In a Moon Smile

by Coner, Sherri

  “What about you? Do you have plans for New Year’s?” Becca asked as she poured wine for them both. “What’s going on with Dalton?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” Chesney shrugged. “Like I told you, he kissed me on Christmas Day and he has never been back. He’s a weird guy, really, almost as weird as me.”

  They both laughed for a moment and Becca grabbed Chesney’s hands. “I want to tell you about something,” she said in a shaky voice. “I want to tell you a story about my life that I have never told anyone. I feel ready to tell it now though, because I really think I can finally put this bad memory in the past. If I couldn’t put it away, I wouldn’t ever be able to love Deke this way. I want to tell you the story, Chez because you’ve always known how bitter and mean I have behaved toward most men.”

  Though her stomach was suddenly churning, Chesney squeezed Becca’s hands and said, “You can tell me anything, Bec, anything, okay? And I will never judge you or leave you or hurt you in any way. You know that, right?”

  Becca nodded. Tears were already streaming down her face as the memories of her sixteenth year and the relationship with her math teacher, Mr. Wildman, flooded into her chest. Becca started the story by explaining her mother’s death and her father’s reaction, which was to unplug from everyone emotionally and drink himself to death. Then Becca slowly offered the bits and pieces that turned into details. She was surprised at how difficult it was to say Russ Wildman’s name out loud. By the end of the story, Becca was wrapped in her best friend’s arms and they were both crying.

  “Poor baby,” Chesney whispered as she held Becca’s sobbing body. “You can’t be hurt anymore from that awful experience. You have to let it go, sweet. That guy was a pedophile. You were a victim. You are not in any way responsible for the suicide. You deserve to have a happy, safe life, Bec. Do you believe me? Do you know that you deserve to love and be loved? In a healthy way?”

  Becca felt exhausted, totally drained. She only nodded as a response to Chesney. Her tears continued to fall, even when she tried to control them. In an odd way, it seemed that pain was seeping from her skin. She fell asleep on Chesney’s shoulder.

  For most of the night, Chesney remained on the couch, gently stroking Becca’s hair and staring into the fireplace. Her heart hurt for the long years Becca lived in such a tragic torment. She felt anger rise from her throat toward the math teacher. Of course, he had carefully picked Becca as his plaything. She was grieving her mother and the loss of her brothers and the safety of a family. She was grieving the fact that her dad left her emotionally. That son-of-a-bitch Wildman took advantage of Becca’s broken heart. Chesney closed her eyes, trying to get past the fury she felt. She was glad the guy was dead. She was thankful. That way he could never groom another little Becca. He could never ruin another young woman’s life. Now that Deke had come into Becca’s life, Chesney knew that Becca would someday get past that awful memory. She had already seen Becca’s eyes soften. She had watched her rush into Deke’s arms. Deke had patiently chipped away at the protective shield Becca lived all of her life behind. To say she was grateful to Deke would never even begin to explain how Chesney felt about his presence in Becca’s life. Her best friend had lived more than a decade with haunting guilt and shame. Finally, Becca had a new beginning. She had a safe place, for the first time in her life. Through her silent, grateful tears, Chesney smiled.

  “You will always be safe now, Bec,” she whispered. “From now on, you will be safe and loved. I promise that.”

  Chapter Thirty-two

  On the first February day of the new year, Charlotte called Chesney. She and Cooper had attended several marriage counseling sessions. They had participated in a retreat weekend for couples in crisis. They had worked through a long list of problems and spent New Year’s Day in the tropics. The end result was that they both wanted to remain in the marriage. They were on their way to Bean Blossom to take their child back to her family. Of course, Chesney was happy for them. She was thankful that her niece would spend her childhood in a two-parent home. But Chesney wished she had prepared for this day. Just to think about her day-to-day life without Piper’s sweet presence was painful. Thank goodness Piper was napping. By the time Charlotte and Cooper arrived, Chesney had to somehow find a way to cope with her good-bye.

  “I’m so proud of you for opening your own design business, Char,” Chesney said softly as she tried harder to breathe and calm down. “I don’t want you to allow Mom to guilt you about it, either, okay? There are lots of women out there who discover they need something more than motherhood. You are not, in any way, a shitty mom or a shitty wife, just because you choose to build yourself a career. Got that? Do you understand what I’m trying to say to you, sweet? I’m trying to remind you not to let Mom take away your happiness and excitement. Do you promise to protect yourself from her?”

  “I certainly do,” Charlotte laughed on the other end of the phone. “A few days ago, Cooper and I both sat down with Mom and Dad so that she could immediately see that we are a united front. I explained that I will work from home a lot, especially as I take time to build a client base. But also, Piper’s getting old enough to enjoy preschool.”

  “And? What was their response?”

  “Actually, I was shocked,” Charlotte said. “Cooper and I were both shocked. They seemed to be very relieved that we are not divorcing. They were ecstatic to hear that Piper is coming home. They were very supportive when I told them that I am going back to work. Weird, huh?”

  “Well, yeah,” Chesney laughed. “It is weird, but it’s also awesome. I’m so thankful that you aren’t dreading future interactions with our parents. You sound wonderful and I can’t wait to see you!”

  “We’re maybe an hour away,” Charlotte said. “And I’m so sorry about this, Chez, but we heard this morning about a winter storm, so we can’t stay and visit. We’ve got to get Piper and head back to the airport. Hopefully we can get a flight back to Chicago before the airports start shutting down.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,’ Chesney lied. “I should maybe go through my pantry and make sure I have enough of everything. Since the storm is moving from the south, you have a good chance of getting back north if you hurry.”

  When the call ended, Chesney moved through the house, gathering Piper’s toys and packing her clothes. Her eyes stung as she wondered about how empty the house would feel when Piper was gone. She wished it was closer to springtime, that way she could lose herself in landscaping and gardening. But no, spring wasn’t close at all. And if the weather reports were even remotely correct, Chesney Blake would not be leaving home for several days. On the TV, the expected storm was described as blizzard conditions. She tiptoed into Piper’s room to gather her shoes and socks, coat and mittens. Piper’s blonde curly head popped up and she smiled brightly. She stood up in the crib and held her arms out to Chesney.

  “Hi, Cheeky.”

  “Well, hello there, sweet girl,” Chesney’s lips trembled as she walked across the room to change Piper’s diaper.

  Do not start to cry in front of this baby girl. Do not make things difficult for her. You knew this day would come. So buck up and behave.

  With the safety gate secured on the landing, Chesney put Piper on the floor and made a decision about how to dress her for the flight back to Chicago. “Come here, cutie pie,” Chesney grabbed Piper as she made a run from the hairbrush. “Don’t you want to look gorgeous?”

  “No,” Piper shook her head.

  “I love to give you ponytails. So let’s surprise Mommy with those, okay?”

  “No no no no.”

  Ignoring Piper’s refusal, Chesney expertly created the cute little ponytails, both with tiny pink bows. “Wow, you’re a pretty girl,” she said.

  “Wow,” Piper repeated. In a hurry to get away from any additional grooming needs, a shoe fell off her favorite doll’s foot. “Oh, damn it.”

  “Oh, Pip, let’s not say that word anymore. It’s not a nice word. Mom
my will not appreciate the fact that you added it to your vocabulary.”

  She carried Piper downstairs, let her down in the parlor and went to the kitchen to start some coffee. “Mommy and Daddy will be here soon, Pippa,” Chesney said lightly. “You missed Mommy and Daddy, didn’t you? And then you will see Nana and Papa, too.”

  With too many toys in her chubby arms, a stuffed horse fell on the floor. Piper immediately kicked at the horse and added a loud “Damn it.”

  “So you’re kicking your babies and cursing,” Chesney sighed. “Your mom will think you have turned into a little devil daughter.”

  Ignoring her aunt’s lecture, Piper carefully placed her doll and a stuffed alligator in the baby carriage. “Bye-bye, Cheeky.”

  “Bye-bye, Pippa,” Chesney waved. “Don’t be gone very long. Remember, Mommy and Daddy will be here soon.”

  When she heard their car coming down the lane, Chesney’s emotions began to smother her good intentions. She hurried to the door with Piper giggling on her hip. “Look who’s here!” Chesney said excitedly. “Mommy and Daddy are here, Pip.”

  Piper’s face lit up as both of her parents hurried from the car to the front door. Within seconds she was giggling from being so loved. Cooper and Charlotte were both crying. When they pulled Chesney into the embrace, her tears escaped.

  “We love you so much for helping us,” Cooper said as Chesney broke away from the group hug. “Chesney, you are the reason we could work on our marriage. Knowing that Piper was safe and loved meant that we could address our problems.”

  Chesney could only nod. She felt like she might choke to death if the two love birds didn’t just shut up, grab their baby and get out of here before she lost her mind.

  “Our trip to Fiji was a perfect way to bring in the New Year,” Charlotte said. “It was a second honeymoon.”

  Chesney only nodded and smiled. She tried not to think about the way she spent New Year’s Eve. On that evening, after she put Piper to bed, she treated herself to a huge bowl of buttered popcorn and watched re-runs of Sex and the City.

  “We can never thank you enough for what you’ve done, Chesney,” Cooper said as he carried the last box of Piper’s toys to the car.

  “Be happy,” Chesney said in a trembling voice to her sister and brother-in-law. “That’s all I want for both of you. Be a happy, healthy family for little Piper.”

  “I love you, Chez,” Charlotte said. “I hope you will...”

  “I will,” Chesney nodded. “I will visit soon, Char. I promise. But now that you’re taking Piper home, I’ve got to schedule a trip to New York. And I’ve got to get back on track with my next project.”

  “It’s time to say good-bye to Mama Cheeky,” Charlotte said and Piper looked at Chesney with big, blinking eyes.

  “Bye-bye? No,” Piper shook her head.

  “I feel the same way, Pippa,” Chesney said as her eyes filled again with tears. She nuzzled Piper’s sweet, chubby neck and kissed her nose. “I love you, Pip.”

  “Chez, I feel so rude just stopping in here long enough to get Piper,’ Charlotte said.

  “It isn’t a problem at all,” Chesney said. “The last time I listened to the news, the forecasts sounded even more serious so you should get going.”

  The little family started out the door, with Piper snuggled in her coat and hat. A raw pain shot through Chesney’s heart. Piper realized that something different was happening. And the something different did not include her aunt. She immediately turned into a scream machine, wailing so loudly that it seemed to echo in the snow-covered stillness.

  With heartbreak in their eyes, Piper’s parents stared at Chesney. Did their daughter hate their guts? “Don’t forget that she’s only two years old,” Chesney said lightly. “I’m sure she will calm down when she realizes that her babies and other toys are in the car.”

  Trying one last time to get her way, Piper yanked the cute knit hat off her head and threw it on the snow-covered ground. “Oh, shit. No bye-bye.”

  “Okay, so… there’s something to work on,” Chesney shrugged. Cooper and Charlotte hid their laughter from their cursing toddler. After Cooper strapped the screamer into her car seat, Chesney leaned in and kissed Piper on both eyelids and her nose until she started to laugh. “See you in a moon smile, baby,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Before noon, the sky began to spit huge snowflakes. As the winds increased, the snow flew sideways. Soon after Charlotte and Cooper left with Piper, Chesney spoke to both of her parents on the phone. They were warm and loving. They were excited that everything worked out well. They were happy that Charlotte and Cooper wanted to save their marriage. They hadn’t seen Piper since Thanksgiving.

  “We’re feeling withdrawal symptoms,” Lyle Blake said with a laugh. “Until Piper went to stay with you, we saw her a couple of times a week, sometimes more.”

  “She’s grown a lot,” Chesney said with a smile. “She’s talking a lot more.”

  “Yes, Charlotte called from the Indianapolis airport,” Madelyn Blake chuckled. “She told us that little Miss Piper has added a couple of colorful words to her vocabulary.”

  Chesney laughed even though tears were forming again on her heart. “Yes, she has a little bit of a potty mouth. She spent a bit too much time around her aunt.”

  “It was right for you to keep Piper,” Madelyn’s voice was soft on the extension. “Your dad and I understand now why Charlotte made that choice, Chesney. I also understand what Charlotte was trying to say to me. I understand that she was falling deeper and deeper into depression. I didn’t listen well, did I?”

  You didn’t listen at all.

  “I’m sure you enjoyed your time with the baby,” Lyle added.

  “I love her dearly,” Chesney bit her lip to hold back the tears. “I already miss her.”

  Soon after the call ended, Chesney decided to make a huge kettle of soup. From the weather reports, she saw a great possibility that she might lose power. So she gathered candles and a couple of flashlights. She bundled up for the trek through the snow, to bring in more wood for the fireplace. But just as she unlocked the backdoor, the phone rang again.

  “Do you need anything?” Becca asked.

  “No, but thank you, Bec,” Chesney said. “I think I’ve got everything I need. Char and Cooper came early this morning to take Piper home. Looks like they got a flight north just in the nick of time. I’m just hanging around, making soup and listening to the calming sounds of some good old Kenny G.”

  “Deke wants to know if you want him to come and get you,” Becca said. “That way, if we do lose power, at least we will be here together. We don’t want you to all alone over there on that ridge, Chez. Deke said if we get all the snow and ice that has been predicted, it could be several days before anyone could get up that lane to help you.”

  “I’m fine, Bec. Really,” Chesney smiled, happy to hear that wonderful coziness in Becca’s voice. “While you adjust to life in Bean Blossom, I will be over here enjoying the solitude. During the next few days of quiet, I plan to cook and bake and write.”

  “Do you really think I can adjust to being here?” Becca asked in a near-whisper. “Every time Deke asks me, I always say yes. But he won’t stop asking. So maybe he thinks I can’t survive.”

  “Deke’s just looking for some reassurance,” Chesney said. “After all, you know it’s a huge transition to make. But you’re strong. You’ll be very happy here. Just remind Deke of the wonderful qualities that help you be successful wherever you happen to land.”

  “Call if you need anything,” Becca said. “And Deke will attach a sled to the dogs and try his best to get to you.”

  Chesney laughed, repeated that she was fine and hung up the phone. The skies were dark gray and the wind was now howling across the ridge with such a force that Chesney struggled to open the door. “Oh no,” she said to Blossom. “You can’t go with me this time. You stay right here in the warm house.�
�� Shoving on the door to get it open enough so she could get outside, Chesney then struggled to free the wheel barrel which was partially buried by a snow drift. “Wow,” She said under her breath. “This is some crazy stuff. If this weather sticks around for too long, no one will see me until July.”

  She soon realized the wheel barrel was useless since the snow was already too deep. It was impossible to easily push the wheel barrow to the barn then fill it with fire wood. She had no other choice but to pile as much as she could carry in her arms, one load after another. A tiny trickle of fear eased its way along her backbone as Chesney looked toward the pond. Visibility was so bad from the heavy wind and snow that she could hardly see the bank around the water. She hurried to carry a load of wood back to the house. By the second trip to the barn and back, her cheeks were numb. Her lips were wind burned. She moved as quickly as she could through the drifts, but fell a couple of times. A coating of ice was forming on top of the snow. Chesney threw the wood inside the backdoor and hurried back to the barn, knowing that if she didn’t move fast, all kinds of ugly things could happen.

  I could freeze to death out here. What a very unattractive way to go. Maybe Dalton would find me dead with frozen snot on my face and ice chunks in my hair. Stop thinking. Keep moving. Just move as fast as you can. Get as much wood as you can. If you don’t keep working, maybe the drifts will be so high that you can’t get out of the house. And maybe you’ll lose power and freeze to death inside the house because you didn’t have enough fire wood. Stop thinking about all the tragedies. Just keep moving. Don’t stop hauling wood. Yes, your arms are aching. They feel like they might fall off. But there’s nothing else you can do. You’ve got to get wood in the house. You’ve got to get a lot of wood.