by Shuler, Tara
“I can’t, Esla. I won’t.”
Esla sighed and rolled her eyes. It was certainly exciting to be wanted as much as Richard clearly wanted her, but she knew it would be dangerous for him to be around her. The longer he stood there with her, the greater the chances of them being spotted by one of Illyan’s Followers. His life would be in grave danger if that happened.
“Just go home!” she hissed.
“No,” he refused flatly. “Not without you.”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Esla growled. “Fine, I’ll go home with you. Let’s hurry!”
She grabbed him by the elbow and ushered him quickly through the streets. She needed to get him off the streets and into the safety of his house as quickly as possible. The later it got, the more likely it would be that one of the Followers would notice them walking together.
Esla could feel the tension in her shoulders as she anxiously craned her neck around, searching the shadows for signs they were being followed. She sniffed the air, trying to detect the slightest hint that one of them might be lurking nearby. It wasn’t until they were safely inside Richard’s house that she finally breathed a sigh of relief.
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?” she snapped once they were safely inside.
“I don’t care. I can’t be away from you!” he argued.
“Richard, you could have been killed. Every single vampire in this town is probably hunting you! You should never leave your house after dark!”
“I will if you’re not here,” he said flatly. “So you should just stay here. Or better yet, leave town with me.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not? There’s clearly nothing for you here. I can see it every time I look into your eyes.”
Esla was silent, but the glittering mistiness of her emerald eyes spoke a thousand words. It was true. There was nothing left for her there. Illyan would likely never want her around now that she’d gone off on her own. She opened her mouth to speak, but her words were choked back. She blinked her eyes and swallowed hard.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“Esla, come on! Look, I don’t know what’s going on in your life, because you don’t really tell me anything. But I can see you’re not happy! Maybe I can make you happy!”
“Richard, you don’t even know me. We’ve hardly spent any time together. You don’t know what my life is like. I could never bear you any children. I could never go on picnics with you under the summer sun. I could never…”
“Stop!” he interrupted. “I don’t need any of that. And I know we don’t really know each other, yet. But I want to know you. Please just give me the chance.”
“You don’t understand what you’re saying. You don’t know what’s coming. It’s dangerous to be with me. And I can’t just run away with you so you can get to know me.”
“Alright, then don’t run away with me. Just get to know me. And you know, I would know what was going on if you’d tell me.”
“I’m married, Richard,” she said quickly. “I’m married to a man – a vampire – who doesn’t love me, doesn’t want me around, and is only using me to help him wipe humanity off the face of the Earth forever. There, are you happy? Hey, you asked!”
Esla bit her lip so hard she tasted the bitter saltiness of her vampire blood on her tongue. It was all she could do to hold back a torrent of tears. But she’d cried enough over Illyan. She would not do it again.
Richard sat in stony silence. He was motionless and contemplative. Esla wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but she was sure she knew. Now, he would hate her the same way Illyan did. He might even try to drive a stake through her heart, and she thought that was for the best. What did she have to live for?
“If your husband doesn’t love you, then you have no reason to not be with me,” he said after a long moment in thought.
“What?” Esla whispered. “You…”
“Esla, I don’t care if your husband has some anti-human agenda. That has nothing to do with you or me. I just want to get to know you. Please, Esla.”
“I still love him,” she said, her voice barely audible, and her eyes cast downward in shame.
“I see. So you would be loyal even to a man who doesn’t love or want you?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I love him, and I shouldn’t be here.”
She stood up quickly and fled into the night, leaving Richard alone once again.
In the shadows outside the house, Illyan had overheard everything. So she was still faithful to him even now. He almost laughed aloud, but he wasn’t sure if he was so gleeful because his seer wife was still likely to help him win the war, or because he was mocking her for her pathetic human feelings. He assumed it was a bit of both.
She really was a vile waste of life. He’d never met a vampire, even a youngling, who had such extreme emotions. Esla had been turned for ten years. While it might take several more decades to eradicate the last shred of her humanity, her feeble emotional ties should have been severed in the first year or two. It was one of the first things to go for most vampires. That emotion switch was one of the benefits of being one of his kind. He’d never known a vampire who loved another to such an extent. It disgusted him. Such emotions were weakness.
Still, her love made her loyal, and that was a necessity in such dire times. Her loyalty, or lack thereof, could be the key to whether they won or lost the war. Perhaps it really was her humanity that gave her the gift. After all, she was the only vampire he’d ever known who showed such intense love, and she was the only seer his kind had seen in centuries.
He growled quietly in frustration. Why did the entire key to fulfilling The Prophecy have to rest on human emotions? Damn the irony!
Sticking to the shadows, Illyan followed her back into town. He watched as she stalked through the streets, searching for a victim. Finally, she heard the sounds of a scuffle from an alleyway, and she crept silently through the darkness. A man had cornered a young woman on her way home from working a long shift at the hotel, and he was in the middle of committing the revolting act of forcing her to submit to his desires. His hand closed around her throat, choking out the sounds of her pleas for help as the thrust against the poor woman who was splayed across a pile of boxes like a ragdoll.
“Please, stop,” she begged, her voice breaking. “I can’t breathe!”
The vile man chuckled menacingly, enjoying the desperation in her voice. The more she struggled, the more heated his passion became.
“Please!” she implored. “Stop!”
“Can I join the fun?” Esla said in a seductive voice.
The man turned toward Esla. She licked her lip and smile coyly, tempting him into believing she might actually want to join in his wicked misdeed.
“You want to join in, huh?” he asked, panting raggedly. “Come on, baby! What do you want to do?”
Esla inched closed to him, and he continued to thrust himself into the poor young woman as she watched. The fact that he had an audience made him all the more excited. The woman’s eyes were wide with fright.
“Help me,” she whispered, barely able to speak as she struggled to breathe.
Esla stopped beside the woman and ran her hand gently over her bare belly and up to her breast, cupping it in her palm. She had to put on a good show for the pig, after all. She ran her tongue up the woman’s neck, stopping at her ear, and the pig cackled with glee. Esla paused by the woman’s ear.
“Run” Esla whispered into her ear.
Esla grabbed the man by the neck and lifted him several inches off the ground. His legs kicked and flailed, and he clutched futilely at her wrist, trying to free himself from her iron grasp.
The young woman backed away, trying to gather her clothing and cover herself. Her eyes were still wide, and her lower lip trembled.
“Go!” Esla hissed at her, and the poor woman fled in terror.
Esla turned her eyes menacingly toward the man, whose face was turning purple. His eyes bu
gged out, and he made a strange gurgling sound as drool pulled in his throat.
“What’s wrong? Not having fun, anymore?” Esla mocked him. “Pity. I thought we were having such a good time.”
“Please…” he begged, his eyes full of fear.
“Huh? What was that? Oh, was that you begging like that poor woman? Doesn’t feel so good, does it?” Esla spat.
“I’m sorry,” he choked, his wild trashing beginning to slow as he slipped closer to unconsciousness.
“That you are,” Esla growled. “I think we should put the world out of its misery.”
Esla tossed the man over the same boxes the woman had laid upon just moments earlier, still clutching his throat. She leaned over him and glared directly into his eyes.
“You will never hurt another woman,” Esla promised him, and she heard the crunch of flesh as her fangs ripped through his neck and pierced his carotid artery.
The man struggled briefly, and finally he slipped into darkness. Esla continued to drain his limp body until she felt his pulse subside. She heard his terrified heart stop beating, and she grinned wickedly with satisfaction, wiping blood away from her lips with the sleeve of her dress.
“Well done,” she heard a voice behind her say.
Esla spun around to see Illyan step from the shadows into a stream of moonlight. Her heart fluttered wildly, and she held her breath.
“Illyan,” she whispered.
“Where have you been?” he demanded, acting as though he didn’t know.
“Away from you!” she spat defiantly.
“Now, now,” he said. “Settle down.”
“Leave me alone, Illyan. I’m tired of being unappreciated.”
“You are not unappreciated. I want you to come home.”
“Forget it, Illyan. I’m not a pawn in your little game to rule the world. I’m your wife! I won’t come back and continue to let you use me.”
“That’s right, Esla. You are my wife. And I want you to come home.”
“As your wife, or as your seer?” she demanded to know, though she already knew the answer.
“As both,” he said gently, stepping forward and extending his hand.
Esla eyed his hand suspiciously, but she did not take it. She’d fallen for his tricks too many times. She knew he didn’t love her, and he never would.
“You must think I’m an idiot,” she snarled. “I’ll never be your wife. I’ll never be anything to you but the little seer you need to win your war. Well, forget it, Illyan. I’m done being your puppet, and you can find another way to destroy humanity!”
In a flash, Esla flew by Illyan and disappeared from the alley. He tried to run after her, but by the time he reached the street, she was gone.
“Damn it!” he cursed, kicking a nearby trashcan with such force it flew into the street and scattered litter across the road.
Illyan made his way back to the burned-out remains of Abe Alver’s house and peered through the window, but Esla was not inside. He made a trip out to Richard’s farm, but she was not there. The sun would be coming up soon, and he needed to feed before it was too late.
He headed back to town and struck he first person he came across – an old man whose only mistake was taking the trash out too late at night. Illyan despised the blood of the elderly. It was weak and tasteless. But the sun was already starting to paint the morning sky a pale golden hue, and he tore through the gates of the manor just as it peeked over the trees in the distance.
Chapter Eleven
The warehouse was dark and dusty, but it appeared to be abandoned. Esla yanked the padlocked chain, and it easily tore away from the door, allowing her to slip inside.
The floor was strewn with litter, and rats scurried to hide as soon as they noticed her presence. It wasn’t the lush comfort of The Manor, but at least it would provide shelter from the harsh sunlight.
Fortunately, the windows were so thick with dust they would block much of the sunlight, and the back wall was completely free of windows. One corner in the back was blocked off by a divider, and it would provide even more protection from the sun’s rays. She curled up on the floor behind the divider and soon fell asleep to the sound of rats nesting nearby.
When Esla awoke, the sun was still streaming through the filthy windows. The warehouse was filled with a dreary, dingy haze, and Esla huddled behind the partition, hiding from the sunlight, which had been weakening her more and more in recent weeks. She had nothing to do but sit and think.
She missed Illyan terribly, and she had desperately wanted to believe him when he told her it was both as his seer and his wife that he wanted her to return with him to The Manor. Alas, history had proven this would never be, and she found little solace in her fantasy.
Richard, on the other hand, truly seemed to want to be with her. He had stayed in town, despite her dire warning that he should leave, simply because he wanted to know her. His profound need to be near her put his very life in danger, yet he could not force himself to leave. Esla knew she should be delighted to have someone so interested in her, but she was unable to care as deeply as she knew she should. Illyan had taken everything else from her, and now her love for him was blocking her ability to give Richard a chance – and to give herself a chance at real love. As much as she wanted to be loved, and to experience the closeness and intimacy of a physical relationship, she could not bring herself to betray her husband. Despite his flaws, she loved him endlessly.
She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on one and sighing deeply. She was lonely, bored, and a little frightened. She had no idea where her life was headed, nor what she should do. Perhaps she should just run away with Richard – try to leave behind the pain and misery. Or maybe she should go back to Illyan and do her best to be a good wife to him, despite the fact that she was nothing more than a means to an and for him. Neither choice seemed particularly inviting.
She was cold, dirty, and exhausted. Sleeping on the hard floor was uncomfortable, and she hadn’t had a bath or changed clothes in days. Her hair was matted from a night of tossing and turning, and her skin felt dusty and itchy. She was miserable.
For hours, she sat and waited. Finally, the shadows in the warehouse grew longer, and a burst of intense orange light flooded the massive empty space, signaling the end of another day. As soon as the orange faded away, Esla peeked out into the street and slipped out the door.
She had two options if she wanted to be clean. She could go back to The Manor and give into Illyan, or she could seek pity from Richard. She was certain he would be willing to allow her to bathe and wash her clothes.
She knew she could always influence a human to give her what she wanted, but she always felt guilty using her ability for nefarious purposes. It was enough guilt to use it to cause them to forget they’d been bitten, but to force them to allow her into their homes and to give her clothing or money would be morally reprehensible to her.
She wasn’t ready to face Illyan, so she chose to visit Richard. He was just leaving the house when she showed up on his doorstep. He paused in the doorway and watched her ascend the front steps to the porch.
“Hello, Richard,” she said meekly.
“Esla,” he acknowledged, nodding politely.
“I need a favor,” Esla admitted humbly. “I need somewhere to take a bath and wash my clothes.”
“Of course,” Richard said at once. “You know my home is always open to you. You can stay here as long as you like.”
“I’m not asking to stay,” she corrected him. “I only need a place to clean up.”
“So where are you staying?” Richard asked.
“It’s probably best you don’t know.”
“I wouldn’t tell anyone where you are. You know that.”
“I know. But I don’t want you coming to find me. I can’t give you what you want, Richard, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me every day.”
Esla hung her head in sh
ame, and she said, “I know, and I’m sorry.”
“Please, come inside,” he told her, stepping aside. “You look exhausted.”
She nodded, and stepped inside. She took off her cloak and laid it across a chair, and she turned to face Richard, who was closing the door behind him.
“I’m only going to clean up and wash my clothes,” she said. “I’m not staying.”
“I get it,” Richard said flatly. “I have some clothes you could wear. I don’t think I have any pants that would fit you, but I have some long shirts you could wear while you wash your clothes.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. Where is the bathroom?”
“It’s right in there,” he said, pointing to a door. Esla turned to walk away, and he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. Looking deep into her eyes, he pleaded, “Stay with me tonight. Just one night. I promise we’ll only talk. I just want to get to you know. Please?”
“I can’t, Richard,” she whispered. “Please don’t ask that of me.”
“What’s wrong with talking? What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of anything!” she shouted, wrenching her arm from his grasp. “I’m just not prepared to put either of us in such a precarious position!”
“How is it precarious if you don’t feel anything for me?” he demanded.
“Stop it. Just stop it!” she snapped. “You’re reading too much into my words! Stop trying to see something that isn’t there?”
“Fine. I’m sorry,” he muttered. “But how is talking putting either of into a precarious situation?”
“Well, for one thing, I don’t want you to get your hopes up and get hurt. For another thing, my husband is the most powerful vampire in the world. One word from him and you’d be hunted anywhere you went for the rest of your very short life. Just my being here right now is potentially dangerous for you.”
“How would he even know you were here? It’s not like I live right in the middle of town.”