Without You I Have Nothing

by J A Scooter

  It took some time for Jennifer to realize what he had asked and even longer to force herself to answer.

  Peter had to strain to hear her words.

  “Peter I want you and need you so much at this moment that I don’t want you to stop but,” she paused, struggling with her emotions, “I have to be honest and say I want to wait until our wedding night. Can you wait too?”

  Agonizing over her answer, she continued with a smile, “But if this is what I have to look forward to on our wedding night then I want the wedding to come quickly.”

  Peter fell back on the rug, his arms wide. He was gasping, trying to regain his composure and to appear normal once more. The hard shape of his erection was blatantly obvious in this position. He drew in a sharp breath and sat up.

  “What a pity,” he said, in a mock mournful tone, reaching across to straighten her skirt and button her blouse. Lying down again, he pulled her face tight against his chest as he let out a loud scream to the sky.

  “Dear Agony Aunt, what in heaven’s name do I do now?” He gave a little laugh.

  Keeping her close and safe, he kissed her neck and her forehead as they both struggled to regain their equilibrium.

  Jennifer looked up. Holding Peter’s face in her hands, she studied his eyes. “We almost did it, eh? I’m glad you had control because I had lost mine completely. Thank you for your understanding and consideration. It makes me love you even more.”

  “Jennifer you are so sweet, so fragrant, so soft and so passionate. All mine, all mine! I belong to you and I’m yours and yours only. You belong to me and you’re mine. Thank you God.”

  Mute and unmoving, they lay together gazing up at the branches overhead, savoring the moment as their bodies recovered from their moment of madness.

  “Wow!” The soft exclamation from Peter was the sound that brought them back to reality.

  Then, with the heat of the moment receding, they dozed.

  Jennifer awoke slowly, aware Peter’s hands were moving tenderly across her shoulders, down her back and across her buttocks, savoring the sweet curves and the tightness there before retracing their steps. Knowing he wasn’t trying to arouse her, she smiled and snuggled even closer to the man who was her love.

  “I know you’re awake, Jennifer - you’ve stopped snoring.”

  “That’s not fair!” She gave him a quick slap on his chest.

  “Jennifer, can I ask a huge favor of you? I want to delay telling your parents until after 8 on Thursday night. Do you think that’s possible?”

  “Why?” Jennifer sat up, pushed Peter onto his back and straddled him, not allowing him to move. “That seems so strange. Why Thursday? Why that time? You really can be perplexing, Peter.”

  “Well,” unwilling to reveal his plans, Peter was thinking hard. “I want to make the announcement really special, so bear with me - humor me - just this once. I want this surprise to be memorable. Please Jennifer can we wait?”

  Jennifer stared at him for a long time before answering. “You know I’ll find it very, very hard to keep this to myself, but okay, I won’t spoil your fun. Perhaps I might enjoy it.”

  Showing surprising strength Peter pulled her over, reversing their position until he was straddling her. “Thank you!” he smiled, gazing into her shining eyes. “I am the luckiest man in the whole world. Thursday evening will be special. However, it’s getting late so we’d better be getting back before they send a search party.”

  Monday rolled into Tuesday, Tuesday rolled into Wednesday and nothing seemed different to the family other than the amount of time Peter spent on the phone using a strange language and a notable increase in Jennifer’s bubbly, infectious mood.

  When Peter took off on his motor bike with a “Got some special business to do,” no one asked a question or seemed surprised. Since Peter had joined them as a guest in their home, there always seemed to be something special in the air and the family accepted it.

  Jennifer’s buoyant spirits didn’t escape Andrew’s notice, however. Over the breakfast table, Andrew took a good look at his sister.

  “Is Jennifer ill or something?” he remarked to the assembled group. “She seems on top of the world.” He adopted his familiar teasing tone. “Come on Sis, what about a frown so we know you’re alive.”

  When Peter asked him to take the family to town for the day on Thursday and to return promptly at 6 in the evening, it didn’t surprise Andrew in the least.

  “There’s something in the air, eh? I thought as much,” he said with a look of smug satisfaction. His expression changed to one of shock when Peter handed him a wad of money.

  “All expenses are on me,” Peter said. “Take the family to a really good lunch.”

  At last, Thursday arrived on leaden feet. True to his word, Andrew had the family in the car early. Peter’s excuse that his ribs were sore was enough for Jennifer to volunteer to stay with him, but Andrew dragged her into the car.

  “No you don’t. I don’t trust the two of you together on a lonely farm. Never know what you’ll get up to.”

  Eventually - so it seemed to Peter - they left. There was much to do. Hours later, an army bus rolled up the drive and the driver parked out of sight behind the shearing shed.

  On the farm, the surprise had begun.

  With the traffic light on the road back from Melbourne, the time quickly passed with constant light-hearted chatter and laughter.

  It was twilight as Andrew drove into the grounds of what he believed was his home and stopped, disoriented by the sight before him, unable to comprehend this was their driveway and their house.

  Fascinated, the family could only stare at the myriad fairy lights bordering the driveway scattered in the trees and around the garden. The lights took their attention totally, so amazed were they at the sight.

  “What’s Peter up to now?” Jennifer exclaimed turning to her parents as if they could supply an answer.

  Twin lines of brown-skinned, moon-faced, stocky little men dressed in army uniforms stood at attention at either side of the entrance steps. Each wore a white cummerbund around his waist and white gloves on his hands.

  A tall, imposing, heavily bearded figure also in uniform and wearing a khaki turban stood at the top of the steps, and as the car stopped, he barked an order.

  Four of the soldiers ran to open the doors and saluted the passengers.

  Introducing himself in chant-like, heavily accented English as Rajit Singh, the turbaned officer, with head nodding from side to side, welcomed them. “May I have the pleasure of welcoming you to Sahib Peter’s Deepavali Party?” He seemed almost sad as he continued. “Sahib Peter is absent on special business, but he promised to return as soon as possible. He should be here soon.”

  At first apprehensive at the strangeness of the situation, the family seemed to relax a little once this unfamiliar officer mentioned Peter’s name. As well, his imposing presence and his obvious care for their comfort reassured them.

  Patiently he explained that in Hinduism, Deepavali is perhaps the most well known Hindu festival - the Festival of Lights. Houses all over India and Nepal twinkle with tiny lights from clay lamps, lit to welcome the god Rama.

  He pointed to the two statues on either side of their doorway and introduced them. The first was Rama, one of the most important manifestations of God, and the second, the goddess Lakshmi the Hindu Goddess of wealth, light, wisdom and fortune and also of luck, beauty, courage and fertility.

  “Please escort the memsahib and the young memsahib to their places. Bring the sahib and the young sahib with you.” Rajit Singh turned to lead the way to the dining room.

  A soldier walked with Elizabeth and another accompanied Jennifer. A third soldier guided Eric and a fourth ushered Andrew.

  Walking silently behind the women, Eric and Andrew allowed themselves to be guided, unable to comprehend what was happening. They heard Elizabeth’s whisper to Jennifer. “What’s going on?”

  Jennifer’s offhand answer didn’t inspi
re them with confidence. “I think the army’s taken us over for the night, but which army I’m not certain.”

  The hallway and dining room were ablaze with the flickering lights from small wicks burning in the miniature clay lamps and there was a strange smell of incense in the air.

  It was not until one soldier bent to hold Elizabeth’s chair that Jennifer saw a Kukri hanging from his belt under his cummerbund.

  Looking around, she noticed strange goblets on the table - each bearing the same coat of arms. The tumblers were not the usual and the settings were not the usual - indeed only the table, the chairs and the room were recognizable.

  She picked up a silver goblet and studied the coat of arms. Her thoughts made her smile. 'Peter is a bugger. The coat of arms is the same as that on his plaque. What is he up to this time?'

  Her wondering thoughts went unanswered. No matter how hard she concentrated, she couldn’t come up with a solution as to why he had arranged this strange party. This was surely going to be a memorable night.

  Deliberately, she looked around for other clues and noticed the officer studying her carefully. 'Why is the officer observing me like that? Peter has left on business or has he?'

  She studied the officer more carefully and noted the Kukri at his waist. Peter was certainly a loveable rogue, but she was wondering what he’d planned. This game of his, as he acted the part of a Sikh Officer, would be most interesting.

  At least, she knew the answer to her mother’s question and her heart sang as she leant across to set her mother’s worries at rest. “I believe this is another of Peter’s typical surprises. Moreover, guess what? He will be here soon. Tell Dad and Andrew, but don’t let any of the soldiers hear.”

  Her mother had to strain to hear Jennifer’s whisper. Grinning, she did as Jennifer suggested. The haunted look in Eric’s eyes disappeared as he acknowledged the message and the family sat back to enjoy the party.

  Taking up his position at the door, Rajit Singh clapped his hands. The soldiers immediately sprang to attention and began singing ‘Abide with Me’. Although the family recognized the tune, the words were unrecognizable. For the family, it was an emotional moment.

  “That was one of Mahatma Gandhi’s favorite hymns and it’s played by the combined bands of the Indian Defense Forces during the annual Beating of the Retreat Ceremony held on 29th January,” the officer announced when the hymn ended. “Please enjoy this humble meal.”

  Again, he clapped his hands and the waiters - or maybe they were soldiers; by now, Jennifer was perplexed - served the first course.

  Eric and Andrew were lost for words.

  Smiling broadly, as if they knew a secret, the waiters placed small serving after small serving before the family members until they had tasted every dish - from a white curry through to a black curry. Their taste buds reeled from the variety of dishes, and at last, they sat back, unable to continue.

  “I see you’re almost finished, but I do beg that you partake of a special sweet I have personally arranged for you.” Rajit Singh again spoke English to them with that singsong Indian accent accompanied by his nodding head, although throughout the dinner, his orders had been in a language no one at the table recognized.

  The conversation had been subdued.

  The waiters placed a bowl of iced water and a single peeled barely ripe banana on a plate before each of the family. Then a waiter stood beside each of them and dipped their banana into a bowl of molten toffee before plunging it into iced water. They placed a Toffee Banana on each plate then stood back.

  Jennifer was first to taste. “Is this your recipe Rajit Singh? If it is, you will never leave this farm.”

  The tone of her voice made the others look up from their plates before tasting their sweets. The twinkle in her eyes boded ill for someone.

  “The young Mem is too kind.” His eyes glowed as he gave a slight bow in thanks. Then he continued. “My men are delighted you have enjoyed their endeavors. If you have finished your meal, would you all be so gracious as to follow me. I believe Sahib Peter will be joining you soon.”

  He led the way to the lounge that was mellow in the light of numerous small candles.

  Jennifer gasped to see Peter’s altar before the fireplace together with the pictures of his mother and father on the coffee table. Two of the family’s chairs and the settee were set in such a way that they faced both altar and pictures.

  “Please be seated and coffee will be brought to you immediately.”

  The Sikh Officer barked an order and four soldiers marched in carrying trays holding coffee for each member of the family.

  Only Jennifer thought it strange that the waiters had known the preferences of each family member. She was now positive that the game had progressed to the next stage.

  Standing, slowly she began to walk to Rajit Singh. Reaching up to kiss his cheek, she whispered, “Peter you really can be most difficult and perplexing.”

  Ignoring her, Rajit Singh barked a long stream of orders. The soldiers left and the door closed. Only then, did he snake his arm around Jennifer’s waist and lift her off the floor to kiss her.

  Immediately the family men folk leapt up but Jennifer, struggling out of Rajit’s arms to regain her feet began to laugh.

  “Mum, Dad, Andrew. May I introduce Peter O’Brien?”

  Slowly, unwinding the full length of the perfectly constructed shape, Peter allowed the turban to fall to the floor. Bareheaded, he removed pieces of uniform, casting them aside where they joined the turban. At last, he removed the brown contact lenses. He stood in just a dhoti - an Indian loincloth.

  Laughing, Peter hugged Jennifer again.

  “I was praying you’d go along with me for that party as it was special. I needed to take all of you out of your comfort zone.

  “Do you like my Gurkha friends? Yes they’re real, and yes, they’re in the British Army, out here on training exercises.”

  The hubbub of questions stopped when Peter held up his hand.

  “Tonight I will answer all your questions about my family and my history. However, before the evening progresses any further, I must warn you that I’ll become very emotional and will do things that are completely out of your experience.

  “I know the facts may alarm you and may even sicken you, but I’ve decided that I’ll go ahead and give you my total history exactly as it was. I won’t gloss over the facts.

  “You’ve asked questions and I’ll give you the truth about me - my life - my history. Nothing less will do. Don’t hesitate to ask questions and I’ll answer them truthfully, although the revelation may turn you against me. It’s a risk I’ll take for the sake of Jennifer.”

  “Now for my history.”

  Slowly, Peter walked to the altar and knelt, knowing that Jennifer’s family could see his heavily scarred back for the first time. Behind him, he could hear the family’s reactions as Elizabeth gasped at the sight and Eric sucked in a deep breath. Andrew’s exclamation, “My God!” showed he also had seen the scars.

  Bewildered and stunned by the sight of Peter’s back, no one dared ask a question.

  Peter lit the customary joss sticks and silently prayed before turning to face the family. His eyes blazed with an intensity Jennifer had never seen as he moved to the coffee table and put his hands on the photographs.

  “Perhaps you’ve guessed that these are photos of my mother and father. But first, let me start at the beginning.”

  Fascinated, Jennifer watched as Peter stood in front of her father. Then he sank to the floor prostrating himself. He inched forward to place his forehead on her father’s shoes before repeating the actions on her mother’s sandals.

  Standing slowly, he turned his back on them and lowered his dhoti so they could see his back and buttocks.

  Aghast the family gasped and, satisfied that they had seen clearly, Peter retied his dhoti.

  Again, he prostrated himself before Jennifer’s parents and then moved into a kneeling position. With head held high
, demanding their attention with his steady gaze, he faced them proudly.

  “Eric and Elizabeth, I love your daughter deeply. She will never want for material things and she will never want for my love. In spite of my many failings, I am begging your permission to marry Jennifer.”

  Smiling kindly, Eric rose to lift Peter to his feet.

  “Elizabeth and I would be most honored to welcome you into our family, but don’t you think you had better ask Jennifer? Only she can say yes. However, if it’s any consolation, Elizabeth and I would be delighted.”

  Peter turned to Jennifer and sinking to his knees, he stared into her eyes as if trying to read her soul. Hesitantly he took her hands.

  “Jennifer, I asked you down by the creek and the answer was ‘Yes’. I love you with all my heart and soul. With you, I have everything, without you, I have nothing. I am asking you again in these formal surroundings. Will you marry me? Or have you perhaps changed your mind?”

  Jennifer rose and with her eyes gleaming with love, her face wreathed in a broad smile she pulled him to his feet, staring into his eyes. “Peter, I said yes then and I will say yes every day for the rest of my life. Yes I will marry you.”

  Peter reached for her left hand and slipped a ring onto her finger.

  “God, now he’s torn it. You’ll be sorry! Take it from me. I’ve lived all my life with her.” Andrew couldn’t restrain himself but no one took the slightest notice.

  “I thought you had something special to tell us.” Eric grinned, and pulled Elizabeth onto his lap. “Well, young man, you’ve certainly given the family a great present - yourself.”

  Fighting her way out of her husband’s lap Elizabeth swooped on them, kissing them both, then examined Jennifer’s engagement ring.

  “Peter it’s beautiful.” She looked down again and shook her head. “It’s absolutely beautiful!”

  The two women laughed and cried while Peter watched, dumbfounded.

  “A deep green emerald surrounded by diamonds in a setting of platinum. Peter it’s magnificent.” Elizabeth hugged Peter before leading Jennifer to her father and brother to display the ring.