Lovefool (Introduction)

by Amalia Angellinni

#70 ANGELS

  -It is hard to explain and I don’t know where to start.

  Julian laid on the bed and she laid her arm on his belly and steadied her head on her hand. She was observing him very carefully, while he was staring at the ceiling.

  -It is hard to explain what I am. –Julian repeated and continued only after a while. - There is no word in any human language that describes me. It is strange to talk about it with anyone, because it is not easy. There is a legend that says that a long, long time ago, people and my species were living together like brothers. In fact, we are brothers. We look similar. At that time, harmony and peace ruled the word. It was like a paradise. Everyone tried to help each other and there were no enemies. Sweet, perfect harmony. Men were going hunting, their women were taking care of the children and we were playing with the kids as well. We were helping men to make fire and to build villages. They told us about their discoveries. Sometimes, we went with them into the woods and watched them hunting. Sometimes, we stayed in the villages helping women to sharpen their knifes. We travelled from one human village to another and were always welcome. We were not a big group. There were just three dozens of us. The wisest of us were two souls, which we barely saw. They appeared shortly and unexpected. They never spoke a word. They connected with us through their thoughts. They never showed up together at the same time. They were always laughing truthfully and respectfully and everybody appreciated them. They sometimes took part in meetings of the human Wisemen and they understood each other perfectly.

  However, there was one of us who thought that people aren’t good enough to live with us at the same level. We were much stronger, much wiser and much faster than people. He started to play out people against our wise souls. He knew that people can’t read minds. We do. We can read minds of people and animals. That skill has to be trained. If we’re not trained, we aren’t allowed live around people. We have to be able to focus on important things. People think much, but most of their thoughts are unimportant. There are sorrows, problems, hopes, wishes... If you can’t deal with it and if you can’t make out the important thoughts, then you are not allowed to live between humans.

  -Reading minds? – She repeated surprised.

  -Yes. Reading minds, it is quite interesting. I don’t even have to look at a person to read his or hers mind. It is like watching TV. I can see pictures or movies; it depends on what the person is thinking about. If someone has a wish, then I will see what that person is wishing for. In addition, the more precise the wish is the more accurate is the picture. If someone remembers something then I can see it like a movie, if the memory is good, or like a picture, if the memory is fleeting.

  -And you can read my mind, too? – She wondered.

  Julian looked at her and smiled confused. She was looking so unbelievably insecure at this moment.

  -Mia, you look sweet.

  -You didn't answer my question. – She noticed.

  -Oh, right. That’s actually one of my questions. So far, I was able to read the mind of every person I met, but you are the first one, who doesn’t allow me to get into your mind. I can’t understand it and I would like to ask one of our Wisemen about it, but I can’t. That would betray your existence and they would notice your knowledge about us.

  -I am not buying it. – She said. – It’s impossible.

  -You’re impossible. You have already seen so much and you doubt about this one thing? - He was laughing. - We’re going out. – He said and it sounded like a command.

  -No, I want to hear the story! - Mia opposed.

  -It’s too late. Anyway, it is better to explain it in practise. Trust me.

  She was unsure whether he was joking or was being serious right now, so she didn't move. But he quickly sat up and delicately lifted her and put her to her feet on the floor. I wasn't a joke. Once more she realised how strong he was, took her like a feather.

  She went to the bathroom, took off her nightshirt and dressed in her jeans and her bright short-sleeved shirt, which he had washed and dried for her already.

  -Are you sure? – She hesitated as she left the bathroom.

  -Mia, believe me. There is a party in the city, everyone is celebrating the third day of May, the constitution day, and you asked for a proof.

  She was ready and trembling because of excitement. He helped her taking on his sport jacket, which she was wearing earlier today in the woods, and then he took her carefully into his arms.

  -It will be faster when we’ll go like this. – He said and Mia smiled widely. She already knew that she might feel the wind on her face again.

  It was already dark outside and Mia could see some stars behind the clouds. As he started to run, she couldn't then see these stars anymore. She could only see a world changing so fast that everything was looking awesome. Some minutes later, they arrived to the city, there was light everywhere, but through the speed they looked like askew streaks of light. She was laughing and enjoying this trip. He stopped and let her stand on her own legs. They were in some street and she saw his blue Mustang parked two steps in front of them.

  -I thought you car is at home.

  -That’s my second car. It looks the same, but it isn’t.

  -But the registration number is the same. - Mia wondered.

  -Yes, because I try not to use them both at the same time. – He laughed. – It’s a long story.

  -Oh. By the way, your car is wonderful.

  -It is an original 6-cylinder car with automatic transmission and in good shape. All the chrome is in decent condition. The first owner purchased the car new in 1968 and sold it to me in 1970. Only in 1995, I brought it to Poland and in the meanwhile, I pimped it myself in the best possible way. The second one, I bought one year earlier, in the summer of ’69. I love this song of Bryan Adams and I have to think of my car when I hear it.

  Julian was very proud of his collection and his work. This car was gorgeous.

  He opened the right door and waited until she had taken her seat. Then he was sitting behind the wheel before she managed to breathe out. He started the engine and he was driving quite too fast. She remembered the ride with him some days ago. She thought she was too ill to see everything as it was, but she was mistaken. She was indeed ill, but she perceived everything exactly as it was. Somehow, she was glad about it.

  Then they stopped. It was a small town and she didn't recognize which one. She didn't know where they were right now. It was a square and there were some buildings. It looked like a small, nice city and this was for sure the main square in front of the town hall. But it was quite dark here. They could hear some music from the buildings behind them, pop music and Polish top hits, and some happy voices of people.

  -Mrągowo was on the way. I always liked this city. It’s not so crowded and still it is a great place to party. – Julian said shortly as she was wondering if he could really read minds.

  -Mia, are you OK? You don’t look well.

  -I am great, I am just wondering how we came here. We were in Warsaw and now we are in the heart of the northeastern Poland. There are some 200 kilometres between them.

  -You will wonder more often today. Don’t think about it, let the story be told step by step and then you’ll understand everything. You wanted the truth, so let me present it to you.

  Julian stepped out of the car, opened her door, and helped her to go out as well. As they were going in the direction of the music and the voices, he put his arm around her.

  -Did you know that the Teutonic Knights constructed a wooden fortress named Sensburg near present-day Mrągowo in Middle Ages? – He asked almost enthusiastic.

  He seemed to be relieved that he was on the way to tell her the truth and apparently, he wanted to show her everything at once and couldn't decide what to show first. This late evening seemed to become very emotional and full of miracles.

  When they left the last line of buildings behind, she saw the lake and people having a party at the shore. There were C
hinese lanterns and many plants around, and people were dancing and singing. It looked very nice and joyful. Julian changed his way of walking, he wasn't walking, but almost dancing. She smiled uncertain of what was expecting her.

  -But I... – she started and Julian looked at her and she fell silent.

  -I can’t dance, I can’t walk... – Julian imitated Phil Collins and she had to laugh.

  The more she was laughing the more he was singing:

  But I can't dance, I can't talk

  Only thing about me is the way that I walk

  I can't dance, I can't sing

  I'm just standing here sellin' everything.

  They came to the group of celebrating people and Julian took her to the dance floor right away.

  -But I...

  -Hush... Hush... Wait a second. You will surely enjoy the next song.

  And then she heard:

  “I sit and wait does an angel contemplate my fate...”

  She exactly knew what he meant. He took her into his arms and they swung together. He was right, she was very happy to hear this song.

  Julian started to sing it quietly into her ear and he wasn't worse than Robbie Williams himself. He hugged her carefully and his voice was very attractive. He could really sing. He seemed to like Robbie Williams. And he said he can’t read her mind... Her heart was beating fast like a wild horse running through the plains. She was overwhelmed by the moment and she forgot about everything around her. It was usually not her style to allow this to happen and to leave the world behind. Right now, she didn't care whether she was swinging right, who was looking at her or whether she was catching attention. This moment was counting and only here and now was important.

  They were swinging slowly and happily. When the song was over, Julian took her hand and guided to a table. It looked like he had ordered the table, what was impossible, because he couldn't foresee such a situation, but he went directly to this table he saw and waited for her to sit down before he took his place. Other people were still dancing and now there was some faster music playing in the background. She was focussed on him and his movements. He was smiling for all the time and he looked her into the eyes quite often. He was happy. He bent over to to her and whispered into her ear:

  -You wanted a proof? So tell me what should I prove to you?

  -I don’t know, I think I believe you.

  -It doesn’t work: to think and to believe are two different things. The first one is rational, the other one is emotional. Nevertheless, you didn't buy the thing with reading minds, so look at the guy over there – with a movement of his eyes Julian pointed at the DJ – He is thinking about what he will play in 5 minutes and can’t decide whether it should be Madonna or some Polish music. Furthermore, he has problems with his girlfriend and thinks about breaking up. The girl over there considers whether her parents realised that she hasn't come home yet. It is already midnight and she should have been at home at 11 pm.

  The young girl was looking as if show was enjoying herself and it was unlikely that she was worrying about her parents. On the other hand, Mia had seen some doubts in the girl’s face, even though she was dancing like a pro, there was something about her her moves, that showed some hesitation.

  Julian described her some further examples, but Mia wasn't convinced. Then, Julian looked at her and asked:

  -What would you like to drink? A waitress is coming.

  That was true, a waitress was approaching them. Julian couldn't see her, because she was behind his back and it was loud because the music. At the same time, he could turn around so quickly that it wasn't needed to read anything in minds. She was still not really buying the story with reading minds.

  After they ordered – a mineral water for her - he continued to explain her who was thinking what. It was incredible. She never looked at people like that. Sometimes she wondered what other people would think about, but there was never any certainty about it. Now he was talking about details, which were apparently true. She was shocked. She drunk her water and listened to these stories. When she finished, he took her for a walk along the shore of the lake.

  -What are they like, these pictures? And when a person thinks about something what he or she is experiencing right now? How does it look like?

  -It depends on how strong this person feels about it. If it is very important, I can see many details. Sometimes I can only see some details good, but the entire picture is fuzzy. Sometimes I can recognize faces, sometimes I can hear voices, and sometimes I can even see parsley between teeth, if it was important for someone.

  -And can you see memories of someone, even if this person doesn't think about it at that moment? – Mia was deeply interested. While she was listening to his answers, she picked some grass and tried to tie its ends together. As the grass wasn't flexible enough to be tied together, she took another one.

  The lake looked gorgeous. On the surface, you could see some flattering lights and the stars and the moon looked not only from behind the clouds. It reflected as well on the mirror of the lake. In the background, music was playing, but not so loud anymore. It was already after midnight and it was too late for checking out the maximum volume of the music boxes.

  -Yes, indeed. People are like a book for me. I open a page, which raises my interest or which I have to get to know.

  -And you really can’t see what is going on with me?

  -No, I can’t, but I would like to. It makes you so special somehow. It is like you would be my personal riddle, my personal challenge. I can’t feel you and I can’t read you.

  Julian explained her everything slowly and clearly, without any sign of impatience. He was glad that she was curious. It was quite a new experience for him to see tell these things that were so normal to him to someone, for whom they were impossible to reach.

  -Feel me?

  -Yes, it’s connected with the reading part. If you know what a person is thinking, then you know which state of mind he or she is in. You know whether people are angry, annoyed or glad, even if they hide it from you. Some are quite good to pretend they’re very happy when they are really annoyed in reality. It is easier to react to what they do and what they plan.

  -Do you influence what people do?

  -Every one of us has own free will. That’s the most important rule. You should behave according to what you think is right. I can influence you as much as any human being can influence you. Sometimes you hear some good advice and miffed comments, everybody thinks about their own business. I prefer to stay away from influencing people, because I have made some bad experiences with it.

  -How bad?

  -Oh, Mia, there are some stories, which are longer than this night. I think you are already tired enough, it was a very long day for you. – He said gently and looked into her eyes. – Would you like to go back?

  She wanted to hear more, she wanted to hear everything, but she felt tired. She hoped he couldn't see it, but she had to admit that this day was demanding. She was sure he will not change his mind and will tell her everything as soon as possible.

  -You’re right. Let's go back.

  They walked next to each other and then he took her hand without looking at her. She was walking hand in hand with him. It was a great feeling, because it meant so much to her. She was his girl right now. This was awesome. Unfortunately, she was a tired girl as well and it was impossible to describe how exhausted she really was.

  She didn't know when she fell asleep. She didn't remember how he took her home and how he carefully laid her in the bed and covered with a blanket. She didn't notice, either, that he transferred some of his energy to her, because she was still in poor condition. Nevertheless, there was hope. She was better and she slept calmly.

  Julian watched her the whole night while sitting in the chair next to the bed she was sleeping in. He held her hand for all the time. She was holding him, too.