by Ed Bemand
All it took was the merest hint of a mention of the times that she had spent with her female lover to encourage her husband's interest. She didn't even really have to do anything about it. He just liked to hear her talking about her brief time as a lesbian. She wasn't embarrassed about it and the years hadn't made her lose her affection for the touch of other women.
Over the years the pleasure of monogamy dimmed and Hannah started to crave the touch of someone. She mentioned it to her husband and she was surprised how amenable he was to her finding a female lover. Apparently whereas her craving another man would have made him angry and jealous, that she wanted girls just made him horny. She knew his kinky obsession with lesbianism would come in handy.
She wasn't looking for a replacement for him. She just needed something else as well, something that he couldn't offer, even if he wanted to. It wasn't his fault. How could he be expected to offer her the same pleasures that a pretty girl could?
She had changed since her time with Jen. Now, when she thought about being with a girl, she didn't want somebody strong and lean like Jen had been. She craved somebody soft and pretty. Shy and innocent. She craved firm young breasts and a smooth body. Where once she had been the blushing and naive young girl picked up by an older and more assertive woman now it seemed that she was the predator, hunting for prey in the night.
She wasn't looking for deep love and commitment. She already had that with Peter. She was looking for a pretty girl with a soft sweet pussy that she could taste. Someone she could have fun with. Someone who had the cravings but hadn't yet figured out what to do about them. There wasn't anything bad about that, was there? She wasn't looking to take advantage of anyone. If anything she hoped to help them. To give them something special. Just like Jen had for her.
It was easy finding someone suitable.
It was autumn, the time when the latest crop of students would be struggling to find their feet at the university in the city. She headed for a bar that was close to the campus. She had never been into it before but she knew that it was supposed to be popular with students. It was noisy and lively but it was a place that preferred to not play music, letting people have the chance to make conversation and still be heard. Laughter and casual intoxication set the ambience. It was greatly preferable to being forced to shout over the din of a club.
There were a lot of black and white photographs on the walls. Contextless images of long-forgotten sporting events and social occasions. The furniture was purposefully mismatched. The bar offered a plethora of brightly coloured sugary drinks. She ordered one at random and found a quiet corner to lurk in while she got her bearings and looked around.
The sickliness of her drink couldn't conceal the rawness of its alcohol content. She downed a few quick swallows anyway, for courage. Hannah felt a little out of place but she couldn't let it bother her. She was here for a reason after all.
It didn't take long for her to see someone. A girl, standing alone. She didn't look like she was waiting for anybody in particular, but there was an absence around her. Someone needed to talk to her. Who better than Hannah?
Hannah didn't have to feel nervous. She had done this lots of times before. Just because it had been a while, that didn't change anything.
"What brought you here tonight?"
"I just didn't want to spend the night alone in my room."
"No-one to keep you company?"
She shrugged.
"Your first time away from home?"
A nod. Quick, almost furtive.
"Scary, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Have you made many friends?"
"No."
"Don't worry. I'm sure you will."
"Are you a student here?"
"No, not for a while."
"Why are you here?"
"I was looking for you."
"Me?"
She needed a friend and Hannah was happy to be that. They could have fun together. The girl was so beautiful but she didn't realise it. Her name was Alice. She welcomed Hannah's company, even if she seemed surprised when her more prurient intent became apparent. Not that she objected really, and it didn't take long for them to be alone together, in Alice's small and sparsely furnished room in her hall of residence. The setting was ragged and institutional but the population was mostly cheerful.
Alice admitted with embarrassment that she had no prior experience with women. It wasn't a problem, Hannah knew what she was doing.
It couldn't be only about sex but Hannah felt more affection than romantic love for her young friend after her lusts had been sated.
"You're married?"
"Yes. His name's Peter."
"Are you unhappy with him... is that why you're here?"
"No. I love him. I just want something... else."
They saw each other a few more times over the following months. When Alice found somebody that offered her more, Hannah was sad for a moment, but mostly just glad that Alice had found someone and that she was happy and that she had been lucky enough to have that little piece of her life.
She'd had the chance to give some help and love to someone that needed it and received her own pleasures in return.
Of course she wasn't going to stop at that. There were so many other girls like that out there. Young, shy, inexperienced. Lonely. Looking for someone to help them complete the transition into womanhood. It seemed to Hannah that there was something almost spiritual about it.
It was a brief and transitory pleasure that she could enjoy. They would all move on to someone else eventually.
She had her fun and she made some friends. She learned not to rush into casual sex. It was better to make sure that she knew the girl well enough to be sure that she was sensible enough to not be hurt by casual encounters. If a girl was too delicate, it was better to just leave well enough alone. She didn't want to hurt anyone.
Nor did she want to jepoardise her marriage to Peter. She shared all of the details of her amorous encounters with him when they were alone together. He enjoyed masturbating while she whispered them to him.
She still enjoyed sex with him. Perhaps not as regularly as they had before, but it was only natural that there would be some decline in their sexual relationship. And it wasn't her fault if she found herself more drawn to pretty girls than she was to his increasingly middle-aged body.
Their two children were still young so it made sense that she never brought any of the girls to the house. Fortunately, they had enough disposable income that they didn't have to worry too much about the amount of money that she was spending on hotel rooms now.
When in time, Peter was driven to have his own affair, it was with a woman. Of course Hannah felt betrayed. He hadn't even mentioned that he was thinking about it before he did it. Then he made poor efforts to cover his tracks afterwards. It didn't take much for her to stumble upon the truth and he didn't try to deny it.
A part of her could at least comprehend why he had done it. When her own desire for others had grown, she had obligated herself to discuss it with him and gain his consent before she did anything and had always told him as much as he wanted to know about what she got up to with her young friends.
Where she had known that she had wanted to do something and then had gone looking for someone suitable to do it with, he had fallen for a specific individual. A girl he knew at work. She was more than a decade younger than either of them. Clearly they both had a taste for girls like that.
Whatever. She wanted a divorce. They were both adults and the separation didn't have to be acrimonious. He seemed to accept it and didn't argue, which felt like a sign that she was doing the right thing.
By this point their children were both teenagers. She resisted the urge to use them as a weapon against their father. He agreed to move out and found his own place. They had been fortunate with money and wouldn't have to struggle. She had always kept her own money distinct from what she contributed to the family purse. The official story was simply that the
y had grown apart and deemed it better to end the marriage now.
Hannah's later actions with a string of girlfriends were less discrete than they had been previously and she was increasingly less concerned with keeping them away from the family home. On more than one occasion her children found themselves stumbling upon women only a few years older than themselves in states of déshabillé.
Her tastes remained for girls around the age that she had been at her first affair with a girl. There was something special and beautiful about twenty year old girls. They existed in a state of transit, as the shell of childishness was shed but had not quite been replaced with the poise of womanhood. She was always getting older but they never did. It wasn't a specific individual that she wanted any more. It was just to be with someone that existed in that beautiful moment, to be a part of that.
Within a few short years, her children grew up and moved out. She was alone now in a house that had been intended to room a whole family. She felt lonely, and that made her want to find company. It was always out there if you knew where to look.
Her children grew older than the girls that she wanted. She knew that they found it embarrassing, but she wanted what she wanted and she couldn't live without it.
Her passions dwindled as age took its toll. In her twilight years she lived alone and the brief moments of friendship that she was able to spare with girls at that special age were the highlights of her existence.
At first it had hurt her when she could no longer stir desire, then she had grown resigned to it. The time when the treasures of youth were available to her by proxy had passed. She was a grandmother now.
When her loneliness and frailty became too much, she consented to move into sheltered accommodation. It was easier having people that could deal with a lot of the day to day matters that were increasingly too much for her to perform for herself.
She knew that there were others among the inhabitants who formed romances, even had liaisons. She didn't find the idea appealing. The last thing that she needed was to have her decrepitude highlighted to her by being intimate with someone else her own age. She was better off alone with her reminiscences. They warmed her heart even if her body seemed to have completely forgotten how to respond to such urges.
She was found dead in her bed one morning, several weeks before her ninetieth birthday.
Afterword
And so our tale is drawn to a close. Life has followed its rhythm as vicissitudes have ebbed and flowed. If, as they say, it is better to have loved, then Hannah did her part to make things better.
At eighteen she fell in love for the first time with a girl. By thirty she was married to a man. By fifty she was divorced and preferred her own company, with shared moments with some younger girls. Through the course of her life she was intimate with six men and twenty-seven women. She died at eighty-nine, with two children and three grandchildren. Her life was unremarkable. She made her choices and tried to control her destiny.
This story is just one of many, some already published, others yet to be told. Sinful Submissions is available for Kindle and as a book and more stories will follow soon. Additional information can be found at EdBemand.co.uk.
EB