Misadventures with a Manny

by Toni Aleo

  Riana cuts a look to me. “You were married.”

  I twist my lips in dissatisfaction. “Wow. Guess I’ll never get my chance with him.”

  Riana grins. “Why not?”

  “If he’s as good as you’re saying, I can’t risk ruining it for some hot sex,” I whisper as I watch him wrap his arm around Charlie, squeezing him as they laugh.

  “Ah, I disagree.”

  “What? How?”

  “Hey, I understand what you’re saying, but jeez, Vera, you haven’t had a good time with someone since before Simon cheated on you the first time. You’re due.”

  I consider that, but while I agree, I know that it is all a long shot. “None of this matters.”

  She makes a face. “Why?”

  “Because it isn’t like he wants me like that anyway,” I say, holding my hand out to him. “I mean, look at him. Greek god. Look at that ass, Riana.”

  She giggles. “Now that you point it out, it’s hard to look at anything else.”

  “Exactly! Then look at me, pudgy, middle-aged mom.”

  She rolls her eyes so hard I’m worried they’ll get lost in the back of her head. “Oh, for the love of God. You just turned thirty-one, and you aren’t pudgy, you’re curvy.”

  “Middle-aged, baby,” I say simply. “Curvy is what skinny girls say to fat girls to make them feel better.”

  “They do not!” she says, throwing her hands up. “You’re so dramatic.”

  Smacking her, I laugh, but before I can tell her to shut up, I hear, “I’ve been saying that for years.”

  Ugh. Simon’s voice makes my skin crawl. Kaia is on his arm.

  Riana, always her lovely self, makes a face. “No one is talking to you.”

  “Ah, don’t be mean, little sis. I came to say hi. Look at you, all big and glowing.”

  She glares before looking over at me. “I can’t stab him, can I?”

  I shake my head. “He’s the boys’ father.”

  “Small complications,” she says before crossing her arms and looking at the field. I want to do the same, but before I can, he says, “So funny story.” I doubt it’s gonna be funny at all, but I listen as he goes on. “Kaia told me about the man at your house when she came to pick the boys up—”

  “Did she tell you she came extremely early? I had just walked into the house. Next time, call.”

  He ignores me, going on. “And I was like, wow, that’s good. She’s moving on, but then we find out you hired him to nanny our boys.”

  Riana turns in her seat, glaring up at him. “So? You aren’t helping in any way.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I’m their father.”

  “So? He’s a good guy, a friend of Phillip’s.”

  “So? I didn’t hire him.”

  “Well, that’s because you can’t sleep with him,” she snaps, and I lay my hand on hers.

  Bless her, but she doesn’t know how to control her mouth around Simon. Not that I can blame her. “Riana, go over with Phillip.”

  She glares as Simon just laughs. “Yeah, go on, little sis.”

  “Are you sure I can’t at least kick him?”

  Simon’s laughter sets my teeth on edge as I shake my head. “Just go.”

  When she stands, I do too, folding my arms across my chest as I turn to him. “I hired nine different nannies, and none of them worked. So far so good with Lincoln.”

  “But it isn’t right. At least to me it’s not. I’m not okay with it. He’s Phillip’s friend, right? The guy from the other night.”

  Ugh, I should have told him earlier. I point to Lincoln, who was standing with Phillip, but then I see him striding over.

  Holding out his hand to Simon, he says, “Hey, I’m Lincoln Scott. We met the other night, but I don’t think we’ve met properly. I’m the one caring for the boys when Vera is at work.”

  Simon looks up at him before looking at me, ignoring Lincoln’s hand. “No way.”

  “It isn’t your decision. I’m paying for him,” I say simply.

  Simon’s eyes almost come out of his head. “He’s a man! What if he—”

  “I can send you every single one of his recommendations. If you ask the boys, they respect him. We need that. I don’t think you realize how bad we need that for the boys. They haven’t respected anyone, but they respect him. He is a great caregiver, and I don’t care what you have to say about it.”

  “They’re great kids—”

  But Simon cuts Lincoln off, like the jackass he is. “I know. I am their father.”

  My temper starts to boil. “And I am their mother. I don’t want them going to the school you’ve chosen, but because they somewhat like it, I don’t fight you on it.”

  “It’s a good school,” says Simon.

  “He’s a great nanny.”

  “Fine, we’ll go to court over it, then.”

  “Jesus, is that all you do? Throw that at me? I’m not scared of you, Simon,” I say, my voice rising. That is until Lincoln’s hand comes to the small of my back. Breathing heavily, I look over at him, meeting his heated gaze.

  “Charlie is within ear shot, and while I get your ex is a douche, I don’t think you want to upset your son.”

  “A douche? You don’t know me, kid. I can ruin you.”

  “Jesus Christ,” I mutter, exhaling hard as I look at Riana trying to talk to Charlie so he can’t see. “We can discuss this later.”

  “I’d love to see you try,” Lincoln says.

  That surprises me. This isn’t his fight; he doesn’t even have a dog in it. Well, except his job, but he doesn’t know this man from Adam, and in a way, I feel like he is trying to protect me.

  I don’t think Simon even notices. He says, “Or you can just agree to let me take the boys for spring break, and I’ll let it go.”

  “Oh, go fuck yourself, Simon,” I say simply. “Honestly—”

  “Mom, you good?”

  Charlie’s voice stops me, and I press my lips together. Lincoln moves his hand along my back soothingly.

  “Yes, love. I’m fine.”

  Charlie doesn’t seem convinced before he says, “You look upset. Are you two really fighting during Louis and Elliot’s game?”

  “No, not at all,” I say, reaching for him and squeezing his hand three times. “No worries.”

  He eyes me and then his father before shaking his head. “Leave her alone, Dad. Go back to the bleachers.”

  “We’re just talking, son—”

  “I don’t care. She was happy before you got here.”

  Charlie’s eyes cut to Lincoln’s, and I don’t miss the way he nods to my boy. With that, Charlie turns, heading back to where Riana and Phillip are standing. Riana wraps her arms around Charlie, kissing his cheek, and of course, he tries to get away, but she doesn’t let him get far. I smile and take a cleansing breath. I feel Lincoln looking at me, and when I turn my face just a bit, he’s there, his eyes on me. “Wanna go over with them?”

  “I do,” I say softly, and he gives me a weak smile. Nodding his head, he presses into my back, urging me toward them, but I pause, looking back at Simon. “We can discuss this another time when our children aren’t around. Excuse me.”

  I want to be giddy over the fact that Lincoln is touching me, but Simon ruins that within seconds. “So easy for you to walk away when this is serious, Vera. I’m not joking. I don’t want him to watch our children.”

  I just shrug. “I’ll see you in court, then.”

  And I’m not lying. I am over it. I won’t keep fighting, especially when it was my job to find a caregiver. I am paying for him—that is that. I refuse to allow him to think he can threaten me with court. I have been a victim of his for too long. Not anymore.

  Now, I choose to be happy.

  Just as we reach Riana, Phillip, and Charlie, Lincoln’s hand falls from my waist, and I wish it hadn’t. It felt right there. But Charlie is looking at me, so I know Lincoln not touching me is for the best. “Are you okay?”

  “I�
�m fine, love,” I say, squeezing his hand, but he doesn’t look convinced. I want to reassure him, but my time is up when the whistle is blown. The twins’ game is over, which means they’ll all leave with Simon. I bite into my cheek as I pull Charlie in close, kissing his cheek and ignoring his groans. When I’m tackled by two little boys, I smile as I wrap my arms around their sweaty necks. “You guys did great! I love watching you two play together.”

  Elliot’s eyes go wide. “Coach says we’re unstoppable!”

  “You are!” Lincoln and I say together, and then we share a small smile before I cup Louis’s face.

  “Your goal was sick,” I say.

  His face lights up so much it takes my breath away. Or maybe it’s the stench they are putting off.

  “But you two smell disgusting,” I groan, even though I’m met with laughter.

  Louis hugs me tightly. “We don’t want to leave you.”

  “I know—”

  “Boys, let’s go,” Simon calls.

  I don’t miss the way Charlie glares at him. I cup his face. “Be nice. Be good, all of you.”

  “We will,” the twins chime, but Charlie makes no such promise.

  Kissing all three of their heads, I tell them I love them before they say bye to everyone else and then run off with my ex-husband. I let out a long sigh and wish like hell they weren’t leaving. When Phillip’s arm slings across my neck, I look up at him as he smiles down at me. “Don’t worry. I’ll get you drunk, and you won’t think a bit about that fucker.”

  “What?” Riana says, coming to my other side. “She has a date tonight.”

  “She does?”

  They both look to me, and then I even feel Lincoln looking at me.

  I clear my throat, my face turning red. “I canceled.”

  “What! You puss!”

  I laugh at my sister’s teasing tone. “I wasn’t ready for it.”

  She yells something as she reaches for her bag, which is beside our chairs, but all I hear is Lincoln say, “I think it was the right choice.”

  I meet his gaze, taken back by his words. His lips curve, and I’m utterly confused by him.

  I want him.

  I’m not sure if he wants me.

  As Lincoln helps Phillip gather all our things, I watch as Riana comes up beside me, a little kitten grin on her face.

  “So I heard we’re going to dinner with Lincoln,” she sings.

  I roll my eyes. “To get to know him.”

  “Yeah, but nothing says you can’t take him home and…” Her words trail off as she runs to her husband and takes hold of his hips before humping him as he’s bent over. “All night long.”

  “Riana! What the hell?” Phillip complains, but I’m the one bent over laughing as she continues to assault her husband. “What in the world are you doing?”

  “Demonstration, jeez,” she complains, smacking his butt. “Most men love when their wives do that.”

  Wheezing, I say, “Oh, my God, you’re a nut.”

  She beams over at me as Phillip gives her a confused look. “Hump their ass? I don’t think so.” He looks at Lincoln, who’s laughing and shaking his head. “Do you like that?”

  Lincoln swallows his laughter, lifting one of the chairs up under his arm. “If it’s the right woman, why not?”

  I swear his gaze meets mine in a quick but very naughty way. It’s only for a second before he grabs the other chair.

  But it has me breathless.

  “Holy shit. I saw that,” Riana says under her breath to me.

  I look to Riana with wide eyes. “See!”

  “You’re totally getting laid tonight.”

  “Please.”

  “No, it’s happening.”

  “Riana!”

  “Nope, leave it to me!”

  “Riana!” I holler even louder, but she’s off taking her husband’s hand and swinging it happily.

  I know I’m in trouble.

  I should be scared, right?

  Right.

  So why I am excited?

  Chapter Nine

  Lincoln

  “So they’re running, and when I say running, I mean like sprinting across this field.” Phillip pauses to laugh as he shakes his head.

  Across the table, the girls are giggling—well Riana is, but Vera is hiding her mouth as she snorts with laughter. I love the way her eyes are sparkling. She’s stunning.

  “And of course, this was when I was overweight, so I was struggling to catch up. I turn the corner, and they’re gone. Legit, gone. Apparently they were hiding in a hole!”

  “A hole?” I laugh, and Vera snorts.

  Riana’s head falls back, laughter shaking her body. “We had to get away,” she chortles, and I can’t help but laugh harder.

  Phillip gives her a deadpan look. “Yeah, thanks. So of course, I go to jail.”

  “You didn’t go to jail!” Vera insists. “He was in holding until he gave us up.”

  “Which I wouldn’t!”

  Riana giggles. “So we sent our uncle, who is a lawyer, to get him. He was traumatized. Until it happened again. Then I think he got used to it.”

  I laugh as I lean back in the plush chair. “It happened again?”

  “The next week!” Phillip complains, which just sends them into a fit of laughter again. “I swear to God, I don’t know what it is with them and their hometown officer, but he was out to catch them.”

  “What in the world did you do?”

  “Trespassing.”

  “Skinny dipping,” Riana added, counting off her fingers.

  “Wasn’t there an assault?” asks Vera. “I don’t remember. I was drunk.”

  Riana scoffed. “You knocked Simon upside the head with a loaf of bread, and he called the sheriff.”

  Phillip snorted. “And dude, that cop showed up and Vera was gone. Hiding in the trunk of my car.”

  I try to hold in my laughter, but I can’t. “I don’t believe it.”

  Vera nods, still laughing. “Oh, I was rotten.”

  “We both were,” Riana adds between snorts.

  “Which is why we haven’t been back there in what, ten years?” Vera asks, holding her wine to her lips.

  If anyone were to ask, I am staring at the glass, not the lips.

  Which is the biggest lie of the night.

  I’m actually staring at her lips and then her jaw and her neck and then those lavish breasts. Today she’s wearing jeans that hug her so tightly my mouth is watering at the sight of her. Along with the shirt that clings to her waist and breasts, I’m surprised my dish towel stayed in place earlier today.

  She’s absolutely stunning.

  And with each passing second I spend with her, I’m regretting my promise to my best friend.

  “We’d go back, and I swear they wouldn’t recognize us,” Vera says.

  “Especially you! But really, has it been ten? Yeah, the last time we went, you found out you were pregnant with the twins.”

  She nodded. “Simon proposed a little after that.”

  “Even after you slapped him with a loaf of bread,” Phillip says.

  She scoffs. “It was Bunny Bread. It hardly hurt.”

  “I don’t know… You swung that really hard.”

  Riana snorted. “Then threw each slice in his face.”

  Phillip choked on his laughter. “I just remember him saying, ‘Stop, this is assault. It hurts.’ He was such a bitch.”

  “Was? Still is,” Vera says, shaking her head, obviously lost in the distant memory.

  Holding my hand up, I say, “I’m confused. First, I didn’t know I was hanging with convicts.” Both women hoot at that. “How’d you guys end up here?”

  Riana looks at Vera just as she does the same. With a small smile, she looks back to me before saying, “When we lost our parents, our dad’s mom was the one to get custody of us. Well, more so Riana, since I was almost eighteen, but that didn’t matter ’cause she wasn’t going anywhere without me.”

 
“Or she without me,” Riana says with a grin. “But we ended up here, and we never left. Simon’s punk-ass moved here to be closer to Charlie, and our grandma helped him get a job with our uncle. So he actually wouldn’t be where he is without our family.”

  “She’s bitter,” Vera jokes, sending her sister a grin, and I smile. “But she isn’t wrong.”

  “Not at all,” Phillip adds, and we all laugh then as our meals are brought out.

  Since I notice everything Vera does, I watch as she taps her glass, quietly asking for another as Riana throws mushrooms on Phillip’s plate.

  I smile. “That’s insane.”

  “Yeah, we were wild, but we’ve calmed down a lot,” Vera says, looking to her sister lovingly.

  “You have. Riana hasn’t,” Phillip decides.

  Riana smacks him playfully. “I am a model citizen.”

  “You’re just smart and don’t get caught,” Vera says then, and Riana glares over at her, sticking her tongue out. She laughs once more and then downs the rest of her drink as everyone’s laughter subsides. I like this part of her. The joking part. It’s amazing to see her smile so much.

  When she clears her throat, I look up and she says, “You two were friends, right? Met in college?”

  I nod. “We met in high school, but yeah, went to college together and even lived together.”

  Phillip scoffs. “You should have seen it, Vera. My dad gave us the ultimate pad.”

  “Despite my mother’s wishes.” I laugh, and he grins over at me.

  “Oh, really?” Vera asks.

  Riana nods. “Phillip’s dad told them not to do anything but go to school. Apparently, they did everything but go to school.”

  I laugh as I shake my head. “Excuse me. I went.”

  “I’m sorry. Lincoln went while Phillip almost flunked out freshman year.”

  Vera’s eyes widen. “Phillip! Really?”

  He shrugs. “Hey, I was a fucked-up kid.”

  I raise my glass. “Truth.”

  “But he found his way,” Riana said softly, moving her hand with his.

  “Or he found a great piece of ass he couldn’t give up, and she molded him into the perfect man,” I tease, and I’m rewarded with a middle finger as Vera snorts with laughter, holding her hand over her face.