His eyes open, dark with pain. “I understand you pulling away, but please know, I will never hurt you. I would rather die.”
His words are sincere. I can feel that, but I have found my limit. From the despairing look on Ryder’s face, I can see he knows this. “Why did you do it?”
Ryder’s face is etched with desperation. “To save your life. I vow it. My blood is my venom, and it is only deadly to my enemy. I have been designed this way.”
“And you put your… venom inside me?” My stomach tightens as awareness surges forward. “That’s why I’m different now.” To know you have something alien—foreign—inside you, causing you to change, is terrifying.
“In truth, you are a first. You are human. We are in uncharted territory.”
My eyes close in frustration with this violation. “Take the venom back.”
“I cannot.”
I inhale, trying to reel in my anger. If he wasn’t loaded with knives, I would punch him. “Is that why I’m tired, drained?”
“I don’t know.” His honest whisper haunts me and pisses me off further.
My eyes open and squint. “Who gave you the right to do this to me?”
“Rose, I had to do it. You don’t remember the ones hunting you, but I do. Fighting them is what I do. And they would not have given up that night in the woods. Instincts told me that your only chance to survive was to have my venom in your blood.” Ryder aggressively runs his fingers through his long, healthy brown hair. “It worked, but it was not fair to you to not have been given a choice that was so rightfully yours. That is why, against the other Guardians’ opinions, I chose to not bring you back to my village. I had hoped my blood would not affect you, and you could continue to live a normal, human life.”
My ears ring again. “Wait. G-Guardians? Village?” I rise to my feet.
Quickly and nervously, Ryder stands too but is too tall for the opening of my window, so he speaks through the glass between us. “Yes, the other Guardians.” One palm is on my glass. His other hand reaches below, through the opening to reach me, but I pull back, refusing to be touched. This hand retracts and rests on the windowpane along with his forehead. His are eyes closed, and his breath fogs the glass. “I am so sorry, but know I put your safety above all.”
With the knowledge that some extrinsic substance is in my body, I’m feeling an invasion of everything that is mine. I look around my room as if everything has been touched, tainted. “Would tonight be the first time you have been in my room?”
He exhales heavily. “No.”
“Leave.”
I don’t see him move, but Ryder is now right in front of me. “Please hear me out before you try to cast me away.”
I look up and growl, “Try?” at his insinuation.
A spasm of irritation crosses his face. “Yes, try because I can’t leave. I may have been in here many times, but it was to protect you, not harm you.” His eyes rake our surroundings. “This is the room where I have spent many nights watching over you.” His jaw tightens as he points a finger at me. “This is the room I fought for your life while you slept two feet from me under the blanket given to you by Gunner.”
I gasp, wondering if there is anything he doesn’t know about me.
He gestures to the window. “That is where I sat, forcing myself to release you as I’d been instructed.” He points to my bed. “That is where you were when I told you to sleep peacefully because I was helping your mother heal.”
I whimper, learning the truth behind Mama’s recovery. Every word he shares is like biblical scripture to me. I am human, and like other humans, we hope for miracles, for things larger than life, so that we have something to believe, to hope for. Mine is standing in front of me, daring me to believe in the supernatural. I want to believe. I think I need to believe.
He steps to me. “This is the room where you could hear me and know I was here, even though you shouldn’t have been able to.” With his body so close to mine, I light up like an internal Christmas tree has exploded within me. “This is the room where I first touched you.” I fight to keep my hands to myself. I want to touch him so badly it hurts. “This is the room where I begged you to let me go and be happy.” When his hand cups my face, I pant, desperate for air, desperate for—“This is the room where you insisted on holding my hand.” My knees weaken. His other arm wraps around my waist, stabilizing me. “This is where my world was turned upside down when you, in your sleep, begged me not to leave you.” My body goes limp. He catches me easily. I know what he’s saying is true. It explains all the longing, the craving for him. Ryder’s face is to mine now. “And this is the room where I… fell in love with you, Rose.”
At this moment, it doesn’t matter how insane all this sounds to me. It doesn’t matter that I might go over the edge for good and be dreaming this all because I want him.
As simple and as basic as that, my decision is made.
Reality be damned, I want him.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryder
There’s a full silence between us. Nothing is being said, but so much is being told. Her eyes drift to my mouth, and an insatiable craving owns me. Still watching my lips, Rose asks, “Have I… kissed you before?”
I can barely talk with my want and need of her. “Once.”
Now I mirror her as I struggle to breathe. The fullness of her lips beckons me to sample them, causing impulses wanting to take charge. “Rose, I-I have to—”
As if she’s experiencing the same controlling need, Rose nods impatiently. “Please,” she begs. “Please kiss me.”
As I lean to her, the tension between our mouths summons lightning bolts. The shocks intensify the closer I am to her. Our lips touch for only a fraction of a second before I feel the inevitable. I pull my mouth from hers, jaw straining. “Rose, it’s happening again—the Link. What do you want me to do?”
Her struggle is evident. “Y-You spoke of your soul, but do you want this?”
I grunt, trying to hold back till she decides. “More than anything.” Our souls’ higher-level agreement demands Rose and I seal the commitment here on earth. I struggle to talk but want her to know how serious I am. “I will never spend another night without you by my side.”
With my answer, a surrender takes place in Rose. She says with determination, “Then I give you permission—” The Link feels her answer before she did, causing an electrical charge to surge through us. I hold Rose’s human body to mine, trying to help her with a ride I can barely withstand. It is not painful, but it is intensely powerful. It’s the most fulfilling experience of my life. My eyes shut as our Link forges.
Rose’s arms wrap around me as she relaxes. “It’s real. My soul knows you.” To give someone else control is to capitulate to an uncontrollable need to be out of control. Rose manages this easily. “We are connecting.” She exhales all her fight.
Behind closed eyes, I see two lights dancing around each other, as if finding a long-lost friend, then mending and becoming one. Her body no longer has a physical feel against mine. It is as if we no longer have any form to our bodies. We are connected beyond mere bodies.
We blend until I think I’m going to pass out or float away. Tingling numbness is proof of the powers evoked within us. My body can no longer hold either of us up. I fall backward, pulling Rose on top me. We land on her bed, neither of us fighting gravity. I exhale in an exquisite emotion. We are and have always been.
Suddenly, I’m sent into a tunnel of sights and smells. Emotions, her emotions run enthusiastically through my heart, my soul. It is like I’m being informed of what I have missed in this lifetime of hers, as if there’s something I am to see or learn. For a second, I’m pulled from what I am seeing when I hear Rose gasp on top of me. My arms tighten around her, but I realize she is doing the same, seeing my memories.
Racing through a tunnel again, I see through Rose’s eyes. A baby placed in her arms… Her dad smiling as he swings her around in the air… Her mother showing her how to bake her first cake. I can tell by her heart’s reaction that it was a tender moment. Sam chasing her and Gunner in the backyard… Rose and Gunner helping her dad work in a field… Her first school bus ride with Gunner… Her mother kissing her finger while speaking of a boo-boo? Middle school… Gunner… High school… Gunner… Her father becoming ill… Gunner… Her father’s funeral… Gunner… Her mother getting sick… Gunner… Heartache… Gunner… School… Gunner… Groceries… Gunner… Waiting tables… Gunner…
And that is what I am to know: Gunner.
Overwhelmed by her pain and love for Gunner, I try to pull air into my lungs. I’m not ready to see more of her affections, but it’s perfectly clear how important he is to her and how he has taken such good care of her and her family. With Rose’s body molded to mine, I suddenly feel indebted to Gunner instead of jealous. She is mine now, and I will treasure her until the end of time.
“That’s why you wanted so deeply to save my mom.” Rose lifts her head to see me. She is visibly shaken, her chest pumping with exasperated breaths. “Because you knew what it was like to lose one.”
I can’t move for a moment. I just stare into her hazel eyes that are so affected by my past. My mother was my world, and losing her when I was so young was almost my death sentence. By the expression on Rose’s face, she knows this to be true.
Her tiny, soft hand caresses my face so affectionately that I’m lost in her touch. Any prior wounds are gone. With Rose, I am whole. She whispers, “Thank you so much for my mama. I can never repay you.”
With gratitude, I quickly grasp the hand that is touching me and kiss her palm, completely speechless with the gift she has just given me. When Rose slept, I believed I was witnessing beauty, not her outer allure, but a kindness lurking inside her. Now, seeing her awake, I know it is her sincerity—her beautiful soul—that has captured me.
Rose owns me. It is as simple as that. She owns me.
“Ryder, souls are all equal, aren’t they? I mean, I felt there are no limits, no difference in color or race.”
Rose astonishes me. When she speaks, you automatically know her words are valuable. I had suspected being on the receiving end of her conversation would be stupendous, and I was correct. She tends to her thoughts before speaking, a rare quality I admire deeply.
She smiles. “My soul’s commitment to you feels so right. And I could feel how much it—how much I missed you. You missed me, too.”
Normally, humans get caught up in their everyday lives and are not nearly this perceptive. Amazed at her immediate insight, I nod. “Yes, I don’t know when I’ve known you before, but I am positive I have done so. I give you all I have to offer. Me.”
“No matter what we have to learn about each other, no matter what transpires, you and I are as one, Ryder.” Rose sounds so confident in her decision to Link with me.
My inhaled breath is cleansing. I feel free. I repeat her strong words as a vow. “As one.”
After a quiet moment, Rose giggles. “I’m probably squashing you.” She slides off me. The thought of her slender frame causing my body any discomfort has me chuckling out loud. Rose is still quite unaware of my strengths, what I was created for.
We lie facing each other, trying to allow our minds to catch up with all the growth we’ve just experienced. Rose’s hand reaches out, and her fingers trace the contours of my face. “I can’t wait to stare at you for the rest of my life.” It is only fair she gets to know me like I’ve had the chance to learn her. It feels so good to be the one she is exploring. She looks into my eyes. “How much does everything change now?”
“I don’t know yet. We will be shown in due time. But I believe we will learn to adjust and find our way through uncommon ground.”
My hands ache to touch her. My body wants to consummate our union. Denying my need is tortuous, but Rose is human, and I don’t want to rush her. Therefore, I need distance again. “It is time I stand guard.” I rise from her bed.
Rose props up on her elbow. “That’s it? Link and leave me?” Rose teasing me is a great sign of her endurance, but getting away from her beckoning bottom lip is now a necessity before I proceed with more than Rose may want. My animal instincts are ready to consume her whole.
I walk to the window and glance back. “How about questions? Since you have allowed your entire existence to be altered, you might have a few.”
Sitting down on the outside of her window gives me the space I need to gain self-control. Rose follows then happily perches on pillows inside her window. “Where to start… Oh, in that, uh, memory-tunnel thingy, I saw you training so hard. What is that for?”
“To become a Guardian Warrior.”
She thinks for a moment. “Houses. I saw you watching so many houses in all kinds of neighborhoods. And faces. I saw who you grew up with. Faces you love. The black woman with the flower in her hair.”
I smile at the thought of that female. “Nora. She is the closest to a mother I have.”
“And the big black man? Who trained you?”
“Male and female. We are not men or women.”
“Oh, umm, male. Sticking that in the memory bank. You love him too,” she says more to herself than to me. “Why did he say, ‘Your time is near’?”
Even though she was shown this, and that means it needs to be discussed, I’m not ready to speak about all my coming responsibilities. “Parker. He is our Warrior leader. He treats me like his son. His brother is Hunter, Nora’s male—” I hear something and freeze.
Rose reacts quickly. “What is it?”
I glance at the woods and keep listening. “Someone is coming.”
Not from woods, Parker reflects.
I nod and face Rose again.
“Who are you nodding to?”
“Parker.”
“He’s here? Watching us?” She sounds alarmed.
“They’re deeper in the woods.”
It isn’t a lie. I’m just not indulging how far Warriors can see and hear over a distance.
“Uh, okay. Who is coming, then?”
I listen harder. “Oh, it’s your mother.”
Rose’s head tilts. “How do you—”
I point to my ears. “Your truck has a distinctive rattle in the tail pipe.”
She squints. “For a few days, my hearing excelled.” Rose breathes deeply. “You really are different. How could I look into your eyes when they glow and still allow myself to be in denial?”
“Humans tend to block out what they’re not ready for.”
“Have I seen what you’ve protected me from?”
The universe that controls what memories we shared during our Link chose not to show her my fighting for a reason. Afraid this is too much in one night, I don’t volunteer more. “Yes. You will remember in good time.”
“Do you only watch over me?”
“I do now, but I used to have more at once.”
“If you’re an elf, I can only imagine that you defend us from… things not of our world?”
“They are of your world—as am I—but we try to keep their and our existence from you because your history has turned so many creatures into myths. We do not feel it is our place to disrupt your belief system with truth. So we protect you in the night from what only your young believe to be hiding under your beds.”
Rose pales slightly.
Her mother drives up the driveway. “Wow, you heard her from far away.”
“It is quiet here. Makes it easier. I’ve become familiar with your sounds.”
Rose glances down. “Don’t leave because she’s here. I’m already missing you.”
Her whisper almost
rips my heart from my chest. I rise to my knees and grasp her face, making her look into my eyes. “Never another night without you by my side, remember?”
Silky auburn hair flows over my hands as my thumbs touch her soft cheeks. Rose slowly moves to her knees. Studying me, she starts to pant, and her eyes almost close as she moans. “You want me.”
I look at my shaking arms, my hands refusing to let go of her fragile face. I’m heavily breathing with my need of her in this raw form and become aware of the possibility of hurting her. Rose is not a female of my kind and may not be able to withstand what my body demands. But her body sensing and reacting to mine only feeds my need to claim her. I close my eyes and fight my desire to crawl through the window and consume her. “Yes.”
Rose’s body sways, causing my eyes to open. She’s no longer steady on her knees. “I’ve never felt this before.”
My teeth grind as my organ demands to be put to use. My hands tighten and pull her to me. Rose’s hands land on my chest, and feeling her touch my skin sends me into a frenzy that refuses to be denied. Her mouth opens, and she leans in. I’m finally going to taste her—
“We’re home!” Her mother announces as she swings open the front door.
Rose’s eyes lazily open and see our proximity. “I want you to kiss me.”
So close to Rose, her tantalizing breath crosses my lips, stunning me. My mouth is open to speak, yet no words take shape. My body is in charge and doesn’t want to talk anymore.
“Rose? Why’s Sam outside?” her mother asks from downstairs.
Sensual hazel eyes never leave mine.
“Rose.” Her mother now sounds a tad bit alarmed.
I violently tremble as I force myself to release her. “G-Go to your mother. Let her know you’re okay.”
Still staring at me, Rose hollers, “I’m coming,” and gets to her feet. She gives me a piercing stare. “I want you, too, Ryder.”
Rain (Stranger in the Woods Book 1) Page 14