Return to Me (Storm Lords)

by Nina Croft

  Torr wouldn’t tell her what was going on, though he had opened up a little more last night. Maybe she should go see what else she could find out.

  She found Phoebe in the kitchen.

  After pouring herself a coffee, she sat down opposite. “Did you know that there are real live werewolves?” She was quite proud of it as a conversational opener.

  Phoebe grinned. “No, there aren’t. Wolf shape-shifters exist, but werewolves don’t.”

  Huh. Phoebe was obviously toeing the company line. At least she was talking. “So what other sorts of shape-shifters are there?”

  Phoebe opened her mouth to answer when a scream tore through the house.

  Bella leapt to her feet, knocking over her coffee.

  “It’s only Bryce,” Phoebe said. “Cade will look after him.”

  The scream came again. Inhuman, like an animal in agony. The cry called to something inside her. She felt his pain. His loss. And the need to help him, to take away his pain, built up inside her.

  She pushed her chair back and headed to the door. Phoebe rose to her feet. As Bella passed, she put a hand on her arm.

  “No, Bella. Torr said specifically that we weren’t to let you near Bryce. He’s coming down off the drugs they gave him and he’s not safe.”

  The cry came again, quieter now, full of an acceptance that was harder to bear than the pain. Bella shook off the arm. “Torr doesn’t tell me what to do.”

  She hurried out of the room and up the staircase to the first floor, following her instincts. She came to a halt outside a wooden door. Pushing it open, she peered inside.

  A man lay on a huge bed in the center of the room. Cade stood with his back to her staring out of the window, tension radiating from every locked muscle in his body. He swung around as she entered.

  “Bella, get the hell out of here.” His tone was harsh, but Bella could hear the pain beneath the words.

  Ignoring him, she hurried over to the bed.

  “Bella, don’t,” he said, as she sank down onto the bed beside Bryce. His eyes were closed and she studied him. A sheet was pulled up to his waist, but his chest had been left bare. His wounds had been cleaned, and they were healing far faster than she would have imagined. Last night, he’d looked close to death. Now the cuts were red scars crisscrossing his broad torso. Otherwise, his skin was dark as though he’d spent a lot of time in the sun. His black hair looked as though it had once been cut short but hadn’t been tended to in a long time. It fell over his forehead and framed a face of almost inhuman beauty, with flawless bone structure and full sensual lips.

  He threw back his head and cried out again.

  “Shh.” Reaching out a trembling hand, Bella placed her fingers against his cheek. His skin was hot to the touch, and he went immobile. His eyes shot open. They were the clear blue of the summer sky, and filled with more pain than she had ever encountered before.

  Cade came up beside her, but she ignored his presence, concentrating on the man who stared up at her. She cupped his cheek in her hand. “What is it? Tell me.”

  For a moment, he turned away. When he looked back, his gaze was tortured. “She’s lost to me.”

  “Who?”

  “Cara. In the dreams, I’d forgotten. I thought she was with me.”

  A hand touched her shoulder. She jumped and glanced behind her impatiently.

  “Leave him, Bella. You can’t help him.”

  At his words, she paused. Deep down inside her something stirred. Cade was wrong. She could help him. She didn’t know how she knew that, but she did. Some memory teased at the back of her mind. She’d been six. She’d come upon her mother weeping, and knelt down beside her. Touched her, as she was touching Bryce now.

  “I can take your pain away,” she’d said.

  Her mother had backhanded her and she flew across the floor, banging her head on the kitchen cabinets so hard she had seen stars. Her mother had stood over her. “Freak.”

  Since then, she had never tried to help anyone again, had shied away when she felt their pain and need. Eventually, she’d closed herself off, walled up her true self, and become this empty useless shell.

  She shook off Cade’s hand, and dropped her own from Bryce. But she didn’t rise. Instead, she sat and studied him; saw the pain in his eyes. Guilt stabbed her in the chest. She had been given a gift and she had been too scared to use it. Too scared of hurting herself. Shame scalded through her.

  She closed her eyes and saw the wall, damaged but still strong. Anger built up inside her. At her mother. At herself. Furious at the coward she had become, she slammed into the wall, inside her mind, with all her might. At first, it merely shuddered beneath the onslaught. Then cracks appeared, running down the ochre stone from top to bottom. She balled her hands into fists at her side and hurled every bit of her strength against the barricade. The first rock crashed to the ground, and a wave of exultation washed through her. After that, they fell fast, filling her head with the roar as the huge stones hit the ground, disintegrating into dust until all she could see was a dull red haze.

  Finally, the wall was no more.

  Her body trembled from the effort. Slowly she uncurled her fingers and battled to bring herself under control. She waited for the dust to clear, but she knew the wall was completely destroyed, and fear filled her mind.

  “Bella?”

  Cade spoke softly from behind her, but she shook her head. She breathed slowly, counting her heartbeats until she was sure she could control her fear. Finally, the red ochre haze settled and her mind was clear. Her defenses were gone as though they had never existed.

  She reached out tentatively with her mind and slammed straight into a barrier of pain. For a moment, she fought the feeling, denying it, but instinct told her she must relax, accept. She ceased fighting and though she felt the pain, it no longer controlled her.

  Opening her eyes, she held out her hands. The man on the bed watched her, brows drawn together, but he took her hands in his huge ones. A wave of agony washed over him, and his fists tightened around her hands, so hard she thought her fingers would snap. “Bryce, let go of the pain,” she urged.

  He shook his head as though he didn’t comprehend what was needed, and she leaned over him, held his blue gaze, with her own.

  “It’s all right,” she murmured. “I can take it. Let it go.”

  Understanding flooded his eyes. He blinked once, and then his gaze locked with hers. His pain flowed through her. For a moment, she thought it might overwhelm her, suck her under, then she relaxed and her mind absorbed the hurt, transforming it.

  This was what she was meant to do. What she had been born to do. How could she have denied it for so long?

  Bryce released his grip on her hands, the lines of pain gone from his face. Sadness still lurked in his eyes, but she knew he would survive; the insanity was banished.

  He touched her cheek. “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure,” she murmured and smiled. “You should sleep now.”

  She waited as he settled back on the pillows and then rose to her feet. A wave of blackness washed over her. She swayed, sensed Cade reach out to her as the darkness engulfed her.

  Chapter 15

  She wanted him.

  Torr had almost turned the car around and gone straight back to her.

  A wild exultation rose up inside him. He’d known she was attracted to him, had sensed her need, but having her actually admit it to him was a major step for her.

  In the end, he’d continued on his mission. This needed doing, and the truth was he blamed himself for the murders that had happened here. He would find those responsible and send them back to the Abyss. Then he could concentrate on Bella. He would take her somewhere. Maybe the beach. He had seen how she had loved the ocean last night. He would take her to a tropical island. A deserted one, with only the two of them and he would make love to her in the warm surf at the edge of the ocean. And she would turn to him, see his love, admit her own, and at last she would re
turn to him.

  For a moment, the fact that Razul had a hold of his soul, cast a shadow on his mind. Two more days until Samhain, and he still had no clue how he was going to get possession of his soul. But right now, getting Bella back was more important.

  It took him most of the day, but finally, the demons were back in the Abyss where they belonged. He’d made sure the local police had not caught on to anything unusual, and now he could relax. At least for a little while and he headed back to the compound.

  “Bella?” He called out her name as though he could conjure her up, impatience gnawing at his insides. She didn’t appear, but Cade and Phoebe did, at the top of the stairs, and he knew instantly that something was wrong.

  “Nothing is wrong.” Cade spoke quickly into the silence.

  “Where’s Bella?”

  “She’s in bed.”

  For a second, he thought maybe she’d gone there to wait for him, but she’d have hardly informed Cade if that were the case.

  He headed up the stairs taking them two at a time, pushing past Cade at the top. They turned and followed him along the hallway, dogging his footsteps.

  “Honestly, Torr, there’s nothing wrong with her,” Phoebe said. “She fainted, but really she’s just exhausted.”

  He turned abruptly. “Fainted? What the hell did she do that made her faint?”

  “She cured him, Torr,” Cade said, his voice filled with wonder. “She cured Bryce.”

  Shock rocked him. “She wasn’t supposed to go anywhere near Bryce.”

  “We couldn’t stop her.”

  He started to walk again then stopped and turned back. “He’s cured? You’re sure?”

  Cade nodded. “He’s sleeping now. But she took his pain. He’s still hurting, but the darkness is locked back inside. He’s going to be okay.”

  She must have broken down the wall. Why had Bryce been able to get through to her, when he had failed? Was she okay?

  “Where is she?”

  “In her room. She’s sleeping, but otherwise, she seems fine.”

  Torr strode along the hall, his thoughts in chaos. What would she see when she looked inside him? His footsteps slowed. What if she saw only the darkness? What if there was nothing else? Christ, his soul was in the hands of a demon. Would that be clear to her? Would she see a great gaping black hole where his very essence should be?

  He ran a hand through his hair, pressing his skull. He was scared. Fucking shit-scared-terrified.

  If this failed, he would lose her. She wanted him, but that wasn’t enough. She had to love him and speak the words. The rules of the Covenant were specific. Lilith had made sure of that. Their defense had been that they stole the Elixir because of love. So now, their redemption depended on the existence of love. If true love really existed, Lilith had stated, it would survive anything: life, death. Bella would look beyond the demonized monster he had become and see beneath to the angel she had fallen in love with.

  He’d always had faith. But the last few days had shaken his confidence.

  Bryce had failed and nearly been destroyed. And there would be no Bella to take away Torr’s pain. If he failed then she would die, never to be reborn. And what would remain of him?

  “Torr?” Phoebe’s soft voice broke into his thoughts. He’d come to a halt in the middle of the hallway. “It will be okay,” she said.

  He gritted his teeth, nodded, and forced his feet to move, halting in front of the door to Bella’s room. He tapped on the wood, then pushed it open without waiting for a reply. He could sense Cade and Phoebe were still behind him, but he stepped into the room and closed the door. He needed to be alone with Bella for this.

  She lay in the center of the big bed, still dressed, but with a white sheet pulled up over her. The shutters were drawn, but the early evening sunlight filtered through. In the dim light, she appeared small and fragile, her lashes dark against the paleness of her skin.

  He crossed the room and sank down on the mattress beside her. She didn’t wake up, but rolled onto her side, so her face rested close to his thigh and she murmured something in her sleep. The words were indistinct, but she spoke again clearer this time—his name. She was dreaming of him, and some of his fear melted away.

  He reached out and stroked her short silky hair, the color so vibrant against her white skin. Sitting beside her, touching her, for a brief while, he was filled with peace. He allowed the worries to flow from his mind: his soul, Razul, Lilith. That Samhain was tomorrow evening, and an army of demons was poised to invade the Earth. He closed his own eyes and allowed his mind to void of all the stresses of his life. Peace was an emotion which had eluded him for so long, since he’d lost her the first time, over two thousand years ago. In his mind’s eye, he saw Bella as she had been when he had first caught sight of her. So pure and good that she had put the angels to shame. He had wanted her from that first moment. Sometimes when things had been at their worst, when the pain had been new and raw, he’d wondered if there had been a point when he could have turned back; but in fact, he had been doomed from the start. Until he’d met Soraya, love had been an abstract emotion. She had made it real, and he would never regret that.

  Whatever happened this day, he would always be happy for the years they’d had together.

  He opened his eyes and found her watching him, her own eyes slightly unfocused, and the elusive peace fled as his panic returned. She blinked up at him, and then a smile curved her lips as she came to her senses.

  “Torr.”

  He forced a smile to his own face. “How do you feel?”

  She shook her head. “What happened? I was with Bryce, but I don’t remember…”

  “Apparently you fainted.”

  “Really? How is he? Bryce I mean.”

  “Cade says he’s better. You cured him.”

  “He was in so much pain.”

  “You knocked the wall down?”

  Her gaze flicked away from him, then back. “It’s gone. I didn’t have any choice. Bryce’s feelings were too strong.”

  She pulled herself up so she was sitting against the pillows, darting quick glances at him, as though scared of what she might see. He had to do this. He had to let her into his mind. But he needed to hold her one last time.

  “You said you wanted me. Did you mean it?”

  She licked her lips and heat shot to his groin. Then she nodded and relief poured through him. Reaching out he dragged her from the bed to sit on his lap. He ran his hands over her, feeling her innate strength beneath the fragility. Shifting her so she was sitting astride his lap, facing him, he laced his fingers in the short hair at her nape and pulled her toward him.

  He kissed her as though he might never get another chance. When she had been taken from him the first time, they hadn’t even had the time to say goodbye. Now if everything went to shit, this would be his goodbye.

  He poured all his emotions into that kiss. He couldn’t say the words, but he showed her that he loved her, with his mouth, his body. She opened to him and he filled her. He kissed her as though he’d never let her go.

  Finally, he knew he must. He needed to do this before the resolve left him and he hid himself from her.

  Her hands had come around him, and she clung tenaciously as his mouth left hers. He unpeeled her fingers from his shoulders and put a small distance between them. Her eyes had darkened with desire, her lips swollen from his kisses, her breathing short and sharp.

  She reached out and stroked her finger across his lips, and his skin tingled beneath her touch. “I want you,” she murmured.

  “I need you,” he replied. “But first, I want you to see me.”

  Shock flashed in her face, and she stiffened in his arms. “What do you mean?”

  “Look into my mind, Bella. See who I really I am.”

  She looked away, swallowed, biting down on her lower lip. “I’m scared.”

  “So am I.”

  Her eyes widened at his answer, but her spine stiffened. She reached
out both hands and cupped his face in her palms, her fingers soft against his skin, and heat washed over him. He held his breath as she stared into his face. Her arched brows drew together.

  “You’re locking me out,” she murmured. “You’re so strong, too strong.”

  He released the air from his lungs and forced himself to relax. She seemed to stare at him for an eternity. Inside his mind, he found himself praying. She was all he’d ever wanted. Let her see that.

  The frown smoothed out, and a look of wonder filled her eyes.

  For a brief moment, he allowed himself to hope. Then she went stiff, every muscle locking rigid. Her hands dropped from his face. He didn’t try to hold her as she scooted off his lap onto the bed and then as far as she could from him.

  “Oh God, what are you?” Her voice was filled with revulsion, her eyes pulled wide with whatever horrors she had plucked from his mind.

  Despair returned to swamp him, so it filled his mind, excluding all else.

  He’d failed.

  She had seen him as he really was after all. Maybe love wasn’t strong enough to overcome anything. He had lost his soul long ago, and now his heart was gone. He slowly rose to his feet. Taking one last, long look at her, he told her exactly what he was. “I am a monster.”

  And he turned and walked from the room.

  ***

  The door slammed shut behind him. For endless minutes, Bella stared at the spot where he had disappeared.

  Had she ever seen such defeat? She wanted to get up, run after him, but shock held her locked in place. What had she seen?

  She rolled onto her side and hugged herself into a ball, trying to banish the icy cold that gripped her in a tight fist of fear. Her mind was numb, and she didn’t know how long it was until she started to think clearly again.

  At first, she’d been filled with wonder. His mind was bursting with strong emotions. Honor, loyalty, love. He loved her; she knew it now with a certainty, and despite her shock, the knowledge filled her with happiness. Then the darkness had started to encroach. Such darkness, it had sucked her in, and at its center had been a great gaping void, filled with…nothing. She had hovered on the edge of that vast expanse of emptiness, felt it pull at her, call to her. It wanted to absorb her, make her into nothingness as well, and she’d pulled back in terror.