, like someone had just dumped ice water on him.

  I put my car in reverse just as Cheri opened the front door, sticking her big brunette head out the door, motioning for Aaron to come inside.

  And that’s when I heard him finally speak, looking directly at me.

  “I’ll be right in there, babe. Just seeing off my guest.”

  Exactly what I thought.

  “I knew he was a jerk,” Mason said, as he helped to unpack a box.

  “He’s confused. His family hasn’t had the best track record of handling their personal business.”

  “That’s no excuse,” Mason said.

  I sighed. “You’re probably right.”

  “You deserve someone who wants to be all in with you. No matter what. I have to b
e honest…The way he stood up and took care of you after the accident, I thought it was a done deal. Mom and dad even thought that you guys…” he stopped.

  “That we’d what?” I asked, narrowing my eyes on Mason.

  “It probably doesn’t matter at this point, but Aaron had asked dad if he could have your hand in marriage. He said it was something he promised you while you—”

  “Say what?” I dropped the dress off of the hanger and stared at Mason.

  He nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

  “What did dad say?”

  “Yes, of course. We really all got fooled.”

  “Tell me about it. I still don’t want to believe it.”

  “What’s Gabby say about everything?”

  “She’s been staying away, which makes me sad. I think she feels guilty that she spilled the news, but I wouldn’t have known until I got a postcard from him, apparently. What little she did tell me was that she knew that the thing between her father, mother, and Bernie screwed him up, but she never guessed this was how it would end.”

  “It’s amazing how parents do things that literally screw up the course of their children’s lives…”

  “He definitely has trust issues with women.”

  “Ayden and I wanted you and Lily to come out with us tonight…try to get you to forget about everything.”

  “You mean drink my sorrows away?” I asked. “No thanks. That never leads to good things for me.”

  Mason cut through the box for recycle and shook his head. “Just a plan.”

  “Thanks for being there for me.” I smiled.

  “I’ll always be there for my knucklehead.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and laughed.

  “I’m gonna grab some chips or an apple,” Mason said, walking out of my room. “When did you say Lily was getting here?”

  “Any second.”

  I sat on my bed and stared around my room, feeling like a stranger in my own space. I let out a sigh and thought about what my brother said. There were no words to even describe what that news just did to me. Marriage? And then this? I laughed as I realized it was just another one of life’s cruel jokes that I could toss into my pile of shattered dreams. At this rate the pile would turn into a mountain and crush me in the next few years.

  I grabbed my new phone and scrolled until I hit Gabby’s number. I had taken a cue from her past relationships and had gotten rid of my phone and got a new number. And I was thankful I’d done that or I’d be texting Aaron right about now. I understood why she did it now. It really took away the desire to send a text or leave a message that would end up a drunk dialing souvenir.

  But that still didn’t stop me from texting Gabby.

  Did you know your brother was going to propose?

  I tossed the phone aside and looked around my room. Maybe, it just needed a new color to brighten things up a bit. My phone buzzed and I grabbed it. Worried what the message might reveal, I took a deep breath in and looked down at the screen.

  I helped pick out the ring

  My heart was pounding, and the tears came pouring down my cheeks just as Mason appeared with a plate.

  “Want an apple?” he asked, shoving the plate in front of me.

  My tears turned to laughter as I looked up at my brother.

  “Call Ayden and tell him I’m coming to party tonight.” I smiled, rubbing the tears off my cheeks.

  “You look absolutely amazing,” Lily said, fastening the strap on her heel.

  “So do you.”

  Lily was dressed in a light green, tight dress that showed off all of her assets. Like always her outfit wasn’t overly revealing, but her body certainly made it that way. Anyone who danced with her tonight would be loving the view. I looked down at my black dress and silver flats and was pleased.

  “This is the first time I think in the history of going out to a club that I’ve worn flats,” I laughed.

  “Wise choice, my friend. I’m not sure any of us will be in a position to scoop you up if you fall on your ass tonight.”

  I laughed and dabbed on a bit of lip gloss as I caught Lily looking at me in the mirror. “You’ll forget about him. You will. It will just take some time and plenty of good lays.”

  “Lily.” I threw my gloss at her, but she ducked in time.

  “I feel really horrible, like I was the one who told you to keep after him and all he was ever capable of was breaking your heart.”

  “Don’t feel horrible. To be honest, feeling what I did with him reminded me of what it’s like to be truly alive, enjoying the moment. All that stuff. Now I’ll just try to find it with someone who might be on the same page as me.”

  “Or the same continent.”

  “That too. But seriously, I don’t regret one second of being with him.”

  She nodded and smiled.

  “I’m sure you don’t regret being with that guy from high school,” I said softly.

  “You’re right. Not at all. It’s just a hard thing to recreate.”

  “But, at least, you know what you’re looking for,” I said.

  She shrugged. “What a great idea Mason and Ayden had.” Lily was always game for going out, and I was sure she was relieved that we’d be out in the city tonight rather than cooped up in my condo. “Is Gabby coming?”

  I shook my head. “I didn’t think to invite her.”

  Lily nodded. “Probably for the best. We’ve got four single people ready to party. She’d just hold us back.”

  “Right,” I said, laughing. I glanced at myself in the mirror and was pleasantly pleased. Without the boot, I started feeling human again and was actually looking forward to going out.

  A whistle came from the door, and I turned to see Ayden leaning against the frame. “A little short, don’t ya think?”

  I started laughing and tugged on my dress. “It’s not like Lily’s.”

  Ayden nodded. “I guess I should be grateful.”

  “Hey, now,” Lily laughed.

  “Ready?” Mason asked.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Lily said.

  “We have to stop in the kitchen first. We’ve got two shots each lined up for us all to get the night going,” Ayden said.

  I let out a groan and felt my body being pushed toward the kitchen.

  “What are these?” I asked.

  “Our specialty,” Mason laughed.

  “So anything you could find.”

  Ayden nodded. “Pretty much.”

  Lily did the first shot and puckered her mouth, squealing. “Whoa. That was hot. Your turn.”

  I grabbed the glass and swallowed the shot in one gulp, hoping the liquid would get me well on my way to forgetting about the love of my life.

  “Next,” Mason hollered, shoving the second shot glass in front of me.

  I took a deep breath in and swallowed, hoping that would take away the bite but it didn’t. It tasted as bad as the first time.

  “Club Vertigo here we come,” Lily shouted.

  And we were off to a night full of forgotten memories and relived sorrows.

  “So here we are enjoying a girls’ night on a gorgeous fall evening. Next time, I’ll come down to Portland. Maybe we’ll even rip Gabby away from Jason.” I stretched my arms along our balcony railing as I looked over the city landscape. “Remember when the girls’ nights involved all three of us?”

  Lily started laughing. “Our Gabby seems to be a bit infatuated.”

  “Can’t say I blame her. Jason is beautiful and such a sweetheart. It was fun on my brothers’ property though. All three of us…”

  Lily picked up her empty glass off the table and began walking toward the French doors. “They seem like a really good fit.”

  “It seems impossible to find, and I have to admit that I kind of wonder how much fate and destiny play in all of our lives. I mean will I ever find that one perfect man who will show me what Jason has shown Gabby? How does someone get Mr. Right to show up? In fact, sometimes it feels like cer
tain courses of events are already predetermined for my lifelong venture into singledom. I just want that one man to sweep me off my feet. Is that too much to ask?”

  The door clicked, apparently giving me my answer, and I started chuckling to myself. Great. I was getting all philosophical and talking to myself once again. This was what my life had become.

  I closed my eyes and drew in a slow breath as I felt the cool evening air kiss my skin.

  And then I heard his voice from behind penetrating me to my core. “I hope you’ll let me be that one man, Brandy. I never should have left. I’m so so sorry.”

  His smooth, deep voice wrapped around every cell in my body as his words sunk in. My heart flopped upside down as I let myself believe that there possibly could be a chance.

  Aaron slipped his hand around my waist sending a charge up my spine, and I leaned on the railing for more support. Bringing his lips close to my ear, he whispered, “I think fate already has been working hard in both of our lives, don’t you?”

  His words sent a chill through me as I felt his mouth lingering next to my lobe, each breath skating across my neck. I didn’t know what to say. My heart wanted to say yes. Scream from the top of my lungs, YES! But my mind was winning over my heart; the fear replacing desire with every passing second. I stood frozen until his hands slowly turned my body to face his. I stared at him with wide eyes, uncertain of what to say, uncertain of how to feel.

  I stood, taking him in, letting myself believe that he was actually here. My hands ran up his black suit jacket, my fingers grazing his cheek. He looked down at me waiting for my response. I closed my eyes, trying not to be swayed by how good he looked in his suit and crimson tie. I didn’t want to keep repeating the past.

  “Do you agree?” his voice was low and strong.

  Feeling the strength I needed, I opened my eyes. “Do you? You seem to be the one struggling.”