Keeping Her (The Lexington Series Book 2)

by Belle Winters

  Lucy placed her hand on my arm. “Landon you don’t have to do this, but I’m sure you will regret it sometime later if you don’t. I’m not going to make you change your mind or try to force you into anything; I just don’t want this to be something that you beat yourself up about later on. You know I’m here with you right? You don’t have to do this alone, we’re all here and we all need each other right now.”

  I sighed because I knew she was right and I knew I was just being a coward. “Alright.” I stood up and let her lead me up to the casket. I looked at my father and I touched his hand. He looked the same yet so different. A ton of memories of all the good times we had together invaded my memory and I smiled the first genuine smile in days. I looked over to Lucy and she was watching me wiping her tears away. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me and placed a soft kiss to her lips. “Thank you for having me do this.” I whispered.

  She nodded. “That’s what I’m here for.”

  Seeing him in the casket had the opposite effect on me than I thought it would. Just seeing him again made me think past what had just happened and focus on all the good things he’s done for me and gave me. Once we returned to our seats, the preacher announced that they were allowing his family to say a few words. When James was planning everything he asked us if any of us would be willing to talk and we all said no. Now when he stood to deliver the speech that should be coming from us, I stood as well.

  “James, do you mind if I do it?” I asked.

  He looked a wreck just like the rest of us. He and dad had gotten really close since James came into our lives. They were like our mom and dad’s and the two of them together could make the entire world shift if it came to us. He nodded. “Sure Landon, I think it would be best if you did it.” I began to walk past him to get to the front when he pulled me into a hug. I hesitated for a brief moment but I returned it. If I didn’t have my dad, I wouldn’t have minded him practically adopting me. He didn’t step into the father role with Lucy, he jumped in full body, feet first and never came back out. He also didn’t give us hell ever about our relationship unless it had to do with things he’d rather not imagine his daughter doing, not that I can blame him. He even took all the rest of us in with open arms because he understood we had become a package. I couldn’t do anything but respect this man.

  I made my way up the stairs to the microphone. I let my eyes trail over my father and I smiled. I hadn’t prepared anything to say but I don’t think I honestly needed to. Talking about my father is easy. I cleared my throat and began. “Thank you everyone for coming out here today to pay your respects. My father… where do I start? He busted his ass to make sure that we would be okay. Although there were times that I wish he were around more it didn’t bother me much. For a lot of kids my age, they might’ve been sad or complained about having to go home and babysit their younger brother because their parents had to work. I didn’t mind because he’s an awesome kid. I love spending time with him and to be honest I prefer to go home to be with him than going to a party or something. My dad was an incredible man. I’m sure everyone here knows that but his dedication to us… his family was more than most people will ever have. He truly loved us, all of us. He always did what was right, and opened his arms and his door to those who deserved it. The one thing I’ve always known in life is that he loved me. Excuse me I mean he loves us. He built a family of his own outside of just blood. He didn’t hesitate when his sister died and took my best friend and cousin in as his own. He didn’t hesitate when the woman he was going to marry was a demon in disguise and saved her daughter from her. He didn’t think twice when it came to my happiness. Even when it came to Nick’s it was welcomed with opened arms. He took care of us, watched after us and made sure we were always ok. That night…” I trailed off as I felt too emotional and needed to contain myself. “That night, none of us came home he was absolutely devastated. It wasn’t just the kids he fathered but all of us, he cared for us all. My dad loved and his love was real and unyielding. There was no guessing with it. My dad gave me so fucking much. He gave me him, he gave me life, he gave me time, he gave me family, he loved me,” I met Lucy’s eyes, “he brought me love, he gave me a fucking chance, he let me love, he showed us love, and most of all he taught us the meaning of love. On top of that he has given me a chance at the future that I’ve always wanted. He gave me hope, faith, confidence and opportunity, and I’m not going to fucking let him down.”

  The preacher gave me a small disapproving frown as I passed him to go back to my seat, I guess it’s because I cursed. Let’s be realistic here I’m sure he curses when he’s at home with his buddies having a beer and playing cards, I don’t see a reason to change who I am for any reason. I got back to my seat and Lucy’s face was red from crying. I put my arm around her and held her tight to my chest and just let her cry until she felt better. I already did, being able to see him one last time and pay my dad tribute helped calm my demon. We went to the burial and it was a little more emotional. Max was clinging to Erica and I’m not sure if it was to comfort her or himself. I had to leave Lucy with Nick and Mel for a while so I could try to calm her. Erica was contained until they began to lower him into the ground. It was like something clicked in her head and she completely lost it. I don’t think I ever remember a time I saw this much emotion from her before, not even when our mom died. I guess that was different because we had a lot of time to mentally prepare for it and when it happened we weren’t surprised. She eventually calmed and we headed home. James coordinated a get together like how they usually have after funerals with food and stuff, but he just rented the space and left instructions. He and Sam rode back to the house with us and we all just watched The Titanic together in silence.

  The next day we had to go meet with the lawyer for details on my father’s assets. No one was really up for it but it was something that needed to be done sooner than later. It was no surprise that he left all properties in all of our names including Lucy. Naturally he has college funds for all four of us as Erica’s was paid off and some trust funds we get in a few years. We each have our own investment portfolio that will ultimately be overlooked by the person that has been handling his investments for years, but we will each have a say in how our portfolios are handled. Not surprisingly he left custody of us to James. He didn’t give any argument, he actually looked surprised. I guess he didn’t realize that although my father had ‘friends’ he doesn’t have people that he would trust us with. I knew without a doubt he trusted James and Samantha and that was the only option that really made sense. He was basically like the other half of the parental unit we had. It should tell you something that we actually listen to him and Sam, well except for Nick when it comes to harassing her.

  Lucy pulled me to the side while we were waiting in the lobby for James to finish getting the paperwork in order. “I was truly worried about what was going to happen with Max.” she confessed letting out a long breath.

  I nodded. “Me too but he should be fine here with them. I’m not worried about them taking care of him and he likes them well enough.”

  She dropped her forehead onto my chest. “Will things ever go back to normal, or are we going to be sad like this forever?” she asked in a whisper.

  “It might take some time but we will have to have a new normal. We can’t have exactly what we used to anymore, but it will be fine. Don’t we make it through everything?” I asked her.

  She nodded. “Yea Landon. We can and will make it through anything.”

  We drove back to the house and I spoke to James outside privately. I assured him that I will speak with Max and we could all contribute into making sure he’s all packed up and ready to move in with him. He assured me he would take care of any information that needs to go out to our schools and such. I thanked him and let him know how genuinely grateful I was for his help. He waved me off and reminded me how Dean had saved Lucy without a second thought and how much he owes to him because if it weren’t for him and his choices
he probably still wouldn’t know she even existed and wouldn’t have had any of us in his life either. He did throw in there that if I were that thankful I would consider abstinence with Lucy. He laughed, like a real belly hurting laugh that had me cracking up when I told him seriously that was not going to happen so I must not be that thankful after all.

  I went back into the house and cornered Lucy in the kitchen. “Do you want to consider abstinence Lucy?” I asked her.

  She gave me a confused look. “What the hell are you talking about Landon?”

  I shrugged. “Your dad suggested it when I thanked him. He thought this was a good way of showing it so I’m asking you. Before you answer I don’t actually expect for you to say yes.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re a fucking rabbit Landon, I know what answer you’re expecting.”

  “Anyway…” I told her backing up against the counter. “I told him that we’ll talk to Max about moving in with him and Sam and help pack up and move his stuff.”

  She nodded. “Sounds good, did you want to tell him by yourself?”

  I shook my head. “Absolutely not. He takes everything better when it comes from you so you’re up.”

  She threw her hand on her hip. “Oh no buddy, we can do this together. I say sooner rather than later.”

  I shrugged. “Now?”

  She sighed and rubbed her forehead. She downed a glass of water and caught my eyes. “There’s no time like the present.” She muttered and started up the stairs. We went straight to Max’s room and he was rifling through his toys. Lucy walked up to him and ran a hand through his hair. He looked up and when he saw her turned to give her his full attention. “Hey little man.” She said in a soft voice.

  “Hi Lucy, I was just looking for the Spiderman and Batman toy you bought for me. I can’t find them anywhere.” He told her aggravated.

  She let out a small chuckle. “That’s ok. How about we talk really quick then I’ll help you find him?” she asked.

  “Ok.” He agreed eyeing her warily. I’m sure he could sense the hesitance in her approach and it immediately made him nervous. Not to mention the last time we had to talk to him we told him that his dad died.

  Lucy sucked in a deep breath and just spit it out like she was ripping off a Band-Aid. “Max honey, you’re not going to be able to stay here anymore.”

  His eyes watered, “why? I don’t want to leave.” He told her.

  She sighed and her head dropped. I bent down on my knee in front of him, “Max, with dad gone now, you can’t stay here by yourself. You’re going to have to go with James and Sam. You like them don’t you?” I asked.

  He nodded and turned to Lucy grabbing her hand. “But I don’t want to live there. I want to live here with you. Please Lucy?” he begged and the tears escaped.

  Lucy’s eyes watered. “I know Max but I’m going to school. You can’t stay there little man. I need you to be a brave boy for me and stay with James and Sam.” She explained.

  His body began shaking and he shook his head furiously. “No, please don’t. I don’t want you to leave me. Please? I want to be with you and Landon I’m afraid Lucy. I don’t want to be with anybody else.” He pleaded.

  Lucy sighed and stood. “Give me a minute honey okay?”

  He shook his head again and his grip tightened. “No. you’re going to leave me. Don’t leave me here Lucy.” He pleaded.

  She placed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m not leaving I promise. I’m going to talk to Landon in my room for a few minutes and we’ll come back ok?” she asked him.

  He stared in her eyes for a minute before he made up his mind. He let her go warily and nodded. He looked at me with pleading eyes and I nodded to him. “We’ll be right back, I promise.” I assured him.

  He went to sit on his bed and Lucy left to her room. I followed her in and closed the door softly behind me. I stood there watching her as she paced the floor with her head down. After a good two minutes she stopped and spun around to face me.

  She made sure she had my eyes before she began, “Landon we can do this.” She said.

  I raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “You, me, Max. We can do it. I’m sure we can and I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave him with James. I mean I’m sure he can take care of him just fine but he’s traumatized. The last thing he needs is to feel abandoned. He knows them but you know he’s not good with people. You and me he’s comfortable with. He needs familiarity in order to adjust right from this. We can get a place close but off campus and find a school. Our classes aren’t late or anything so we can make it work to pick him up and take him to school. I cook and stuff anyway so there’s no hardship there.” She gave me hopeful eyes.

  I was shocked. This was the same argument that I tried to give her about our baby. The one she said we wouldn’t be able to take care of because we were too young. I frowned, “don’t you think we’re too young for that type of responsibility? I mean you’re basically talking about raising him you know?” I asked her.

  She glared, “Landon we can do fucking anything. And this is Max, we love him. He’s ours, he’s family. He’s worth the additional sacrifices don’t you think?” she snapped at me.

  “Oh really?” I asked her.

  She threw her hands on her hip. “Yes I am. We can raise him just fine Landon it’s not like we aren’t already doing a lot of the things required anyway. We love him and that’s enough to push us through.” she argued.

  I met her challenging stance, “but wasn’t it not too long ago that you told me that we were in no position to have kids or anything while in school? That we wouldn’t be able to handle it?” I asked.

  She paled and her hands flew to her mouth. “That was different” she whispered.

  “How?” I asked feeling my anger rising.

  Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she looked around the room frantically. When she met my eyes again she had tears there and it only took a few seconds before they began to fall. She stumbled back and fell onto the bed. She covered her face with both of her hands and began to sob. “Oh Landon what did I do?” she asked in a hoarse whisper.

  I walked over to her and sat next to her. “You made a choice Lucy. This is what I was thinking about the whole situation, but you got scared and jumped to what you thought was safest.”

  “Oh my god I can’t believe… I’m a fucking monster. Why didn’t I just fucking listen and talk to you first. I was afraid and confused and dammit… it just made so much sense. We were starting school in like a week from when I found out and all I could think about was our futures going down the drain. I wouldn’t have been able to start school and thought it would affect my acceptance into the art program or your fucking position on the football team and scholarship would get ruined. I was busy thinking of all the bad things that would come out of it for us that it’s as if all the good things or possibilities escaped me completely. I let my fear and worries rule my decision and consume me and look what I did!” She looked up at me. “How could you forgive me for that? How can you even stand to look at me?” she asked.

  I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. “I never forgave that decision, but I forgave you. I know why you did it and it’s too late. After everything that’s happened recently I don’t think we can afford to remain angry at each other about things we can’t undo, we can only move on and learn from our mistakes. But this is not the time to beat yourself up about it we have other pressing things right now. I agree with you, we can take Max. I’ll need to work out something with school since we’re supposed to live in the dorm for the football players. But I’d do anything for him and you know that.” I told her.

  She nodded and leaned over to put her head on my shoulder. She took a few minutes to calm herself and then whispered, “Landon I’ll never ever do that again. I swear. I mourned both of our loses and I know that you talked about having kids constantly but I always told you that I thought we weren’t ready. It’s not a
n excuse for anything I know because neither one of us was particularly cautious… but this time around, we need to be.” She told me. I only nodded because she was finally getting where I stood on the matter. I rubbed her back until her breathing returned to normal. She placed a call to James to tell him of the decision we made. He fought with her a bit about it, knowing the responsibilities that came along with it. After a few minutes of going back and forth and seeing we weren’t budging he sighed and said he would make arrangements. He promised to work things out for me and my living situation at school and find us somewhere close to the campus and where there would be a good elementary school for Max. We told Nick next and he said he would be moving in with us for the extra help. Unlike the football team, the basketball players didn’t have rules on housing. When everything was confirmed, we told Max and he tackled me then showered Lucy with kisses.

  We spent the next day packing up his stuff and getting it ready to be shipped. James headed up towards the school to find us a place and get any paperwork done. He used his connections to ensure that he would have the options he needed in order to choose a place that same day. We would have a week to find furniture get it delivered and everything before Max arrived the following weekend. James would be getting him enrolled in school and everything during this time. We left to go back Friday and James met us at the campus to give us keys and the address. I drove us over to the place. It was only about 15 minutes from campus so that wasn’t bad. I looked over at Lucy and Nick, “you ready?” I asked.

  CHAPTER 4

  LUCY

  I looked up at the place that James found. I was expecting an apartment but it was a modest sized home in a decent and quiet looking area. I took in the two story eggshell colored home with blue roof and door. There was a front porch and the steps, the chimney, and bottom edges of the house were brick. There was a large looking garage off to the side, I’m sure all three of our cars would fit in and my heart warmed. This was already perfect. It wasn’t a mansion or anything and it was pretty without drawing too much attention. There weren’t any white picket fences or even a wraparound porch. It was just a simple home.