Faith in Rayne

by Dannie Marsden

“Ya don’t if ya cain’t remember ya got one.”

  “Please, not you too.” Etta slammed her hairbrush down on her vanity and turned to face her husband.

  “Etta, Rayne took one hell of a blow to her noggin’, it might have scrambled her brain a bit. And honestly, Maddie is a force all on her own.”

  “You did not just say that to me.”

  “Say what? You asked my honest opinion.” Harry sat up.

  “Maddie is a force all on her own…really, does that mean she’s entertained you?” Etta stood up and placed her hands on her hips.

  “Whoa, hold on there. Ya can’t ask my opinion and then be mad when I give it to ya. Have I been to bed with her? No! But come on, ya know I ain’t no saint when we ain’t together. I ain’t, however, stupid enough to bed another woman when we are. All I’m sayin’ is, when Maddie gets somethin’ in her head she goes after it full force.

  “Yes, well she went after my best friend’s wife. I don’t like it, and I don’t like her. She is a manipulative bitch.” Etta turned to face the window.

  Harry sighed then stood up from his place on the bed and walked towards her. When he stopped behind her, he tenderly reached out and turned her to face him. With his eyes looking deep into hers he softly asked, “Etta, what’s really botherin’ ya?”

  Etta wiped a tear away. “I’m afraid…Harry, you didn’t see ‘em together back in Willow Springs. I swear, if there was ever two people that loved each other, it was them. What would happen to us if some Maddie decided to set her eyes on you?”

  Harry sighed and pulled her tightly against him. “Etta, darlin’, that ain’t never gonna happen. There ain’t a woman out there that compares to you.”

  “But you just said you have other women when we aren’t together,” Etta replied, as more tears fell.

  “It’s only for a night’s entertainment. It’s a roll in the hay nothin’ more. This afternoon, Rayne and I was jawin’, ya know, before she collapsed. She was tellin’ me, and she didn’t realize she was even sayin’ this, but she’s right. She was sayin’ there’s women ya can talk to and be friends with, who know your moods and care about your day, then there’s women like Maddie always ready for fun, but nothin’ else. Don’t take this wrong, but with you, I got me the best of both worlds. Look, what I’m sayin’ is, I love you with all my heart, and there ain’t no room in it for anyone else.”

  “Oh, Harry, don’t you see? That’s what Rayne told Lisbet before we left the ranch too. And look at where they are.”

  “Rayne is lost right now, but deep inside she knows where her heart is. She will find her way back. And Lisbet don’t know it, but she’ll be there waitin’ to welcome Rayne back with arms wide open.”

  “How do you know that?”

  †

  The next morning, Maddie was at Doc Granger’s office bright and early, demanding to see Rayne. “Now, Maddie, I already told ya that Rayne needs her rest.”

  “She’s been restin’ all night. I demand to see her. I wanna know what’s wrong with her.” Maddie’s eyes flashed with anger.

  Rayne, who had been able to hear the commotion outside her door, got to her feet and reached for the robe that lay at the foot of the bed. She slipped it on and slowly walked to the door and opened it. “Jesus Christ, Maddie, give it a rest. It’s okay, Doc; I’ll talk to her. Uh, there ain’t been anyone else askin’ to see me has there?”

  “No, not yet. I’m sorry Rayne.” Doc glared at Maddie, who merely smiled smugly.

  As soon as the doc had turned to walk away, Maddie began, “Who else ya expectin’? That woman that barged in on us yesterday? Who was she? What’d she want with you?”

  “It don’t concern you, so don’t go worryin’ about it.” Rayne made her way back to the room she had just come out of.

  “I’m sorry, but it does concern me. She acted like she had some claim on you. Clearly, she didn’t know about us. Who is she Rayne?”

  Rayne’s head began to pound again, and she rubbed her temples. “I done told ya it don’t matter.”

  “Rayne, I don’t believe you’re thinkin’ clearly. I’m the one that nursed you back to health. I’m the one that’s devoted my time to you. We are a couple, and I’ll not have you messin’ around on me. Ya hear me?” Maddie pushed Rayne’s shoulder.

  Rayne whipped around, her blue eyes ice cold and her voice even colder. “No, I don’t think you are thinkin’ clearly. I didn’t ask you to nurse me or devote your time to me. You done that all on your own. And do you honestly believe you have any right to talk to me about messin’ around on you, let alone talk to me in that tone of voice? Let’s get one thing straight here; you’re the whore, and you have lied to me from the beginnin’.”

  Without thinking Maddie reached her hand out and slapped Rayne across the face. “How dare you…”

  Rayne’s head snapped back, and her hand shot up and grabbed the redhead's wrist. She pulled her close as she growled low and deep. “Do not make the mistake of thinkin’ you’ll ever do that again. I dare because that’s what you are. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Does this ring a bell… ‘no one wants us together, Etta, Harry, Hawks, they’re all against us?’” Rayne pushed Maddie away from her. “I asked Harry about that, he didn’t seem to recall me ever even behavin’ like I was courtin’ ya. Now, I gotta ask why that is?”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you like that. I wasn’t thinking. And I told ya that Harry and them don’t want us together. Of course, he’s gonna tell ya that he’d never have said anything like that. Honey, come on, let's put this behind us. Let’s go back to my room. I’ll get us some breakfast and take care of ya.” Maddie approached Rayne again.

  Rayne gave a laugh of disbelief as she backed away. “You really just don’t understand do ya? Ya know what, just…my head is throbbing, I’m gonna go back to bed,”

  “Rayne, enough of this. Come on, let’s get you home and I’ll put you in bed.” Maddie once again walked towards Rayne.

  That’s when Rayne shouted, “Leave now!”

  Maddie was still walking towards Rayne, when Doc opened the door. His voice made it clear there was no room for Maddie to argue, “It’s time for you to go, Maddie. Rayne is my patient, and she needs rest.”

  Maddie took a breath and, with a huff, turned on her heel. “Fine. I’ll be back later this afternoon. Maybe then you’ll be in a mood to listen to reason.” She passed Doc in the doorway. “Doc, as always, good to see you.”

  As soon as the woman had left, Rayne collapsed down on the edge of the bed, dropping her head into her hands. The pain was taking its toll on her.

  Doc quickly moved to her side. He reached for the water pitcher and poured some in the basin. He soaked a cloth in the cold water and wrung it out. “Rayne, come on, lay back. I know it hurts, this'll help.” He applied the cold cloth to Rayne’s forehead.

  “Just give me some of the medicine, Doc, it helps,” Rayne said through a wave of nausea.

  “Now, we talked about that last night. I think it’s best if we try to work through these headaches without it.”

  “I agreed when I wasn’t hurtin’ so damned much. Now, I’ve changed my mind.”

  “I’m here ta help ya through this. It’ll pass.”

  Rayne’s head eventually began to calm and she fell asleep. Doc sighed, took the washbowl, and left the room.

  †

  “How is she?” his wife asked, as he walked into the kitchen with the bowl.

  She poured him a cup of hot coffee and put a plate of biscuits and jam on the table, as he poured the water out.

  “Restin’ right now, fortunately, this time she didn’t demand laudanum, just suggested it. Don’t mean she won’t next time. It’s gonna get worse before she kicks this.”

  “That Maddie don’t help none, I’m sure. I told ya a long time ago, anyone that got mixed up with that one was in for a long, hard time of it.”

  “Maddie don’t mean no harm.” Doc stopped, thought, and amended his words. “
Maddie’s a handful, that’s for sure. She’s just lookin’ for what we all are.”

  “Hm, no sir, not that one. That one thinks she is more deservin’ than anyone else. You should see her when she’s in the mercantile, always lookin’ down her nose at things there. Behaves like she’s doin’ the Olsens a favor by shoppin’ there.”

  Doc sat down and ran his fingers through his hair, his head back as he stretched his neck. “Sounds like Maddie.” He sighed, reaching for the hot cup of coffee. “I do know that whatever was goin’ on with them two, Rayne is feelin’ pretty much like she was tricked into it.”

  “I gotta say I kinda feel bad for the deputy. Seems too nice to have to deal with that one.”

  “Yup.” Doc smeared jam on a biscuit and took a bite. “Mm hmm, I do believe this here is some of the best jam you’ve ever made.”

  Chapter Ten

  Rayne shook and shivered through nights of horrible withdrawals, still dealt with the headaches, and of course, Maddie, who wasn’t taking Rayne’s change in heart too well. Even though Rayne wanted to say the hell with it and demand laudanum, she didn’t. She’d lost a good six months of her life and made one gigantic mistake due to her addiction; she was determined to kick it. And with the clearing of the drug, she slowly began to remember things.

  She went to work, and she walked the town. Occasionally, she would stop in at the bar for a drink, maybe a hand or two of cards, and she would ride out with Harry and Hawks looking for land. The one thing she hadn’t been able to do was get Lisbet to talk to her.

  One day, she’d stopped at the bar. The piano was playing a lively tune; she and the boys were playing cards, joking and laughing. Maddie walked up behind Rayne and put her arm over her shoulder. “Hello, darlin’, so ya can come play cards but not to see me?” Her voice was tinted with anger and frustration.

  Immediately, Rayne’s attitude changed, gone were the laughter and the smile. “Boys, I think I’m played out.”

  “Oh come on, Rayne, ya can’t take our money then run and not give us a chance to win it back,” one of the boys said loudly.

  Rayne had shrugged away Maddie’s arm and pushed her chair away from the table. “Sorry fella’s, I gotta head back to work.” She put her black Stetson on her head and started for the swinging doors. Maddie followed.

  Lisbet had been walking towards the mercantile across the street, when Rayne came through the swinging doors. It had been Maddie’s loud voice as she hollered Rayne’s name that made Lisbet turn in their direction. She looked over just as Rayne caught sight of her. Lisbet went to turn but not before seeing Maddie turn Rayne’s face towards her own, placing what appeared to Lisbet as a passionate kiss, smack on Rayne’s lips.

  Lisbet quickened her pace, and Rayne quickly went after her. Maddie tossed her head back in laughter.

  “Lisbet, wait, please,” Rayne yelled, as she ran across the street.

  Lisbet stopped, gathered as much dignity and grace as she could, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath before she turned. “Rayne, I don’t have anything to say to you. I need to get some items for Etta and get back to Ben.”

  “Can I…I can help you with shoppin’, and um, maybe give you a ride back to Etta and Harry’s. Maybe see Ben?” Rayne asked.

  “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea, but I suppose it isn’t fair of me to keep Ben away from you. If you want, I’ll have Etta or Harry bring him into town tomorrow, and you can work somethin’ out with them. I don’t believe you need me around for that.”

  “Lisbet, please.” Rayne nervously fiddled with her hat.

  “Rayne, I don’t think there is anything for us to say to each other. I need to go.” Lisbet turned back towards the door of the mercantile.

  “Lisbet, II have things to say. I just need you to listen to me to try to understand.”

  “Not now. I’m not ready to hear anything you may have to say. Now, please, leave me alone.” Lisbet walked away, leaving Rayne standing on the wooden sidewalk.

  Rayne put the hat back on her head, turned, and walked towards the hotel.

  †

  The next morning, there was a knock on her door. When Rayne answered, she was surprised to see Harry and Ben standing on the other side. True to her word, Lisbet had sent Ben for a visit. As soon as the door opened, the excited little boy took one look at her and flew at her. When the little arms wrapped around her legs and she heard the tiny voice excitedly cry “Ma!” all the memories came flooding back to her. She was able to recall the first time she’d laid eyes on Lisbet. She remembered Dobson, her father. She remembered the day her brother showed up, dying of influenza, and finding Ben’s mother had already passed away. She remembered losing her brother to death a few hours later. Most of all, she remembered making a home and a family with Lisbet and Ben. She remembered how happy and complete her life was.

  As she hugged the little boy, tears fell. “Ma, why you cryin’?” His tiny hand reached out to brush at the tears.

  “Just because, baby, just because.”

  Harry cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets. “So um, I’m gonna let you two, uh, catch up. I’ll be over at the sheriff’s office.”

  Rayne looked up at him. She saw his discomfort and the lopsided lift of the corner of his mouth. “Thank you, Harry. I don’t know what to say other than that.”

  “Yup, of course. Hey, tiger, I’ll see ya in a little while,” Harry said to Ben, as he winked and turned to walk down the hallway.

  Rayne looked at Ben and smiled as she hugged him again even tighter. Her voice was soft and low in his ear, “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “Ma, I see Uliet peas?”

  “Aw baby, I wish we could, but remember she is at home with Romeo and Apache. I promise you, once I get us a place here, we’ll send for them all. Alright? Maybe we’ll even see about getting you your own pony. What d’ya think about that?” She realized that she was remembering things about her life before Telluride.

  Ben’s face lit up. “I want puppy too!”

  “Well, I suppose we should talk to Momma about that. Don’t ya think?”

  “Ma, tell Momma want puppy. Her will listen you.”

  Rayne swallowed hard through the lump in her throat, as she prayed that she got the chance to put things right. “We’ll see, baby.” She cleared her throat and said, “So, what do you say we go for a walk, and you can meet Ranger. Then I’ll introduce ya to my boss, Sheriff Hawks.”

  “Who’s Ranger?”

  “Well, Ranger is my new horse. He’s an Appaloosa, and rumor has it he likes little boys named Ben!”

  Ben’s eyes grew big and excited. “He know me?”

  Rayne threw her head back as she laughed, and she reached for her hat. “Oh yeah, he knows all about ya. And he told me that he is so excited to finally meet ya. So come on, let's go. I bet he’s hopin’ that ya bring him some carrots or an apple.”

  Together, they walked down the boardwalk, hand in hand. Rayne told her son about their new town and new friends, and Ben asked questions, just chattering about whatever popped into his head.

  On their way back from the stables, Maddie, who had been standing outside the saloon, spotted Rayne. “Rayne, hey darlin’.” She hurried across the street to the pair.

  Rayne smiled at Ben. “Come on, Ben, let’s walk a bit faster ok?”

  Unfortunately for Rayne, Maddie caught up to them. Maddie had a big smile on her face as she approached. “Hey there, darlin’, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you was ignorin’ me.” She wrapped an arm around Rayne’s shoulder and leaned in to kiss her.

  Rayne pulled away from the kiss and shot an ice cold look at the woman, who ignored it. “Oh, darlin’, you need to relax. I can help ya with that.” She smirked, then looked down at the little boy and back at Rayne. “Whose kid ya got taggin’ along with ya?”

  “He’s my son. And I’d appreciate if it ya showed a tad bit of decency.”

  Maddie laughed. “I’m sorry, I thought I heard ya s
ay he’s your son.” Her eyes held shock. “You got a kid…and ya never told me.” Maddie’s displeasure crept into her voice.

  “Maddie I suggest ya…” Rayne started when her eyes caught sight of Lisbet walking briskly towards them.

  “Rayne Coulter Mathews, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your…women…away from my son.” Lisbet angrily approached them and reached for Ben’s hand.

  “Women…oh honey, you got it all wrong, I’m the only woman that matters here. Now tell me, just who are you?” Maddie laughed loudly.

  Lisbet grew red at the words. Rayne could see the effort it took to keep the tears and anger from showing. “Ben, come along.” She took her son’s hand.

  “Lisbet, wait,” Rayne said. She got louder as she watched Lisbet continue to walk away. “God dammit, I said wait.” She watched Lisbet stop and turned to Maddie and with ice cold words, “You will never speak to my wife like that again. Ya hear me? In fact, you will never approach her, our son, or me again, ever. Mark my words, if ya do, it’ll be the last thing ya ever do.” Rayne turned to walk towards Lisbet and Ben.

  “Darlin’.” Maddie reached out to stop Rayne. Rayne spun on her heel, and before she realized it, her hand made contact with Maddie's cheek.

  Maddie shrieked, as Rayne walked away towards Lisbet and Ben.

  “We need to talk.” Rayne walked down the boardwalk with her family. She rubbed her hand.

  “Did you really just…” Lisbet asked. She knew Rayne’s life story, and she knew that Rayne had done things to survive, but she had never seen Rayne behave like she just had.

  “I’ll not have a whore disrespect you like that,” Rayne said through clenched teeth. “I …I’m sorry, but we…”

  “Not in front of Ben.”

  “I know, um …” Rayne replied.

  “Ben, what do you say we go see if Harry and Etta want to maybe have a picnic?” Lisbet looked at the little boy with a smile, and then to Rayne. “Care to join us for a late-afternoon picnic if they are agreeable?”

  “I’d love that, thank you. Uh, we can stop off at the sheriff’s office and talk to Harry. He was gonna play a few hands of cards while he waited for Ben.”