Love Remains

by Zrinka Jelic

  Milo’s small eyebrows arched, he beamed at the opportunity. “Can I open one present, then?”

  “Nice try, kiddo.” Tom ruffled his hair and lowered the boy.

  Pouting, Milo picked up his teddy bear and plopped in front of the television.

  At Rosie’s cooing, Tom got up and stretched. “Tell you what. Continue examining the boxes and try to guess what each one is. Mommy should be here any minute. Then I’ll order us a nice, big breakfast and we’ll open the presents.”

  Milo’s face lit up, he dropped his stuffy toy and flew to the piled wrapped boxes.

  The door to their suite swung open. Olivia rushed in. The rubber soles of her boots squeaked on the tile floor as she halted by the entrance. Relief washed away fear on her face, her shoulders relaxed.

  “Mommy’s here,” Milo announced, shaking a box and making the contents rattle. But his head turned as she made a beeline for Tom. “Mommy?”

  “Oh! Thank God,” she gasped, rushing to Tom she wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her body on his. The coldness still clung to her coat, seeped through his shirt.

  He embraced her, rocking from side to side. “I missed you, too.” His glance travelled to the suit’s door, left wide open. His wife trembled and tightened her hold. Could something have happened to Tadem? “Hey, hey. Honey, what is wrong?”

  “Auntie Tadem.” Milo pointed at the big box as Tadem stepped into sight. “This one’s for you.”

  Her shoulders rose and fell with her fast breathing. “Olivia ran out of the elevator and I couldn’t keep up with her.”

  So, other than out of breath, his sister-in-law was fine.

  “You left Tadem alone in the hallway? She can’t run.” Tom tried to sound casual, but an accusatory tone crept to his voice. “Something happened?”

  Olivia pulled back, her mouth dropped as if she just now remembered her sister. “I held her hand when I shot out of the elevator, but it slipped out.”

  Worry spiraled though him. Olivia’s alabaster face appeared ghostly. He cupped her cheeks. “Were you mugged?”

  “No, God. Nothing like that. I — ” Her chin shook, breath quivered when she opened her mouth as if to say something, but a whimper choked her words.

  Tom pulled her to him, nestled her head under his chin. “You’re safe now. Take a deep breath first.”

  “I can’t bear the thought I’d lose you one day. You and the kids.” On the verge of tears, her quivering voice ripped his heart.

  He hugged her tighter and kissed her head. “Why would you fear that? I’m not going anywhere.” But the guilt pangs of hiding his possible heart attack stung him all over again.

  She pulled back, bit her lip and stared at him. Her brows drew closer. Tears glimmered in her steel eyes. “Just … I saw something … someone … I’m not sure.”

  His guts twisted with her words. Maybe she’d detected his sudden fear. He thought he’d hidden it from her, but he was only fooling himself. They’d always shared a special connection. Guilt stirred deep in him. He hated keeping things from her, but the pain had only lasted for a few seconds. Knowing her, she would worry over something that could be trivial. Soothing circles of his palm on her back eased her breathing. “Everything’s fine, honey.” He placed another kiss to Olivia’s temple and released her from his hold.

  She nodded, wiping her eyes. Doubt crept to his shoulders with her silence.

  Rosie’s cooing grew louder. The baby demanded attention. He welcomed the distraction and stepped into the room. “Come to Daddy.” He picked up Rosie from her cot. Bouncing the baby in his arms, he returned to Olivia while she hung her long coat in the small foyer’s closet. “Chin up, honey, it’s Christmas. Milo can’t wait to open his presents and a great day is ahead of us.”

  A soft smile lit her pretty face, but her stiff shoulders still nagged him. “I shouldn’t have burst in like this.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about. I think changing Rosie would help you take your mind off this. I’ll warm up the bottle for her, but first let me call room service.” Tom handed the baby to Olivia and reached for the phone on the wall. “Or would you rather eat in the restaurant?”

  Slouched over the bed, Olivia glanced over her shoulder without ceasing the diaper duty, a funny frown on her face. “Two kids and Tadem, I don’t think you need to ask.”

  “Room service it is.” He dialed and shoved his free hand deep inside his jean’s pocket to refrain from checking his heartbeat.

  • • •

  They are fine, they are fine. But Tom’s jittery. He kept his hands shoved deep in his pockets and every so often he pressed hard on his chest. In the beam of sunlight casting through the suite’s window, his complexion seemed sallow.

  Olivia settled in the recliner with Rosie eagerly sucking, the warm formula disappearing from the bottle.

  Tom perched himself on the sofa next to her, steam curling from the mug of cocoa in his hand. “Okay.” He turned to Milo and Tadem. “You can open one present each before our food gets here.”

  “Can I open this one?” Milo raised a square in white wrapping with candy canes.

  Her son’s enthusiasm brought a smile to Olivia’s face, but a sting of loss extinguished her kindle of hope. One day she would come home and find an empty house. Not a single trace of her family left. “Is your name on it?”

  Milo examined the tag and nodded. “It’s for me from you and Daddy.”

  “You can open it.” Tom blew on the surface of the dark liquid then set the mug on the stand by her seat. Her mouth watered at the cocoa and milk mixture. “Should be cooled off by now, but be careful.”

  Milo ripped open the wrapping and revealed his first gift of Christmas. “Oh wow, look Mommy.” He shoved a book under her nose.

  “A Dangerous Book for Boys. Nice.” Olivia darted her glance at Tom, raising a questioning eyebrow.

  “Don’t worry, honey. It’s a Canadian edition.” Tom cupped one hand around his mouth and whispered, “It’s pretty tame.”

  Olivia joined Tom in his chuckling. The knot in her chest loosened and she sank deeper into the recliner. Her husband always knew how to lighten any situation and cheer her up. His tender care had long shattered her strong protective walls. She turned to Milo. “Show your gift to Auntie until Rosie’s done eating. Then we’ll open more presents.”

  While Milo and Tadem were absorbed in flipping through the pages, Olivia grabbed the opportunity and turned to Tom, who studied her through his narrowed eyes. “I tried to ask Tadem about her angel, but didn’t get far. All I found out was that she’s around her all the time and that you share the same guardian with her.”

  Tom’s eyebrows twitched and fear crossed his eyes. He straightened. “I’d think there are an infinite number of angels in Heaven. Why would I share one with Tadem?”

  “Tadem stopped talking after she blurted it out.” Olivia studied her sister, trying to find any trace of the angel. If she was with Tadem all the time, that meant she could be here right now. “As a baby, she’d be looking at me, then her glance would snap away and she’d stare into empty space, grinning. I tried to see what grabbed her attention, but never saw a thing.”

  Tom placed his hand on her knee. “Babies often do that. Remember Milo and Rosie smiling at the ceiling? When we looked up there was nothing there.”

  Tom’s question should infuriate her, but his gentle rub on her knee helped dissipate the last bit of Olivia’s fear. “Tadem continued this activity long after her baby days. Should I ask her to show us her angel again? Maybe she can change at will.”

  A mask of fear settled on Tom’s face. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. It would scare the kids.” He leaned closer, propping himself on his elbow. “This upset you? That I share her angel?”

  “Yes, that and … ” Olivia cocked her head. Could she tell him about the bad feeling she’d gotten when she saw that wicked woman getting shoved into the police car? No, they already had lots of inexplicable stuff to dea
l with. The woman seemed to have fallen on bad times after she’d fired her, but Olivia was only doing her job. But that excuse was growing old. Nothing prevented her from showing some compassion. Instead she’d chosen to get on the same wagon with Hiltorn and his bullies who treated people like trash.

  “And what?” Tom’s voice drifted to her.

  “Not important.” She sat Rosie upright and patted her back, but his stare implied he wouldn’t let her off that easy.

  “It had to be important.” He glanced at the Milo and Tadem then faced her again and dropped his voice to a whisper. “I’ve never seen you shaken like that.”

  Guilty shame rushed heat to her cheeks, but she had to lie to him to get him off her back. “There was an accident. I didn’t recognize the part of the city I ended up in due to heavy traffic. I panicked.”

  His shoulders slumped, he exhaled loudly. Had he bought her story? Not likely, but it seemed he, too, wanted to drop the issue. “I asked Milo about the angel, too.” A reluctant tone laced Tom’s voice. He might’ve pushed the boy for answers. “Didn’t get far. Last night was the first time he saw her, though Tadem told him about her. He said the angel mumbled something about our kids will be born. None of it made any sense.”

  Olivia shook her head. The angel had mentioned she was in the future, though the year stayed the same. Maybe the entity had sent her ahead but couldn’t actually shift the time. Desperation overwhelmed her, but she swallowed the rising lump. She wouldn’t be able to take much more of this mystery. “The knot gets worse the more we try to untangle the mess. I feel there’s nothing we can do here but play along.”

  “You could be right.” With a loud sigh, Tom stood and took the empty bottle from her hand. Then he slid a narrow box wrapped in silver in her palm. “From me.”

  She placed Rosie on her play mat and the baby reached for the hanging toys. Olivia opened the box. Her breath caught at the sight of a princess-cut diamond solitaire pendant hanging from white gold necklace. “It’s … stunning.”

  “It will be once you put it on.” He kissed the top of her head, sending soft tickles to the center of her belly. “Hope this jogs your memory.”

  She pierced him with her questioning stare. He crossed his arms over his chest, one hand massaging his left side. “The words you cannot seem to remember each time we start to make love.”

  “So diamonds should help me remember? Well, I always said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” She curled her lip, trying to remember an old movie she’d seen long ago.

  “Yes.” A hopeful expression filled his features and voice. She may be onto something.

  She pondered the saying while he nodded, expecting her to blurt out the word or words. So the secret to his sweet loving wasn’t a simple “I love you” as she had thought. Girl’s best friend, best friend. Damn it, what could it be? She glanced at the diamond, as light danced in its cuts, casting shapes on her palm. The answer flashed in her mind. “Dazzle me,” she whispered, hypnotized by the beauty of the stone.

  At Tom’s soft gasp, she snapped her head, meeting his beaming face. “You remembered.” He pulled her to his chest and seared her lips with his. The friction of his stubble on her skin and the whisk of his tongue on hers coaxed a moan from her. “Tonight you’ll get dazzled out of your wits,” he murmured against her cheek, his soft voice and breath carried a certain promise, sending trickles of desire to her core.

  • • •

  Christmas wrappings, ribbons, and bows covered the hotel’s suite floor and hung from the chairs. Dirty dishes covered the table. Olivia tucked her hand under her legs suppressing the itch to tidy the room up. Just a month ago, she would have expected maid service to do the job, and the thought to clean up would never cross her mind.

  Enya’s “Silent Night” came from the speakers of Tom’s laptop, filling Olivia’s chest with the warm, fuzzy feeling of the season. Christmas with her family, the way she’d heard people around the water cooler describe year after year. She much preferred this over playing catch up with her paperwork while the cleaning crew paid her no heed. If only Tom would stop checking his email.

  He rubbed his palms. “So, all presents unwrapped? My hands are so chaffed from prying the toys out of the packaging. I don’t think I can open another one.”

  “Yes, Daddy. I checked it twice. No Rosie, the dolly is the present not the box.” Milo’s attempts to engage Rosie with her new toy were unsuccessful.

  “Alright. It’s a nice day, how about a walk?” Tom turned to Olivia. “We should get out so the maids can tidy up the suite.”

  “Yes, by all means.” She stood up. Now would be a great time to present him with her gift. Though the anticipation had been brewing in her for weeks, a sudden bout of nervousness stirred her. What if he didn’t like it? “Not all the presents have been opened.” She reached behind the tree, pulled out a small box from its hiding place and handed it to him. “This one is from me.”

  “Thank you, honey.” He beamed, ripping the golden paper. His jaw dropped at the sight of the vibrant tile inlaid into the lid of the ebony box. “This is Glagolitic.” He traced his thumb over the intricate, white letter on the red background.

  “Neoglagolitic actually.” A smile stretched her lips, and pride filled her. She knew she would stun him with her gift. “The closest thing I could find. Open it, there’s more inside.”

  He popped the lid open and stared in silence for a few moments, then picked the item in his fingers, examining the golden tie clip from every side. “I love it. How did you know?”

  “Just a hunch. Since I saw your tie, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” But it was the constant, burning desire for him that had started her creativity. In the past, she certainly had not put any effort into buying presents. Nor had she ever given or received any. But now with her family, she’d spent hours scouring the malls and fighting the crowds in search for that perfect gift. Milo already couldn’t put his action figures down, Rosie’s booties fit her perfectly and would go nicely with her new winter coat, and Tadem loved her sweatshirt and matching pants.

  “This deserves extra dazzling tonight. Hope you’re up to it.” His slow wink rushed heat to her face. What was wrong with her? She never blushed at a man’s advances.

  “You have no idea just how up to it I am.” She rubbed her neck to ease her pent up passion. A walk in the cold air would help. “Let’s go.”

  Though Milo complained about leaving the pile of his new toys, he got dressed for outdoors and settled for a small action figure to take along.

  Tom pushed Rosie’s stroller to the play area.

  “Watch me slide.” Milo ran to the climber on the hotel’s ground, and scrambled up the ladder to the top of the slide. Tadem plopped herself on the bench. Her residential center must put very little effort in engaging the residents in physical activities. Olivia would make sure to have her sister get into some type of fitness activity.

  Tom stopped and ogled monkey bars. Olivia’s eyebrows arched when he grabbed the bars and preformed chin ups. Was he training for tonight’s promised marathon, or reliving his childhood?

  “Good,” he said, jumping down. “Twenty reps and still not out of breath.” He pointed at the stairs leading out of the play area. “I’m going to run up those steps.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at the two flights of steep steps then back at him. “I know the meal was heavy, but you didn’t eat that much.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll be ready for tonight if I can run up a flight of steps.” He tapped her arm and took off.

  “Run up a flight of steps” — hadn’t she read an article about this just the other day? Didn’t doctors advise their patients who’d suffered a heart attack that if they were able to run the up the stairs without getting winded, they’d be ready to have sex?

  “Oh my god.” She lowered to the bench, her legs suddenly wobbly.

  Tom ran up to her. A peculiar grin on his face suggested he wanted to take her right there and now.
“Running up those steps warmed me up.” He grabbed her wrists, pulling her up. “Come on. You should try it.”

  “No, Tom.” She managed to whisper through her tight throat, “Did you experience chest pains?”

  His grin vanished and he lowered on the bench. “No.”

  But the tremble in his voice failed to convince her. The anticipation of tonight’s dazzling abandoned her. “Please, tell me.”

  His exhale came out long and loud, and a reluctant, lopsided grin formed his mouth. “When the angel showed up, a debilitating pain in my chest, like I’ve never experienced before, sent me to my knees. From all I’ve heard about heart attacks, I’d say it felt like I was experiencing one.” At her gasp and stern gaze, he straightened and put his hands up. “I’m fine, really I am. The pain hasn’t returned and it only lasted for a few seconds.”

  Tears she could no longer control filled her eyes and blurred her vision. She couldn’t take this anymore. She wanted answers, but things were getting more complicated. Tom didn’t want her to worry, that was why he lied, but a lie by omission was still a lie. The angel had said he was fighting for his life, maybe he just didn’t know it yet. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I don’t feel anything.” This time his voice didn’t falter and a reassurance relaxed her, but tears still kept coming.

  He removed his glove and wiped her tears. “I screwed up, I know. I should’ve told you.”

  Damn it, she should stop this water works display, if not for Tom then for Milo. Her son wouldn’t like to see his mom this upset. She drew in a long breath. “Pent up frustration, I needed to vent it out. But, if we’re going to find answers, we must work together. No more withholding.”

  He squeezed her hand and nodded. “In that case, you should come clean, too.”