About 10 minutes after everyone left I turned my head to Landon. “Umm Landon?” I asked.
He met my eyes. “What’s up? And don’t tell me you’re hungry again because you can’t eat anything until after the baby comes out.” He told me in warning. I thought it was totally unnecessary since I only asked him a few times about food.
I rolled my eyes and got to the point. “Well I feel like I need to push.” I told him.
His entire body straightened in alarm. “What do you mean?” he asked.
I looked at him like he was stupid. “I have this pressure feeling and I feel like I need to push.”
His eyes went frantic. “Push the button for the nurse!” he demanded.
I pressed it a few times and no one came. I guess they really bought that shit that the doctor was just saying. Nick stood up on his feet and walked out of the room. I’m not even kidding you but three seconds later you heard his voice boom in the hallway. “I know you hear the bell we’ve been pressing. The girl needs to push out the baby, get your asses in there and do something.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “Well I guess they know now.” I told Landon. When I looked back at him he didn’t look the least bit embarrassed, go figure. I’m not surprised he condoned that crap. A few seconds later a doctor and two nurses entered the room with Nick on their heels. They looked a tad bit either scared or nervous. I don’t blame them because I could only imagine the death glare he probably gave them when he went out there.
“Let’s check you out dear.” The doctor said and checked to see how dilated I was. Her eyes widened and she gaped in surprise. “You’re 10 centimeters it’s time.” She announced.
The doctor told Landon to get up and move the chair so he could stand on one side while a nurse went to my other side. “We’re just going to wait outside until this is done. I can’t see this.” Nick said.
I heard Landon mutter under his breathe, “You damn right.”
Nick grabbed Max and practically ran out of the room. She instructed Landon to follow the nurses lead to put one hand under my leg to help keep it up. Once they were in place the doctor told me to wait for a contraction (or in other words the urge to push) to hit again and that’s when I push and hold it until it passes. The first one came and then the second and the third. Landon was smiling a big smile because he had his face well into my girly parts not wanting to miss a thing.
“I see his hair!” he told me excitedly. I continued pushing a few more times before exhaustion took over. I was thirsty and tired. My mouth was dry and I was struggling to put effort into pushing.
“Landon I can’t do this.” I told him panting.
He looked at me and frowned. “Yes you can Luce, he’s right there I can see him. On the next contraction I want you to push and put all your effort into it ok? Do it for me baby. Do it for all of us.” He told me.
The monitor that was attached to my stomach started making this weird noise and I became nervous. I looked at the doctor, “What’s wrong?” I asked.
She met my eyes. “The baby is under stress stuck in your tunnel. We need to get him out.”
I could see the panic that I was feeling all over Landon’s face. No this cannot happen. The next contraction rolled through and I pushed like my life depended on it because well… it sort of did. The next thing you now it felt as though I lost a ton of weight and then I heard a wail. I heard them ask Landon about cutting the cord and I felt his hands release me. Landon was looking towards the nurses in awe but I was so exhausted I was delirious. My body was shaking a bit for the exertion and my vision was unfocused. I felt when they placed him on my chest but my arms felt like dead weights.
“Landon please pick him up. I can’t move and I don’t want him to get hurt.” I felt the pressure lift off of me and then I felt something cool on my lips. I opened my mouth and it was an ice chip. I was fed a few more and although I still was lacking energy I wasn’t delirious anymore. I could hear and see what was going on.
“What’s wrong with her?” I heard Landon ask.
“It’s normal her body is just exhausted. She hasn’t eaten anything for hours and barely was able to drink anything so her energy levels dropped really low really fast. I gave her the ice because that should help her out some.”
I looked at Landon and I could see him holding a bundle in his arms. They finished up everything they had to do with me while a nurse took the baby from Landon to clean him up and get his weight and measurements. I was rapidly drinking water as they finished and by the time I was able to hold him again I felt human. His eyes were closed and I just took him in. He had his daddy’s facial features but it looked like the poor thing got cursed with the same curly wild hair as me. They put tags on both me and Landon’s wrist so that staff could identify us as the parents of the baby and took him away. He was 8 pounds 3 ounces, which would explain why I was as big as a house. They set me up in a wheelchair and took me from the labor and delivery floor to a room that will be my home for the next couple of days. Nick and Max saw when we exited the room and they all followed behind the nurse and me as we moved to the fifth floor.
I got situated in a bed and they gave me meds before any pain really kicked in which I was grateful for. Max climbed in bed next to me and asked a million questions about his little brother. I fell asleep at some point and Landon didn’t wake me until the nurse informed us that we could get the baby. When they offered to bring him to the room Landon hopped up and insisted that he get him from the nursery himself. I rolled my eyes because it was more of his lack of trust of other people than anything else I believed. He followed the nurse out and soon returned back to the room rolling the small baby bassinet. He picked him up gently from the bed and walked him over to me. When he laid him into my arms I felt my heart speed pick up. I couldn’t believe that we actually did it. When I let out a soft gasp the baby’s eyes slowly opened revealing intense green eyes. There was no denying this was in fact a Miles baby. Max was beside himself so we sat him up in my bed and situated him so he could hold the baby. I placed him gently into Max’s arms arranging them properly to support the baby’s head. He cooed at him and feathered kisses all over his face. My eyes stung with tears at the sight of them together. I gently stroked the back of my finger down the baby’s face.
“Dean” I whispered.
“What?” Landon asked.
I focused my attention to Landon and gave him a watery smile. “His name… Dean James Miles.” I explained.
I saw his eyes fill with tears as he nodded. He bent down and gave me a kiss on my forehead. “I love it Lucy, its perfect.” He whispered.
After Max had been holding baby Dean for a while Nick got agitated. “Max I love you and all but it’s my turn. I want to hold the baby.” He whined. I rolled my eyes and Max giggled as he agreed. Nick snatched the baby from him and began walking around the room. Dean’s eyes were focused intently on Nick as he spoke to him. “Hey little man, I’m the best dude in this world besides you. I can teach you everything you need to know, especially when you need help picking up the ladies. Your dad over there has a chain and ball so it’s just the two of us man. Don’t worry I’ll come save you when they start getting mushy or whatever. Me and Max know how to have fun without them so you can hang with us, you know watch Ninja Turtles and all of that…”
I tuned him out at that point because I’m sure he was just going to keep spouting ridiculous crap. I’m just grateful that he doesn’t understand a thing he says. He’s probably just mesmerized by Nick’s natural goofiness. Landon pulled a chair closer to me and grabbed my hand. “I’m so proud of you baby. You were so strong in there, I love you.” He whispered so only I could hear.
I cradled his face. “No Landon, we did it together. I couldn’t have done that without you.” I told him and leaned in for a kiss and he met me halfway.
When Landon got a bit too into the kiss we heard a throat clear. I turned my attention to Nick who was holding Dean so that he was also facing us a
nd he was pointing. He shook his head and whispered loud enough so the whole room could hear, “you see what I mean?”
Landon rolled his eyes. “Give me my baby.” He demanded holding out his arms. Nick sighed and began whispering in a low voice as he walked the baby over and handed him over to Landon.
He checked the time on his watch. “We’ve been out for a while, I’m going to take Max home so he could get some sleep and we can come back when we’re refreshed and so you two can have some alone time.” Nick told us.
Landon nodded. “Sounds good, thanks for being here man and everything you did.” He told him in a serious voice filled with emotion.
Nick’s demeanor changed to deadly serious. “Seriously Landon? You guys are my only family I’d do anything for you.” He seemed to rethink his statement before adding, “Except watch Lucy give birth.” He visibly shuddered. “If you wouldn’t have made it in time and I would have been subjected to that I would’ve smothered you with a pillow.” He threatened.
Landon laughed and shook his head. “That’ll never happen, but seriously thanks.” They gave each other one of those bro hugs and handshake things and Nick scooped up Max and left.
We spent the next few days at the hospital going through the motions. They talked to us about beginning contraceptives which we agreed to happily. Right now we were set and definitely didn’t want to bite off more than we could chew. We went through breast feeding in the hospital since I was adamant about pursuing breast feeding but no one warned me how painful it could be. I swore that the boy had teeth because of how hard he gripped onto me not to mention I was still sensitive. Landon asked about a million questions and although he drove me mad the nurses and doctors seemed to be eating it up. Apparently his involvement was something that they don’t often see even with married couples and they thought it was the sweetest thing. Little did they know they were only gearing him up with more shit to drive me crazy with. At the end of the day neither one of us really had parents or family that we could turn to for advice in this situation. Sure I still had my father James, but he and Sam never had kids… and I don’t count since I was already way past these stages when he found out about me. Their moral support won’t really help when the baby is up at 3am and we have no idea what to do. So with that being said yes I’m complaining about all the questions but I was asking a good amount of my own we needed all the help we could get together. Nick also came in on a few of these discussions we requested since he called himself the hired help and would need to also know what to do when he’s babysitting during sexy time. When he said that to the doctor and nurse I really wanted to strangle him, I honestly could’ve died from embarrassment. By the time we left I was confident that with everything they told us and using instincts and common sense we’ll be ok.
CHAPTER 9
Lucy
The first couple of weeks back were hell. Ok I might be exaggerating but Landon, Nick, and Max had to still attend school which meant I spent a lot of time at home alone with the baby. They both tried to come back as soon as possible but it was still a lot on me. Don’t get me wrong baby Dean wasn’t bad or cried excessively; it was just a lot on my body physically. I was still fairly sore from birth so walking and things were extremely uncomfortable for me. I found it amazing that I could see my feet and everything again however I was still waddling around everywhere. Landon made sure to be there for doctor’s appointments which were frequent initially. I had suggested that we get one of those small fridges that people sometimes get for their personal items for like a door room and place it in baby Dean’s room. That way we could store his milk there and I wouldn’t have to worry about going up and down the stairs so frequently. That day Landon came home with one and it was such an amazing idea.
Thanksgiving came around fast and everyone gathered at our house. We had a lot more hands which gave me more time to recuperate. Landon often fought with Sam and Erica over Dean because none of them ever wanted to let them go. My body was slowly healing and I was almost there. Dean was three weeks old and he seemed to be basking in the attention although it was funny whenever he got hungry and went for the closest breast. He didn’t really care if it was man or woman he just wanted his milk. It was a bittersweet holiday since we were marking the anniversary of Dean’s death while at the same time embracing baby Dean into the family for our new family rituals. At one point Landon had disappeared for a while and when I found him in our room he was in the dark with his head in his hands silently crying. I sat with him and held him and let my own tears out as we mourned Dean’s death together. He was truly a wonderful and loving man and I would give anything to have him back here in our lives. I wish he could’ve met baby Dean, who we named after him. I hope to god that our son is just as amazing as his grandfather was and I told Landon we needed to make a promise that although he will never meet them we will make sure that our son knows how great his grandparents were.
Mid December I was feeling completely better and had developed a routine. Dean was great and he slept for the most part. He woke up like clockwork for feedings. After his 3am feeding he slept until about 10 or 11am, so I had a good part of the morning to myself that I used to clean, read, and paint. This morning when my internal clock woke me up for baby Dean’s 3:00 feeding I didn’t hear anything. I decided to get up and check on him and found Landon already there sitting in the rocking chair feeding him while he whispered to him silently. Dean either woke up and made stirring sounds that Landon heard over the monitor or his internal clock woke him before me but he liked to share the responsibilities when he was home. He fussed with me sometimes about the fact that I get to have him all day. Christmas was in another two weeks and I needed to get out to get my shopping done. We had all decorated together the day after thanksgiving before anyone left and they will all be returning. Landon didn’t have any classes or practice today so I will be heading out as soon as I’m done with breakfast and finished with my doctor’s appointment.
The doctor gave me the depo shot as my new form of birth control and gave me the all clear. Landon was losing his mind since it’s been such a long time and I didn’t blame him a bit. Once I recuperated I’ve been bidding my time but unlike him I wasn’t complaining about it… out loud. I took myself to the mall and was able to pick up something for everybody. I was heading out when I passed by Victoria Secret. I stared at the store and was going to keep walking when I made a split second decision to go in. I got me a few new bras and underwear, nothing sexy or anything. I was still pretty self-conscious of my body. I have some stretch marks now and I still have a gut from the baby. If I was being totally honest I didn’t find my body attractive at all anymore which is why I was kind of happy that we couldn’t do anything. There was no reason for him to see me naked or anything since I had the baby. He wouldn’t put himself through the temptation which has been working fine for me. I know he will be all over me the second he found out we had the green light and I didn’t want to look bad so I was hoping to find some lingerie that would help me look better. The sales rep helped me find three pieces that I thought looked amazing, however I had no confidence they would look good on me. I bought them anyway against my better judgment and hid the bag inside one of the others.
When I got home Nick, Max, Landon, and baby Dean were all in the family room. I gave them strict instructions not to enter our room until I gave the ok. They weren’t stupid and knew what I was up to, but they knew better than to go against my request. I was just like Max when it came to the excitement of waiting until Christmas morning to see or know what your present is. I spent a few hours packing and wrapping everything. When I was done I checked the time and saw that it was 9pm and I was starving. Baby Dean was in his swing asleep and the boys were playing the Xbox. I went downstairs and snatched me some pizza while I sat and watched them play for a while. Around 11 we decided to call it a night and I made my way upstairs with Landon in tow. When I opened the door to our room I sighed it was a disaster. There were bags, wrapping and
tissue paper everywhere, I made quite the mess and I really wanted a shower.
“What’s wrong?” Landon asked.
“I wanted to shower but I forgot all about this big mess.” I admitted.
He chuckled, “shower and I’ll clean up how’s that?” he offered.
I turned and stood on tiptoe to kiss him. “You’re the best-est ever do you know that?”
He smiled. “I’ve been told.”
I grabbed my stuff and headed into the shower. I took my time letting the hot water just run all over me. When I felt like I’ve been in here a little too long I washed up and got out throwing on one of Landon’s large t-shirts. When I came out of the room Landon was standing at the edge of the bed with a bag in his hand looking through it. When I saw a flash of pink I paled. Holy hell he found the bag from Victoria Secret, how the heck did I forget about that?
“What’s this?” he asked letting the bag hang from his pinky finger.
I began wringing my hands together and let out a deep breathe. “It was an impulse purchase and I don’t know why I did it.” I admitted.
He nodded. “How did the doctor’s go?” he asked.
I cleared my throat. “They said that everything was fine and I was good to go, I got the shot and all.”
He smiled. “So that means that I can touch you again?” he asked for clarification.
I looked down at my feet and gripped my hands together tightly. “Yes” I said in a small voice.
I heard Landon moving across the floor and I smelled him when he was close. He put a finger under my chin to tip my face up. “What’s the matter baby?” he asked. I met his eyes and bit my lip. His eyes pierced mine searching for the answer there and he sighed. “Come on Luce, tell me.” He prodded.
Keeping Her (The Lexington Series Book 2) Page 21