Behind Blue Eyes

by TL Schaefer

  I heard the steady thump of his heart beneath my ear, drew in the scent that was uniquely his, and it quelled my fear. He might not be right about tomorrow, but today was going to be fine. Better in fact.

  I disentangled myself from his arms and pulled out my key card. With everything that had happened over the last thirty hours, somehow I’d kept it, as if I knew I’d be returning. Maybe my subconscious had recognized that there was more to be gained by coming home to Brian than by running away again.

  Then all thoughts of yesterday, today and tomorrow were thrust away as the door clicked open and Brian drew me into the murky depths of the room. He framed my face in his hands, as if memorizing me in the dark. His head dipped, and his lips covered mine. We were slow, careful now, both of us realizing the weight and importance of what we were doing.

  His hands slipped down my flanks as mine rose to tangle in his hair. Our tongues touched, unhurried, as we explored each other fully. Then my flimsy little dress was being lifted over my head and the air conditioning whispered over my bared breasts, bringing my nipples to point. I shivered, not from the cool air, but from the heated passion in Brian’s eyes. In the semi-dark, they almost glowed with intensity, a searing blue that singed down to the basest part of my psyche.

  Today there would be no sexy talk because none was needed. Words were meaningless when I could see the depth of his feeling in those amazing eyes.

  I sat on the bed, clad only in the lacy white thong the salesgirl had talked me into and watched as he stripped his tie away, followed by his shirt. His bare chest made my mouth go dry, then my whole body went on alert as he shucked his slacks and boxers (stars and stripes this time). His cock was exactly at my eye level. I licked my lips and leaned forward, running my tongue across the tip. He groaned, a harsh, guttural sound of anticipation that made me pulse with excitement.

  Grasping him firmly, I laved his crown and worked my hand until he was bucking against me in sharp little jerks. Then he pulled away and fumbled in his slacks for a condom, his breathing choppy.

  I slid out of my panties, already slick and ready. He covered me with his body, and his weight was something I welcomed, something I’d missed without even realizing it. Our lips met in a long, blistering kiss as he slid inside me with delicious friction. I wrapped my legs around his ass, my arms around his neck, and lunged against him, desperate to feel all of him around me, inside me.

  Our tongues mimicked the movements of our bodies, thrust and withdraw, slide and release. The pace built until I was glued to his frame, breath heaving in my lungs. And through it all his eyes held me, burning with light, with love.

  I felt myself unraveling, and my lids slid closed, fireworks screaming in my vision, in my ears. I gave myself over to his touch, his loving. Brian thrust into me again and then we both fell into ecstasy, shouting our release.

  I lay next to Brian, idly running my finger over his bicep as he slept. Despite the incredible way he made me feel, I was back to being scared again. Scared that the beauty of what we shared, both in and out of bed, would be ripped away. The possibility of it came from more than the threat Wes posed. It also lay in Farrell, because even if he was truthful about me returning to my old life, that life would be irrevocably changed now that I knew about CASI’s real purpose, now that the possibility of helping people like me existed. Where would that leave Brian and me?

  As much as I said I wanted to resume my old life, I couldn’t see myself returning to it, couldn’t distance myself again the way I had for so many years.

  With that thought I knew my time of lying to myself was over. I didn’t want to go back to the way things had been. I wanted it all...to be with Brian and to help CASI and the Meece Foundation. I wanted to live life fully, taste it with the passion I’d denied myself for so many years.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” Brian rumbled.

  I looked up and found him regarding me with a little smile, his eyes intent on mine.

  “I’m going to help Farrell, and not just with Wes.” There, I’d said it out loud. There was no going back unless I wanted to look like a complete liar.

  He smiled and pulled me onto his chest, then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I never had any doubt you would, once everything was out in the open.”

  “Do you trust Farrell?”

  “As much as I trust anyone with that much of an agenda,” he replied wryly, still toying with my hair. “What did you get from him?”

  “Almost fanatical belief. He said he’d given his word to see CASI a success, and he’ll do it if it kills him. Same thing with Trang, even though he’s a Null.”

  “Any idea why?”

  “Besides the whole step-father angle? Nope. He was being up front with us ninety-nine percent of the time, but I can’t read his past, or his real intent. I don’t know him well enough for that yet. Not sure I want to.”

  Brian chuckled. “I’m with you there, babe.” Then he turned serious. “There’s only one way to do it, you know,” he said, and I could feel him watching me carefully, as if weighing how his words would impact me.

  “How?” I thought I knew, but wanted to see if we were on the same wavelength.

  “It has to be you, me and Trang. Burke will be able to anticipate what anyone else does.”

  He was right, but I didn’t have to like it, and I told him so.

  “Sara, you may be the key to stopping Burke, but that doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Now we have to find him.”

  I sat up and looped my arms around my knees. “Farrell can help us with that. I know he’s going to be in Colorado, but not exactly where or why. With Meece’s resources, finding out the where should be pretty easy.”

  “And the why?”

  I laid my head on my knees. “He’s going to be there for a reason. Figuring that out is going to be the tough part.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Before

  My first year in Dallas was spent living hand to mouth and keeping my head down. I washed dishes and any other work I could find that was under the table. Lived at the Y at first, and then on the streets when I’d overstayed my welcome.

  Could CASI have found me? Maybe, but I thought I was far enough away to be safe.

  I found a reasonably comfortable spot beneath an overpass, and after the first few months of defending it against the other homeless people with a switchblade I’d picked up in a pawn shop, I was left alone.

  One day I walked into the same pawn shop and saw a Nikon sitting there like a gift. I don’t know what drew me to it, only that I had to have it. I shelled out fifty dollars I couldn’t afford, walked outside and pulled it to my eye.

  The world around me instantly muted. I drew in a sharp breath and lowered the camera. Immediately the colors and auras around me intensified, almost to the point where it was painful. Amazed, I repeated my actions three or four times, and each instance was the same.

  Two weeks later I had a pair of glasses with enough tint to make them look like shades, and a prescription that mirrored the lens in my camera. Now if only I could find a way to make a living using both.

  Now—Sunday, 3:00 p.m.

  Apparently Davis’s set of rooms wasn’t grand enough for Farrell. He’d commandeered the high roller’s suite, and the electronic paraphernalia made it look like the pictures I’d seen of the Air Force’s Strategic Command Center at Cheyenne Mountain. Seriously.

  Brian and I settled into the chairs placed around the conference table. I tried not to looked too stunned, but didn’t think I succeeded very well. Brian just looked discomfited. I could understand that. As a cop and former military man, he was used to taking charge. Here, Farrell obviously held the upper hand.

  We were the only part of my crew in the room, but Farrell had obviously brought some of his personal guard along to play, because four dark-suited men who held themselves like Pardo were stationed at the doors on both ends of the room. Trang sat in front of a miniscule laptop, tapping the keys furiously.

/>   “Sara, Detective.” Farrell crossed the room and settled into the chair next to me. I could feel his scrutiny of Brian and me, and it didn’t bother me one little bit that both of us looked about a thousand percent more relaxed. Let him draw what inferences he wanted.

  “Farrell.” Brian gave him a short nod and settled back in his chair, clearly letting me take the lead.

  “I’ll help you go after him, but we’ve got to figure out where he’ll be first.” I described what I’d “seen” behind Wes, the wide, yawning chasm, the spindly looking bridge. As I spoke, Trang was busy entering the information into a laptop. He pushed back.

  “Should only take a few minutes,” he said.

  “You’ve never clarified your alliance, or lack thereof, with the government,” Brian said, still appearing to be relaxed and going with the flow.

  “Nothing official. I quit the NSA five years ago to run Meece. Because of my background we exchange information and personnel as needed,” Farrell said, clearly having no problem sharing. But there’d been a spike in his aura when I described the bridge. To me it looked like worry. “Burke working for the FBI was Green’s doing. The man had a serious power complex. Doesn’t surprise me that Burke offed him.”

  I felt myself nodding. I’d been a part of the good doctor’s power plays for two long years. He would see putting Wes into the FBI as the ultimate in keeping his finger in the pie.

  “I can’t believe he stopped with Wes, especially if he had a roomful of talented children to pick and choose from.”

  “Like I said before, he disappeared off the map and so did Burke. We had no idea he was even with Green until he showed up at our door. The body you saw being removed was identified as Dave Gordon.”

  Ah damn. I hadn’t liked Dave—at all—but I’d never wanted him dead. Just gone. Or at least leaving me alone. I wondered if Carl, the orderly from so many years ago, the man who’d first lusted after me, then saved my life, had lied to me. But as I thought back, his aura and his eyes belied his truthfulness. He’d been used and abused, like me and Wes and Dave. Like so many others. By Green and the others like him. I hoped Wes had made Green suffer. A lot.

  “Got it,” Trang broke in. “Royal Gorge, Colorado.” He swiveled the laptop toward us, and on the monitor I saw exactly what I’d seen in Wes’s intent.

  “That’s it. How’d you find it so fast?”

  “Satellite topography program. Plus, you knew it was Colorado, so that narrowed it down a ton. Nearest metro with a real airport is Colorado Springs, and Canon City is the closest burg.”

  Farrell turned to his cadre. “I was afraid of this. I know exactly where he is. Get Davis and Foudy up here, double-time,” he addressed one man, then turned to Trang. “Have the jet warmed up and log a flight plan for Colorado Springs. Suburbans at the airport. Go through the Feds to alert the locals that we’ll be there, and why.”

  “Whoa.” I stood and held out a cautioning hand. “I agree with everything you’ve said, but we need to nail this down first before we go charging in there. There are things that need to be considered.”

  Farrell eyed me, obviously not so pleased I’d interrupted his battle plan. “What things?”

  “I’ll explain when Davis and Foudy are here.” He started to speak, and I shook my head. “Not until then.” I sat and felt the warmth of Brian’s approval.

  If we were going to work together, Farrell had better learn up front that no one pushed me around.

  While we killed time waiting for Davis and Foudy, I scanned the CASI and Meece background information Trang had obligingly provided. It was pretty much everything Farrell had said. Hugh Meece had been an upstanding, brilliant man, survived by his step-son, a mover and shaker within the National Security Agency, and a socialite daughter who’d shown no interest in the “family business” whatsoever and now apparently owned about half of Colorado and a good bit of Wyoming. The scandal Wes and I had caused was covered in detail, and obviously not the data given to the press. CASI had imploded, the Feds coming down on them like the wrath of God. The children I’d known were quietly returned to their parents, a hefty settlement from the Meece Foundation ensuring their silence. Not that any of the other children had been through what Wes and I had, at least not from what I remembered, or what I saw in the printout. Farrell had been on the up-and-up about everything, and even though he could have fed me a ration of crap, nothing about what I read struck me as false. I was a skeptic about pretty much everything in life, but in this case, my heart told me we were traveling the right, just road.

  Ten minutes later we were all gathered around the table. I didn’t see any reason to sugarcoat anything, so dove right in.

  “While we can all go to Colorado Springs, only Brian, Trang and I can actually confront him.”

  “Screw that,” Foudy said as her aura pulsed furiously. “We’ve all been in this from the start except for the wunderkinds here.” She threw a distrustful glance at Farrell. “We stick together.”

  “We can’t.” I tried to make my tone sympathetic, but I’m pretty sure it came out irritated. I understood where she was coming from on a deeper level. This wasn’t about turf, but seeing the job done. But men like Farrell and Trang would only see this mission as the first. There was nothing to be done for that, not if we were going to get a move on. As much as Monica pissed me off, at the end of the day she simply wanted to right as many wrongs as she could.

  “Wes will be able to anticipate you all. With me, it’s only folks I know well, or things that directly impact me, and only when I’m scared to death. I couldn’t begin to figure out what Farrell or Trang are going to do next because the variables for me to apply that talent aren’t there. Maybe, given time, but not now. But Wes is different. He’s had years to hone his gift, used it for the Feds, for God’s sake. He’d be able to see every one of you, with your animosity or fervor coming a mile away. I have to go. I’m the bait. But Trang is a Null, like Brian. Wes won’t be able to read them. And I doubt he’ll be able to see much of me simply because I’ve changed so much in the last ten years. He’ll be expecting a child, but will get an adult.”

  “She’s right, you know.” This came from Simpson, who’d appeared as if summoned, though no one had called him. “Providing you believe in any of this stuff, which is pushing it.”

  Farrell pushed away from the table in disgust. I almost had to look to see his aura. I’d become so used to functioning without my glasses I only noticed when people fluctuated now.

  As he paced, I considered this development. If I was acclimating myself to auras in general, had I been doing more than hiding behind my camera? Had I been hiding behind my glasses as well? I was afraid it was true. I shook my head in shame.

  “Sara?” Brian was right next to me, his voice low and concerned.

  “Nothing, just had a lightbulb moment about myself. Nothing that concerns us in the here and now.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell you about it later.” In that moment I realized, really realized, how much Brian had come to mean to me. He was more than a skillful lover. He’d become my sounding board, and to an extent, the conscience I thought I’d left behind in Colorado ten years ago. It wasn’t fair that I’d found something so real in such a horrible time. Hadn’t I already paid my dues?

  Farrell broke into my little pity party. “We’ll talk more about this on the plane. I’m still not one hundred percent sure you’re right, but it’s something to consider.”

  An interminably long hour later we were in the air for the sixty-minute flight to Colorado Springs. The plane was straight-up Fortune 500—leather seats, a steward, the whole nine yards. Throughout the flight I watched Farrell and Davis hash out the intricacies of the plan. At this point there didn’t seem to be much of one.

  I sat back and observed them, keeping Foudy in my line of sight. Something was wrong with her; her aura was tinged with worry and hopelessness, as if she could see something we didn’t. It was more than having Fa
rrell around, a man she obviously didn’t care for. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and slid into the empty seat next to her.

  She looked up sharply. I’d obviously pulled her out of deep thought.

  “What’s wrong?” I kept my voice low. “Your aura is all jacked up.”

  “Nothing,” she sounded tired, not at all her usual snappish self. “Why were you even looking?”

  “I only notice now when someone changes or unless I really look. Guess I’m getting used to it. You seem preoccupied.”

  “Shouldn’t I be? I mean, my best friend is heading into an unknown situation, we’re neck-deep in shadowy organizations and I’ve now officially started to believe in the paranormal.”

  She was saying it to get a laugh out of me, but it wasn’t working. There was more. “Good try, Monica. I know we’re not friends or confidantes, but if you need an ear, I’m here, all right?”

  I stood, and she caught my arm. “Thanks, Covington. I’m not ready to talk about it, okay?”

  I nodded. “You’re important to Brian, and even though you’re a crusty broad, you’ve started growing on me. And you’ve got a wicked right hook.” I rubbed my jaw dramatically.

  She laughed, a short bark of sound that drew everyone’s attention. “I could say the same about you.”

  I moved back to my seat next to Brian and buckled myself in.

  “What was that all about?” he asked, almost worried.

  “Nothing, just a little girl time,” I snuggled against his shoulder. We should have been sitting with Farrell and Davis, strategizing, but right now I wanted to soak Brian in.

  I wasn’t being fatalistic, just realistic. By the end of this, one of us could very well be dead or bleeding, and I wanted to cement his scent, the texture of him, in case.

  If it would have made a difference, I’d have tricked him into staying behind, but Wes would take one look at me and be able to see I had someone important in my life that I was protecting. Given what he’d done to Farrell, he’d turn his sights on Brian next, and there was no way in hell I was going to let that happen. Ever. Our best bet was to confront him as a team and hope like hell Trang and Brian’s Nullness was enough to tip the scales in our favor.