Spin the Bottle

by Monica McInerney

  Lainey glanced at the folder in his hand, still feeling mortified. ‘Oh, great, thanks. And, um, can I offer you a cup of tea?’

  ‘If you’re sure I’m not interrupting…’

  ‘Of course not. Come into the kitchen.’ She let him go first, noticing he knew his way around. Of course he did, if he had visited May here in recent months. Walking beside him, she saw again how the years had changed him. As a teenager, Rohan had been thin. Now he was tall, quite broad too, she noticed. Attractive. Without bidding, Eva’s words came into her mind. That she was here to meet Mr Cholera. And that perhaps he was Rohan Hartigan.

  Putting on the kettle, she looked over her shoulder. ‘How do you have it, Rohan?’

  ‘I don’t want tea, I want you,’ he said huskily. He cupped her face in his hand, staring deep into her eyes…

  Lainey blinked, sure the colour was rising in her face. Where in God’s name had that thought come from?

  ‘White with one thanks, Lainey.’ He looked around the room. ‘You’ve been busy.’

  ‘It needed the work, really. It was fairly run-down.’

  Rohan nodded. ‘Your aunt lost interest in it as the years went by. It was hard for an old woman to manage on her own, I think.’

  Lainey felt a spark of guilt. ‘Because we weren’t around – is that what you mean? Rohan, if we’d stayed in Ireland we wouldn’t necessarily have all lived in Meath, dropped in to see her every morning to help her make the beds.’ She was stung by the suggestion that her father and her family had abandoned May.

  ‘I didn’t mean that at all, actually,’ he said mildly. ‘I meant she was in her seventies. The stairs were getting a bit much for her, so she was hardly going to start climbing ladders and wallpapering.’

  ‘Oh, I see what you mean.’ She’d obviously taken an overdose of her paranoia pills today.

  ‘She was lonely, though, Lainey. She missed you all, I know that. She often mentioned you.’

  ‘Did she?’ Lainey was surprised to hear that.

  He nodded. ‘She had some great stories to tell about Tara, too. She had some great stories about all sorts of things.’

  ‘She didn’t happen to tell you why she named the B&B Green Gables, did she? The gables being red and all?’

  He laughed. ‘I wondered if you’d notice that. She’d actually planned to call it after one of Tara’s earlier names, Druim Cain. You know, the Irish for Beautiful Hill.’

  Lainey nodded as if to say of course she’d known that.

  ‘She ordered it from the sign-makers in town, with some very specific instructions about the design and the lettering and the size, from what I could gather. But she got very impatient with them, kept ringing them to hurry them along. And you know human nature, the more you push someone, the more they resist. So apparently she had enough one day, stormed in there, said she wasn’t waiting for her sign any longer and just grabbed the first sign on the counter.’

  ‘Don’t tell me, which happened to say –’

  He grinned. ‘Exactly. Green Gables. You have to laugh, don’t you? I think she thought it was quite funny herself, once she calmed down. Even funnier, once she’d actually hung up the sign.’

  Lainey didn’t remember her father saying that May had possessed a good sense of humour. She passed Rohan his tea, and offered him a chair at the kitchen table. She was about to ask him what he had been up to for the past fifteen years when he got in first with a question.

  ‘So have you big plans for this place? Beyond the redecorating, I mean.’

  She sat down opposite him. ‘Well, the first thing is to let people know I’m back in business. I’m going to join every tourist association in Ireland I can, take out all the ads I can, walk the streets of Dublin shouting the name of the B&B if necessary.’ She realised it felt good to be having a conversation with someone other than Eva for a change. She really had been suffering from spoken word shortage.

  ‘You can’t just rely on passing traffic like May did?’

  Lainey decided not to go into that at the moment. ‘I guess I don’t want to leave it to chance.’

  He shook his head. ‘The world can’t live without advertising any more, can it? It gets you from the moment you wake up until the moment you sleep. Buy this, do this, stay here, eat this, wear this. Don’t you ever get sick of other people telling you what to do?’

  ‘They don’t try very often,’ she said with a quick grin.

  ‘But they do it all the time without you realising, Lainey. In subtle ways.’

  ‘Well, I can’t complain about that. I do those types of things in my real job.’ In my real life.

  ‘You work in advertising?’

  He made it sound as though she worked in an anthrax laboratory. ‘Well, no, not advertising specifically. But I do event management and product launches. You know, a different sort of advertising, getting attention for things in other ways.’

  ‘Don’t you get tired of it? Spending every day trying to influence people, brainwash them?’

  She kept her voice low and calm. After Declan’s attacks over the years she was well used to defending her job. ‘No, I don’t think it’s brainwashing actually. It’s all free choice at the end of the day. And you have to eat and wear clothes. You may as well be well-informed about your choices.’ He still looked sceptical. She smiled. ‘What are you longing for, Rohan? Days back on the Hill of Tara when you men just grew your beards, didn’t have to worry about what brand of shaver you used? Just got up in the morning, popped on your cloak and you were dressed? Bit the head off a deer and that was breakfast done?’

  He smiled then. She was pleased to see his sense of humour had survived adolescence. ‘No, I don’t want to go back that far. But I remember thinking it was really good when I first went to Germany and I didn’t know the language. There was something peaceful about it, being able to walk around and not understand the billboards and the radio ads and newspaper ads. I made the choices I wanted to make, without any outside influences.’

  ‘You lived in Germany?’ It was the first piece of personal information she’d had from him.

  He nodded. ‘I still do. I’ve been there ten years. I’m just back here temporarily.’

  ‘So you’re a fluent German speaker now?’

  ‘I am, yes.’

  ‘And are you married to a lovely German Frau? Haben Sie Kinder?’

  ‘You speak German too?’

  ‘No, don’t be impressed. Mine is basic, language-tape German.’

  ‘Mine was for years, too. But no, I’m not married, to my mother’s shame. But I have a… what’s the word? I’m too old to say girlfriend and the word partner’s just as bad…’

  ‘A special friend, you mean? Eine spezielle Freundin?’

  He smiled at her terrible German. ‘A special friend, yes. I have a special friend. Her name’s Sabine.’

  Lainey had a million other questions. Why is Sabine there and you’re here? She had to pinch the back of her hand to stop herself. He got in first again anyway.

  ‘And are you married, Lainey? Have you left a tribe of children and a shearer back in Australia?’

  ‘No children, no. And no shearer.’ And that was enough personal information from her for the time being, she decided.

  The KC and the Sunshine Band tape clicked as it reached the end, making her jump. She leapt at the change in mood, picking up the folder of papers on the table. ‘Well, thanks for dropping these off, Rohan. Much appreciated.’

  ‘No problem at all. Just call if you need any more information. We could meet for a pint or something. It’d be good to catch up properly.’

  ‘Yes, it would.’

  With the music playing loudly again once he’d gone, she went back to her cleaning, thinking of him as she worked, cringing again that he’d caught her flipping her legs about like some demented whirling dervish.

  Funny that he should turn up like that the day after she and Eva had been talking about him as a possible love candidate, Lainey thought.
Mind you, if the love fates had been at work her Mr Cholera would hardly have caught her making a fool of herself, wearing her paint-splattered pyjamas, would he? He would have rung the doorbell for a start, and she would have been much more prepared. As she cleaned, she pictured the scene clearly in her mind…

  The doorbell rang. She checked her appearance in the hall mirror, smoothing her long red dress, before she opened the door. She couldn’t explain why, but something that morning had made her dress up far more than she normally did around the house. She’d carefully applied her make-up as well, knowing her eyes looked smoky and alluring, her lips full and welcoming. She opened the door.

  Standing there was Rohan Hartigan, wearing a full dinner suit.

  ‘Rohan, hello.’ Her voice came out huskier than normal.

  ‘Hello, Lainey.’

  She noticed his dark eyes, the windswept curls. She had a sudden longing to run her fingers through them…

  She stopped there, laughing out loud at her own thoughts. Why wasn’t real life ever like that? It really would be so much simpler.

  She finished scrubbing the final cupboard and stood up with a groan, clutching her lower back. A body obviously had housework muscles that were quite distinct from living-a-normal-life muscles. Passing the phone, she debated whether to call Eva, fill her in on the latest about Rohan. Then she decided against it. Eva would probably decide that his sudden arrival was meant to be, that the scar on his arm was some kind of mystical brand linking Lainey and Rohan through the years. No, she wouldn’t tell her after all.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  HER YOUNGEST BROTHER answered the phone the next time she rang home. ‘Hugh? What are you doing there?’

  ‘Call me old-fashioned, but don’t most people start a phone call with hello?’

  ‘Sorry, Hughie. Hello, hello, hello. Now I’m in credit for next time. But what are you doing there?’

  ‘I live here.’

  ‘When it suits you.’

  ‘Well, it suits me at the moment. How are things over there, Lainey? That reward-calendar is up on the wall, I hope?’

  She softened at the thought of it. ‘It sure is, Hughie, thanks. How are things there? You all up and about already?’

  ‘We’ve been up for hours. Ma’s gone out for the day with Mrs Douglas. She said she needed a break or she was going to crack up. Dad’s in bed, you’ll be surprised to hear.’ He lowered his voice. ‘He’s been bad lately, hardly out of his room.’

  ‘Is it physical or mental?’

  ‘Mental. Completely mental. The insurance company are at it again. They’ve delayed it, said the person in charge of Dad’s case is on sick leave.’

  ‘Sick leave? What, a headache? A sore toe? God, Hugh, if I was there I would –’

  ‘Want to do what we all want to do. You’re not the only one upset about all this, Lainey.’

  ‘Well, can’t we do something? Report them to the ombudsman, or the insurance council or something?’

  ‘Dad’s solicitor checked it all out. They would just argue that it is going through due process, or whatever the term is, and we have to be patient. A friend of Dad’s called around the other night, said he knew of two other people who’d had exactly the same trouble with this insurance company, had been through months and months of delays like this. And every time they queried it, there’d be another delay.’

  ‘You really are up-to-date with this, aren’t you?’

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be? I worry about Dad as much as you do. I just don’t go on about it as much.’

  ‘Sorry, I know you do. I’m just raging because I’m so far away and I can’t do anything.’

  ‘Then maybe one of us will have to step in. Can’t have you taking all the credit all the time.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Don’t worry about it, Lainey.’

  There was an awkward pause. ‘So, any other news?’ ‘I had a drink with Adam the other night.’ ‘You what?’

  ‘I ran into him on my way to the cinema up the road from his place and he invited me for a beer after he finished work that night. So we met up, had a bit of a chat, man-to-man. He had lots of questions about you, actually. To be honest, I was a bit surprised he didn’t know anything until he explained that you’d dumped him the morning you left.’

  ‘I didn’t dump him.’

  ‘Well, that’s what it sounded like. Are you mad, Lainey? He’s a great bloke and now you’ve really hurt him.’

  ‘What do you mean? What did he say?’

  ‘It wasn’t what he said, it was the way he was. He just seemed really low. You know that’s really bad karma, don’t you, to hurt another human being like that? You’ll come back in your next life as a slug or something now and you won’t last a day. You’ll be out in the garden and before you know it someone will be pouring salt on your back and you’ll die a slow, agonising death.’

  ‘Hugh, stop that. I will not turn into a slug.’

  ‘You might. So why did you dump him, then?’

  ‘For the second time, I didn’t dump him. And it’s all very complicated and more to the point it really isn’t –’

  ‘Any of my business. Why is nothing ever my business? Next time I’m coming back as the oldest kid in a family and I am going to tell my younger brothers and sisters everything, whether they want to hear it or not.’

  Lainey swallowed her pride temporarily. ‘And how is he, Hugh?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘You know who I mean.’

  ‘Apart from being obviously heartbroken?’

  ‘Hugh, please.’

  ‘Well, he’s tall, funny, very decent to me, unlike my older brothers or any of your past boyfriends…’

  ‘But how is he?’

  ‘He was asking me the same question about you, actually. For two people who have split up you seem very curious about one another. That’s odd, isn’t it? I mean, not that I know much about relationships, being the youngest and all…’

  ‘Hughie…’

  He gave in, too kind-hearted to torment her any more. ‘He’s okay. Really busy, he said, opening more hours or something. Distracting himself with work, if you ask me. So, do you want me to give him a message from you?’

  She wavered. No. What was the point? It didn’t change anything. They were still going to be apart for a year. ‘I’ll need to think about it.’

  ‘You’re like Ma. You always say that when you really mean no. Okay, I’ll tell him no, you didn’t have a message for him.’

  ‘But wait, can you tell him…’ Tell him what?

  Hugh was waiting. ‘Yes?’

  ‘No, don’t worry, Hugh. No message.’

  ‘Okay, on your head be it. By the way, that friend of yours was at the restaurant, too. You know, Kim, the one who wears the low-cut tops. The one you always tell me not to stare at.’

  ‘Kim? Kim was at Adam’s? Are you sure?’

  ‘Sure I’m sure. I never forget a cleavage like that. Declan and I used to love it when she’d come and visit you. All our sex education lessons packed into one body.’

  ‘Don’t be vulgar. What was she doing there?’

  ‘I didn’t ask her, but she was sitting at a table with a knife and fork in front of her and it is a restaurant, so my hunch is she was having dinner.’

  ‘In a big group?’

  ‘No, with two women. Why, has she been banned from going out on her own?’

  ‘But why was she there again? Why doesn’t she go somewhere else? Was Adam talking to her?’

  ‘Lainey, listen to you. What do you care? You dumped him, didn’t you? He can run off with all the Kims in Melbourne if he wants to.’

  No, he can’t. Lainey was shocked at her reaction to the news. ‘Did anything happen between them?’

  ‘I think she ate the food he cooked. I can’t tell you what happened after dinner but I’m assuming it went down the usual digestive path.’

  ‘That’s it. Next time Declan and Brendan start bullying y
ou, I’m going to join in. My days of rescuing you are over.’

  ‘I didn’t see anything, I promise,’ he said, laughing. ‘I just called in for a beer like I said. Do you need to know exactly where we went and what he was wearing? Or if any other women walked past his line of sight?’

  ‘You’ve become very cruel since I’ve left, Hugh. I’m disappointed in you.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Lainey. I promise I’ve told you all I noticed. And I promise to keep a very close eye on him from now on.’

  ‘Don’t you say a word to him about this. I was just curious, that’s all.’

  ‘Of course that’s all it was. And you’d better go or you’ll eat up all our inheritance with phone bills.’

  She said goodbye and hung up, then stood looking at the phone, unsettled. She was tempted to pick it up again and call Adam, then and there. Tempted to hear his voice. Very tempted to hear exactly what had happened with Kim. Tempted just to talk to him about anything, in fact.

  Before she left Melbourne, she’d have sworn that she and Adam hardly had time to talk to each other. But since she’d been away from him, she’d realised that they did actually talk a lot – little snatched phone calls throughout the day, a quick call from the restaurant in between sittings, messages left on each other’s answering machines. She’d occasionally been out with clients or at some formal dinner and had received a text message on her mobile from him – a quick remark, a joke, once or twice an outrageously sexy message knowing she was among clients and would have to keep a straight face. She’d talked to him about her father a lot. And her mother, and her brothers. And Celia. And she knew about his family too, about his plans for the restaurant, his staffing hassles, the difficulties with his suppliers, the menus he wanted to try…

  She twisted the bracelet round and round, feeling jealous, lonely and very far from home.

  As Lainey vacuumed the rooms several days later, collecting nonexistent dust left by her nonexistent guests, she made a decision about the B&B. The idea had come to her during the night, while she’d lain there unable to sleep. She’d forced herself to think of work, keeping her mind away from unsettling thoughts about Adam. Instead, she’d run through campaigns she’d worked on at Complete Event Management, sifting through them, trying to find ideas that she could use for the B&B. One in particular had come to her, a promotional campaign she’d worked on for a new brand of chocolate milk. Sales had been terrible until the manufacturer had changed its name – not the packaging, not the milk inside, only the name, after which sales had taken off. Maybe the same approach would work on something bigger than milk…