Lovefool (Introduction)
Page 26
#25 DAMAGED
She was crushing down internally. Nobody noticed it, but her heart was beating so fast that it could have easily jumped out of her body. She already knew what is going on, but she couldn't explain it. As one of officers asked her to identify herself, she showed her ID and they told her, she had to go with them to the police station. She just wanted to get some minutes alone in this room. They left her alone in there with two officers at the door waiting for her. They said she could take as much time as she needed.
At this moment time stopped for her. Everything seemed to be much slower than it should be. She could even swear she was hearing police officers talking but their words were hard to understand, because they were talking so slowly.
With her own speed, she went from one room to another and looked at the mess. Almost everything was pulled out of the wardrobes. The furniture, most of it elegant and distinguished, usually closed and hiding all the personal things from a stranger's eyes, was now revealing everything, naked and ashamed. She could feel a kind of satisfaction in the air. It was the satisfaction of someone she already knew, but she couldn't remember his face. She knew it was a guy. The same guy that already walked through her memories. He was here. He left her a message, but she couldn't read it. She could breathe in his satisfaction by every step in this apartment. She could feel much more emotions around. She felt angriness and bravery. However, satisfaction was the strongest of all. She felt very insecure and lost, but not terrified. She was overwhelmed by all the emotions she could perceive in these rooms, as if these emotions were described on sticky notes and as she could see all of them and read them.
Mia was upset to have lost her aunt, but she didn't love her enough to be devastated by her death. She was still able to think rationally and to analyse the situation. It was part of a riddle she had to solve as fast as possible. She knew this was just a beginning and it was a part of his plan. She wasn't scared, but she was quite insecure and it made her feel like being a three-year-old girl again. She felt lost and crushed, because she had lost her family now. She lost her future and her dreams and there was no return. This stranger was tied to her fate and he made mistakes, but she was paying the price.
It was a strange feeling to be able to sense his presence but not to see him. It was weird to see the usual order has come out of control. She asked herself: Did my aunt suffer? Why did he miss me? Was he waiting for me and killed her instead of me? What was his plan?
Mia looked around once again. It was so quiet and calm now. She let herself drop on the floor and sat down in between all these muddled, chaotic things that were so familiar to her. Here her aunt's blue dress, over there a part of the wardrobe and she was sitting on a blanket, which used to lay on the couch. She closed her eyes and saw her parents waiting for her with open arms. They were smiling and calling for her. However, this wasn't the time for going into their direction. It wasn't the moment for being weak. She had to keep the faith. She had to keep up her hopes. Faith wasn't always based on logic and experience. Doubts didn't have the same basis either.
Mia was very scared. Apparently, the true test of character is not if we know how to manage certain situations, but how we behave when we don't know what to do. She wasn't prepared for this. She was so not prepared at all.