Illusions of Love

by Michelle Betham

  India looked down into her glass again, swirling the amber liquid round for a few seconds until she realised what she was doing and took a drink instead, banishing any more memories of her brother’s tragic death to the back of her mind.

  ‘He’ll sort this out, Charley. Vince. He’ll sort this out, I know he will.’

  Charley said nothing; she couldn’t, because every time she thought about what she was putting Vince through it ripped her apart. He shouldn’t have to be doing any of this, not when he had his own shit to deal with – the hotels, the movie. He was a very busy man. But a man who – and Charley knew India was right here – could make this better. Somehow. She hoped.

  ‘Anyway,’ Charley said, smiling at India, signalling a subject change was on the way, and India knew just what that subject was going to be. ‘You and Dominic.’

  ‘There is no me and Dominic. Not at the minute, anyway.’

  ‘Have you spoken to him? Since it all happened, I mean.’

  ‘I work with him, Charley. Of course I’ve spoken to him.’

  ‘Outside of the movie set, India. Y’know, Kenny’s right, you do have a tendency to revert to flippancy when faced with something you don’t want to talk about.’ Charley watched her famous friend closely, her body language immediately changing the second she’d mentioned Dominic’s name. ‘So, have you spoken to him?’

  India sighed, sitting back against the soft cushions of the extremely comfortable sofa. She felt like kicking off her shoes and curling up in the corner with an old movie and a huge box of chocolates, and she felt like doing all of that with just one man. One man she was trying very hard to ignore, but failing miserably.

  ‘I saw him about an hour ago. Outside, by the pool at the Coconut Palm Bar.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘He wanted to talk, I couldn’t be bothered to sit through any more of his excuses. We’re no farther forward.’

  ‘So, that comment alone would indicate that you’d like to move farther forward. Am I right?’

  India just looked at Charley, finishing the last of her wine but saying nothing.

  ‘What about Michael? Have you spoken to him? And I mean, again, outside of the movie set.’ Charley walked over to India and took her empty glass, immediately re-filling it with more wine.

  ‘No, I haven’t spoken to him. But what freaks me out more than anything is that he hasn’t even tried to speak to me. It’s like he’s waiting for the right time to hit me with something else, y’know? I just can’t trust him.’

  Charley handed her the newly-filled glass of wine and poured herself a fresh glass. ‘Did you see JJ when you were back in L.A.?’

  India nodded, absent-mindedly looking at the JJ tattoo on her left wrist, the tattoo she’d had done when he’d been her world, when she’d thought she’d finally found the one man she could settle down with. The one man she’d once loved more than anything. And part of her wished with all her heart that she still felt the same way, that she wasn’t having to go through all of this. She should have had the strength to make that marriage work because JJ was one in a million. But he deserved so much better than her. ‘The divorce should be final in a day or so.’ She looked up at Charley. ‘So, that’s it. Marriage number three, done. Finished.’

  Charley sat down next to India, taking her hand and squeezing it gently, smiling at her. Her beautiful best friend. But a woman who just couldn’t seem to find someone to settle down with, someone who could truly make her happy. Although, deep down inside, everyone – including India – knew that only one man had ever really been able to make her happy, but that man had also hurt her in the most painful of ways and she knew that India would never get past that. Even if she wanted to. And that was still the root of all her problems, complicated even more, Charley suspected, by the appearance of his son.

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ India smiled back, wiping stupid tears from her eyes. ‘Jesus, how did this end up about me?’

  Charley pulled her in for a hug and India held onto her tight, closing her eyes, and for one brief minute she wished they were both back in England, back behind their admin desks in that solicitor’s office in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, living an uncomplicated, carefree life. But she knew that, even with all the crap that was going on, neither of them really wanted to be anywhere else. They just wanted the circumstances to change.

  ‘Really. I’ll be fine. I’m just being stupid, a little over-emotional. I guess divorce is never easy, and I’m missing the kids but, hey, I’ve got mum and dad here now, haven’t I? Plenty of people to keep an eye on me.’

  ‘And Kenny,’ Charley smiled.

  ‘Yeah.’ India gave a small laugh, pulling away from Charley, sliding her dark glasses down over her eyes. The last thing she needed was anybody seeing she’d been crying. ‘I’ve always got Kenny.’

  And for another of those brief moments, Charley couldn’t help but feel – for that one reason alone – incredibly envious of India. All over again.

  CHAPTER 27

  The Coconut Palm Bar was full of its usual mix of curious tourists and bohemian regulars, the latter of which always arrived just as the sun was setting, when the atmosphere was more mellow and the drinks were flowing. Although, that party atmosphere that always surrounded the bar in the daytime and early evening still hung heavy in the air with loud, rocking music and people dancing amongst the cabanas that lined the poolside and the tables closer to the half-moon shaped bar that was draped in fairy lights and lanterns, giving the place an almost Caribbean feel.

  India sat back against the super-sized zebra-print cushions that were scattered over the white corner-sofa in the private cabana that she, Kenny and Bobby had commandeered for the evening, although Bobby had spent less time in the cabana and more time outside by the pool. Miguel was working bar for the night, showing off his cocktail-making skills to an enthralled crowd, but nobody was more enthralled than Bobby, who was just loving having his partner back in Vegas for a few days.

  The more private cabana’s – like the one they were using – were staggered over various levels of the pool area around the Coconut Palm Bar, and were more like tiny hotel rooms as opposed to the pool-side cabanas which were basically just a huge double four-poster bed covered by a cascading canopy of draped white muslin.

  The private cabanas were slightly sturdier with a thatched roof, sofas, TV and Mp3 player and fairy lights strewn all around the place. There was even the option of a private waiter on hand to serve drinks, if requested. Kenny and India didn’t need that service though. Bobby was keeping them well supplied with Miguel’s finest cocktails.

  It was turning out to be one of the best nights India had experienced since arriving in Vegas, just kicking back and hanging out. Kenny had even brought his guitar, although it was difficult to drown out the music coming from the main bar area so Kenny just played along, both of them singing out loud to classic rock songs from the likes of The Eagles, Pink Floyd and The Who. India really couldn’t remember a more relaxed and chilled out evening, just her and the man she would always call her best friend.

  ‘I was thinking, why don’t we get out of here, once this movie’s wrapped? Go on vacation, somewhere away from all of this. Just me and you,’ Kenny smiled, quietly strumming away on his guitar as the strains of Free’s Fire and Water drifted up from the bar. ‘Anywhere in particular you feel like going?’

  India stretched out on the sofa, closing her eyes as she inhaled and breathed out deep, letting the past few days and all the crap it had brought to her door just wash over her.

  ‘I don’t know, Kenny. I hadn’t even thought about what I’ll do when this movie’s finished. Apart from go back to L.A. and spend some time with the kids.’

  ‘We could take them with us. Anywhere you want to go, kiddo, just say the word.’

  She leant over and kissed him gently. ‘You are so bloody lovely, do you know that?’

  ‘Yeah, well, don’t tell everyone,’ Kenny smiled, winking at her. ‘I’ve still got an image to
keep up… Is that your cell phone or mine?’

  India reached over and grabbed her phone from the table beside her, checking the screen. ‘It’s mine. Another message from Dominic.’

  Kenny laid his guitar down against the sofa, sitting back and grabbing his bottle of beer from the floor, taking a long swig. ‘You not gonna check it?’

  India sat back too, scrolling down the message Dominic had sent her. A short, simple message – Talk to me. Please.

  Pushing a hand through her hair she sighed heavily, showing Kenny the screen.

  ‘Talk to him,’ Kenny said, taking another drink. ‘Because he’s obviously not going to give up until you do.’

  ‘Who’s not going to give up?’ Bobby asked, arriving back at the cabana with more drinks, looking resplendent in khaki shorts and a brightly coloured T-shirt, a straw hat with a cocktail umbrella sticking out of it now covering his dark hair, a pair of maracas sticking out of his back pocket.

  India looked at her fabulous P.A. She loved him to death because, no matter what situation she was in, he could always make her smile. Somehow. He never judged her, he never interfered, yet he always helped. That was what Bobby did. And he did it so well.

  ‘Dominic,’ India replied, pulling the cocktail umbrella out of his hat and sticking it in her hair.

  ‘Have you seen him tonight?’ Bobby asked, handing her something yellow and green which she took without question. Miguel had a habit of making drinks that sometimes looked slightly alarming in colour, but they always tasted great.

  ‘No. I haven’t seen him. Why? Is he hanging around outside or something?’

  Bobby nodded. ‘I’m surprised he hasn’t come looking for you up here, actually.’

  India ignored the tiny flip her stomach turned, hugging her knees to her chest. ‘These are private cabanas, Bobby. He probably wouldn’t get past Carlos, anyway. Regardless of who he is.’

  ‘Carlos? Oh, you mean Rocky out there?’ Bobby tutted, pursing his lips and folding his arms, indicating outside to where India’s personal security guard was lurking somewhere discreetly out of sight.

  ‘Bobby! Carlos is lovely! And he’s only looking out for me right now, isn’t he?’ India smiled, all too aware that Bobby was slightly unnerved by the appearance of the tighter security surrounding her at the minute. Security she wasn’t all that keen on having herself. But, despite Carlos being a very large built Hispanic man with an intense stare, he was harmless, really. To those who played by the rules.

  Bobby sniffed, sitting down and crossing his legs, his arms still folded. ‘Well, I don’t think he likes me, Angel.’

  India couldn’t help laughing. ‘What makes you say that?’

  ‘Have you seen the way he looks at me?’

  She wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. ‘You’re being silly. Try speaking to him now and again; you’ll see how lovely he is. Anyway…’ She trailed off, sitting back against the cushions again, looking at Kenny. Did she really want to talk about Dominic? Did she really want to spoil this perfect night?

  ‘He’s hanging around down by the bar,’ Bobby said, answering the question she’d really wanted to ask. ‘He wanted to know if you were here.’

  Kenny just raised his eyebrows, shrugging. He wasn’t going to tell her that he really didn’t want her to talk to Dominic tonight. Hell, he didn’t want her to talk to Dominic at all if he could help it.

  ‘Did you tell him anything?’ India asked, turning away from Kenny. She’d done it now, hadn’t she? She was going to see Dominic tonight, whether she really wanted to or not. She’d left herself with no choice.

  ‘Of course not, Princess!’ He looked at her, biting down on his bottom lip. ‘Should I have done?’

  She curled her legs up underneath her, shaking her head. ‘No. I think he already knows I’m here anyway, otherwise why send me that text?’

  Bobby threw a questioning look in Kenny’s direction. ‘He’s still trying to talk to her,’ Kenny said, draining the last of his beer from the bottle, immediately picking up the fresh one Bobby had brought him. He suddenly needed a bigger kick of alcohol.

  Bobby turned his attention to India, his eyes meeting hers and the look he gave her made tears well up out of nowhere, because Bobby could read her so well. He knew, just by looking at her, that she was going to give in to the man that was Michael’s son. She was going to give in because she needed to do that for the sake of her own sanity. Pretending she didn’t care was just too exhausting. Another bad decision on her part? Maybe. But she was going to make it anyway.

  ‘I’ll go get him,’ Bobby sighed, pulling himself up from the floor and kissing her forehead, squeezing her hand. ‘Honestly, Angel, are you ever going to start doing anything that doesn’t involve a whole heap of complications?’

  Kenny looked at her, forcing a smile that he didn’t feel much like giving, but maybe they’d always been heading in this direction, despite everything that had gone on before. Even now, albeit more indirectly than Kenny could have predicted, Michael Walsh still had a hold over India. Just not in a way that even he could have envisaged.

  ‘You gonna be okay?’ Kenny asked, getting up and grabbing his guitar, slinging it over his shoulder.

  India smiled back, hugging her knees to her chest. ‘Yeah. I’m gonna be just fine.’

  He sat back down, putting a hand to her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb, kissing her quickly on the mouth. ‘Give me a call, okay? If you need me.’ He stood back up before India could say anything. ‘Hey, Bobby! Wait up! I’ll save you from the clutches of Carlos…’

  India sat back against the cushions, grabbing one from behind her head and hugging it tight, a feeling of excitement mixed with nerves – still tinged with a touch of anger – causing her stomach to somersault continuously now she knew Dominic was on his way. This would be the first time she’d really been alone with him since it had all happened – that surreal night when she’d found out he was Michael’s son. The first time she’d really talked to him – properly talked to him – outside of the movie set. And what it was she actually said to him she had yet to work out, because she still didn’t know what it was she was really feeling.

  ‘Hey, beautiful.’

  She opened her eyes and looked up. There he stood, leaning back against the wooden post of the cabana frame, his arms folded, his face serious. And she kind of missed the movie star smile he usually greeted her with, but maybe he was gauging her reaction before he started with all of that again. She couldn’t blame him.

  ‘Hey,’ she said, sitting up and crossing her legs up underneath her.

  He sat down beside her, leaning forward, his hands clasped between his open knees as he stared straight ahead of him. ‘Alone at last, huh?’ He looked at her, a glimmer of that movie star smile beginning to appear but she didn’t smile back, not yet. She didn’t want him to think she was giving in that easy, because she wasn’t going to.

  ‘Maybe we do need to talk,’ she said, fiddling with the leather cuff bracelet she was wearing, her eyes finally meeting his and staying there. Those incredible, beautiful eyes of his. Eyes just like his father. Her ex-husband. The man she could never forget.

  ‘I don’t want to beat about the bush, India. I don’t want to waste time with conversations that are only going to take us round in circles; I just want you to know that I love you, okay? And I know that may be hard for you to believe, coming from me, but I do. I love you. Maybe it wasn’t my intention for that to happen when I started that ridiculous game I should never have played, but it did happen. And I had no control over that, because you give nobody a choice, baby. You give no man any fucking choice and I fell hard, honey. So fucking hard, you have no idea…’

  ‘So why didn’t you just tell me, Dominic? When you started to feel that way, why didn’t you just tell me everything?’

  ‘Would you have understood any more than you do now?’

  A sudden breeze swept the curtains pul
led around the cabana frame aside to reveal the lights from the pool-bar a level below them, palm trees swaying gently and what seemed like millions of tiny stars lighting up the black, cloudless night sky.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she whispered, looking at Dominic who was now staring at the floor. ‘I just know that you should have told me. Before Michael had a chance to do what he did because you let him win, and that’s something you should never do with a man like Michael Walsh.’

  Dominic looked back up at her. ‘You loved him once, though. Didn’t you?’ I mean, you two, you were one of the strongest couples in Hollywood. What… what happened to change that?’

  India turned away from him, focusing on the fairy lights strewn from the roof above them, each tiny twinkling white light becoming blurred through more tears that were threatening to fall thanks to the re-emergence of a subject she really didn’t want to talk about. Least of all with Dominic.

  ‘It’s over, Dominic. All of that, it’s over.’

  ‘Your relationship with Michael…’

  ‘I thought you’d come here to talk about us.’

  His eyes met hers again and he stared at her, determined to get through to this woman tonight, even if it took until sunrise to do so. ‘So, there still is an ‘us’, then?’

  She wanted to look away again but she couldn’t. She couldn’t turn away, it was almost as if there was something in those blue, blue eyes that hypnotised her into staying right she where was. A feeling she’d felt so often with his father. And that’s what scared her.

  ‘That’s what we’re here to find out,’ she said quietly, making a conscious effort to stop playing with the hem of her dress because she was all too aware it made her look nervous. And she could handle this. She’d handled far worse.

  He continued to look at her, holding her gaze. ‘I’ve been an idiot. A total jerk, I can’t deny that. What I did it was… it was wrong. It was stupid, thoughtless, but I... Jesus, I don’t know. I guess finding out that Michael Walsh is your long lost father kind of messes with your head.’