Without You I Have Nothing

by J A Scooter

  Their kiss deepened and a soft moan escaped Jennifer's lips. Peter's mouth swallowed the sound. His mouth was driving her wilder with excitement with each passing moment. She felt his hands moving over her back, trying to explore her like a new toy for the first time. Her nipples - not covered by a bra - hardened as her breasts flattened against his powerful chest. Their lips ground against each other's more and more desperately.

  She didn't want this moment to ever end.

  Suddenly she became all too aware of something protruding into her belly. Peter's manhood had come to full attention and was jutting out from between the flaps of his robe. She could feel its heat through the thin silk and she pressed her lower body tighter against him in an effort to feel it more clearly.

  Desperately Peter fought his desire. Deep down he knew he had to take things slowly.

  She had moved into Peter's arms and didn't struggle as he carried her to their bed.

  The moment he lay beside her and turned her into his throbbing body, her mind returned to the awful thought that she had to refuse him. Hiding her face in his shoulder Jennifer began weeping.

  "Please Peter. I can't.” Piteously, she lifted her eyes and sobbed, "I'm sorry. My period has started."

  "Good Lord!” Peter held her very close, pulling her face against his chest. Although shocked by the sudden turn of events, he desperately tried to make light of her admission.

  "Is that why you're crying? I thought it was something serious."

  Jennifer could hardly believe her ears. Leaning back from his arms she stared deep into his eyes through her tears. She tried to reconcile what she knew to be his bitter disappointment with the words he'd just spoken.

  Peter rolled her onto her back and stared into her eyes.

  "Jennifer, why are you so worried when I feel so relieved?” A chuckle rose from deep within his chest and Jennifer's tears stopped, as she looked even more perplexed.

  "All day I've been worrying that you were only marrying me for my body.” Peter joked, rejecting the sad feeling of refusal as it struggled to gain strength. "I'm more than a sex object you know. I've been terrified you'd want to play with my body all night and not allow me any sleep."

  Tittering, she rolled against Peter so close that every curve of her delightful body, holding promise of such pleasure, fitted into Peter. Gently he ran his hands over her negligee, exploring her body so softly and so carefully so as not to arouse her or worry her. He restrained his exploration to her back and shoulders.

  Suddenly he rolled onto his back and shouted at the ceiling.

  "Dear Dorothy Dix, what the hell do I do now?"

  He felt a pillow biff him and he wrestled Jennifer until she lay beneath him. He stroked her face until her laughter ceased. "Still worried?” he enquired.

  She shook her head. "No."

  "How do you feel, Mrs. O'Brien?"

  "I feel good,” she replied.

  "Can I have a feel to check?"

  Jennifer gurgled. "Oh no, you don't! Didn't you hear what I said?” Pulling Peter's head to her shoulder, she lay quietly, stroking his cheek.

  Against her neck, he murmured softly, close to her ear. "Tomorrow you'll be in a new country. While you're there you might find the girls at work were correct about your honeymoon being a study tour of bedroom ceilings."

  The tension was broken.

  Their sleep was fitful - little catnaps snatched between whisperings, lots of kissing and becoming accustomed to each other's bodies and the noises they made. All night Peter was painfully aware that Jennifer's softness was calling him. Her femininity drugged him and he wondered whether she knew.

  Jennifer lay there, eyes closed, amazed at Peter's reaction to the bad news. She could feel his 'maleness', his 'boy's germs' as Andrew and she called them when children. He felt so hard and so, well, delicious she could feel herself reaching out to entice him.

  'But I can't,' she thought. 'I won't, I want it to be unique not spoilt by anything, as there can be no repetition. The first time must be special. I can't. I won’t.’ The thoughts hammered into her consciousness.

  "Are you showering with me this morning, Mrs. O'Brien?” Lightly Peter kissed her eyelids open.

  "No, I’m definitely not. There wouldn't be room under the shower for the three of us,” she added pushing him to the floor.

  Later in the afternoon, at the airport, Eric, Elizabeth and Andrew were waiting when Peter and Jennifer arrived. They hugged the newlyweds and talked so much that strangers must have thought the young couple had been away for years.

  When Andrew helped Peter with the bags, Peter reminded him of the family's plans.

  "Say nothing. Jennifer doesn't know.” Grinning, Peter continued, "If our friends don't meet us we will be honeymooning in Victoria."

  "You should have stayed on last night.” Andrew laughed as he clutched his head. His bleary eyes showed his night had been long, very long. "Ted, Bob, the Commander and I caused problems for Mum. I'm sure she believed we were playing musical beds. The place was so crowded we joined your Gurkha friends in the shearing shed. Boy, can they play cards and can they drink! They're bloody dangerous. Dad crept out and joined us. We dragged a coupled of kegs over and had a party."

  Then he smiled.

  "But I suppose that would have been a poor substitute for your night.” His cheeky grin showed he wasn't being vulgar.

  As they joined the others, Andrew slid his arm across his brother-in-law's shoulders.

  "Don't know what you've done with Jennifer,” he guffawed. "She's radiant. Look at her - all eyes for you."

  Peter could see Bill Williams waving to him. Susie burst through the crowd to hug Jennifer while Big Bill hoisted Jennifer off her feet and kissed her on her nose.

  "That was the best wedding we've attended, and as for this fellow,” Bill paused to pat Peter's shoulder, "actually a dark horse."

  Jennifer struggled from Bill's grasp.

  "Well get on with it,” Susie urged Bill. "Bill, give Jennifer their tickets and passports."

  "This makes everything official. Here are your First Class Tickets and Peter's passport.” Smiling broadly he continued, "Mrs. O'Brien this is your brand new passport. Took a bit of getting it in your married name seeing you were only married yesterday but I've got friends."

  "Look out Asia here we come!” Peter's voice showed the relief he felt.

  "Oh Peter,” Jennifer hung around Peter's neck, her feet off the floor, "I'm so lucky. Imagine travelling First Class.” She turned to Susie. "Thank you for all your support."

  Then hugging Susie she added, "Thanks for being our friend.” Reaching up to kiss Bill she bubbled, "Bill, I'm so happy."

  With all the formalities of boarding completed and their seatbelts tightened, they held hands as the jet clawed its way aloft.

  "When your four 'sisters' said they'd be seeing me in this coming week and I asked where, all they did was giggle.” Jennifer turned from the view of Melbourne to speak to Peter.

  One of the cabin crew interrupted their whisperings. "Captain's compliments! His best wishes to Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien.” The hostess handed them each a brimming glass of champagne and left them the bottle to consume.

  Seven hours later, as the plane began its long descent into Singapore Jennifer ignored Peter. With her nose pressed to the window, she watched the fairy lights of the city appear.

  They stepped out of the air-conditioned arrivals' lounge onto the footpath into what Jennifer believed was a wall of heat and humidity.

  When their black limousine swung into the kerb to meet them, the driver jumped out to greet Peter most warmly in Cantonese. Jennifer wasn't surprised. With their luggage safely loaded and between comments on the passing scenery, Jennifer turned to Peter.

  "Remind me,” she demanded. "Which hotel, did we decide on?"

  "Surely there's only one for honeymooners like us. Raffles - Somerset Maugham country."

  The moment the room boy left and closed the door, Jennifer skipped f
rom room to room exploring.

  "Heavens! Surely these rooms aren't all for us? There's a writing room, a lounge room and a bathroom that's gigantic. This is beautiful, Peter. Look at the furniture - all that cane work - exquisite. Listen! The fans creak as they revolve. This is beautiful."

  "I booked us into the old section of Raffles. I thought you would appreciate the atmosphere more than the air-conditioned chrome of the modern building.

  "Are you too tired to eat?” Peter asked, hoping that she'd want to go out and explore the eateries close by the Hotel. "Or shall we order room-service? How about we at least go down to the bar and have a famous Raffles Gin Sling and perhaps follow the tiger's footsteps?” He went on to explain the story of the tiger entering the billiard room many years previously.

  Jennifer was excited at the prospect of the Gin Sling option. Hurriedly they showered and changed before exploring the hotel and its surrounds.

  In the bar, they sipped the Gin Slings and soaked up the atmosphere. Peter ordered a light meal of Nyonya Laksa. Expensively dressed people from all nationalities chattered at various tables. In the background soft mood music played, and Jennifer immediately reminded Peter of the night when they first met.

  "To think I believed you were gay!” They were still laughing as they headed back to the room.

  In bed, Peter held her again, but at least tiredness muted the ache of his desire. They slept until the first call to prayer at the local mosque rang in their ears. The boom, boom, boom of a drum, then the rising cadence of the Imam's call to prayer woke Jennifer.

  Startled, she shook Peter awake. "My god what's that? What's going on? It's the middle of the night. Has war broken out?"

  "It's day already, that's a call to the faithful for prayers. Don't worry you're safe,” was Peter's reply as he wrapped Jennifer in his arms and began kissing her shoulder. "The sun will be up in a few minutes as it's very quick in the tropics. One minute it's dark - the next it's broad daylight. This is the coolest part of the day."

  Then, realizing the frostiness that met his kisses, he lay still, cuddling her.

  As the day heated, he rose and suggested she join him for a swim.

  "I can't,” was her excuse as she patted Peter's hand. "Off you go, I'll rest for a while and then I'll come down. We'll have breakfast together and go exploring."

  It was not long before screaming and shouting disturbed Jennifer, drawing her to the windows. Throwing open the shutters she leaned out, needing to discover what was causing the fuss.

  Below were well-manicured gardens, palms, lawns and the pool. Peter had dropped the robe he had worn from the room and his sarong lay around his ankles. Standing at the edge of the pool clad only in the briefest of swimmers he was about to dive in.

  Gardeners, room boys and servants were all pointing at him and shouting. More and more were pouring out into the garden area and pointing at his back. Shutters swung open and more heads poked out as guests wondered what was causing the cacophony. Fingers pointed and arms rose until someone from the office appeared and approached Peter.

  It was obvious by the gesticulations that this person was questioning Peter about his back, until Peter tired of the nonsense and roared a message in Cantonese that resounded throughout the hotel. He threw his head back and roared again in Tamil and there was a deathly silence as, much crestfallen, the workers returned to their work.

  Day after day, Singapore swallowed them in spite of the heat and humidity. Every street corner offered a new kaleidoscope of life - sounds, colors, smells and tastes. Each night they collapsed into bed, but the moment Peter allowed himself to become amorous, Jennifer froze and, becoming tense, rejected his advances.

  Peter knew he was becoming irritable under the strain, but tried to hide his tension behind a screen of false jollity.

  Then one night, Jennifer's words, as she slipped into the bed beside him, revealed she had noticed. "I'm sorry Peter, it's not my fault.” Weeping she sobbed, "But why have you kept me at such a distance?"

  "You're being silly again. There's no blame. If I've kept my distance, it's because I'm terrified I'll lose my self-control. My body's been a raging inferno - a bush-fire almost out of control every moment of the day.

  "Walking beside you in the street makes me want to grab you. Studying your bum as you sashay up the escalators in front of me turns me on. Shopping or here in this room I'm on fire. Many times, I've had to pull back from ripping down the bathroom door and chasing you around and around the shower. If I don't hold you at a distance I'll eat you right up and not even spit out the bones."

  Giving a bear-like growl, he began chewing her ears and neck in a mock ferocious manner.

  Laughing at the pictures he had put in her mind, Jennifer pulled him against her breasts and ran her hands over his back.

  Peter's hands brushed her negligee from her shoulders but his kisses and fingertips brought no response. It was time to sleep, yet as he dozed, he began to doubt her excuse. How would he know if she was telling the truth? Women were a mystery to him and he'd never listened to men's coarse jokes about such things. Oh well, why would he worry? At least he was sleeping beside the woman he loved.

  The slow creaking of the fan lulled him to sleep.

  Noting how the employees were particularly deferential to him, even admiring him, Peter realized the display of his bare back had caused the change. He was no longer a tourist.

  Out shopping, Jennifer began to realize that plans were afoot but couldn't decipher the conundrum. She heard Peter talking on his phone in Cantonese in a conversation where he seemed to be accepting directions. Someone was organizing something big. In his typical fashion, Peter was being secretive and she didn't want to spoil his game.

  When they sat for coffee, his mind seemed pre-occupied as he wrote notes on serviettes before slipping them into his pocket. At times she gave him an enquiring look, hoping he'd give up the secret but he took no notice, merely giving her a smug smile and at the same time showing her all the love and devotion of a newly married man.

  On Wednesday, before Peter left for his daily swim, he snuggled up to Jennifer and kissed her. He whispered in her ear. "Don't waste time this morning as you're having breakfast with my Chinese sisters. They'll be here within the hour to take you off for a day's special shopping. We'll all meet up at 8pm.

  "I'll be spending the day with my Chinese father. Enjoy the day, make good use of the credit card and don't worry as you are in safe hands."

  Clutching his towel and wearing his robe over his swimmers, he departed, leaving Jennifer lying dazed, trying to absorb his words.

  She drifted in and out of sleep until, hearing a polite knock, she hastily leapt out of bed and wrapped a hotel bathrobe around her before opening the door.

  There stood Peter's two Chinese sisters smiling broadly.

  Jennifer felt embarrassed at the way she looked and suddenly Peter's words became reality, not the dream she thought they were.

  "Zǎo shang hǎo, Jennifer,” they said in unison as they giggled and each one hugged her before reverting to English.

  "Good morning Jennifer,” said one of them.

  "We thought that Peter would have warned you we were coming but he was probably very excited about spending the day with Father. How are you enjoying Singapore?” the other asked.

  Still highly embarrassed, Jennifer explained that Peter did in fact tell her but she thought she was dreaming as tiredness had overwhelmed her. She admitted that she was feeling the humidity.

  "Oh we'll fix that for you."

  Picking up the phone Lee-Lee ordered two fresh lime and sodas - one with sugar and one without. Within minutes, the drinks arrived and the twins ordered Jennifer to drink both, starting with the unsweetened one.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, Jennifer took a sip and immediately screwed up her face, as the bitter liquid seemed to flood every crevice of her body.

  Lu-Lu and Lee-Lee could only laugh as Jennifer struggled to drink the entire glass.
<
br />   "Now drink the next one.” Lee-Lee handed her the sweetened offering.

  This proved to be more palatable and Jennifer could feel it refreshing her.

  "These will be your drinks all day,” said Lee-Lee. "It will combat the dehydration and make you feel stronger. Tonight is going to be very special and we want you in good health."

  Lu-Lu added her instructions. "We'll wait while you shower and dress and then be on our way as we have a big day planned. Let us know when you're feeling low again from the humidity and we'll rest."

  Quickly, Jennifer readied herself and the three were on their way.

  Passing Peter on his way back to the room from his swim, Jennifer gave him a quick kiss and couldn't resist waving his credit card under his nose.

  "We'll go to The Cold Storage for breakfast then hit the stores!” These were the words as they climbed into a taxi and simply asked for Orchard Road.

  The day had started and Jennifer knew it was going to be long, busy and interestingly different.

  The first stop after breakfast was with a Chinese seamstress who obviously knew the girls well. When introduced in English, Jennifer found out that this older lady was their aunty who had owned the shop for years. Before she knew it, she was removing her clothes and was standing in her bra and panties.

  Tape measures seemed to be everywhere and the seamstress draped an exquisite gold brocade fabric around her as she took Jennifer's measurements for a Cheongsam.

  All conversation was in Cantonese. Jennifer agreed with the choice of fabric and style, knowing that all this was part of Peter's planning from the previous days. She didn't understand a word, yet she understood what was happening amidst all the smiling, shouting pandemonium.

  Lu-Lu and Lee-Lee must have told Aunty about Jennifer's dehydration as she produced two tall glasses of fresh lime and soda. She insisted that Jennifer sit and drink both in the correct order - sour then sweet.

  The two girls picked out the same brocade fabric in red and ordered three dresses.

  Jennifer produced Peter's credit card but felt humbled as the twins told her to put it away as Father was paying.