Pull At My Heart

by Ellie Malouff

  Eoghan’s quiet as he drives us through town. He’s been this way since I found him in the pub. He was on the phone, pacing around and arguing with somebody. Personal or business, I had no idea. He was talking too fast and his accent was way too thick for me to understand what he was saying. It didn’t matter, anyway. The second he saw me, he stopped and told the person he had to go. He didn’t even wait for a reply before ending the call and then led me out to the car without saying much.

  The quiet between us isn’t doing my nerves any favors, so I do something about it. “It seems like the pub does well, so why do you drive this taxi?”

  “The pub does do well,” he says, not really answering my question.

  “You share the taxi with your brother?”

  He shifts in his seat and looks straight forward. “We take turns with it.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Aren’t you little miss nosy this early in the mornin’?”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to press,” I tell him, even though I really do. He still doesn’t say anything, so I examine his taxi license and the one his partially covers beneath it. The first few letters of a name are visible: Pad. I rack my brain trying to remember his youngest brother’s name. Seán, that’s it. So the taxi belongs to someone else?

  “Are you nervous?” he asks suddenly, snapping me out of my investigation into the mysterious taxicab.

  “I am,” I confess.

  “It’ll be grand.”

  “I hope so.”

  “How long have you worked for that boss of yours?” he asks, and his jaw tightens.

  “Not long at all.”

  “And just that fast, he invited you to come work in Ireland?”

  “That’s right,” I answer, and my stomach clenches. I hate the doubt in his voice. It sounds a lot like the doubt I’ve had in my head since Saturday night.

  “Mmm,” he sounds.

  “What?”

  He looks over at me and our eyes land on one another. “Nothin’.”

  “It’s not how it looks,” I quickly reply, suddenly feeling like Eoghan can see right through me.

  “I didn’t say it looked like anything, lass.”

  I nod and gaze out the passenger window, feeling even more unsettled.

  As we enter Ballycoom, I thank my lucky stars that I’m able to live in Cork City. It’s not that Ballycoom is bad—it’s just a bit dry, nothing like the vibrancy of City Centre or Murrough’s. Eoghan’s words “pub life” circle around my head and I wonder if I’ll one day regret my decision to not have a quiet and simple life in Ballycoom.

  Eoghan pulls in front of CloudSoft Solutions and puts the car in park. He stretches his arm across, behind my headrest, and turns toward me. “Pick ya up at what time, lass?”

  “Eoghan, you don’t have to pick me up. I’ll take the bus back. I’ve got it all worked out.”

  “Half five, then?”

  I shake my head, knowing that it’s useless to argue with him. “Does that mean five-thirty?”

  He nods.

  “Yeah, that works,” I say, and thank him for the ride before I get out. He stays nearby and watches until I open the building door. Eoghan’s probably right, my dad would love knowing that someone’s watching out for me like this, but he’d probably prefer it were a nun or a priest, not some hunk that lets me live in his apartment and only wears sweats to bed, if that.

  The office is already buzzing with activity. There’s lots of chatter on phone calls, a few meetings taking place in conference rooms, and people talking at their desks to one another with cups of tea and coffee in their hands. I head up to my floor, smiling along the way to anyone I cross paths with. I’m delighted when I get quite a few smiles back.

  When I arrive at my desk, I’m glad Brigid is there, working away, and Javier, too. I immediately glance over to Aiden’s office and it’s empty. I’m simultaneously relieved and frustrated. We need to get over this awkward hump so we can work together effectively.

  “Goooood morning,” I sing to Brigid.

  She looks up from her monitor and a huge smile spreads across her face. “We didn’t scare you off.”

  That makes me laugh. “No, not yet.”

  She wheels back and taps Javier, “Javie, look who’s here.”

  He looks over at me and flashes a goofy grin. “Buenos días, Julie,” he says, pronouncing my name with a soft J.

  “Buenos días.” Ah, it’s good to feel just a little at home here.

  “Have a good weekend?” Brigid asks.

  “I did.” I get out my laptop and dock it in the cradle to connect to the monitor and keyboard. “I found a flat.”

  “Oh really? Here in Ballycoom?”

  “No, actually, in the city.”

  “Really? Where at?”

  “Umm…well, above Murrough’s, actually.”

  “The pub?”

  “Yep.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a sly smile crossing her face. “And how on earth did you manage that?”

  “Oh, I think the landlord is taking pity on me. I got a good deal.”

  “Is the landlord your man with the camera?”

  “Mmm-hmm,” I respond and open my email.

  “Pity, right,” she says and goes back to work, still smiling like crazy.

  “Julie,” I hear from behind me. Deidre is standing nearby with her arms crossed. She looks great, wearing a black business suit and with her hair up in a French twist.

  “Deidre, hi. How are you?”

  “Fine,” she says, but with little spirit. “Aiden asked that I introduce you to your team. I’ve scheduled them for a meeting at ten. We’ll be in conference room 212.”

  “Okay,” I say, and make a note on my calendar. My team consists of handpicked cloud services engineers that will be working together for the first time. Meeting with them is an important first step in my transition to the Cork office and getting the team to get to know each other.

  “See you then,” she says.

  “Great. Thank you so much, Deidre. I really appreciate it.”

  She smirks and walks back to her office. I know she probably hates assisting me so much when she clearly has more important work to do, but I do greatly appreciate it.

  “Ugh,” Brigid says under her breath.

  “What?”

  “Giant broom, remember?”

  And I do remember what Brigid said about Deidre and it makes me giggle all over again. “Yeah, right. Totally. I’m going to go get some tea, want some?”

  “That would be lovely,” she says.

  As I stand in the kitchen and dip my teabag in and out of the hot water in my mug, I wonder if Aiden will even be in today. I wouldn’t be totally against it if he stayed away. It would be nice to adjust to the new office without the pressure of our first encounter, post-kiss, weighing on me.

  But alas, that little wish of mine is far too much to ask for.

  “Julie,” Aiden says from behind me.

  I slowly turn around to face him. “Aiden,” I return.

  “You’re looking well.”

  My ear follicles vibrate at the memory of him whispering “really well” into my ear right before he kissed me on Saturday night. “As do you,” I reply a little too long after he said it.

  I wait for him to say something meaningful, to give me some sort of sign, some acknowledgement about what had happened between us, but there’s nothing—no wink, no sly comment, no apology. Instead he just says, “Right. Well, see you later.”

  I take a deep breath, relieved that our first encounter is behind us and I’m happy about the outcome. It’s like our kiss never happened. I can live with that.

  At ten o’clock, I make my way over to the conference room where my team is waiting, as well as Deidre and—to my surprise—Aiden.

  “Grand, here she is, let’s get started,” Aiden says as I take a seat across from him. “I want to introduce you to Julie Rodriguez, an import from the San Diego office. J
ulie has been wildly successful at cultivating and managing the E3 support and licensing team. Together, we’re going to develop a new team that supports our new CloudSoft E4 hybrid service. You have been selected to be a part of this team, and much like Julie, your experience, expertise, and dedication to CSS is why you’re here. Please join me in giving her a warm welcome.”

  Aiden starts to clap and the rest of the room follows quickly after. I’m not going to lie, I needed to hear him say all that. Doubts have been plaguing me the past few days, which is really unfortunate because I’ve always considered myself to be amazing at my job and fully worthy of a promotion like this.

  “Thank you,” I say and clasp my hands together. I glance at Aiden and he’s smiling at me. “And thank you, Aiden, for that nice introduction. Now, I’d like to learn more about each of you. Let’s go around the room, and if you wouldn’t mind, please introduce yourself and tell us a little something about yourself, personally and professionally.”

  Introductions fill the rest of the hour. It’s true that the Irish are chatty people and I don’t mind one bit. Getting to know my team is my number one priority for the week. There’s a lot of laughter and that’s exactly how I hoped it would be.

  Aiden stuck it out through the whole meeting and Deidre stayed by his side, clearly making her choice based off of what he did. She’s a game player, that much is clear. I’m not sure if she feels threatened by me professionally or what, but there isn’t a lot of love between us.

  The rest of the day goes off without a hitch. I had lunch with my team, scheduled meetings, and participated in conference calls. At a quarter after five, I start to wind down and clean up my desk. I head over to the kitchen to wash the mug I’ve been using all day.

  Aiden suddenly joins me with his own mug. I’m a little nervous about being alone with him again, afraid that he’ll bring up the kiss, but he doesn’t. “How was your first day?” he asks.

  “Great, actually. I really like the team,” I tell him as I continue to scrub and scrub the same mug.

  “Good. I think the meeting this morning went well. They will like you as much as I like you.”

  I hope he means professionally.

  “The meeting was great,” I reply, feeling as if I need to say something to seem like a normal human being, capable of having a normal workplace conversation.

  “You know, there’s a dishwasher,” he says and opens the door to it. “Leonna turns it on every night and empties it every morning.”

  “Oh.” I shake my head from embarrassment. “I didn’t know.”

  “Have a good night, Julie,” Aiden says, and walks off without looking back.

  Well, that wasn’t so bad. Whatever happened with Aiden on the weekend was obviously a fluke. Alcohol is evil. I make a mental note not to get in any situation like that with him again. I came to Ireland to build a new team. I came here to see more of the world. The last thing I need to do is jeopardize my goals.

  As I head back to my desk, I’m so lost in thought that I bump into Deidre. As if things aren’t icy enough between us, now she really has a scowl on her face for me. “Jesus, Julie, watch where you’re going.”

  “Yeah, sorry,” I say half-heartedly and rush back to my desk.

  When it’s finally time to meet Eoghan, I pack up my laptop, grab my purse, and head out the door, making sure to say goodnight to Leonna on my way out. She gives me a nod, nothing more, nothing less.

  The fresh air is lovely and I have newfound energy to meet Eoghan and go home. Home. How weird. I scan the parking lot for the taxi, but what I find is Eoghan on the motorcycle instead. I grin and shake my head. It certainly isn’t what I pictured for myself, riding home to Cork City on the back of a bike in my work clothes, but being back on the bike sends a small thrill through me. After my long day, I’m looking forward to the comforting feeling of holding on to Eoghan while the wind rushes over me.

  As I walk across the parking lot toward him, I catch his eye. He turns to me and smiles beautifully. I can’t help but match his smile with my own.

  “What happened to the taxi?” I ask as he holds out the helmet for me.

  “Seán’s turn,” he answers.

  I squeeze my stuff into the saddlebag and then swing my leg over the bike. “Thank God I didn’t wear a skirt today.”

  “I’m not as thankful,” he jokes, and I laugh along with him. The boy knows how to flirt. I wrap my arms around him and he starts up the bike. “Ready?”

  “Very much,” I reply and we get going. As we pull out of the parking lot, Aiden comes out of the building. He spots me right away and his mouth drops open at the sight of me on the back of Eoghan’s bike. Bet he wasn’t expecting that. I can’t help but laugh and then rest my head on Eoghan’s back and squeeze him a little tighter to me. He accelerates the bike and takes us toward the city. I’m so relieved that things with Aiden are fine. There’s so much to do to build the team and the service offering. There’s nothing and no one that will stop me from being successful at it.

  Cuts and Bruises

  Eoghan

  A few weeks pass and Juliana works like a madwoman. Most nights and weekends, she works at home and I’m not quite sure I’ve ever met someone so dedicated to her job. She’s on the phone a lot, dealing with something called “escalations.” Each moment that I do get with her is like a gift. She makes me laugh, she makes me hard as a rock every morning as she flutters around the flat getting ready, but more than anything, she makes me want more.

  More than the hand I’ve been dealt.

  It’s been nearly a month since my dad has been home. This isn’t the longest he’s been gone, by any stretch, but it feels harder this time around, juggling it all. Between Mam’s emotions, keeping the taxi going for their sake, running the monster we call the pub, and hanging out with Juliana when I can, I’m stretched thin.

  I haven’t had sex in ages, it seems, and none of the women downstairs interest me. How could they? Not when I sleep mere feet away from a goddess. That goddess being my friend, Juliana. Friends. I have to remind myself of that on daily basis.

  Even now, as she comes out of her room, changed out of her work clothes and into a university t-shirt and itty-bitty cotton shorts, I’m drooling. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun and that does things to me. Every. Damn. Time.

  Friends.

  “Wine?” I ask her as I pour myself a glass.

  “Yes, please,” she says with an extra-bright smile.

  She’s so happy tonight and I love it. It’s gotta be because of what she told me on the drive home tonight. Yes, I’m still driving her to work each morning and home each night. She keeps going on about how she can take the bus, but I tell her it’s no bother. What she doesn’t know is that it’s the best part of my day.

  Anyway, she told me that she finally has a good handle on work and that she’ll have more free time now, and that maybe she can start helping out downstairs. I was delighted for eight different reasons, which I couldn’t share with her because that would betray the just-friends agreement, so I told her I’m happy because September is the height of wedding season around here and Ruth could use a hand.

  I pour wine into her glass and pass it across the island.

  “Always the bartender,” she jokes.

  “Seems that way. Fish tacos?” I ask as I root around in the refrigerator.

  She nearly coughs up wine. “Did you just say fish tacos?”

  I look over my shoulder to see her mouth hanging open. “Yeah. Problem?”

  She’s smiling, while simultaneously biting her bottom lip. How does she do that? And please don’t stop. “Not at all. I’m surprised, that’s all.”

  “Why? You know I love to cook,” I say and grab a few more ingredients.

  “Tacos. In Ireland. Just a little surreal since I’m so far from home.”

  “Well,” I start, and then close the fridge door with an armful of food. “I can’t promise that these are as good as what you get at home, but they�
��re not bad. I learned how to make them in Baja.”

  She almost does another spit take. “When were you in Baja?”

  “Three years ago, on holiday.”

  “Wow, I’m surprised you ever left the People’s Republic of Cork,” she teases.

  I go along with it. “Me too.”

  “So, you’ve basically been to my ’hood, more or less.”

  I get out a cutting board and tear open the brown paper packaging of the fish. “I’ve actually been to San Diego, too.”

  “Get out! How are you just now telling me this, a month into being roommates?”

  He shrugs. “I’ve been up and down that coast.”

  “That is so insane.”

  “The Irish do travel, even Liam and I,” I attempt to explain and then start washing some peppers.

  “You went with Liam?”

  “I did.”

  “What a small world it is,” she muses. “Are you using corn tortillas?”

  “Wouldn’t use anything else.”

  She nods in approval. “I’m surprised you can get those here.”

  “Well, lass, it’s quite a process to get them.”

  “Really?” she asks, completely serious.

  “Oh yes,” I say dramatically. In the silliest Irish accent I can muster, I go on, “First, we wait until it rains. Then, if there’s a rainbow, we go in search of the wee leprechaun and his pot of gold. If we’re lucky enough to find him, we trade a four-leaf clover for a dozen corn tortillas.”

  She almost falls off her stool from laughing so hard and then gives me a slow clap for my performance. “I get it, okay. Ireland’s not some isolated little island.”

  My eyebrows shoot up.

  She rolls those beautiful eyes. Boy, do I love getting under her skin.

  We get stuck in that moment for a little too long. The kind of moment when you can’t stop smiling and locking eyes with someone you like more than you should. It’s a fine moment. One that I hate to break but know I should, so I ask the first thing that pops into my head. “What’d you have for lunch today?”