Your Loyal Fan

by Sydney Aaliyah Michelle

  Fourteen

  Callie

  I walked the length of the balcony and entered the hotel in the opposite hallway. I blinked away tears as I looked back before heading towards the elevator. I wasn't looking for some dramatic moment like in the movies where Noah runs and grabs me and begs for forgiveness.

  I looked out for him in case I needed to find another exit.

  I rode the elevator up to our floor and when the elevator opened, I took a left and saw no one down the hall. I ran down the hall as fast as my heels would allow while fishing the key out of my bag.

  I stood in the middle of the suite.

  Nip yelped from his crate. I let him out and attached his leash.

  I grabbed my carry on bag and packed it with a change of clothes.

  I rode back down the elevator. It stopped on the second floor. I took a deep breath and held it, hoping no one I knew would be on the other side of the doors.

  My heart sank.

  Preston stood in front of the elevator doors. He had his head cocked to the side grinning and pointing at something.

  "Two minutes."

  He nodded and stepped into the elevator without looking at me.

  When the elevator closed, he tilted his head and his eyes bugged out of his head.

  "Callie."

  "Hey." I said, looking up at the elevator numbers. We weren't moving. "Congratulations."

  "Thank you." He said and narrowed his eyes. "Where are you going? You can't miss the party."

  "I think it's better if I leave," I said and looked down. I sighed when the elevator moved.

  Preston bent down and picked up Nip.

  It was more like Nip jumped into his opened hands.

  Nip settled in his arms and stared up at me as if to ask is this my new daddy? What's his name?

  "So this is the little dog named after the big man," Preston said as he rubbed him between the ears.

  Nip groaned.

  Preston laughed, but stopped when he looked at me. "Callie, he's just having a bit of an identity conflict at the moment." Preston touched my arm. "It's not you."

  "Yeah, well, it sure feels like I'm the one getting crushed under his issues." I took Nip out of his hands and stepped back. "I didn't even want to come here."

  "Why?" The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Preston held the door and ushered me out.

  "Because it would be stressful for him and he doesn't share his stress with me. He shuts me out. Maybe I shouldn't, but I give him room because if I didn't know how to help him at least I knew where he lived."

  "And he always comes back."

  "Yeah, but here. He can't be himself and he can't be the man I know. Where does that leave him?"

  Preston guided me over to the bar off the lobby. He motioned to the bartender who nodded and held up one finger.

  "I know Noah pretty well. Half the time he walks around scared to death of hurting someone and the other half pissed off at those that have hurt him. The only time I haven't seen that side of him is when he talks to me about you."

  "I love him more then anything, but I sometimes get the feeling he'd rather be miserable and alone. Not all the time, but I get glimpses of it. I walk around scared of hurting him or scared of him hurting me." I wiped the tears from my eyes. "It's horrible to say, but I wouldn't be surprised to wake up one day and he'd be gone from my life forever."

  "Oh Callie." Preston pulled me into his arms. He held Nip and I as I tried not to leave snot on his tailored black tuxedo.

  I pushed him away and grabbed some tissues off the bar. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

  "I can't believe this," I said, rolled my eye, and giggled.

  "What?"

  "You just got married and you're down here watching me sob like an idiot." I shook my head. Talking about Noah to someone helped. My mind didn't seem so messed up now that I knew my feeling had some merit. I put Nip down. "You need to get back to your party. I'll be fine."

  "Where are you going?"

  "My sister's." I grabbed another stack of bar napkins for the road. "Don't tell Noah."

  "Even if he asks."

  "He won't ask."

  "I don't believe that."

  "Just." I shrugged my shoulders. "Watch him tonight. Make sure he doesn't get out of control. We'll work all this out tomorrow. I just can't be around him right now, okay."

  "Got it."

  "Give Kate a congratulation hug from me."

  "Now that, I can do

  ." I dragged my suitcase towards the lobby. Nip followed close behind.

  "Callie," Preston yelled.

  I stopped and turned.

  "I won't let him mess this up."

  I nodded and left.

  The bellman had the car brought around. Forty-five minutes later, I stood on my sister’s front porch holding my stomach. I wasn't sure if it was the weight of everything between Noah and I giving me a stomachache or nausea from driving up the winding roads to her place in the Hollywood Hills.

  Corey opened the door a few seconds after I knocked.

  "You moving in?" He said as he reached for my suitcase.

  "For a few nights." He leaned down and kissed my cheek.

  Nip barked.

  "Hello Noah."

  "We call him Nip, now."

  "Oh, yeah, right. Hi Nip." Corey said and shook his head. "So sad. They just took your name."

  I shook my head.

  "Callie." Dani poked her head around the corner. "What are you doing here?"

  "You both are very welcoming." I stood in her foyer. "What? Do you not get visitors?"

  "No one just drops in anymore." Dani pulled on a robe and shuffled towards me and flung herself at me with open arms. "Oh, my little sister."

  "We saw each yesterday," I said, but I loved it. I missed my sister.

  "I know." She held me at arms length. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing."

  "You definitely don't have the after sex glow, today?"

  "Dani!"

  Corey stood a few feet away.

  "Oh, Corey remembers the after sex glow." She poked him in the gut. "Its fades when you get married."

  Corey and his blushing red cheeks ignored her and changed the subject.

  "Hey, we saw the wedding red carpet streaming live. Aren't you supposed to be at the celebrity reception of the year after the celebrity wedding of the year?" Corey walked towards his office off the foyer.

  "It wasn't really my scene," I said.

  "And your famous boyfriend. You left him to enjoy the scene by himself?" Corey asked.

  "Yeah, well, I'm sure he won't even realize I'm gone."

  I dragged my suitcase further into the house and down the hallway to the guest suite. I slide the glass door open that led to the backyard and let Noah out. Her house looked down over the lights in the valley. It was beautiful at night, almost peaceful. I understood why she chose to live up here.

  From this distance, Hollywood seemed almost real.

  Fifteen

  Noah

  I watched her walk away. Each step she took felt like a kick to the balls.

  The stubborn part of me let her walk away, but the desperate, needy part knew I'd follow her.

  I gripped the railing and stared out into the city. Los Angeles wasn't all smog and traffic; it had these pockets of beauty. You had to know where to look. I found beauty all over New York because it had memories of Callie and I painted all over it.

  I fucked up.

  I turned and watched the wedding guests walk into the reception. Everyone happy, coupled up.

  Chad had two girls on his arm already. He thought his life was so enviable. It was sad. Being a bad boy was hard to maintain and the older we got, the more pathetic it looked. It was almost never worth the effort.

  I spotted a few other former teammates and players. I admired Preston's ability to make friends. He was always the one starting the dance in the middle of the room, while I brooded on the side, holding up the wall.

/>   I never want to be the center of attention, but I did want to be the best, which put me in the limelight. People judged me either way.

  Leave it to Preston to remind me I didn't have to be anything to anybody as long as I was true to myself.

  I messed with him for his Zen like philosophy, but it made sense.

  The situation with my ex messed me up. It was unfair to make Callie suffer for it.

  "Noah."

  A soft voice with a Hispanic accent brought me out of my moment of internal reflection.

  God, stop doing that.

  I turned and watched Maria swaying her hips in my direction.

  She took tentative steps, her hands clasped. She stopped a few feet from me and struck a pose giving me her best side profile. She wore a red dress that clung to her curves and showed off her tits and her ass. She bit her red lips, tilted her head and smiled.

  "Hey Maria." I leaned back on the railing and cursed my life.

  "You look great," she said as she ran a hand over her hip.

  I narrowed my eyes.

  She dropped her hand to her side and squared her shoulders.

  "What are you doing here?" I asked.

  "Don't I look great, too?" She asked, and whispered something in Spanish.

  I cringed, but held my tongue. I turned and stared out into the city.

  "Noah." She said my name with a tone of panic.

  I hated that sound, too. She was a drunken hook up that lasted way too long and ended in horror. Why did she think we were friends?

  "What do you want?"

  "I never got a chance to tell you how sorry I was about what happened." She pleaded.

  "About what you did."

  "Yes." She nodded her expression almost sincere.

  I nodded back.

  We remained silent for a while. I hoped she would give up and go inside, but she didn't.

  "I meet Callie. She's gorgeous."

  I lifted my head, spun on my heels, and stalked towards her.

  "What did you say to her?"

  "Nothing." Maria held up her hands and took a step back. "She didn't really want to hear anything I had to say."

  I stepped back. I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath.

  "If I was her, I'd want to hear everything. At least confirm what I was getting into, but she seemed to know you pretty well."

  "Why do you say that?" I cocked my head.

  "When I told her you were a good guy, she said she knew that already."

  I turned away.

  "Wait. She knew it already, and I believed her." She touched my arm.

  "What do you mean?"

  "She believes in you. It was all over her face. I don't have a bad thing to say about you, except for the way you ended things. I didn't go into that, but she was ready to defend you." Maria squeezed my arm. "I'm happy you found someone. You deserve it."

  I blinked and turned away.

  "Noah." She stood behind me, her hand on my back. "What's wrong?"

  "She believes in me. I don't deserve her."

  "That's not true," Maria said. She walked around me and gripped my forearms. "You deserve to be loved and taken care of. You deserve to be happy. If she does that for you, then take it. Don't push her away."

  "Is that what I did to you?" I asked.

  She dropped her hands and hugged herself.

  "I don't know." She shook her head. "Maybe. I know one night stand groupie to wife is a long shot, but you treated me really good for a little while. I guess I got hooked and then you were done with me. I went insane for a minute because I didn't want to let you go."

  "Maria." I ran my knuckles along her cheek.

  She shivered under my touch.

  I withdrew my hand and shoved both of them in my pocket.

  "I’m sorry, too," I said. "About everything."

  "Thank you. I appreciate that." She slid her hands over her hips.

  "So, where is Callie?" she asked.

  "I don't know. I guess upstairs. I'll go find her."

  "No." Maria held up her hand, "No le digas cómo te sientes, muéstrela."

  "Maria." I groaned.

  "You lived in San Diego for four years and didn't learn any Spanish." She shook her head, "Don't just tell her how you feel, show her."

  "I don't know." I narrowed my eyes.

  "Any girl who tells you she doesn't like the grand gesture is a liar." She held her hand out. "And, it's almost Valentine's Day."

  "She hates Valentine's Day."

  "Again, lie," Maria sang.

  I laughed.

  "Trust me. Do something big. She'll forgive you in an instant and you'll bank a few points for when you screw up the next time." Maria took my arm and guided us back towards the party.

  As soon as we entered the ballroom, she stopped. Terrance stood at the bar near the entrance, downing a shot and staring at Maria's hand on my arm.

  "You and Terrance?" I asked.

  Maria shrugged her shoulders. "I'm still trying."

  She leaned up and kissed my cheek.

  Terrance stiffened and stomped towards us, she went to intercept him and I weaved my way through the tables to the other side of the ballroom and out the back. I took the elevator down to the lobby and over to the concierge desk.

  "Hi Mr. Patrick."

  "Hi. I know this is late notice, but I need to do something for my girlfriend for Valentine's Day."

  "What did you have in mind?"

  "Uhm, maybe flowers, champagne."

  "There's a jewelry store." He pointed across the lobby.

  "Naw, I have a gift for her, but it's back home." We agreed not to do anything, but I got her something under the guise of a gift for little Noah. They both were going to love it, but it was back home in our apartment.

  "Flowers. A dozen, two?"

  "Twelve."

  "Twelve dozen."

  "Yeah."

  "Okay. I can put something together." He typed something in his computer. "When do you want it delivered?

  "At midnight."

  The guy looked at his watch.

  "No matter the cost. Please try and get it done." My tone verged on the wrong side of begging.

  He nodded.

  I headed back up towards the party feeling good.

  She'd get the flowers and I'd enter seconds later and beg her forgiveness. Some things are worth begging for.

  "Hey buddy." Preston came up behind me and hugged me, the bottle of Louis XIII de Remy Martin bounced off my chest.

  "Hey." I gripped the bottle. "Easy with that fifteen hundred dollar bottle."

  "I feel like celebrating. You want to know why?" Preston asked.

  I shook my head.

  "Because, I just got married, dude," he said in his surfer tone he used to imitate me. Even thought I grew up in Texas like him.

  I rolled my eyes.

  He opened the bottle and took a sip.

  "Tonight's going to be epic," he said and handed me the bottle.

  I took a small sip.

  Tonight was going to epic. I couldn't wait until midnight.

  Sixteen

  Callie

  A soft knock on the door woke me up. I felt like I laid down a few seconds ago. Nip had pulled his blanket out of his pack and made a little bed on the floor.

  "Come in."

  "Hey." Dani walked in. "You up?"

  "I am now." I sat up.

  "I can't sleep." She slid under the cover next to me.

  "Why? What's wrong?" I asked.

  She sat up.

  "I'm worried about you, dummy."

  "Me." I placed my hand on my chest. "Why are you worried about me? I'm fine."

  "Then why are you running away again?"

  "I'm not running away." Was I? I pushed the covers off and stood up.

  "You do this you know."

  I stood with my hands on my hips and the nauseous feeling returned to my belly.

  "Do what?"

  "You run. Things don't go
your way and you run," She said. "Not sticking around for the end doesn't mean you can stop it from happening."

  "Why is this all my fault?" I blinked to stop the tears. It manifested in anger instead. "I'm so sick and tired of people telling me how I act."

  "Well, you know that's what adults do to people who act like children."

  I looked at the door and back at her.

  Dani raised her eyebrows as if I was about to prove her point.

  I turned around and saw the door to the patio, at least this exit I didn't have to see her face.

  I stepped outside, beyond the end of the patio up to the short fence that marked the end of her property. I hugged myself and peered over at the twenty-foot drop. I couldn't see the bottom, but I knew it was lined with jagged rocks.

  "Don't jump." Dani came up behind me.

  Nip must have believed her because he ran up barking and stood between the edge and me.

  I looked down at him, peered over my shoulder and laughed.

  Dani laughed, too.

  I picked Nip up and hugged him to me. I cradled him in my arms and he rewarded me with little doggy kisses.

  "I swear that dog thinks he's ten feet tall," Dani said.

  I kissed Nip and then sat him down.

  "I don't know what to do." I moved back into the house and wrapped the blankets around me.

  "What you need to do is go back to the hotel, wake Noah up and talk this out." She grabbed my hand. "If it's over, then it's over, but at least you will know."

  "I don't want to lose him."

  "Then tell him that, but don't walk around in this relationship purgatory. You'll wake up in ten years and think, where the heck did my life go and who is this person laying next to me."

  "Relationship purgatory?" I asked and narrowed my eyes.

  "Yeah, great concept, right. One of my clients is doing a piece on it."

  "Speaking of pieces, I think I'm going to need an agent," I said.

  "Really? What for?" Dani sat down next to me.

  "I might be doing a weekly column on BenchReporter.com with Garret Sims."

  "Holy big time byline, little sister."

  "Yeah, so can you recommend someone?" I said with wide eyes.

  "You are so mean."

  We both cracked up again.

  "Honestly, who'd look out for you better than your big sister."