Pick Your Pleasure_The Heart's Desire Series

by Hilary Storm

  I snicker, picturing just that, as he leads us toward baggage claim. Oh, Cabot… Not one to be told what to do or equipped with even a reasonable amount of patience, I can easily see him deciding he’s made the last circle he’s going to and slamming the truck into park—anywhere he wants—flipping off security as he comes storming in here, screaming our names.

  It’s a very real possibility; I’ve seen him do much worse… many times.

  Cole’s certainly not what anyone, who knows the definition, would call “mild mannered” himself. He did just part a large crowd as if non-existent, but his edges are a tiny bit smoother than his brother’s.

  Those are my guys, though… Cabot and Cole Keller. My very best friends since junior high, identical twins—both rough, rogue, and irresistible—yet different in several ways... easy to spot, if your eyes are trained… like mine. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about either one of them.

  Cole grabs my suitcase off the carousel, not needing told which it is, and again, finds my hand with his free one and weaves our fingers together. And as always, the gesture brings with it an ache of battle—one half of my heart beating faster while the other remains numb and neutral—a reminder that it’s for the best he doesn’t feel the same kindred, carnal, undeniable perfection that I do Every. Single. Time. he touches me. And though painful to accept, ignore, constantly shove to the very back of my repeatedly battered, split-down-the-middle heart, it is, in fact, an absolute must… because Cabot dazzles and cripples me in the exact same way.

  Identically.

  And there lies the problem.

  I could never choose between them, if it was an option afforded me; which it’s not. I’ve been madly in love with both Keller twins since… well, since the pivotal, life-changing epiphany of what being in love meant finally hit me. Like a Mack truck. Followed closely by the crushing realization that their love for me, while wonderful and boundless, is of a different kind. They think of me as a little sister, a best friend. And even when I’m alone with one of them, be it Cole or Cabot, they both, always, refer to me as “theirs”… just reinforcing the fact that only one of them isn’t a possibility.

  “Hey, you.” Cole jiggles my hand. “Awful quiet. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” I blow out a deep breath, and with it, my futile thoughts. “Just worn out from all the traveling, I guess.”

  “See? That’s why you shouldn’t go leaving us.” He grins, squeezing my hand as we walk outside.

  And sure as the sun will rise, there he waits… every bit as coolly confident as the day I left… Cabot James Keller, leaning against the side of his black Chevy pickup, parked in the clearly-marked yellow zone right in front of the main doors. With his ball cap pulled down low and arms crossed over his barrel of a chest, he’s a sight straight out of the best kind of dreams.

  Déjà vu… double vision… the same sizzle of excitement when my eyes found Cole in the crowd zinging through me once more.

  “Minnow,” Cabot sighs the nickname he’d given me decades ago—refuse to bait your own hook one freakin’ time and you never live it down—his relief resonating. And for the split-second he sets them free, I’m captivated by his sexy smirk and the rare twinkle in his emerald eyes… until he tucks them away, remembering what he thinks he’s supposed to be—“the serious one.”

  And here we go…

  He clears his throat, prepping to toss out some classic “Cabot’s care and concern camouflaged in condescension” in a somber pitch, adjusting his expression to match. “Don’t see anything pierced, tatted, or broken on ya from here; helluva lot better than I was expecting. Guess I oughta be grateful, huh? What happened, somebody finally find sense enough to strap an ankle monitor on that friend of yours? Slow her sorry ass down some?”

  In time-honored tradition, that I’m next to certain he enjoys as much as me, I don’t even flinch at his beat-a-dead-horse surliness, always more than ready to go head-to-head with Cabot Keller. “What, you don’t like Tracy? Why haven’t you ever mentioned it before?” I fight back my smile, batting my eyelashes in mocking, innocent ignorance.

  Cole snorts, ever-amused by our tug-of-war, as he loads up my suitcase. “I’ll be waitin’ in the truck, you know, just twiddling my damn thumbs, whenever y’all are finished.”

  “Funny,” Cabot growls at me, ignoring Cole. “That girl’s a loose cannon, bad influence. Why you’d go visit her beats the hell outta me.”

  “Because, she’s an old friend. And, guess you haven’t been keeping up, but I surpassed the age of being influenced into doing anything I don’t want to several birthdays ago. Besides, getting away from the same ol’ thing every once in a while is refreshing; good for the soul. Speaking of same ol’, didn’t we already have this exact conversation before I left?” I hitch up my brows in saucy challenge and jut out a hip while waiting for his counter.

  Almost there…

  He’ll crack first, he always does, and having not seen me in a week… should be any second now.

  My broody, bossy Cabot’s only weakness? Me.

  “Cole get a hug?” Crack. He begrudgingly changes the subject to what he actually cares about, taking a few steps toward me.

  My lips twitch, dying to smile at his advance of surrender, knowing he’ll bring along the sweet rewards of victory. “Mhmm,” I hum, slowly nodding.

  Another step, putting him close enough now for me to inhale his signature scent of fresh masculinity. “Then why the hell are my arms still empty? You waitin’ on an invitation?”

  “I could ask you the same,” I try to sass right back, falling just a bit shy of sassy with my entranced whisper.

  Something’s… different about Cabot. I haven’t had time to start figuring out what yet, but it’s definitely there—a shift —in him, in us.

  “I don’t need a fucking invitation. You’re my Minnow. I’ll hold you any goddamn time I want.” With one authoritative, sexy as hell move, he hoists me up and snug against his divinely solid body. A big man, my head barely comes to his chin, so he has to lean back in order to peer down at me, making sure I see his cocky grin. “Any objections?”

  “None.” It’s but a breath.

  “Glad to hear it.” That grin grows, his hold on me tightening, as he rests his forehead on mine. “I missed you, Emery.”

  He pauses, his deep breaths felt as though my own, while he searches my eyes… looking for gravity. Verification that I truly understood the weight of his confession.

  I did.

  “Nothin’ felt right without our girl here. Promise me you’re done with the world travelin’, abandoning us.”

  As badly as I want to laugh at his theatrics—I took one trip, in the same country and time zone—deceitful sorrow takes the forefront.

  I can’t bring myself to do it… promise him, or lie straight to his face. So I quickly cover, forging a soft giggle and giving his chest a playful pat. “Cabot Keller, you better watch out. The real you and all your sweetness is starting to show.”

  He hugs me impossibly closer, his mouth finding my ear, warm breath and smoky timbre beckoning goose bumps to cover my body as he whispers, “Only for you, Minnow. I’ll only ever show you.”

  ****

  “You sure you don’t wanna go eat, hang out, something?” Cole pouts, adorably, when we get to my house. “You just got home, Em, and you’re already disappearing again. Gotta say, not likin’ whatever fuckin’ phase this is you’re going through.”

  “Oh, stop,” I laugh. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, bright and early, promise. In fact, how about I make us a big, reunion breakfast? Sound good?”

  “Not as good as a reunion dinner and movie marathon, now, does,” he grouches.

  “Jesus, Cole, enough,” Cabot snaps, shaking his head. “Lady wants to be alone. Accept it, quit your bellyaching, and make yourself useful. Grab her bag while I walk her to the door.”

  “Or, I have a better idea,” Cole sneers, “how about you go fuck yourself?”

 
Funny (except not really funny) thing is, Cabot’s the one most upset right now —but he’d just as soon have his leg chopped off before admitting it. His brooding may be done in silence, but I hear it, feel it, rolling off him in tidal swells. But I’m as used to it as I am their banter, so I leave them to it and go unlock the front door, flipping on a few lights and taking in my quaint little cottage with a whimsical sigh.

  Within seconds, Cole’s right behind me, still grumbling to himself as he sets my things down in the living room. Then, punishing me… in the only way he’s capable, he gives me a tense hug and peck on the cheek… incapable of being anything short of kind and gallant, even when upset. “Welcome home, Em. See ya at breakfast. I’ll be waiting in the truck, again.” And out he stomps.

  “He just missed ya, is all.” Cabot’s deep voice snags my focus from Cole’s pronounced departure back to him. “He’ll be good as new by breakfast.”

  “I know.” I nod. “And you? Mad at me too?”

  “Why would I be? I get it. Been away from your house, your space, stuck on a plane with a bunch of sweaty, smelly strangers; you want a breather. And, knowing you, I’d say… a hot bath, those ugly-ass flower pajamas you love, a book, and your own bed. Am I right?” He can’t help his prideful smirk.

  “Eh, you get an ‘A’ for effort,” I snicker. “I packed those beautiful pajamas, so they’re dirty, and I’m too tired for a book. Excellent try, though.” A low rumble of defeat rattles his chest and I bite down on my laugh—if I goad the beast any further, we’ll be here all night.

  “Lock the door behind me,” he demands, extra sternly… his consolation.

  “I will.”

  “Right behind me.”

  “Yes, Cabot, I know.”

  Chapter Two

  Emery

  I’m not a complete liar—I did take a hot bath, and need a breather—I just couldn’t breathe in my house. Suffocating; the walls closing in… I had to get some fresh air to help me think straight.

  The guys would be furious if they knew I was here right now; alone, at night. But this spot, our spot, under the big oak tree on the creek’s edge is where I’ve always felt the most at peace… and done my best soul-searching.

  Exactly what I need to do, desperately—search to the deepest depths of my soul—and come to absolute certainty with my decision. Examine things from every angle, talk it through out loud, where only the man in the moon and stars can hear me. And just maybe… give me some advice.

  I scoop up a handful of pebbles, tossing one into the water with each thought; kinda like I’m making wishes for wisdom. “If I stay, I’m no worse off. I’ll still have the two best friends a girl could ever hope for, a job I love, and my house, that I adore and finally have paid off,” I reason aloud. “But,” it comes out croaked, the result of a suppressed sob, “I’ll never have anything more than that. And eventually, I won’t just be watching them date, hookup, here and there anymore; I’ll be at their weddings—alone—dying inside.”

  I listen hard, straining to hear any guidance from Mister Moon, a higher being, hell, even the crickets’ input would help… nothing.

  “Yeah, I don’t know the answer either.” My laugh’s sharp and facetious, betraying my lie. I do know, I… I just can’t imagine how I’ll possibly survive if I go through with it. “Sure, I’ll have at least one friend there, Tracy, and chances are, I’ll be able to find a job and apartment pretty easily; maybe even meet a man who’s actually available. But he won’t be them, and I’ll never love him as much. Never.”

  A noise startles me and I whirl my head around to investigate. Why, I don’t know; it’s pitch black out here but for the moonlight. Seeing nothing obvious, I dismiss it as a raccoon or the likes, scavenging for food, and continue my one-woman debate. “Staying here though, pining away for not one, but two men I can’t have,” I sigh, tears pricking at the backs of my eyes, “isn’t healthy. I want to be loved, made love to, have kids, a family. I’m so tired of feeling hollow inside, falling asleep and waking up next to a cold, empty spot in my bed; pretending I don’t see, and ache, when a couple passes by, holding hands.”

  I wipe my tears on my sleeve, then stand, tossing a pebble in the water with my final wish of the night. “I hope time will help me move on, forward, to build a life worth living. Please, watch over my guys for me, Moon Man. They deserve nothing short of pure happiness. And I’ll be praying that they forgive me someday, come to understand why I had to… go. My mind’s made up; I’m leaving.”

  After one long, last look at the spot I’ll always hold dear, I turn to take the first step toward my new future… and scream bloody, scared-shitless murder, all but falling square on my ass.

  “The hell you are,” Cabot, standing behind me for who knows how long, snarls, anger radiating off him.

  “H-how, um, long have y-you guys been standing there,” I stammer, true to the embarrassed fool I feel. Raccoon, Emery? Really? You know they always find you!

  “Longafuckinnough.” It’s Cole’s turn to growl at me, teeth bared and gleaming white in the moonlight. “Over my, our, dead fucking bodies are you going a goddamn place, other than home with us, Emery Elizabeth McCall. Where you belong. Where you’ve always belonged!”

  “What?” I blurt out—all I got—no clue what he actually means by that; as opposed to what I dare not hope he might.

  “What the hell do you-”

  “I got this,” Cabot cuts his twin off mid-sentence, and Cole easily concedes, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose before throwing both hands in the air with a yelled, “Have at it, ‘cause I… can’t with her right now!”

  Cabot slowly approaches, reminiscent of a lion closing in on his prey, and I counter each of his steps with one of my own… backward. He smirks, clearly devilish and cunning, despite the darkness. “Couple more and you’ll be in the water. Go ahead and give up now, Minnow. Save yourself from getting all wet and cold, ‘cause you know I’ll just come in after ya there too.”

  And he will, so I stop moving, being wet and cold sounding miserable... and yes, pointless. “Okay, I’m standing still, Bossy. Now will you at least tell me how much you heard, what you’re most upset about, something, anything, and quit coming at me all scary-like?” He says nothing, a dark rumble rising from deep in his chest and echoing off the trees the only sound, so I quickly switch tactics. “Cole,” I call out for him in shaky desperation, wherever he is, my eyes staying trained on Cabot. “Will you please come help me reason with your Neanderthal brother? I would’ve told you guys before I left! We can discuss things now if you want; calmly. Cole? Cole, answer me!”

  “Right here,” he rasps in my ear, having popped out of nowhere, imprinting his rigid, sturdy frame on my back while gripping my hips. “Like how I snuck up on ya?” I shake my head, yet a shiver of yes runs through me, my body responding without permission. “Yeah, not a huge fan of things sneaking up on me either. Say, for instance, when I have to cat-burglar my ass through the woods to ‘A’, see if you’re here, versus kidnapped, and ‘B’, find out via your conversation with whoever the hell you were talking to, damn sure wasn’t us, that the woman I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember loves me too! So much so, that she’s planning on running from me! Not. Happy. Em,” he grates, albeit a delicious kind of angry, nipping my earlobe for panty-melting emphasis.

  Wait… pause on the panty melting… rewind. What’d he just say?

  Heart palpitations of realization aside, I whirl around to face him, adrenaline supplying me the strength to power past his hold on my hips. “Cole?” The quivering therein louder than my scared whisper itself—worried beyond measure that I heard him wrong, misunderstood, or am currently dreaming. “Did you say-”

  “That I love you?” He reaches up to cup my cheek, his thumb stroking soft caresses on my skin. “Yes. Hell, yes. Finally. And now that I really have your attention, I’ll tell you again. I. Love. You, Emery. I’ve loved you every minute of every day since the one I me
t you. I never told you because, turns out, just like you… I was afraid you didn’t feel the same, and I couldn’t risk scaring you off, losing you altogether. But,” his voice flips from sincere to incensed, “unlike you, I’ve never considered running, living a single damn day without you in my life in whatever way I could have you. Some fucked up shit, Em.” His eyes narrow as he shakes his head.

  Instant, hot tears free fall, flowing down my cheeks—some in elation, most though, in debilitating fear. I’m terrified to turn around, to see Cabot’s face, finish this lose-lose battle once and for all. While Cole’s half of my heart is soaring, the other half, that has and will forever belong to Cabot, is painfully, palpably, breaking.

  This. This is why I’ve loved in silent secrecy all these years. Because I won’t accept, or openly return, Cole’s love. I can’t. Not when I love Cabot just as much. Thus, the first “lose.” And if, when I turn, Cabot congratulates us, confirming that he doesn’t “love” me too… there’s the other “lose.” But now that Cole’s put it out there, currently hanging over us with unbearable weight, I have to face his brother.

  I take my time pivoting, and even longer to meet Cabot’s intense stare; my knees weak, a new batch of tears threatening to spill over and my stomach violently churning. Cole bands his arms around my waist from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder —somehow managing to give comfort while simultaneously compounding the awkwardness—but I allow it, severely in need of the former.

  “Minnow?” Cabot asks me… something… his tone, hooded eyes, and slightly curled lip all unreadable. At a loss how to answer that which I don’t understand, I opt for silence. “Come ‘ere.” That voice I recognize, just as easily as the crook of his finger and wink, beckoning me to where I’m already headed.