Without You I Have Nothing

by J A Scooter

  The crowd was quiet and the silence seemed to continue indefinitely.

  Jennifer looked around and was not surprised to see her parents seated to her left and her new Tamil sisters sitting on either side of Andrew, who for once was silent - overcome by the weird situation.

  Eventually the faintest tinkling of a bell broke the silence and a tall, bearded figure clad in long white robes strode into the room followed by two women carrying a huge brass tray between them on which a single flame was visible. Two halves of a cracked coconut framed the flickering flame.

  The priest, as Jennifer surmised, approached Peter and knelt. He dipped his fingers into the white powder on the tray, and forcing Peter's mouth open, flicked some or the powder onto his tongue before anointing him with some of the milk from the open coconut.

  Duplicating his actions with Jennifer, he stood, and, holding the tray high above Jennifer and Peter, he went into a trance while chanting in a monotonous high-pitched voice.

  Just as suddenly as he began, he stopped chanting, broke free of his trance, wheeled around and disappeared through the main entrance.

  The silence continued as white-clad waiters carrying brass trays appeared and dolloped huge mounds of rice on the banana leaves before each of the guests. Peter quietly whispered to Jennifer, "Remember right hand only.” before resuming his formal position, staring stoically ahead.

  The guests feasted on curries of various hues and degrees of heat, until Peter's Tamil Father clapped his hands and the waiters cleared the remnants of the meal, including the banana leaves. He then took a bowl and a towel which he draped over his arm.

  As he approached, Peter extended his hands. His Tamil father washed Peter's hands and dried them before repeating the action with Jennifer.

  Immediately the silence broke with everyone standing and moving to talk with Peter and Jennifer, until a sea of saris swept them up. Her family suddenly broke through the throng to tell her of their adventures.

  She could only laugh when her brother capped their stories by saying, "You have married a family of drunkards. Dad and I are still recovering from a night on the tiles drinking Toddy (the drawn sap, especially, when fermented, of any of several toddy palms, used as a drink) with your relations. Boy can they drink! I am sure they have hollow legs."

  Before she became too engrossed in her family's adventures, her twin sisters rescued her.

  "Jennifer, you did well. Fancy banana leaves and fingers for a meal?” Nethianie began giggling.

  Sasimala continued, "We would have warned you, but father would have been most unhappy had we done so. Peter must've warned you of our customs. Your parents and brother did well too. It must have been even stranger for them."

  Nethianie cut across her sister's words. "Wait a bit, we're going nightclubbing. Hope we haven't worn you out. We're taking Andrew too."

  It wasn't long before Peter's Tamil Father approached Jennifer. "You're a worthy wife to our Peter. If only my wife had lived long enough to be here tonight. Now off you go with my daughters and don't let them get you into too much trouble."

  With the three women leading the way, Peter and Andrew followed and slipped into the limousine beside the driver while the girls prattled incessantly in the back.

  At the nightclub, Jennifer was astounded when two young men joined them and Peter introduced them as the twins' husbands.

  "But I didn't see either of you at the banquet!” she exclaimed.

  With broad smiles they replied, "Of course not, you only had eyes for Peter."

  Andrew was still busy dancing with young women who were demanding his attention when, many hours later, Jennifer and Peter left.

  Peter looked quite pleased when his sisters lightly kissed him on the cheek. "Tomorrow morning's transport is arranged, Peter” was Nethianie's whispered comment.

  When he turned to see if Jennifer had heard, he found her watching her brother with his arms around a particularly elegant young Indian and was unaware of the conversation.

  A limousine waited to take them back to the hotel. As they drove, Jennifer silently cuddled into Peter.

  Back in the hotel room Peter laughed, "Come here my sexy wife."

  He sat on the bed arms, his outstretched calling Jennifer. Getting no response and hearing nothing he walked into the lounge area to see Jennifer standing patiently, hands at her side, grinning and waiting for him.

  "No, you come here my sexy husband!” Giggling, she stared at him as her hands began removing his clothing while Peter struggled to hold her hands. "Oh, no you don't,” Jennifer laughed as she pushed his hands aside. "What's good for the gander is good for this goose."

  They stripped each other, with more attention to kissing than to removing clothes, playfully pushing and shoving each other until they were under the shower and washing the heat of the evening and the tiredness from their bodies.

  Then, exhausted after the long, difficult day they lay quietly in each other's arms talking over the day's events.

  "I'm going on strike - yes, truly, a big strike too,” Jennifer sounded annoyed as Peter's eyes opened wide in surprise, "if you ever, ever, ever put me in a position like tonight again! Fancy, not warning me about the banquet! Banana leaves and fingers. Listen boyo, this farm girl gave up such things when she put away her dollies and her doll's house!”

  Kissing her hair, Peter dragged her against his shoulder.

  "I was sworn to secrecy by my father and my sisters were threatened with death if they warned you. The banana leaves were a mark of great honor to the pair of us and you won everyone's heart, even if you didn't have much success scooping up the liquid curries."

  A punch in the arm was the reply to his comment.

  "I didn't even have time to talk to Mum, Dad or Andrew very much. Your Tamil father manipulated me all night, but it was a wonderful way of welcoming us - different, very different - but still considerate."

  Soon their voices dimmed and they slept.

  Chapter 14 Forewarnings

  In the darkness of early morn, Peter lay awake, thinking of the day ahead. 'Yes, my sisters said that they had arranged transport to take us up country. I am prepared yes and yes, I am with my wife.

  Looking at the clock he realized it was almost time to leave. He nudged Jennifer until she groaned, "Let me sleep, I'm so tired, just let me sleep."

  "Sweetheart, I've been a demanding arrogant husband - bossing you around - buying your clothes - being a real male chauvinistic pig. Please tolerate me today and I promise you that after today you'll choose what we're to do.

  "However, I'm claiming today as mine, and it will be the last time I boss you. We're equals in this marriage, although right now you are probably thinking otherwise. Today we're flying by helicopter to visit my father's grave, my mother's grave and then the Malay aborigines who gave me a life.

  "Our day will finish in Penang - the island where my horror began. We'll be staying at one of the great Hotels of the East. The 'Peninsular and Orient', the old P&O as it's lovingly called. I'll take you to my old school. Then we'll go to where I lived.

  "The ghosts will finally be laid to rest. Just put up with my emotions today. It's really going to be most difficult for me, but with you beside me I'll gain the strength I need."

  Within the hour, Jennifer sat between the pilot and Peter in the bubble cockpit with seemingly nothing between her and the soft greens below. Clinging tightly to Peter's hand, Jennifer felt the chopper swivel and swoop. She listened to Peter's reassuring voice in her headphones as he calmly navigated their route.

  Then, with a stomach-lurching drop, the chopper landed on a wide expanse of green where a road swung around in a big loop. As soon as the blades hissed to a standstill, Peter helped Jennifer to the ground, and hand in hand, they walked across the road to the jungle's edge.

  She felt the tension building up in him as his hand tightened in hers. They approached the solitary white cross which had almost disappeared into the foliage around it. She found it hard to re
ad the brass plaque. 'Wing Commander... shot... No trace of his wife or son...' was as far as she got before tears began streaming from her eyes.

  Peter sank to his knees.

  With her hand on his shoulder, Jennifer wondered how she, who was overcome by the heat, the silence, the tranquility and the words on the plaque, could possibly be of any comfort to her husband.

  Neither moved until the distant sound of a truck painfully crawling its way up the mountainside broke the silence.

  Only then did Peter stand, and with his arm around Jennifer said, "Dad, this is your daughter-in-law whom I love most deeply."

  A sudden puff of air plucked at Jennifer's hair and in spite of the intense heat, she shivered.

  "Thank you Dad. I'm glad you're pleased."

  Mutely they stood until the noise of the truck faded into the distance.

  Jennifer jumped as Peter's voice broke across the jungle. "Guide me Oh Thou Great Jehovah...” and the words seemed to come from his heart with such intensity that Jennifer wept as she put her arm around his waist hugging him to her.

  Slowly and pensively, they walked back to board the tiny chopper again.

  Spiraling into the clouds before dashing northwards, the chopper eventually swooped low over the jungle rooftop once more. Soft, lush green seemed to stretch forever until Peter leant across to tap the pilot's leg, pointing down.

  Jennifer couldn't see any break in the trees - any clearing - but still the chopper began to float carefully and gently downwards until, with a slight bump, they landed, and the oppressive heat and peacefulness replaced the noise of the engine.

  The pilot hastily left the cockpit to stand beside the chopper with a rifle.

  "Tiger country Mem,” he commented.

  Realizing the danger, Jennifer shuddered at the words.

  Peter - a different Peter - dropped to the ground. Crouching low and ignoring Jennifer, he ran towards the derelict huts, virtually covered in undergrowth. He didn't stop running until he reached a spot that would once have been in the center of the group of buildings. There he dropped to his knees, ignoring the mud.

  Jennifer could hear the wail of his agony as he looked at four wooden faded white pegs still hammered into the ground and showing signs of loving care.

  Not wanting to intrude in his sorrow, yet knowing, as his wife, she was now part of his experiences, she slowly walked to join him.

  The oppressive heat, the cruel humidity, the absence of any sound and the absolute dearth of any breeze made Jennifer wonder how he had managed for all those years. The air seemed to be pushing down on her and very quickly, she was perspiring freely. Her clothes clung to her skin like wet rags and her hair hung lankly to her shoulders. The jungle distressed her, but this day was not about her. She had to stand by her husband and comfort him in his misery.

  "Mum! Why, why, why? Why didn't I save you? Why, why, why?” He threw his head up and screamed his agony to the heavens as tears streamed from his eyes.

  A quick puff of air seemed to be tugging at Jennifer's skirt and didn't die until she was standing with Peter's head pulled against her legs, holding him tightly and allowing him to weep in the security of her presence.

  The only noise was the soft sound of Peter's sobbing.

  The light filtering into the clearing was almost eerie. Shadows and light seemed to be vying with each other and Jennifer felt a strange presence in the air. Still holding Peter against her body, she strained to see past the far hut. In that unnatural light, she was positive there were two people carefully studying her.

  One was a blonde female, the other a man in an Australian Air Force uniform and they were smiling at her. To clear her mind she shook her head and looked again. Only the eerie shadows returned her gaze. She was sure that two hands, one male and one female, patted her shoulder.

  Realizing she had been hallucinating in the overpowering humidity, she looked again but was startled to a wizened old man - brown and weather-beaten - kneeling in front of them.

  Gently the old man lifted Peter's head and to Jennifer's amazement, he motioned for her to step back. Although he said nothing, Jennifer knew she must obey. He peeled Peter's sweat-soaked shirt from his body as he seemed to order him to stand.

  Following his directions, Peter stood and turned.

  Seeing Peter's heavily scarred back, the old man let out a joyous whoop and the clearing was suddenly full of sarong-clad men.

  Obviously the leader, the old man extended an arm towards Jennifer, and with his palm facing downwards, waved his fingers from his wrist outwards in a gesture of dismissal. He watched her walk backwards, her eyes on him the whole time until his hand went up to stop her.

  The men lit a fire between Peter and this tribal elder. Once the fire was well ablaze, the men piled green leaves on it. Pungent, acrid smoke rose and even at her distance from the fire Jennifer's eyes began to water and her head spun from the pungent odor of the burning leaves.

  The chief studied Peter's fingers and the palms of his hands, and stared hard into his eyes as if trying to read his soul before he spoke.

  Only Peter and the sarong-clad men understood his words.

  "Little One,” croaked the chief, "you have done well and the gods are smiling on you. You are truly blessed to have this woman, as your wife.” Disdainfully the chief nodded towards Jennifer. "You and she will grow old together with your children, and will be very happy."

  Then he thrust his head up and squinted hard at Peter. Taking Peter's face in his hands he stared silently at him for whole minutes until Jennifer wanted to scream at the silence.

  "But,” he continued in the same unknown language, "the gods demand a payment, and a harsh reckoning it will be. Don't ever forget that you and she love each other and that you are together through eternity. However, you will be trialed, and the ordeal will be extremely demanding and dangerous. It may last for the next few months or maybe even years... I cannot tell. The suffering ends when I learn to fly."

  His cackling laughter caused Jennifer to strain her eyes, peering though the misty grey smoke that concealed him and Peter, trying to see more.

  "Peter, we trained you to be a man. Now we tell you this: do not struggle against my words. They outline your destiny. There is death, many deaths, many violent deaths, but your woman loves you and is always yours no matter how it seems. Make certain The Little One never turns away from her or lets her down.

  "To assist you...,” he paused and held out an elaborately carved gold ring, "take this. It is a weapon to use in the jungle you know as civilization."

  As he did so many years previously he began teaching Peter how to use this new weapon.- a deadly cobra ring.

  Pausing, he looked into Peter's eyes carefully as if trying to decide if his words had sunk in. Then satisfied, he ordered Peter, "Bring your wife to me."

  Abruptly he dismissed Peter, not allowing for any questions, and stared into the fire as hesitantly Jennifer allowed Peter to seat her on the opposite side of the fire from the old man.

  She failed to notice that Peter had removed himself to the far side of the clearing.

  "Jennifer."

  She was visibly startled when the old man addressed her in cultured Oxford English.

  "Oh, don't look surprised. I've known your name since Peter first met you at the bar and performed - The Dance of the Little Swans - wasn't it?

  "No, never has Peter contacted me since leaving the jungle so many years ago nor did he tell anyone of his plans for today. He is secretive, that man of yours. However, for all his faults, he is a good man. He'll follow you to hell and back.

  "The near future will be extremely painful, but those demanding times will eventually end. Constantly remember that Peter is yours and you are his forever. Never lose sight of that for a single moment. To assist you, take this snake bracelet.

  "When I entwine the two bracelets it will be a symbol that the sorry saga has ended. Your life with Peter will resume with no further interference."

 
; Carefully he separated the two serpents and slid one-half of the bracelet onto Jennifer's wrist. The other half he kept.

  Jennifer studied the ornately carved, silver snake bracelet embedded with jade, rubies and diamonds. Gently she ran her fingers over the scales of the snake and was surprised that she felt an inner peace overpower her.

  "This is your destiny and to show you that, 'There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy', you will return home, and the horror will end when I learn to fly.

  "You will have twin girls who will be the first of your brood.

  "Tell no one of what I have said, but hold it in your heart."

  Still cackling at the utter amazement on Jennifer's face and disbelief that this old man of the jungle could quote Shakespeare, he stood his words at an end. With his followers, he left as quietly as he arrived.

  Peter and Jennifer were alone.

  As Jennifer stared into the glowing embers, Peter helped her to her feet.

  "Let's leave this evil place. There's nothing here for me now."

  A sudden light movement of air wafted across Jennifer's face and she sensed the voices of two people saying, "Thank you! We love you for loving our son."

  Peace flooded her soul.

  Engrossed in their thoughts, they returned to the chopper. It quickly rose and turned north towards Penang.

  The pilot's voice gave Jennifer a running commentary on what lay below, but her thoughts still focused on that strange old man and what he had foretold of her future.

  Obviously, Peter was also thinking of his message as he stared ahead with aloofness that Jennifer found hard to combat.

  Bringing them both back to reality, the pilot's voice, crackling in their earphones, changed to one of urgency. "Hang on - lots of water ahead,” he warned.

  The sky had turned an eerie green and water poured from the heavens like a waterfall. Rain lashed the chopper and poured in through the open doorways. Tossed back and forth with its engine screaming, the chopper struggled to keep them aloft as a howling wind and drenching rain combined, trying to bring about their downfall.