I closed my eyes and when I opened them I told him in a soft voice. “I’m scared.”
He frowned. “Scared of what?”
“You seeing me again. I don’t look the way I used to and I don’t want you to see how unattractive I am now.” I confessed.
He frowned. “What the fuck does that even mean Lucy? Why wouldn’t I find you attractive? You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. No matter what you will always be beautiful to me.” He pulled the bag up in between us so that it was dangling close to my face. “Is that what this is about?” he asked.
I nodded. “I thought it might help take away from… you know my body.”
He nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed and went through the bag. He pulled out a red corset piece that came with a black garter, red thong, and black knee highs. “Put this one on.” He said placing it on the bed slowly.
I shook my head frantically. “No way. Please don’t make me do this and embarrass myself.”
He shook his head at me. “No you need to do this. You need to feel as sexy as I always see you because baby I’m going to have you tonight.” When I continued to stare at the pieces like they might come to life and strangle me he sighed. “Look Lucy, even in my t-shirt I think you look fantastic. You think I haven’t seen you? You do realize that I wake up a lot of days and you’re still asleep. That t-shirt is never really covering you, I already know what you look like and you know I still want you. Now… cut your shit and just put it on. I want to see it.”
I sighed and snatched the pieces. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I mumbled.
He chuckled. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I heard him reply as I closed the bathroom door behind me.
I put the pieces on as slowly as possible trying to prolong the moment. When I was done I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I didn’t look as bad as I thought I was going to but I was still really nervous. What if he truly gets turned off when he sees me? That was the most concerning part of everything, I didn’t want this to be the thing that finally gets in between us. I tried to fix my wet hair nicely but there was no use. I took a deep breath and decided it was time to bite the bullet so I opened the door and walked out slowly. Landon was in the same spot that I left him facing the bathroom door but he reclined so that he was leaning on his elbows. He was staring at the ceiling so I made sure to make no noise. I was successful, but unfortunately he seems so in tuned to me that he knew I was there. It’s like he was moving in slow motion. His eyes took their time trailing from the ceiling to where I was standing stock still. He slowly sat up and put his elbows down on his knees. He held my eyes for what felt like an eternity before they gently examined my entire face then leisurely made their way down my neck all the way down to my toes. I felt his eyes on my skin and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. His face was a blank mask the entire time and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Once it appeared as though he examined each toe he did the entire process all over again beginning with my feet and made their way up. By the time he reached my eyes again I was fidgeting in nervousness and anticipation.
He beckoned me over with his finger and I moved closer until I was standing directly in front of him. I couldn’t wait any longer so I blurted out in a whisper, “what are you thinking?”
He grabbed both of my hands and pulled me even closer so that I was standing in between his opened legs. He flipped both hands over and placed a kiss on each one of my palms, I let out a shuddering breath. In the next second he tugged on my hand and I collapsed on top of him and he rolled us over so he was hovering above me. He gave me a soft kiss and then another. He placed kisses on my eyelids, then my cheeks, then my nose, my chin, and finally my lips again. This time he sucked on my bottom lip and I opened for him. He hasn’t kissed me like this in so long and the instant our tongues touched I moaned. He pulled back when I was on the verge of passing out from my need of air and began kissing and licking me from my chin down my neck and shoulders.
“You want to know what I think?” he asked bringing his head up to meet my eyes. I nodded. He placed a kiss to my shoulder and began pulling down the strap until my arm was free and he repeated the motion with the other shoulder. When he was done he met my eyes as he began undoing the clasps on the front of my top. “I think you’re beautiful.” He said and looked down at my bare chest as the last clasp broke free. He stared and licked his lips before his eyes flickered back to mine. “And you get more beautiful every day.” He finished and placed his mouth on my chest. My eyes flickered closed and I arched into him. In that moment all of my insecurities and fears flew out the window as I fell into the moment. When he had thoroughly shown my breast attention he removed the rest of my clothes and stood so he could gaze down at me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so exposed with him before; it was like he was looking at me all over again for the first time. He climbed back on top of me and met my eyes as he said softly, “first I’m going to taste you. Then I’m going to have you until you’re screaming my name and I won’t stop. Not even when you beg and plead that you had enough because I don’t think I’ll ever have enough. I won’t stop until my body can’t move and you will never again question how crazy I am about you and your body.” He promised and my body lit on fire. He wasn’t lying either, he held his promise and when baby Dean woke up at 3am for his feeding Landon had just collapsed to the side of me and I have no idea what round that was. I fed Dean and came back and Landon was on me again. He was going to be a grumpy and tired bastard today when he went to school.
Landon was like an animal every day and his excuse was that he had a lot of time to make up for. He acts like I don’t know him already and he’s been an animal he’s just a little more excessive. Christmas came and Erica, James, and Sam came up two days before Christmas. We had an amazing holiday and we had a small tribute to the family members who we missed and love. Max spoke about his good memories with Dean and you heard sniffles around the room. I think this is a tradition that we should uphold every year on Christmas and thanksgiving to keep their memories alive and to ensure they’re never forgotten. This year has been hard with all the changes that we had to endure, but together we made it. Before everyone retired I looked around the room at everyone and smiled. This was my family and I made a silent promise to myself to make sure I cherish each day and moment with them.
School didn’t resume until after the New Year since this was winter break and two days after Christmas Mel called to tell me she was boarding a plane on her way. She hasn’t met baby Dean yet and she was excited. Plus I missed her like crazy! She of course goes home for the holiday where her parents are but hasn’t really made the effort to come see us ever since the whole breakup with Nick. To be honest I still have no real clue what happened, they are both so tight lipped about it but considering the way they acted about each other you could only assume it wasn’t good. James and Sam were staying as long as possible which I appreciated. I told everyone that she was coming and got different reactions. Landon looked weary, Erica was excited, James and Sam seemed happy since they knew how much I missed her, Max was also happy, and Nick seemed uncaring, he only shrugged. I picked her up at the airport when she arrived and I never been so happy to see her. We chatted mostly about how much she’s enjoying her classes for physical therapy and running, while I chatted about well… Dean. She was lucky I was driving because I probably would’ve busted out a million pictures. When we arrived I noticed that Nick’s car was missing but I didn’t comment. It was actually a bit of a relief, there would be time to get greetings and stuff out of the way before there was any tension. Mel came in and was smothered in hugs. Landon hugged her and placed a kiss on her temple before whispering something to her. I didn’t hear it but whatever it was made her nod and she gave him a small smile. I decided I’d be nosy later and ask him when we went to bed. We all hung out in the family room until it was pretty late and everyone was yawning. When we got to bed I asked Landon about what he said he to Mel an
d he wouldn’t spill.
“Landon?” I asked
“Hmm…” he responded. I could tell he was pretty much sleep.
“Nick still isn’t home, I’m worried about him.” I told him
He sighed. “I know Luce, I’m worried too. We’ll deal with it later but now isn’t the time.” I cuddled in closer to him and he held me a little tighter and I fell asleep.
Nick
I didn’t see any lights on when I pulled in which is exactly what I wanted. I really didn’t want to see Melanie. I know she’s Lucy’s best friend so she would eventually be around, I just think it’s best for me if I stay as far away from her as possible. I grabbed a glass from the kitchen on my way to my room so I could have me a drink. I picked up some scotch on my way home because I really needed a drink if I was going to make it the next few days. I downed two glasses and put on the TV. I was wide awake and fidgety; it was going to be a long night. After another three glasses I started to feel tipsy and hungry. I made a sandwich and was walking back to my room when I passed by the French doors leading into the backyard. For some strange reason I gravitated towards them and saw they were cracked open. Since we moved in we put a trampoline, a swing and some other kid stuff along with a closed off section that had a grill, chairs, and a small outdoor fireplace. Landon had that done for Lucy, we were going to get a pool installed compliments of my bright ideas. We had all this space back here we might as well make use of it. Initially we didn’t want to do much because we weren’t sure if this would be just for school, but Lucy made it clear that this place now held too many memories and if we were still to return home or wherever else we should keep this home within the family. Once that was established we made a few changes to make it our home and not just something we bought. I walked towards the fireplace and plopped down on one of the sofas and threw my legs over the arm. I took a huge bite of my sandwich and relaxed.
“Nick?”
I paused mid chew and closed my eyes, was I more drunk than I thought? I opened my eyes slowly and scanned the space. Initially I didn’t see anything and was convinced I was losing my mind until I saw something move from the corner of my eye. I turned my body more so that I was facing that way and I saw there was someone sitting on the opposite side from me. Fuck me, of course the one place I go in the house when no one else should even be awake I find the person I’ve been ducking from. I sat up on the couch and put my sandwich down on the seat beside me. I took a slow swig of my drink preparing myself because there was no avoiding it now. I wouldn’t get up and run from her now that we were face to face, if I were being honest I couldn’t if I wanted to. It was dark but I could still make out her red hair and the outlines of her face and curves even though she was curled up. A shot of lust ran through me and I tamped it down.
“Mel” I finally ground out.
“I uh… didn’t think I would see you. When you never showed up today I was sure you were avoiding me.” She said nervously.
I shrugged. “I was.” I replied coldly. I couldn’t help it I still resented the shit out of her.
She sucked in a sharp breath. After a few minutes of silence she spoke again so softly that I would’ve missed it if even crickets had been chirping. “It doesn’t have to be like this you know.”
I looked towards her direction. “Like what Mel?”
She sighed and her voice grew a bit. “Like this,” she said gesturing between the two of us, “this strained relationship.” I could hear the agitation in her voice.
I took another sip of my drink. “As far as I’m concerned there is no relationship.”
She groaned. “You know what I mean. We don’t have to be enemies or hate each other. We could be friends… I miss you Nick.”
I felt like she just stabbed me, she missed me? “Are you fucking kidding me right now Mel? You miss me? Well you made it obvious you either didn’t miss me enough or just missing me wasn’t enough on its own.”
“Nick.” She said softly but I didn’t respond. She sighed, “Look I did what I did so we could have a normal college experience. I didn’t want us to continue on as miserable as we were, surely you have to understand that. I never said that there wouldn’t be an us. I liked us.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s stupid Mel and you know it. What you wanted was someone that you could have right there or maybe it was that someone specific that you wanted. Maybe you had an itch to scratch and I wasn’t around enough for it. At the end of the day you made your decision and I told you that I couldn’t be your friend. We both made a decision that day.”
“It is not stupid! You can’t tell me that you haven’t been with anyone. I’m sure that you were with someone while you were missing all day. Who was she?” she asked.
I drained the rest of my drink and gave her my undivided attention. At this point I was a bit past tipsy so any filter I might’ve had was completely gone. “I don’t remember her name, she was blonde though. I don’t like redheads anymore, and I’ve only gone out to scratch an itch. There’s no woman out there that is worth any of my troubles. I’ve come to the realization that relationships are fucking meaningless and a waste of time, I can thank you for that. But before you left me there wasn’t even anyone I looked at and that was because you were all I wanted. You were all I thought I needed; I thought you were it for me. Now I see that I could have my pick of the litter so why limit myself down to one girl when it most likely won’t even work out. I get it, we were a high school thing and it’s run its course. I get it and its fine but don’t expect more from me because it’s convenient for you. You want me in your life but since I can’t be with you every day you want to change my place from being your boyfriend to just your friend, it doesn’t work that way Mel. What do you think I would be ok with you calling to cry on my shoulder when your boy toy messes up? Fuck no! It’s not just about your fucking feelings. Now enough about me, how’s it working out with your new guy?”
She didn’t answer for several seconds so I picked up my sandwich and lounged back down on the sofa. I heard her voice but didn’t hear what she said. After another minute I heard her say, “his name is Roger.”
I nodded. “Tell Roger I said what’s up.”
I heard her sniffle. “Nick you don’t have to be such a dick about this. I’m just trying to work things out here. We have mutual friends and family we can’t keep this up.”
“Next time bring Roger with you and you can sit out here with him.” I suggested.
This time when she spoke I could hear the tears in her voice. “Now you’re just being childish. Can we squash this… please? He was around we had a few classes together. He’s a nice guy and he’s at school with me. We’re taking things slow, it will never be how it was like when I was with you… but I’m just trying to be normal. I was tired of being the girl who moped around all the time love sick and shit. He treats me well and we study together and stuff.”
I sat up. “Who are you trying to convince, me or you? You just said you left me to be with someone who doesn’t make you remotely as happy because you wanted to be normal. When have we ever just been fucking normal Mel? I don’t even feel like I know you anymore… back when I first met you, you were strong, vicious. You were always up for the battle and never backed down and now you’re worried about what your new friends and school think about you. Isn’t that the same shit you used to jump down Lucy’s back about? Listen, I was being honest… he’s in your life so that’s who you should have around. As far as we’re concerned there’s nothing to squash. I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m going to be your pretend buddy in front of an audience because I’m not. Yes I will probably try to avoid you as much as possible, but I will be civil in your company. You don’t like what I have to say right now but I’m being civil, but you shouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. This is not a discussion that we will ever need to have again.”
She let out a small sob. “Nick you know I love you, this is hurting me too.”
That was the la
st straw I couldn’t take any more of this. I snatched up my cup and the rest of my sandwich and stood. “I loved you too.” I told her and began to make my way towards the house.
“Loved as in past tense”? She asked in a broken voice.
I turned to face her right before I went inside the house. “Yes.” I said in a loud clear voice. When I got inside the house I let out a long deep breath trying to ease the pain flowing through my chest. This is exactly why I didn’t want to talk to her anymore, it fucking hurts too much. I told her I didn’t love her anymore and I wouldn’t be surprised if I got struck by lightning for telling that massive lie. She would never know it, but that was the first time I ever lied to her and I did it on purpose.
I woke up the next day with a massive headache but the smell of bacon practically dragged me out of bed. I hopped in the shower and threw on some sweats and made my way upstairs. My girl Sam was at the kitchen so I snuck up behind her grabbed her waist and smacked a big wet kiss on her cheek.
She spun around and swatted me. “Nick... You keep that up and I’m going to take advantage of you. What did I tell you about walking around in the morning with no shirt on?”
I grinned at her. “I have to show off all this sexiness for you. I know that you don’t get this type of view with James. You know where my bed is, I’m sure he’s a sound sleeper.”
She shook her head and I heard a voice behind me. “Nick, leave my wife alone. Isn’t it too early for you to start your shit?”
I frowned at him, “It is never too early for sexy Sam. I know you remember that day she said she wanted me.” I reminded him for the millionth time. I think Sam is starting to regret the day she flirted with me when I begged her to let me stay at their house after Landon and Lucy had broken up. Lucy was avoiding him and didn’t want to go back to the house at the time and I knew that Mel would hang with her wherever she was staying. Well, that should be enough explanation, I wanted to stay too so that I could see Mel.
Keeping Her (The Lexington Series Book 2) Page 22