Addicted for Now (Addicted Series 2)

by Ritchie, Krista

  Sebastian types quickly and sends, Why do you want to know? He’s too curious, nosy and bored.

  I left her something at the gate. I wanted to know if she’s seen it yet. – Connor

  Sebastian snorts. “This is just sad.”

  I frown. “Why? He bought her something.” Presents are sweet, not sad.

  “He’s trying to win her back,” Sebastian says. “They had a fight, and he wants to see if his gift has cheered her up.”

  “Whatever they’re fighting about, she’ll forgive him over time,” I say with a nod.

  Sebastian tosses my phone back. “No she won’t.”

  “You can’t know that,” I say, defensive of a couple that I find destined and beautiful. They belong together the way books fit in a library. When I needed help, they both dedicated hours to researching sex addiction. Connor even escorted Rose to therapists, and they pretended to be Lo and me to find a perfect one. Who would do that, other than people who love me and people who love each other?

  He stands. “She’s listened to my advice since we were children. She’ll realize that I’m right about Connor, and she’ll toss him aside like she has every short-term fling.”

  I glare. “That’s her boyfriend.” Connor isn’t some fling. This is Rose’s first real relationship. Sebastian should want her to be happy.

  “And I don’t like him,” he says simply. Sebastian is egocentric, self-centered and self-absorbed. I suppose Connor has taken his place in Rose’s life. Sebastian no longer gets to attend all the lavish parties hosted by the Calloways and peers. She brings Connor instead.

  “Their relationship isn’t about what you want,” I say.

  Sebastian snubs his cigarette on a magazine. “Rose is my best friend. I’m just saving her from the heartbreak.” He lights another. But his words sound incredibly fake. I don’t believe him one bit.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I ask, crossing my arms. I want to warn Connor about Sebastian’s determination to break them up. Hell, I’m going to tell Rose what a horrible friend she has. And she would believe me. I’m her sister.

  “You can’t say a word,” he says matter-of-factly.

  “Yeah, I can.”

  He shakes his head, taps some ash right on the carpet. “No you can’t.” He nods to the stack of papers on my textbook. “Rose will not condone your new studying tactics. And Connor Cobalt would be even more displeased.” He sucks on the cigarette.

  Oh…shit.

  He’s trapped me so quickly. I slump back, winded as though he spun me through a washing machine.

  I can’t tell my sister that her friend is planning on ruining her life. I should do the right thing and come clean, not be an awful human being.

  But I need those tests.

  And Rose can take care of herself. She’s the strongest girl I know.

  But as Sebastian tosses that ballerina figurine in his hand, I wonder how she’s been blinded by someone like him for all these years. It can happen again.

  My only hope lies in Connor.

  He’ll have to foil Sebastian’s plans. He’ll have to prove to Rose that he’s the best man for her. I can’t warn him, but if I had to put money on a match between these two, I’d always bet on Connor Cobalt.

  { 8 }

  LOREN HALE

  After spending lunch with my brother, I end up in Rose Calloway’s Escalade. She conveniently showed up at the café. They acted all surprised about it—like she just happened to spot us, driving past Rocco’s Deli on her way home.

  But I figured out quickly that Ryke called her to cart me to our house while he went back to Philly for college. Like I have to be equipped with a twenty-four-seven babysitter, like I can’t be trusted in a cab or for a brief stroll down the sidewalk alone. I am the equivalent of a ninety-year-old lady needing a person as a crutch to cross the street.

  It’s ridiculous. And even if I do want to talk to Rose about my plan to earn some cash—I would never volunteer to be alone with the girl. She hates me. And Lily may not see it like that, but Rose and I have an understanding that we’re never going to be best friends. We withstand each other for Lily, and that has to be enough. Growing up, Lily would choose me—a boy—over Rose, her sister, and that type of jealousy accumulates over the years into something deep and raw. No apology will matter.

  And I get it. I would be resentful too. I’ve never wanted Rose to cut me slack, which must be why I poke the coals, stirring the flames and provoking her temper. I deserve every cold look, every biting comment. I deserve that fucking pain.

  I get it.

  “You look loads of fun today, Rose,” I say as she clenches the steering wheel, spine straight and eyes focused on the street. I should be a good person and ask what’s bothering her, but I can’t form the words. Caring—that’s Ryke’s thing.

  “Look in the mirror,” she says icily.

  I do. Just to humor her. And what stares back at me is a scowl that could shatter the reflection. Sharpened jaw and dark circles beneath my amber eyes, showing everyone how fucking tired I actually am.

  There’s no sleep for the wicked.

  “I grow more beautiful with age,” I deadpan. “Must be the alcohol.”

  “That’s not even a little amusing.”

  “Maybe because you lost your funny bone in your Gucci handbag.”

  She glares and then drives up to our gate.

  My phone buzzes, and I check the text with a palm over the screen so Rose doesn’t catch a glimpse.

  Your girlfriend is a whore. – Unknown

  I clench my teeth, my insides broiling. I want to find this bastard more than anything, but I’m running out of options. I can’t knock on the door of every enemy that I remember. There are too many. And I’ve already poked one burning coal that may have been simmering down. Since I threatened him, Aaron Wells could be reinvigorated to come after me even more—or he could be ready to bury his head in a hole. That’s the chance I took by visiting his house and assuming he was the texter. (He still could be for all I know.)

  But I’m not sure it’s wise to do the same thing to guys who haven’t spoken to me in years.

  Tracking the texts—that’s the best shot I have, but I hate that it’s out of my hands. I wonder how long it’ll be before I become completely unhinged.

  I’m about to slip the phone back in my pocket, but another text chimes.

  How many guys have fucked your girlfriend? Do you think the news will tell us the number? – Unknown

  “Everything okay?” Rose asks as the car slows down by the gate.

  “Yeah,” I lie, typing quickly.

  What do you want? I text back.

  If it’s money, I’ll find a way to pay him off. I can ask my father for a loan. I’ll double the amount that the tabloids are offering him. I just don’t want Lily’s secret to reach her family’s ears. Once her parents learn that she’s a sex addict—I’m not sure Lily will be able to handle that shame. I don’t think she’s ready for it.

  Satisfaction – Unknown.

  What the fuck does that mean? Of what? I text.

  My leg jostles as I wait for the reply. I realize that Rose has put her Escalade in park, waiting by the gate’s keypad. She rolls down the window but watches me closely before she types in the code.

  “Don’t,” I snap at her. I really don’t want to hear her ideas or thoughts on the matter. She probably has tons of opinions about how I should be responding to this guy, and I’m positive that she would handle this differently.

  “You shouldn’t provoke him.”

  “I wouldn’t.” Yeah, I kind of would. That’s what I do, even unintentionally.

  Her lips purse. “Please. I know you.”

  My phone vibrates on my leg.

  I want the satisfaction of hurting you the way you’ve hurt me. – Unknown

  The bottom of my stomach drops. This isn’t about money. This is payback for whatever I did. I’m not a saint, and I wouldn’t begin to defend myself. I just never w
anted to believe that Lily would be the one destroyed because of me. So I text, Don’t go after her. You can do whatever the hell you want to me. Just leave her out of this. And I hesitate before I press send.

  I’m sniveling. I’m giving this guy exactly what he needs. Ammunition to use against me. My father would never show him weakness like this. And what is the guy going to say in reply? Oh, I’m so sorry, Lo. I didn’t know she meant so much to you. No, he’s going to tell me to eat shit and watch my girlfriend burn.

  This is not the way to win a fight.

  So I delete that text and rewrite: I’ll find you, you motherfucker. Don’t ever doubt that. Send.

  I pocket my phone and meet Rose’s moody gaze.

  “What?” I say.

  “You did exactly what I told you not to do, didn’t you?”

  “Yep.”

  She mutters under her breath, shaking her head. And as she leans out of the window to type in the key code, her eyes fall to something down below. I’m glad for the distraction. The phone feels less heavy in my jeans. I begin to shelve the texts in the back of my mind. On a normal day, I’d just go grab a bottle of Macallan and call it a night.

  “Drop a bracelet?” I ask.

  Her lips tighten.

  “Worse than a bracelet? Damn, we’re at a DEFCON 1 then. Better prepare for nuclear war.”

  She actually looks impressed. “You know what DEFCON means?”

  “Yeah. I also know how to spell ‘duh’ and ‘hurry the fuck up.’” I don’t add that X-Men uses a version of the term for an imminent mutant crisis. How I learned the facts shouldn’t matter anyway.

  She shoots me the signature Rose Calloway glare—the one that looks like she’s two seconds from eating your soul. I glower back, but internally, I want to run the fuck away. I don’t know how Connor smiles when she looks at him like that. She’s not bluffing. I bet she eats the hearts of every womanizer for the hell of it.

  She flings her door open. “Wait here.”

  Yeah, where else am I going to go?

  She rummages out of sight for a minute, and curiosity gets the better of me. I unbuckle and stretch over the driver’s seat, peering down through the window.

  Rose squats on the ground next to purple hydrangeas, ivy spindling up the iron gate beside the robust flowers. White petals flutter by her side, but her back blocks whatever’s in front of her.

  “What are you doing?” I ask like she’s gone insane. I think there may be a screw loose in all of the Calloway girls. Well, maybe except Daisy. She seems pretty normal.

  “He can’t just send me things and expect to be forgiven,” she says in a huff. “It doesn’t work like that.” She grunts a little, and more petals burst.

  And then she stands and turns. She clutches the stems to what was a bouquet of white roses, but they look pathetic in her tight fist. Every petal has been ripped apart and fallen to the grass below.

  “You just mauled a plant,” I say flatly. There’s something disturbing about this, and yet, I can’t help but laugh.

  She glares harder. “Hold this.” She shoves a glass vase through the window.

  “You’re not going to shatter it?” I ask. “All in the name of love? For your broken heart?”

  “My heart isn’t broken.”

  “I forgot, you’re made of steel. The bionic, unfeeling woman. Connor must love cuddling with your nuts and bolts.” I slip back to my seat.

  She slams the car door, not even wasting another glare on me. She has yet to go for the worst look—the “I’m going to castrate you” one. I think she must be saving it for Connor. I am so glad I’m not him.

  “What’d he do?” I ask. “Misspell your favorite word? Beat you in a game of Scrabble?”

  She doesn’t say anything. She just retypes the code and puts the car in gear as the gate groans open. When the car rolls along the driveway towards the colonial house, it hits me.

  “You can’t be serious,” I say. “You’re still angry at him because he gave me some beer months ago, when I wasn’t even planning on being sober?” I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s relationship. It’s why Lily and I closed off to people—so no one else had to get hurt because of our mistakes.

  She pulls into the garage and turns off the ignition. “You wouldn’t understand.” She’s about to climb out of the car, but I lean over her and flick the lock, trapping her in the confines of the Escalade.

  Connor told me not to defend him. Right after they had that fight in our living room, he took me aside and said to stay out of it. But I can’t let him be attacked for this. He was just being a friend in a time when I wouldn’t let anyone in my life.

  “Give the guy a break,” I say. “He bends over backwards for you.”

  Rose stares at me for a long moment, biting her gums, it seems. And then she tries to unlock the car again, but I beat her to the button, flicking it faster than she does.

  “Loren,” she warns.

  “Just say it,” I retort. “Say what you mean.” She doesn’t think I can handle it, but I can.

  “You don’t understand,” she snaps. “Connor knew you were addicted, and he handed you beer. And you think that’s okay. You’re sitting there, telling me that it’s okay when it’s not. Do you see how wrong that is?”

  “Rose, he didn’t do anything wrong.” I grimace as soon as I hear myself. And I understand immediately why Connor told me not to say a word in his defense. Because I am making a great case why he shouldn’t have given me an ounce of liquor. I’m the alcoholic—the one who believed I could live a life drinking every minute of every fucking day. Vouching for Connor makes him look guilty. And maybe he is to some extent.

  “What he did was awful,” she says, “and I don’t care if it was just a means to be your friend.”

  I run a shaky hand through my hair, and when I glance back at her, she pales a little. “No, I’m fine,” I say. “Honestly, I’m not going to go race to a liquor store after this conversation, okay?”

  She nods, stiff and unmoving.

  “Rose,” I say. “I’m not trying to defend the guy, but…” This is hard for me to say. I even clear my throat, the words lodging for a second. “…I don’t know if I would be right here if he didn’t find a way to enter my life and Lily’s. He was the first nonjudgmental person that I could withstand to be around. He never looked at me like I was fucked up, even if he was probably thinking it. I liked having him as a friend. I still do.”

  I hand her the vase, and she no longer looks willing to chuck it at the wall.

  “He’s human,” I remind her. “He’s not perfect. No one is.”

  Her lips twitch. “Wise words from Loren Hale. You must have plagiarized from a fortune cookie.”

  I let out a weak laugh, actually smiling at that one. She’s good. I unlock the car. From the back garage door, we enter the house, walking into the granite kitchen.

  Lily must have heard the garage because she breezes through the archway with a zipped backpack. She sets it on a chair and waits patiently for me to approach her by the bar stool. She’s doing well, and then I notice the way she fiddles with her fingers, the way she presses her thighs tightly together.

  I close the space between us and slide my arms around her shoulders. She rests her cheek to my chest, but her body doesn’t sag in relief. No, it tightens in eagerness. Lily doesn’t do hugs. She fucks until she passes out.

  And I so badly want to fix her, but I can only help. The real mending—that has to be her job, her fight, her battle. I can’t win this one for her—just like she can’t defeat my demons.

  Shoes tap along the hardwood, and I expect to see Connor Cobalt cresting the archway. Instead, I’m met with Sebastian Ross.

  He’s still here after tutoring Lil? I internally groan. His self-confident swagger rubs me wrong. Always has. He wears a smug grin ninety-nine percent of the time, and he makes certain he knows what’s going on in everyone’s life. Sebastian and I have never seen eye to eye. Maybe because I say more mean
comments to Rose than nice ones. He thinks I’m an asshole.

  I am.

  And he has full right to dislike me. I’ll give him that.

  I guide Lily over to a small breakfast table and sit on the chair, bringing her on my lap. She opens her mouth, probably about to ask when we’re going to have sex, but she shuts her lips and blushes.

  Before rehab, this is when I’d tease her. Run my hand down her thigh and watch her breath catch. It takes every ounce of strength to shake my head. Her eyes widen in slight horror, but I press a kiss to her temple.

  I want to distract her from sex, so I ask, “Anything good on TV?”

  “I taped Avengers Assemble while you were in rehab,” she says softly. “It’s pretty good, but they make Captain America look kinda weak.”

  I smile. “Spoiler alert?”

  “No, he wimps out in the first episode.” She seems to relax, which makes me relax.

  “How was the meeting?” Sebastian asks Rose, a lit cigarette burning between two fingers.

  “The meeting was fine,” she says. “The menswear collection just shipped, so everyone was excited.” When she turns to him, she spots the cigarette between his fingers, her eyes narrowing. With Connor’s vase still clenched in her hand, she plucks the cigarette from Sebastian. “Outside only.” She snuffs it in the sink and makes no other comment about it.

  He gets away with more shit than any other guy in Rose’s life.

  Lily resituates herself on my lap, straddling me on the chair all of a sudden. Fuck.

  It’s the middle of the day. We shouldn’t have sex. It’s not considered the norm. I remind myself of all the reasons why this can’t happen. Not to mention Rose and Sebastian are halfway across the kitchen from us.

  “How’s tutoring going?” Rose turns to Lily at this. She’s trying to delay what I think is the inevitable—my cock in Lily, her body and mind appeased, coming with a blissful high.

  Lily points to her chest, flushed. “Oh, me?”

  Rose gives her a look—one that tells her to relocate her common sense. Lily tucks her hair behind her ear and sits up a little from my chest. Progress, yes. But I can’t move my hands from her thighs. I’m afraid she’ll freak out by the lack of touch.