Lost Down Deep

by Sara Davison

  “I think so.” He brushed the last of the flakes off the top of the stone. Goodbye, Tessa. Sadness coiled through his chest, but he straightened his shoulders as he followed Cash to the truck.

  They drove in silence for a few minutes, until Cash shot him a sideways glance. “I’ve got time now.”

  “For what?”

  “That long, complicated story you mentioned.”

  “Ah.” Jude rested his head against the back of the seat. He’d had dinner with his family twice more since the night Cash had barbequed, but he and his brother hadn’t had an opportunity to delve any deeper into his relationship with the woman he’d met in the coffee shop that day. Although his family had welcomed him back, insisted they had long forgiven him, he and Cash still circled each other a little when they were together. Feeling each other out like boxers at the start of a round, not yet locking in and tackling in earnest all that lay between them, everything they had missed in each other’s lives the last five years. Maybe it was time.

  He shifted to face his brother. “All right. The name of the woman I met that day is Summer Velásquez and she’s the most amazing person I know. I pretty much knew from the first moment I saw her that she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. For the last two and a half years, we’ve spent every spare minute together. And six months ago, I asked her to marry me.”

  Cash’s eyes widened. “Really. What did she say?”

  “Remarkably, she said yes.”

  “Huh. So far this doesn’t sound that complicated.”

  “Hold on. That part’s coming.” Jude straightened in his seat. How could he put this so he didn’t come across like a complete idiot? He contemplated that for a moment and realized he couldn’t. “At first, I was over the moon. We started making plans and I was counting the days until she was my wife. Then I got thinking.”

  “Never a good idea.”

  “No kidding. I started going over and over my past and how much it had messed me up. All I could think about was how I didn’t want to ruin Summer’s life like I had Tessa’s, or force her to wade through the garbage I still wrestled with every day. The closer we got to the wedding date, the more I panicked.”

  Cash signaled and turned at the next corner, heading back to town. “What did you do?”

  “A week before we were supposed to get married, I went to her place and told her I still wanted to marry her, but that I needed more time to figure out everything in my head.” The conversation they’d had that night, in Summer’s house, flashed through his mind. Every word he’d said came back to him, crawling over his skin and biting into his flesh as though he’d stepped into a nest of angry fire ants. Yep. He’d been an idiot. No two ways about it. And the next day someone had broken into her house and nearly killed her.

  He clenched his fists on his knees, still not able to even think about that.

  Cash looked over at him. “Did she understand?”

  Jude let out a short, humorless laugh. “No, I think it’s safe to say she did not understand. She was furious and told me that if I still had doubts at that point, there was no sense in us even thinking about a future together. Tried to give me back my ring, although I refused to take it. Then she kicked me out of the house.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, it was pretty bad. I tossed and turned all night, castigating myself before deciding I had to go back the next day. Blame it on cold feet, recant everything I had said, and tell her that, even though I still had stuff to work through, I wanted to be with her. I had to be with her. And hope and pray she would listen and agree to take me back.”

  When he didn’t speak for a few seconds, Cash lifted a hand. “And?”

  Jude swallowed. “Before I could, someone broke into her home and attacked her.”

  Cash wheeled his truck over onto the shoulder of the road. Shifting the vehicle into park, he turned to face Jude, his face grave. “Did he rape her?”

  The first thought he’d had too. The one that had paralyzed him. “No, thank God. He beat her up pretty good though and shoved her down the stairs.”

  “But she lived.”

  “Yes, but she was badly injured. Brain trauma. For two weeks she was in a coma.”

  “And you stayed by her side.”

  “I didn’t, actually.” Jude rubbed his hand across his forehead. “I never even got to see her. Her parents, who hated me from the start because I wasn’t Mexican and had done everything they could to keep us apart, wouldn’t let me anywhere near her. Somehow her father knew about the fight we’d had and he threatened to tell the police I was the one who attacked her if I tried to see her. When she did wake up, she had no memory of the last seven years or so, so even if she heard I’d tried to get in, she wouldn’t have known who I was so she wouldn’t have stood up to them on my behalf.”

  Cash slumped against the seat. “Okay, I’ll give you complicated. When did all this happen?”

  “She was attacked on January third. Woke up from her coma on the twentieth, and left the hospital February second. The plan had been for her parents to take her to their place, but the night before she was supposed to be released into their care, she fled to Elora.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m guessing because a police officer came to see her in the hospital that evening and told her the guy who’d attacked her was still out there somewhere. She likely hoped this would be a safe place to hide out until the police could track down the person who did this.”

  “Huh.”

  “What?”

  “Given that you’re guessing all of this, I take it you still haven’t talked to her?”

  “Actually, I have. A few times. But she doesn’t know me.”

  “And you haven’t told her who you are.”

  He shrugged. “She’s been through a lot of trauma. I don’t want to add to it in any way. Besides, I keep hoping, if we spend time together, it will come back to her.”

  “Define ‘spend time together’.”

  When Jude didn’t answer, Cash straightened. “You’re dating her, aren’t you?”

  “We’ve gone out a couple of times.”

  “Have you kissed her?”

  Jude rubbed a thumb over a small coffee stain on the arm rest.

  His brother studied him. “Given the other vices you’ve stopped indulging in, I’m assuming you haven’t slept with her.”

  His head jerked. “Of course not.”

  “Okay, easy. I’m trying to fully assess the situation.”

  And me. God, help him to see you when he looks at me.

  Cash shook his head. “From what you’ve told me, this woman doesn’t appreciate people keeping things from her. Why wouldn’t you tell her?”

  “Like I said, her parents hate me. Her father informed me that he told Summer I was the one who attacked her. If that’s true and I tell her who I am, she’ll go on the run again. I think it will be a lot easier on her if she regains her memory on her own.”

  “And if she doesn’t, you’ll still win, won’t you?”

  “Meaning?”

  “If you can get her to fall in love with you again, but not remember what an a—” Cash cleared his throat, “a moron you were the night you told her you weren’t ready to marry her, that leaves you in better shape than before, doesn’t it?”

  Heat surged through Jude’s chest. “Are you suggesting it was a good thing for me that the woman I love was attacked and nearly murdered in her home?”

  “No, of course not.” Cash’s voice softened. “I’m only trying to get you to admit that your reasons for not telling her the truth might be more about you than her.”

  Jude blew out a breath, his chest cooling a little. “Oh.” Had Cash gotten a lot wiser over the years, or had Jude forgotten how perceptive his brother was?

  Cash tugged a pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket and tapped one onto his palm. Jude stared at it. As much as he got the appeal, he didn’t like seeing his brother smoking. With all the stuff Cash s
aw at work, how could he still do it?

  Cash tossed the pack onto the dash. “You’re right.”

  “Statistically, it had to happen at some point.” Jude lifted a hand into the air, palm up. “About what?”

  His brother held up the cigarette. “I shouldn’t be smoking. And actually,” he grabbed the pack and shoved the cigarette into it before tossing it back on the dash, “I’ve been thinking about quitting. I figure if you can do it, I certainly can.”

  “That’s likely true. Although, I still have to take it day by day. Giving up smoking was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, other than walking away from my family and then going through all this with Summer.”

  Cash shook his head. “Man, I thought Renee and I had problems.”

  Jude frowned. “Why, what’s wrong with you two?” Cash and Renee had been together since high school.

  “Another long and complicated story. Let’s deal with the romantic problems of one McCall brother at a time, shall we?” He glanced at the pack of cigarettes. Jude reached for it and shoved it into the inside pocket of his jacket. “Don’t want you falling prey to temptation now.”

  “You know I can take those away from you any time I want.”

  “I know.”

  Cash smiled grimly as he put the truck into gear and drove onto the road. “Do they have any leads on who might have attacked her?”

  “I don’t think so. I know a guy on the force, and I’m keeping in touch with him, but he says they don’t have anything solid at this point.”

  “I’d like to meet her.”

  “You would?”

  “Of course.”

  Jude pondered the idea. Could they pull it off? “We wouldn’t be able to tell her you’re my brother.” Other than keeping yet another thing from her, that shouldn’t be too much of an issue. Like Maddie, Cash took after their father with his dark hair and blue eyes, while Jude’s sandy-brown hair and hazel eyes came from their mother’s side. They didn’t look all that much alike, really. He and Tessa had resembled each other a lot more, enough that people often mistook them for twins, even though he’d been almost three years older.

  Cash shrugged. “Whatever. I don’t have as much to lose as you do if and when she finds out you’ve added one more lie to your list.”

  Jude hunched down in his seat and crossed his arms. “I’m not lying to her—I just haven’t exactly been giving her the whole truth.”

  “Or any of it.”

  “That’s not true. A lot of what I’ve said to her is right. I even told her I’ve only swept one woman off her feet and when she asked where that woman was now, I said she’d forgotten all about me.”

  Cash’s eyebrows rose. “Sounds like a dangerous game you’re playing.”

  “It’s not a game to me. None of this is.”

  His brother clasped Jude’s forearm. “I know it isn’t.” He returned his hand to the steering wheel.

  Jude looked out the window, concentrating on the mailboxes sailing by, the snow-covered fields broken only by the odd dead corn stalk or tree stump. “You’d have to call me Ryan,” he mumbled, his cheeks warming. “Ryan Taylor.”

  When Cash didn’t respond, Jude braced himself and turned to him. A smirk had crossed his brother’s face. “Anything else I need to know?”

  He sighed. “Summer’s going by Ana Santos here in town.”

  “Of course she is.” Cash rolled his eyes. “I think I might need a cheat sheet. Can I still be Cash?”

  “You better be. You haven’t been away from town for the last few years. I’m sure that any females we run into or who overhear us talking will know who you are.”

  The smirk disappeared. “What are you talking about?”

  “Oh, come on. Have you seen yourself? You don’t exactly blend into the background. I’m sure there’s been a spike in women calling 911 since you became an EMT in town. In fact, if I was a betting man, I’d wager that’s one of the issues you and Renee have, am I right?”

  Cash didn’t answer.

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “Anyway,” his brother drew out the word, “can I meet this Summer, or Ana, or whoever she is?”

  “I guess you can, if you really want to. She works at the Taste of Heaven Café downtown.”

  “Okay, Friday’s my next day off. I’ll pick you up at nine and we’ll have breakfast there. All right?”

  “Sure.” Jude focused on the road ahead of them as they drove across the bridge and into Elora. Was it all right? It was a small town, and his brother knew where Summer worked now. Even if Jude changed his mind about taking Cash there, he couldn’t stop him from going any more than he could stop him from taking back his cigarettes if he wanted to.

  Besides, part of him really wanted Cash to meet Summer. Cash’s opinion meant a lot to him. After all the mistakes Jude had made the last five years, he had a long way to go in earning back his brother’s trust and respect. And maybe meeting the incredible woman whose heart he had won once, and hoped to again, would be a good first step in that journey.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Summer followed Nancy into the one small grocery store in town. Nancy had slung a basket over one arm, and she glanced back at Summer. “What are you thinking for supper?”

  Summer lifted her shoulders. “It’s my turn to cook. If we get corn, potatoes, and chicken, I could make sancocho, which is a kind of stew.”

  “Mmm. Stew sounds good. It’s freezing out there.”

  The temperature had definitely dropped the night before. The short-lived warm spell, the hint that spring wasn’t that far off, had ended abruptly as the mercury plunged. The idea of a pot of hot, thick stew bubbling on the stove was definitely appealing.

  Nancy nodded to the butcher shop at the back of the store. “You get the corn and potatoes, and I’ll grab a package of chicken.”

  “Sounds good.” Summer stood and watched her landlady for a moment. Almost everyone she passed by greeted her or stopped to chat with her. Summer grinned. It might be awhile before she saw Nancy again, since pretty much everyone in town seemed to know her. Warmth rushed through her chest. How had she been fortunate enough to end up in the home of this amazing woman? She’d only known Nancy a few weeks, but it already felt like a lifetime. Her landlady filled a hole in her heart that Summer hadn’t been entirely aware she’d had.

  She had never been close to her mother. She’d tried, over and over, to win her affection, to hug her and tell her she loved her, but her mother couldn’t seem to receive it. It was as though she had erected a wall around her heart, a barrier to anyone getting close to her. If she had been hurt in the past, or harbored some kind of fear of intimacy because of something that had happened in her life, she’d never shared that with Summer.

  Her father hadn’t shown much interest in her either. Summer had wondered often why they stayed together, or why they had ever had a child, as neither seemed to have any need for the companionship of family. Or any other people, come to think of it. Their home had been more of a fortress than anything, and rather than loved or cared for, what she’d felt most growing up was guarded. And not in a good way, like a priceless treasure. More like a prisoner.

  She shrugged off the moroseness that threatened to settle around her and wandered down the aisle between the freezers that lined both sides. Past a hundred different kinds of pizzas in colorful boxes and every type of frozen potato imaginable until she reached the bags of vegetables. Her hands were still chilled from being outside, so she contemplated the options, choosing the one she wanted before opening the door, grabbing it, and closing the door again quickly.

  Tossing it into the black plastic basket she’d grabbed at the door, she made her way around the end of the aisle to the produce section. Summer studied the potatoes, stacked like sand bags on the shore of a threateningly high body of water. She decided on a bag of Yukon Golds which, contrary to their name, had actually been created at a university half an hour from Elora, according to Nancy. M
ight as well support the local economy and ingenuity. She reached for the bag.

  “Excuse me.”

  Her attention shifted to a man standing a few feet away, holding a vase filled with miniature pink roses.

  “If you were mine, would you appreciate getting something like this for a gift?”

  Her skin crawled. If she was his what? The man had short dark hair and a neatly trimmed beard. He was tall, well over six feet, with a long, dark wool coat draped over broad shoulders. His handsome face was marred only by a slightly crooked nose. Something about the way he presented himself—with a self-assurance that bordered on cockiness—made him appear out of place in the small town. The way he was looking at her raised all kinds of red flags in her mind.

  Better not to engage. Summer waved a hand lightly. “It’s lovely.” She lifted a two-pound bag of potatoes into her basket and turned away.

  A crashing sound spun her back around. The man had dropped the vase and it had shattered on the cement floor. Red-tinged water flowed in tiny rivulets in all directions. He contemplated the mess for a moment before looking up. His dark eyes locked on hers. “Beautiful things are so easily broken, aren’t they, chica?”

  Chills skittered across her flesh. Summer tore her gaze from his. I need to get out of here. Without a word, she whirled around and strode toward the far side of the store where she hoped she would find Nancy. When she spotted the back of her landlady’s head of red hair halfway down the baking aisle, her muscles relaxed a little and she hurried to join her.

  Nancy smiled when Summer came alongside her, but her smile quickly disappeared and she tipped her head to one side. “What’s wrong?”

  Summer blinked. “Nothing, why?”

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “I do?” She pressed the back of her hand to one cheek. Her skin felt cool and clammy beneath her fingers. “I’m fine.” She grasped the handle of the basket with both hands. “I had kind of a weird encounter with someone, that’s all.”

  Nancy’s eyes narrowed. “Who?”

  “Some guy. No one I’ve seen before.”

  “What did he say?”