Did I mention he was a giant dick?
Before I realized what I was doing, I turned sharply to go back home because I had no intention of being anywhere near the people that ruined my life. I knew for a fact they didn’t want to be anywhere near me either, not since I did what I did after everything happened back then.
But my actions were justified. What could they say? Mr. Mitchell probably had a thousand excuses for his son’s actions that night. Hell, he did have a thousand excuses. According to his father, Jayce was under a lot of stress with his senior year of high school and getting into college. Like that was any reason to drink and drive. Like that made what Jayce did to my sister okay.
Anger made my hands shake as I tried making my escape, but my crutches hit a patch of ice that was on the walkway and I went down before I knew what was really happening.
I did manage to catch myself by sticking out my hands on instinct. The impact stung only for the first few seconds but went away. I was half sitting, half lounging on my left hip, trying to avoid letting my right knee touch the ground. The black leggings that I wore were damp from the slush I landed in, and my hands were scraped up by the salt my palms landed on.
One of my crutches slid across the walkway and out of my reach, but suddenly it was being handed over to me.
I looked up and tensed.
Jayce was holding my crutch.
Jayce was trying to help me.
I refused. I managed to get up on my own, using the other crutch I had to support myself. I brushed off my hands and then slid my hand over my leggings to get some of the dirt and salt off of them too. Without looking, I took the crutch from Jayce and settled it under my arm.
He cleared his throat and gestured toward my backpack that was currently drenched in a puddle.
I sighed and picked it up, letting the water drip off of it before I flung it over my shoulder.
“Are you okay?” he asked, as if he cared.
He didn’t look much different than I remember. Besides his face being a little thinner and more defined, he was the same Jayce Mitchell I knew in school. He was the same person that I vowed to never forgive until the day I died.
“Come on, Ashley,” he said, sighing. “I’m just trying to help you. I can’t help but think that you falling was my fault.”
I snorted dryly. “You think? It seems like a lot of the problems in my life are all your fault.”
His jaw ticked. “You know what? That was fucking three years ago. I apologized. I got fucking locked up. I’m on parole for crying out loud. What more do you want?”
“My sister back,” I growled, hobbling past him, making sure my shoulder shoved his as I passed.
He cut me off though. “It was an accident—”
“Jayce!” a loud voice boomed from behind us.
His father sauntered over and gave me a death glare. “I thought that was you.”
I mirrored his look. “Believe me, I’m not a fan of seeing you around either.” I looked at Jayce. “Especially you.”
He crossed his arms on his chest. “Well you better get used to me, because as of today I’m officially attending SUNY Oneonta.”
My eyes widened. “But the semester already started!”
“I’m getting a tutor to help catch me up in the classes I’m taking, but I’m back baby.”
“Don’t you dare call me baby.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ashley. You are the last person on this planet that I would ever get together with. But don’t be too disappointed.”
My hand twitched. If his father wasn’t here I would have hit him. Repeatedly.
“You are disgusting,” I told him, looking between him and his father. “You both walk around here like you have no worries in the world. Do you even feel bad about what you did? Do you even regret getting behind the wheel that night?”
“We don’t have time for this,” Mr. Mitchell, said pulling his son away from me.
“Yes you do!” I snapped angrily. “You’re just too much of a coward to admit that what happened was your sons fault. What he did was horrible and tragic, and it broke my family. And you’re avoiding it like it was just a bad dream!”
Mr. Mitchell turned quickly and jabbed his finger into my shoulder. “You better watch yourself, missy. You are no better than my son. What about what you did? Huh?”
Tear welled in my eyes. “I didn’t take anybody’s life like Jayce did. Whether he meant to hurt her or not, he had a choice that night and he made the wrong one.”
“Everybody makes mistakes, little girl.”
I slapped his hand away. “Touch me again and I will make sure the police come back to your house. Only this time it’ll be for you.”
I swear he growled.
“Let’s go dad,” Jayce said, tugging on his dad’s arm. “We have better places to be than talking to this bitch. Clearly she has no interest in leaving the past.”
I went to say something but they were already walking away. They left me standing in the middle of the sidewalk, drenched with water and pissed as hell.
They weren’t sorry. They had no remorse. They thought it was all over because it happened three years ago. Who could live like that knowing that a life was taken away from another family?
I decided that class wasn’t important today. I hated lit theory anyway, so missing a class wasn’t going to make me feel guilty. Not after that encounter.
I dialed up mom and told her about Jayce being officially enrolled. She apologized, trying to make it sound like it wouldn’t be so bad just like she always did. I truly wanted to believe her, but I knew better than that.
Something told me that I was going to be seeing a lot more of Jayce Mitchell.
On my way back up the stairs, I had to stop to catch my breath. Partially because I was still so pissed that I was having trouble breathing evenly, but also because it was a pain in the ass to walk with these stupid crutches. I was half tempted to ditch them and just try walking normally, but the last time I did that I was having problems putting full pressure on my leg.
“Ashley?” a familiar voice called from the behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Ezra smiling as he walked up the steps.
When he saw my face, which was probably red from the cold and irritation, something crossed over his expression. Worry.
“You okay?”
“Just don’t feel so hot.”
He didn’t buy it, but he let it go. “Want me to drive you home? Did Tara drop you off?”
I nodded. “She had to work so she dropped me off for my class. I think I just want to go and sleep for the day though.”
“What were you going to do if I didn’t see you?”
I looked away. “Walk or wait for the bus.”
He sighed. “You have my number, remember?”
I shrugged. “Do you have classes?”
“I just finished mine for the day.”
I scrunched my nose. “It’s only like noon.”
He chuckled. “I like taking early classes. That way I have the rest of the day to do whatever. So I’m taking you back to the apartment. No arguments.”
I didn’t say anything and just followed him to the parking lot. His truck stuck out like a sore thumb in the commuter lot full of rusty old cars that most college students had. Hell, my car wasn’t perfect. In fact, it was a junker.
Once we were inside, he had the heat blasting to thaw me. I put my hands in front of the vents and rubbed them together, not realizing how cold I really was.
“What happened to your hands?” he asked, grabbing them and examining them palms up.
The bottom of my palms were scraped up and red, but they didn’t look that bad.
“I fell.”
“Jesus, Ash,” he muttered. “Are you always so clumsy?”
I glared at him. “It wouldn’t have happened if—”
I stopped myself.
“If what?” he pressed. “Did somebody make you fall? Did they push yo
u?”
He sounded pissed.
“No, no.” I shook my head and drew my hands back, putting them into my lap. “I was surprised over seeing someone and lost my balance when I tried to leave before they saw me.”
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t you want them to see you?”
I looked out the window, staring at the car parked in the spot next to his truck. It was a black Honda civic with Batman stickers all over it, and a bat mobile decal in the back window.
“It was somebody from my past…”
“Oh.” He cleared his throat and backed out of the parking spot. “Ex-boyfriend?”
I made a disgusted sound. “Ew, gross! Absolutely not. I would never in a million years get together with that no good rat bastard dick face!”
He choked out a laugh. “Rat bastard dick face?”
He pulled out onto the main driveway that would lead us back to the road. “The guy…it doesn’t matter. He is just not somebody that I’d ever be with. He doesn’t deserve anybody. And anyway, I’ve never dated.”
He slowed down for a stop sign. “Like at all?”
I shook my head no.
He didn’t drive forward even when the road was clear. “Are you seriously telling me that you have never, in your life, dated?”
I rolled my eyes. “That is what I said.”
A car honked behind us.
“Ezra, go.”
He sighed and pulled out after looking to make sure nobody was coming again. “Ashley, you are something else. How come you’ve never dated? I mean everybody dates in high school.”
“Not everybody,” I muttered.
“Not even a middle school boyfriend? Or elementary school?”
I groaned. “No! Can we just drop it?”
“No,” he informed me, slowing down as the speed limit changed when we passed the next college zone down the road.
“Why?” I challenged.
“Because I would have assumed that the reason you don’t date now is because somebody did you wrong before,” he admitted, putting on his signal to turn onto our street. “So if you’ve never dated anybody that did something to you, and I’m glad that something like that never happened, then that means something else happened.”
“Why would you assume that?” I snapped coolly, shooting him a narrowed glare. “Is it so shocking that I never put out when I was young just because I do now?”
He pulled into the parking lot of our building and turned off his truck. He turned so he was facing me. “I did not say that nor did I assume that. I’m just trying to figure you out.”
“Well don’t.”
“Does it bother you?”
“There are things that happened…” I shook my head, snapping myself out of the explanation I was about to give him. “It’s breaking our deal. You don’t ask about my demons and I don’t ask about yours.”
He leaned his arm on the steering wheel. “I think I’m starting to regret making that deal.”
I shrugged.
“We’re going on a date.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“You’ve never been on a date before, so I’m going to be your first.”
I snorted. “Too late on that front, buddy.”
He chuckled. “I’m talking about a date, not sex. Although if the date goes well…”
That got my attention.
He chuckled. “Say you’ll go on a date with me.”
I pressed my lips together and thought about it. He made it clear that he wasn’t going to do anything with me until I was willing to make myself open to more than just a fling, and I respected that. I really did. The effort he was trying to put into this—into us—was scary, because I wasn’t used to the idea of somebody willing to put themselves out there. And dating usually meant being completely open to the person they’re with, and what if Ezra didn’t like who that was? The things I did in the past…
“Hey,” he said quietly, brushing my hand with his.
I blushed. “Sorry.”
“What were you thinking about?”
I said, “I thought you wanted to wait until I was ready to be with you?”
He intertwined our fingers together. “I want to wait until what we do means something to you in ways that it never did with other guys. And how can I ensure that happens if we don’t go out? If nobody else took you out and showed you a good time that didn’t involve sex, then how would you know what kind of fun is out there? What kind of guy is out there? I want to be that guy for you, Ash. I want us to get to know each other, and I want to show you that I’m not here to just use you. I’m in for the long haul.”
Holy shit. That was…damn.
I let out a shallow breath.
Even I was shocked when I answered, “Yes.”
9
The doorbell rang loudly multiple times, followed by multiple knocks at the door, which woke me up from my nap. At first, I debated letting whoever it was assume I wasn’t home, but since they seemed insistent on being let in, there was no way I could just fall back asleep.
I looked at my alarm to see it was three thirty. Tara was usually home by now, but clearly I was the only one in the apartment since our guest was still at the front door.
I got out of bed and grabbed my crutches, making my way to the door. I unlatched the chain and flipped the deadbolt, opening the door slowly and tiredly.
“Ashley,” Mom greeted, walking in with dad following close behind her.
I stepped back to let them pass me. I was officially confused. It was three thirty in the afternoon on a Tuesday.
“Aren’t you two supposed to be at work?” I asked, walking into the living room. I sat down on the chair in the corner of the room, dragging my hand over my face to try getting myself to wake up.
“Were you sleeping?” Dad asked.
“Of course she was,” Mom said. “Look at her hair! Unless she was having sex. Sorry if we disturbed you if it’s the latter.”
Dad turned bright red and shook his head.
I rolled my eyes. “I was sleeping, Mom. Only you would ask me if I had sex hair.”
She shrugged. “I’ve said weirder things to you.”
That was the truth.
“So…what ya doing here?” I asked, since they didn’t bother answering my first question.
They both sat down on the couch. “Well we were hoping it would be obvious. We’re here for moral support after what you told me earlier.”
I stared at them. “You came all the way here for moral support?”
Dad chuckled. “It was an hour drive, Ashley. Not like we drove very long to get here.”
“And you sounded really upset over the phone,” Mom added, frowning.
I sighed. “Of course I was upset. They acted like they didn’t give a shit about how I felt. It was…infuriating.”
“Sounds like the Mitchells,” Dad muttered.
Mom patted his hand.
I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms on my chest. “I just don’t understand why he has to be allowed back so soon. It’s not fair. I was so close to being done with this place, and then wham! I get smacked in the face with a big fat fuck you.”
Mom’s expression saddened. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know it couldn’t have been easy seeing him today, but the best thing you can do is ignore him. Maybe you will see him around campus, but I doubt you’ll have any classes together. It’s not like you have to say anything to him either.”
“And if he bothers you, call me,” Dad insisted. “I won’t have him around bothering you.”
I smiled at dad’s protection. He was more overprotective than anything, but it was nice. He was always like that with me when I was younger, but it seemed so much more intense now with Bryn gone. It was like he thought he needed to watch out for me twice as hard like I could just disappear one day.
The thought saddened me.
“I don’t think he will,” I lied. If it meant assuring him that Jayce wouldn’t be a problem, I’d
say anything. I didn’t want either of them worrying about me.
“How are you two holding up with all of this?” I asked, resting my right leg up on the corner of the coffee table.
Mom looked at my brace and frowned.
She wasn’t happy that I didn’t call them as soon as I got hurt, but why bother them with more stress? I almost didn’t tell them about going at all, but the bill would have shown up eventually and mom would have been ten times more upset if she found out that way. I didn’t want to add any extra stress to their lives, because I knew damn well that they were going through the same thing I was.
“We’re doing okay,” Mom said, holding dad’s hand. “We’re more worried about you. We overheard some people talking about Jayce moving around here so he could be closer to campus. He doesn’t have a license so commuting isn’t really an option for him, and no bus route would take him from his house to here.”
Of course he was moving to town.
“He better be getting a dorm room,” I grumbled.
Mom gave me a small smile. “Think positive. There can only be so many bad days before the good ones start happening.”
My mother, the voice of reason.
Dad spoke up saying, “I also want you to make sure you’re locking your doors every time. And check the peephole before you answer.”
I rolled my eyes. “I always lock the door, dad.”
I couldn’t say the same about checking through the peephole though.
“Do you have that baseball bat still?” he asked.
My lips twitched. “It’s by my bed.”
When I decided to move away from home, he insisted on making sure I had some sort of weapon in case the apartment got broken into. The bat wasn’t anything crazy, it was titanium and hollow. But with a good swing, or many, it could take somebody down.
“I doubt I’ll need to use it,” I had told him then. It still applied now, even with Jayce roaming around the area. He was a lot of things, but he never once fixated on me or anyone from what I remember. Unless you counted girls he wanted to sleep with, but they were more than willing to go to him. He never needed to chase anyone down.
Dad looked pleased that I still had it.
The door unlocked and opened, and Tara walked in looking more tired than she usually did. When she saw my parent’s, she smiled and came over to give them each a hug.
A Hard Place to Breathe Page 9