Penelope

by Marilyn Kaye

  “He says I can use the bathroom in his apartment. His roommate’s there. Come with me, okay?”

  I put my hunger on hold and left the room. We took the elevator and got off on the fourth floor.

  “It’s number 4D,” Annie murmured. We reached the right door, and she rang the bell. A few seconds later, the door opened.

  I caught my breath. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even breathe. Max was standing there.

  “Yes?”

  Annie spoke. “Your roommate said my friend here could use your bathroom.”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, okay.”

  Annie pushed me through the door. “Later, girlfriend.” And she took off.

  I just stood there, frozen, feeling like I’d just entered some alternate universe. Max pointed. “Bathroom’s down the hall on the right.”

  “Thanks,” I managed to say. Somehow, I made my legs work and went down the hall. Once inside the bathroom, I closed the door, put the seat down on the toilet, and just sat there for a minute. Then I got up, gripped the sink, and tried to collect my wits. I took deep breaths and raised my eyes to the mirror.

  It was the first time I’d looked at myself since putting on the mask. I couldn’t begin to describe how it felt, seeing myself like that, the way I used to look. The old me. Who’d been the real me. Which I still was, mask or no mask.

  I had no idea how long I stood there, looking at myself, but I must have been in there a while because I heard him call, “You okay in there?”

  I came out and went back into the living room. That was when I noticed the suitcase. “Are you going somewhere?” I asked.

  “I’m moving.”

  My heart plummeted. “Far away?”

  “Nah, just to my own apartment, around the corner. This was just temporary. Lemon let me move in till I got myself pulled together.”

  “And you’re … all pulled together now?”

  He didn’t look at me while he spoke. “Yeah, I’ve got a job.”

  “Doing what?” I asked.

  “I’m with a band.”

  “What do you play?”

  “Piano. Listen, I don’t want to be rude but I’m kind of busy….”

  “Why won’t you look at me?” I blurted out.

  He finally turned in my direction. “Sorry. It’s the mask. I’ve been seeing that mask everywhere today, and it’s getting on my nerves.”

  “What’s wrong with it? Too ugly for you?”

  He shook his head. “It’s not that. It just… it reminds me of someone I used to know.”

  “Someone … someone you cared about?”

  He busied himself with folding a shirt. “Yeah.”

  “A lot?”

  He looked at me sharply. “Yes.”

  I blurted out the next question. “Then why aren’t you with her now?”

  This time he didn’t look away. I had the feeling he couldn’t look away, like his eyes were glued to my face / mask, like he could see through it, like he was searching for something. I was suddenly reminded of the way he’d looked in that mirror in the music room, as if he could see through it to me on the other side.

  I repeated my question, more gently this time. “Why aren’t you with her?”

  “Because … because I wasn’t good enough for her. She deserved better. I couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

  My voice became a whisper. “What did she want?”

  His gaze on me remained steady, penetrating. “To be free.”

  “She’s free now, Max.”

  He moved closer, his eyes filled with wonder. “Penelope?” He put his arms around me, and I was very grateful that the mask didn’t cover my lips. I wouldn’t have been able to feel his kiss.

  “Penelope,” he murmured, his voice choking. “I love you. I always loved you, from the very beginning. But I can’t break the curse.”

  “That’s okay,” I said. I stepped back and took off the mask. “It turns out that I could.”

  He looked like he was in shock.

  “It’s really me, Max.”

  “My name … it’s not Max. It’s Johnny.”

  “I know,” I said. “I’m just not used to it yet. It’s me, Johnny.”

  “Penelope …”

  “Yes, I’m still Penelope.”

  He took me in his arms again.

  “I always was,” I whispered in his ear. “I was always Penelope. I just didn’t know it.”

  “I did,” he said. “I just didn’t think that was enough for you.”

  “I had to learn that it was,” I told him. “That’s what lifted the curse, when I finally accepted myself. I used to think my life was a fairy tale, and I couldn’t be happy until someone came along and turned me into the real Penelope. But I was Penelope all the time, no matter what face I had. And I always will be.”

  He held me tightly, and I could feel magic all around us. And I knew that we would live happily ever after.