Protecting What's His (To Love and Defend Book 1)

by Daniella Starre

  Alexis laughed. The sound wasn't quite as full and hearty as normal, but she was relaxing some already.

  She leaned back against him, just far enough away that she could look up to see his face.

  "What do you need to tell me?" he asked softly.

  The back of her hand brushed against his cheek. She softly clasped his chin and pulled him down for a soft, simple kiss. It was more searching than anything, and he hoped her gave her whatever it was she sought.

  Maybe he did because she was smiling. Unfortunately, only a second later, she was frowning again.

  "I really don't know how to say this, but… I'm pregnant," she said.

  She'd managed to floor him again. Sure, he'd realized after she left that they hadn't used condoms. Considering she'd been the one to put him in, he figured she was on the pill. He'd intended to use condoms at first, but he'd loved feeling every aspect of her that he hadn't hesitated and halted long enough to put one on the second time.

  Regardless, she was pregnant. Inside of her, this fierce werewolf, was his baby. He was going to be a father.

  A wide smile stretched across his face, and he hesitantly reached out to her belly. With tears in her eyes, she guided his hand.

  "It's not like you can feel the baby move yet," she said, laughing.

  "I know, but I can't wait to.”

  Her smile, her eyes, the tilt of her head… she looked so relieved.

  “You wanted to be a father?” Alexis asked.

  “I always figured I would be one day. I’m thirty-six. Why not now?”

  “But…” The hint of relief that had glimmered in her eyes vanished, replaced with worry.

  “What now?” There was something else. He knew there was. As desperate as he was to know what it was, he didn’t want to pry. When she was ready, she’d tell him. At least he hoped she would trust him with the issue.

  “It’s a lot to take in.” She swallowed hard, worry causing her to bite her lower lip. “In eight weeks, there will be a baby. Our baby.”

  “Eight weeks,” he murmured. Crazy was the most apt term.

  Werewolf pregnancies were much faster than human. Ten weeks only, not forty. Two short months and he would be a father. And Alexis would be the mother.

  Was he terrified? You bet. He was only beginning to get to know Alexis. What he saw he liked, but he didn’t know her ideas, her opinions, her worries, her fears. He didn’t know how to raise a child. Did she? Had she any siblings? He didn’t. Outside of his pack, he had no family to speak of. No parents, no siblings. He hadn’t any experience with babysitting or young kids.

  “I thought you should know,” Alexis murmured. “I don’t know if you’ll want to see the baby or—“

  “Hold up. Wait. You think I’ll be a deadbeat dad?”

  She flushed, her embarrassment highlighting her high cheekbones. Alexis was beautiful. There was no doubting that. If they had a daughter, he hoped she would take after her mother. On second thought, no. He’d never be able to handle a daughter dating. The idea made him want to unleash his inner wolf right now, and the baby hadn’t even been born yet!

  “It’s not that I think that,” Alexis protested after a slight hesitation. “It’s just… A one-night stand doesn’t exactly set the grounds for a lasting relationship.”

  Her skepticism wounded him, but he understood. Something else was going on, something that made her skittish. Maybe a past relationship. Whatever the reason, she was worried about the future, and he understood that. He’d do anything to ease her anxiety.

  That she didn’t seem willing to even contemplate a long-term relationship with him hurt him even more. He thought they had real potential. He just had to get her to see that, to recognize it.

  “You don’t care for me?”

  “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “I wouldn’t believe you if you claimed you didn’t find me attractive.”

  Her blush returned full force, and he grinned.

  “So you care for me, and you find me attractive. What else do you need?”

  She opened her mouth, but he held up a finger.

  “To get to know me better. I know I’d love to get to know you better.”

  “More than just my body?” She rose a skeptical eyebrow, but her lips were curling into that teasing smirk he was already beginning to love.

  “Your body, your mind…” He rubbed his knuckles against her cheek. “Everything.”

  Her smile turned shy, which surprised him considering how intimate they’d already been.

  A new goal was set. He was bound and determined to prove her wrong. Not all one-night stands worked out, but he was willing to make a gargantuan effort to go against the statistics.

  6

  Alexis knew she would have to tell Jasper about Melvin, but it could wait until morning. Jasper was being so sweet, doting on her, catering to her every whim. She loved teasing him, asking him for a bubble bath and other silly little things. For now, he caved on everything, and she felt bad. She felt even worse wondering if the novelty of it all would wear off. Would he feel like she was shackling him? Would he feel trapped? Would he grow to resent her?

  That was the last thing she wanted.

  After the bubble bath, Jasper suggested pizza, but Alexis was so tired that she nearly fell asleep in the tub. He offered her his bed Being back in his room brought back so many wonderful memories. His fingers, his tongue… his cock… She could almost still smell the aftermath of their sex in the room. Of course, that was just her imagination. The sheets had been changed.

  As soon as she climbed into bed, his scent washed over her, and she inhaled deeply. She’d slept so peacefully here that night until she woke up from a nightmare featuring Melvin.

  “Do you need anything?” Jasper asked from the doorway.

  “A back rub,” she teased.

  “Of course.” The werewolf started toward the bed.

  She sat up, her cheeks growing warm. “Oh, no. I was joking.”

  He hesitated. “I really don’t mind.”

  “It feels… It would…”

  “You don’t think I can control myself when I’m around you? Is that it?”

  “Basically.” She giggled a little uncomfortably.

  “Hey. You know I know what no means. I’d never put you in a situation in which you even think about saying no.” He sat on the edge of the bed, closer to the foot and away from her. “If you think a back rub would help you relax, I’ll do it. I won’t say that I won’t get turned on by it. We both know I will. But I’ll let you sleep.”

  “With the hope that when I wake, I’ll be in the mood?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Is that so terrible?” He laughed. “You know me so well.”

  She shook her head.

  “Does your back hurt?” he asked, growing serious.

  “No. I’m fine. I seriously was just teasing. I don’t need a back rub.”

  “What do you need?”

  She stifled a yawn and covered her mouth. “Sleep.”

  “Then rest.” He leaned over, kissed her forehead, and tucked her in.

  She sighed, content, and promptly fell asleep.

  Melvin was there, standing over her on the bed. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. He ripped off her clothes and—

  Gargling out a cry, Alexis sat upright on the bed. The nightmare about the Asshole of all Alphas had felt all too real. Thank the moon it was only a nightmare and not actual memories. She shuddered at the thought.

  Just then, Jasper walked by the doorway and double back. “Do you need anything?”

  She glanced at the clock. It was well past midnight.

  “Why are you awake?” she asked, confused. “Don’t tell me that you’re worried about me and couldn’t sleep.”

  “No, no. Nothing like that.”

  It was hard to tell with the shadows from the hallway, but was he blushing? Why would he be embarrassed?

  “You should go to bed,” she said. />
  He nodded and turned to leave.

  “If you promise to behave, you can sleep here,” she offered.

  “And if I can’t behave?” he asked in that delicious, deep voice of his.

  “You can still sleep here.” She scooted over.

  He grinned and climbed into bed behind her. Her ass naturally fit into the groove by his cock, but she was too tired to do anything. Jasper seemed content to just hold her, and again, she drifted off to sleep.

  Melvin’s voice. She couldn’t quite hear what he was saying, but she had the impression he was talking to her. He was touching her. Why was she naked? Why couldn’t she open her eyes? Why couldn’t she fight him? She couldn’t talk, couldn’t run, couldn’t fight, couldn’t scream.

  She was trapped.

  Gasping, Alexis jerked away, frightened and terrified.

  “What’s wrong?” a familiar voice asked.

  Jasper. Not Melvin.

  In vain, she tried to settle her frantic and furious beating heart. She felt lost, isolated, alone.

  “Come here,” Jasper urged, holding out his arms.

  She cuddled against him, and he rubbed the back of her head.

  “If you want to talk, we can talk. We can go back to sleep. We can get up. Whatever you want.”

  She stared up at him. “What do you want?”

  “Oh, no,” he protested. “It’s not about me.”

  She took his hand and brought it to her belly. “But it is,” she whispered.

  He kissed the top of her head, and a thrill went through her. When he did that, she felt both protected and desired.

  “If you wake from a nightmare, and I don’t stir, wake me,” he said.

  “I can handle bad dreams myself.”

  “I know you can, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

  She grinned at him. Suddenly, she didn’t feel quite so tired anymore, and she felt something else altogether. Pulling him to her, she kissed him as deeply and passionately as she could. Sometimes, beds were meant for sleeping, and sometimes, they were meant for a little bit more.

  Now was one of those times.

  The next day came and went, and Alexis never once thought of Melvin, which was a good thing and a not so good thing. Not so good mostly because it meant she didn’t tell Jasper about him. It wasn’t until they climbed into bed that night that she remembered, and she wasn’t about to mention another guy to Jasper in his own bed. It felt wrong.

  But she didn’t tell him the next day either. Jasper took the day off as a construction worker to show her more of the city. The next day, he insisted that she be seen by the werewolf doctor in the city. She’d already seen one, a good friend who wouldn’t share the news with anyone, especially not Melvin.

  Still, she wasn’t about to turn down the chance to listen to the baby’s heartbeat again. Now that she knew and accepted that she was pregnant, this time around, she wouldn’t be so frightened and nervous. Most importantly, she wouldn’t be alone.

  Hand in hand, they walked into the doctor’s office shortly after noon and were ushered back immediately. Everything went perfectly, smoothly, and she had no complaints. None.

  If she weren’t careful and if Jasper kept this up, she just might fall for him. Would that be the worst thing?

  Yes. If Melvin found out, and that was most likely only a matter of time.

  7

  For two weeks, life fell into a comfortable routine. Jasper knew he would have to return to work eventually, especially if he wanted some time off after the baby came. Still, he hated to leave Alexis’ side.

  “I’ll be fine,” she said. “Besides, you don’t want to be fired.”

  Jasper grinned. “I work with the pack. I’ll be fine. My job won’t be in jeopardy. I’m not worried about that.”

  He forced a grin. Several times, he’d offered to introduce her to his friends, to other members of his pack, but she always shied away. Whatever was bothering her brought up walls at times. Soon enough, he stopped asking, and she opened right up again. Like a beautiful flower. Not a delicate one, a long-lasting, durable one. One that could stand the test of time.

  For the first three days of her fifth week, Jasper went to work. He texted her whenever he had the chance, and she teased him that the house had burned down. Although he knew she was joking, the thought of her being in danger paralyzed him. His buddy Rex Martone clapped him on the back, and Jasper snapped out of it.

  The next day, though, he took the morning off. Alexis was now more than halfway through her pregnancy. In a few hours, they would learn the baby’s gender. He couldn’t wait. That first night after she told him about the pregnancy, he had started a baby registry. He didn’t know what exactly they would need, so he put on everything and anything. The farther along this progressed, the more excited he was becoming. Alexis glowed. She was all belly, and she had hardly been sick at all. At the last appointment, Doctor Ginger Ridley said that back pain might start at any time. He’d grinned broadly, and Alexis had slapped him. She knew he was thinking about massages and what they might lead to.

  “Are you ready?” he called.

  “Yes.”

  Alexis emerged from his bedroom. Her simple dress revealed her belly, and he couldn’t help but rub it. Strangers at the grocery store or anywhere else weren’t allowed to touch, but he was allowed to.

  He’d never forget the first time he felt the baby move. The baby, boy or girl, had a good punch already.

  Alexis held out her hand. He seized it, rubbing his thumb against her smooth skin. She grinned and kissed his cheek.

  “Let’s go see our baby,” she whispered.

  Our baby. He loved the sound of that.

  Doctor Ginger Ridley was a short, thin woman who operated like a powerhouse. She was always moving, always working. Give her a task, and she’d handle it.

  The doctor herself brought them back to the room, and within minutes, everything was all set up. Doctor Ridley was already moving the wand around on Alexis’ bare stomach. She took several measurements, talking all the while, but there was only one thing Jasper wanted to know.

  “Let’s see… do you want to know the gender?” The doctor hesitated, looking at Alexis and then Jasper.

  Jasper glanced down at Alexis and squeezed her hand.

  Alexis nodded. “Please.”

  “Let’s see if he or she will cooperate. If they don’t move their legs… Hm. Come on, little one. There. Do you see?”

  Jasper stared at the monitor. “I don’t see,” he mumbled.

  “Exactly.” Doctor Ridley winked.

  “It’s a girl,” Alexis whispered.

  The doctor nodded. “Yes, she is, and she looks perfect. Everything is great. I see no reason to be alarmed at all. Your pregnancy has been smooth so far, and most likely, that will continue.”

  Doctor Ridley wiped off the wand and Alexis’ belly and left the room.

  Jasper was beside himself. A girl. A daughter. He was going to have a little girl.

  His hand found hers, and he squeezed maybe a little too hard.

  “Alexis,” he said, his voice full of emotion, “I love you and our baby girl.”

  Alexis stared up at him. Shock and dismay filled her eyes, and she burst into tears.

  “What’s wrong?” He bent over the chair she sat in and cradled him close to him. “Please. Tell me. Did I do something wrong? What do you need? Should I have not said that?”

  Had he ruined what he considered the best part of his life?

  8

  Overwhelming. Everything was so overwhelming. Alexis knew her hormones were out of whack, that she was sensitive to matters she shouldn’t be. She wasn’t prone to crying, and pregnancy hadn’t changed that.

  Not until Jasper said those words. Not just that he loved her but that he loved their baby girl.

  It was just too much for her. The past three weeks with him had been wonderful. She felt safe, cherished, desired. Her job as a blogger allowed her to work from anywhere at
any time, and she could continue to be self-sufficient.

  At times, she considered getting an apartment, but the idea of not seeing Jasper all of the time bothered her. She told herself repeatedly that it was only because werewolves needed to be with other werewolves. That it was the matter of having a pack, even if it was only the two of them.

  But his words, his declaration, that changed everything.

  And she still hadn’t told the truth. How could she? At this point, if Jasper knew she was running away from her pack, he’d grow afraid. He’d fear that she’d one day up and leave him. He’d have every reason to think that considering she’d fled the morning after.

  She didn’t want to leave him, but she knew she would. If it came down to her leaving Jasper or Melvin finding out about them and going after Jasper, she’d leave. Because, deep down, she couldn’t deny the connection between the two of them. From the start, she’d been drawn to him, and that feeling hadn’t faded yet. She doubted it ever would. Was that love? Maybe. Probably.

  “What do you need? Should I have not said that?” Jasper asked.

  Alexis pushed him slightly away so she could rub her eyes. “I’m excited. I’m thrilled. A girl. A baby girl. I’ll have to get her all the bows and little shoes and dresses. All the dresses.”

  Eyes still teary, she gave him a small smile. The worry and fear in his green eyes wouldn’t go away, but beneath that was something stronger. Something powerful. He really did love her. And she didn’t want anything to happen to him because of her.

  Maybe she should leave, but where would she go? What kind of life would that be for her baby girl? A life on the run would be no life at all.

  “Jasper,” she said, clinging to his hand, needing him to know everything. Needing to protect him. “I— “

  His phone rang.

  “Ignore it,” he said. “Go ahead.”

  But his phone kept ringing, long after it should’ve. The person, whoever it was, was desperate to get ahold of him.

  “Answer it,” Alexis said. Her face felt flushed. Worry and dread twisted her stomach into knots. A delay to compose herself would be welcome.