Jayce & Emma

by Barbara Winkes

  “I’m not so sure about that.”

  Maxine laughed. “You probably figured out already that it doesn’t get much better around here, but I got a cigarette if you like. Come find me after your session.”

  “Sure. I won’t say no to that. Thanks…I didn’t get your name?”

  “I’m Maxine.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Jayce said before walking away. This might be a good opportunity to check and see if she was upholding her part of the deal. Yes, the fact that she had recanted her statement and admitted Emma never knew about the gun Maxine had brought that day, had helped. She’d told the truth too damn late, after Emma already served a prison sentence and was sent to the halfway house. If Maxine had any agenda here, Jayce’s assignment might give her a chance to find out.

  Minutes later, she sat in Tanner’s office, further establishing her persona. After answering some of the introductory questions, Jayce ventured into more hazardous territory.

  “Is it true that a woman killed herself in here? I wonder why she did it.”

  Elizabeth Tanner looked up from her notes, visibly startled.

  “Do you have suicidal thoughts sometimes?”

  If Jayce wasn’t careful, the conversation could go down an entirely different road.

  “No. I want to do whatever it takes to get out of here as soon as possible. Just curious, that’s all. These things don’t happen out of nowhere, do they?”

  “I’m sorry, I can’t discuss another patient with you. Given your goals, it would make sense to focus on you in the time we have, don’t you think?”

  “I suppose. I’m a little freaked out by the idea that something might have happened to her in here—that made her do it.”

  “I can assure you we take security very seriously, for the staff and the patients. If you see or hear something that concerns you, you should tell one of us right away, but you don’t have to worry. This is a safe place.” The notepad trembled slightly in her hands.

  “You really think so?”

  “I do, but it’s important for you to work on a detailed plan of what you need to achieve. After all, there’s a reason why you’re here.”

  “…and not in a prison, you mean? I’m sure you read all about the stupid stunt at the pharmacy. Someone got hurt. That was a nasty wake up call.”

  “I can imagine. How are you doing at the moment?”

  Jayce shrugged, starting to play with the loose braid again.

  “I didn’t mean to kill anyone. I try not to think about it.”

  In fact, that was the easy part. Jayce never had to shoot to kill anyone before, in fact she’d hardly ever had to draw her weapon. The part where her story merged with J. C.’s…that was a different ball game.

  “It’s hard to ignore. Your verdict would have been a different one if no one got hurt.”

  “I’m aware of that, okay?”

  Jayce noticed the slight quiver to Tanner’s voice, her eyes welling up. What was she feeling guilty about? If she still thought Gillian Thorne had taken her own life, then she might feel responsible for not seeing the signs. Maybe there hadn’t been any signs and someone else had instead decided to get rid of a witness. The truth might help ease her mind too.

  “You started to abuse prescription meds after your accident?”

  “That’s right. It was tough before, keeping up with the college kids. They always had something on hand. After the accident, the doctor prescribed some pills, but I ran out faster than I should have. I tried different pharmacies, alternatives, begged the doctor…at some point none of that worked, but I was still in pain. I was unemployed at the time, and I couldn’t seem to catch a break. It all went pretty much downhill from there.”

  It could have. The memory was still chilling, making her shudder. Emma wasn’t the only one who was lucky to have gotten second chances.

  “You haven’t had access to any drugs in a while. How are you feeling?”

  “Restless. Tired,” Jayce said which was the truth, but hardly related to the past anymore. “I’m doing okay, but I’m also scared of what comes afterward. Getting a job and all that shit.”

  “You already know it won’t be easy, but taking responsibility is an important first step. You won’t get around that.” Dr. Tanner sighed, absentminded for a moment. “Make sure you don’t miss your classes. They have some important practical information for you. We’ll see how it goes. If you can manage to uphold structure, that will make it easier for you when it’s time to think about a job.”

  “I’ll do that. Thanks, Doctor.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  The timing was perfect. She could have that cigarette with Maxine and test her a little, while asking about Tanner. Afterwards, she’d find the nurse to ask her for some sleep medication. Everything was going according to plan so far.

  * * * *

  When Emma’s alarm rang, it wasn’t much later than the time Jayce had left the morning before. Elvis gave her an accusatory look before she curled up again in the middle of the bed.

  “Yeah, I know, sorry,” Emma mumbled. “This will be over soon, I promise.” She wanted to go to the store before starting her shift at the ward, in order to prepare some orders for Kitty. She was already feeling guilty even though Kitty and Daniel had been nothing but supportive. Could she do it? Any of it? Manage the store while Kitty opened a new one, or get another degree in a new field?

  The past few weeks had been stressful, but also filled with hopes and dreams, about her new future, with Jayce, with new possibilities for a career. Now that she had to make a decision, she was nervous, about making mistakes, taking the wrong path again.

  She waited in the cool morning air for the first bus, then walked the ten minutes to the store where she worked quickly, finishing the paperwork before daylight arrived. If Kitty was okay with that, she could even bring some work home. It wasn’t like she had a lot to do there at the moment. Anything to keep her mind off the fact that Jayce might be in close quarters with a murderer—behind locked doors.

  At the ward, Tess showed her the computer system and told her about her work as a psychiatric nurse, encouraging Emma to take notes.

  “We have a multi-dimensional approach here that is pretty unique,” she said. “You know I’m studying to become a therapist as well, so I go to their meetings when time allows. There’s a class I have developed with Dr. Tanner. You’ll help me do my job, so it’s important for you to know your way around.”

  “I can do that,” Emma said.

  “Good. For the class this morning, I give this information material to all participants. I’d like you to make copies for everyone, and check who’s present later.” She laughed. “I promise it will get a little more exciting than that.”

  “Oh, I’m okay with that. I imagine every day is different.”

  “You could say that.” A shadow crossed her face, so quickly Emma thought she might have imagined it.

  “Do you plan to train to be a nurse?” Tess asked.

  “I’m not sure yet,” Emma said honestly which prompted a curious look from the nurse. They had to be about the same age, and maybe it was surprising that she hadn’t figured out her choices yet. She didn’t care to go into detail, and continued her notes. She had imagined the work would be interesting. Emma almost forgot about the true reason why she had sought out a job at this specific institution, but she soon got a reminder.

  Tess’s class was about the dynamics of addiction and how to break the cycle. Thinking back to prison and later, the halfway house, Emma found she had a somewhat jaded opinion on the subject, but maybe this program was really unique. Some would make it out, either way. At least the staff seemed to care and see the complexity of each case—most of them anyway.

  The classroom filled slowly, and Emma stood behind Tess, experiencing a bit of stage fright now that her idea had become real.

  She was both excited and nervous to see Jayce walk into the room, do a double take and then slump into a chair as if b
ored. Even though she anticipated that Jayce would not be too happy with her decision, Emma couldn’t help being fascinated by the change in her stance, her mannerisms, the clothes. She seemed like a completely different person. It had been easier to reconcile her identity at the halfway house with the woman she had come to know.

  While Tess began the class, she started to distribute the materials. Jayce shot her an incredulous look when she passed her by, but didn’t say anything. Emma hoped that she’d have a minute to explain. Regardless, she wouldn’t take it personally. She knew Jayce had to keep in character, do her job. Emma would do hers.

  She went through the list of names, checking the boxes when the door opened again, and she had to physically take a step backwards, distance herself from the woman walking inside, and the memories.

  Yes, there was one more empty desk and an extra set of class materials.

  They belonged to Maxine. Emma’s first impulse was to run, to admit that she was in over her head. All of this was true, yet she stayed and tried to keep the emotion out of her expression. This was not a coincidence. She knew Maxine had asked to be transferred in exchange for adjusting her statement in Emma’s favor. She could have taken a moment to check the patients’ list.

  The class began, and Emma had to compose herself. She couldn’t help feeling like she was watching the scene from the outside. She couldn’t afford to acknowledge Maxine’s surprised smile, or Jayce’s tense posture. The two of them being in the same room made Emma uncomfortable. She had made a choice though. It was this, or be on her own for two, maybe three long weeks.

  Then it was finally over. Jayce was one of the first ones to leave the class. Much as she wanted to, Emma couldn’t run after her. She helped Tess gather the materials and pretended not to notice that Maxine was lingering.

  “Do you have any questions, Ms. Brown?” Tess asked her.

  “No, thanks. See you next time.”

  She sauntered out of the room, and Emma looked after her dejectedly, wondering if she’d taken on too much. Managing the greeting card store looked like such a better choice at this point—if only she had known.

  They returned to the infirmary afterwards. Emma had a hard time concentrating on her assigned task, stocking the recently ordered drugs into the locked cabinets. Now, in a safer distance from Maxine, she thought about Jayce’s undercover persona, slightly familiar and yet different from the one she’d met in the halfway house. It was a bit strange, yet, Emma had to admit, and thrilling at the same time. This time, one could say that she was undercover too.

  A sharp rap to the office door made her spin around. She could see Tess getting up from her desk to let Jayce—J.C.—in.

  “Ms. Turner, what can I do for you?”

  Emma locked the cabinet and inched closer to the open door.

  “I can’t sleep,” Jayce said. “I want you to give me something.”

  “I’m afraid it’s not that easy. I have to clear it with Dr. Simmons, and even then, there are other options. You could talk to…”

  “I don’t want to talk to anyone. I need to sleep, okay?”

  Emma flinched, but had to admire Jayce’s talent for precision. She was raising her voice enough to get on Tess’s radar, but not enough for the nurse to call security right there and then.

  She went into the office, earning irritated looks from both women.

  “Fresh air helps me. I leave the window open most nights.”

  “Great idea. You realize that the windows in our rooms don’t open?”

  Emma felt her face turn beet red. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s not helping my problem. Isn’t there anything you can give me? Please! I’m about to go crazy.”

  “I’ll take a look. Like I said, I’ll have to clear it with Dr. Simmons first. Wait here.” Exasperated, Tess got up to go to the other room, opening a small window of opportunity.

  Jayce summed up the situation in a way that left no room to argue. “What the hell were you thinking? You can’t be in this place. Whatever this is, you have to quit right now.”

  “I’ll be okay,” Emma said. “I’m working as a nurse’s aide, and after that, who knows…”

  “No, no, no. You’re going home.”

  “Come on. Yes, I was a bit startled to see Maxine, but I swear, I can handle it. I want to be here.”

  “You can’t!” Jayce’s frustration came across clearly even though she couldn’t raise her voice at this moment. “This is not about Maxine. There’s likely a murderer in here, and I don’t want you to be anywhere near him or her. Do you understand that?”

  Emma understood just fine, but before she could answer, Tess returned.

  “Dr. Simmons is out for today. I’m really sorry.”

  “Yeah, I got that. Have a nice day, Ms. Curtis.”

  “What was that all about?” Tess asked with a frown.

  “I’m not sure,” Emma confessed, “but not sleeping makes me grumpy too.”

  Tess sighed. “They try any way they can. You know Turner’s file? She was hooked on prescription meds, took part in the armed robbery of a pharmacy. Believe me, Dr. Simmons will have none of this.”

  “What can we do? Are there other classes maybe…” Emma had to remind herself that she was empathizing with a problem that was most likely made up, but she couldn’t help it. In the halfway house, and before that, in prison, she’d had trouble sleeping, and little access to resources which could help solve the problem.

  “There’s only so much funding we get,” Tess said. “This is not the worst problem we or they are facing.”

  “I just thought…never mind.”

  “Okay. Let’s go back to work.”

  * * * *

  Jayce hated being this harsh with Emma, but she only had a couple of minutes or so to make her point. It was important that she did. Maxine Brown was only a minor distraction, maybe a help even, but to think of Emma in this place…Jayce knew that she would probably be fine if she stayed under the radar. Whoever had killed Gillian Thorne was unlikely to go after employees next, but she didn’t want to take the chance.

  There was always time to apologize.

  She had heard rumors that some of the nurses were quick to give out medication. That either wasn’t true for Tess, or she’d been hesitant with Emma around.

  “Hey. You don’t look too happy. Had to sit through some boring class?” Eileen’s presence jolted her out of her thoughts.

  “Something like that,” she mumbled. Jayce hoped she hadn’t crossed a line making Emma feel like she needed to prove anything. Jayce needed her out of here. She followed Eileen into the canteen. Maxine wasn’t too far behind. She didn’t mention Emma which was a relief. Jayce had too much on her mind as it was.

  “You’ve been here for a couple of days only, but you’re asking a lot of questions,” Eileen remarked.

  “Why not? I want to get a feel for the place. Someone killing themselves a few weeks before they send me here, I’m a bit freaked out by that. Seems like Tanner is too.”

  “I’d be careful,” Eileen said.

  That was definitely a conversation worth following. “Yeah? Why is that?”

  “The last girl who wanted to know all about Gillian ended up medicated out of her wits. Simmons signed off on it.”

  “He seems like a creep, but do you think he has anything to hide? You mentioned—”

  “J. C., a word of advice. Eat your meals. Go to your classes, do your work, bide your time. Make sure you don’t sit too close to him, that’s all.”

  That didn’t come as much of a surprise, but it might be connected to the incident with a male patient, and Thorne’s murder. She had to find out if Tanner knew anything.

  She had to make a phone call. Jayce knew she couldn’t go through official channels. She had something to report, so there was nothing wrong with a personal request along with the information.

  After the doors were locked, she took the small cell phone out of its hiding place only the di
rector knew about. He was supposed to warn her in case there were any raids. For now, it was her tentative link to the outside world.

  Daniel picked up on the first ring.

  “I can’t speak for long. I know Simmons doesn’t have a record, but I want you to dig a little deeper, see if anything with regard to sexual harassment comes up. I want to know if Dr. Tanner or any one else ever filed a complaint that someone might have erased, and tell Emma to get the hell out of here.”

  “Here? By that you mean what exactly? Kitty saw her earlier today. She’s fine. How are you?”

  “I’m not kidding. Convince her.”

  “What a minute, Jayce, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  It occurred to her that this made sense. Emma had planned it all by herself. Of course she’d told neither Kitty nor Daniel.

  “She took a job as a nurse’s aide, here in this place. I need you to make sure she reconsiders that idea. It’s bad. I’m relying on you. It’s not like I can do much about it from here.”

  “Wow,” he said.

  “That’s all?” Jayce asked incredulously.

  “She told us about the job. We had no idea where exactly it was. I’ll talk to her, okay? It’s not like I can make her quit, but I think she’ll understand.”

  “Okay. Good. I’ll call you in two days. Let me know what you have then.”

  “Will do. Be careful.”

  “I know what I’m doing,” she said, disconnected the call and hid the phone again. Afterwards, she lay awake for a long time. No matter how righteous she knew her reaction had been, she still felt bad. Emma was working hard on building a life after serving a prison sentence while innocent. She wanted to support her, and at the same time acknowledge that Emma knew how to take care of herself.

  Most of all, Jayce wanted these weeks to be over so she could go home to her. She still had a murderer to find.

  ** * * *

  Emma had another sleepless night with Elvis curled up at her feet, then on the pillow next to hers, just as restless as her human. She jumped, her heart instantly racing when the doorbell rang. While Elvis was off to hide, she resisted the impulse, put on a robe instead and went to open the door. She nearly fainted when she saw who it was. That could only mean bad news, couldn’t it?