The Revolutionaries Try Again

by Mauro Javier Cardenas

  Eva doesn’t come back on Friday or the next morning and by nightfall Rolando gives up his waiting for her but instead of huffing out without leaving her a note or without making her bed he leaves her a heartfelt note and straightens her bed — no I didn’t — I don’t want to go on without you Eva — okay I did so what? — your expectations of me are so tiresome leave me alone — sometimes I feel like I don’t want anything but you Eva — arriving at home where he’s surprised to see his father because he’d been expecting to be alone as he’d been alone for the last twenty four hours — What’s wrong Rolando? — Nothing — No radio tonight? — Don’t think so — You should let Eva host it sometimes so you can rest — I don’t need to rest — I don’t either that’s why I have hemorrhoids ha ha — Come on Dad — What? — Stop saying hemorrhoids I hate that word — Fine but don’t sit on my hemorrhoid cushion — Dad! — Eva has the best radio voice no? — A voice that could sell eggs to the chickens yes — What does that mean? — what does what mean? — Never mind — She sounds like Eydie Gormé — No she doesn’t she sounds like Mercedes Sosa — Only when she’s mad at you because when I talked to her yesterday she definitely sounded like — You talked to her yesterday? — Last night yes said she was earning extra money for your radio show by taping posters for a nightclub — And? — And that she had to wake up early today to help someone install a phone booth what’s the matter Rolando? — She didn’t come home last night — How do you know? — Don’t want to get into that right now — I tell my son what his woman tells me but he can’t tell his father what his — Stop that Dad — You think I’m fond of you not talking to me about anything? — to which Rolando doesn’t answer — very funny moron — You want me to call her? — I can call her myself Dad but since you’re so good at dialing that phone — That phone dials itself ha ha — Why did you call the radio show Dad? — Don’t want to get into that right now — Fine — his father dialing Eva’s number and sharing the earpiece with Rolando so they can both hear the phone ringing — No answer? — That’s strange her answering machine isn’t picking up — did Rolando turn off her answering machine by mistake when he was listening to her messages? — Something must have happened — Nothing Dad she probably just — Something did happen — Don’t be melodramatic Dad — You don’t know what it is to be a father Rolando — A father’s intuition? — That’s right — to which Rolando doesn’t answer by saying Eva’s not your daughter Dad your daughter’s at a terrible place far away from here — What do you propose we do? — Look for her what else? — She could be anywhere — The phone booth she was going to help someone with a — I know who that is — Let’s go.

  His father’s driving the pickup truck at a speed that’s even more reckless than his father’s usual speed — a speed that has always baffled Rolando because in everything else his father is so cautious — so deferential to everyone else — here we go again — shut up — and yet Rolando doesn’t say slow down Dad — stop honking at the omnibuses Dad — don’t yell at that taxi that cut you off — anda que te parió un burro — to remain silent is to give the impression that one has no opinions — Rolando has no opinions he just wants to rest his head against the window and sleep and in his sleep dream of nothing at all — the bumper cars Mama — what if something did happen to Eva? — rolling down the window and taking in the wind and the crowds of people who are still celebrating El Loco’s victory despite the news reports that his sumptuous inauguration gala at the presidential palace was a disaster thousands of uninvited people trying to get in — What ever did I do to you Rolando? — What? — What ever did I do to you? — Nothing Dad — Did I ever hit you? — No Dad — Did I ever hey stay in your lane ratface did you see that bus driver look at him he looks like a rat I swear what was I saying? — Nothing Dad — Oh did I ever hit you? — You asked me that already — Did I ever raise my voice? — Yes — Okay but not that often right? — Not that often slow down Dad — Not that often’s good right? — Why are you — why is his father asking him all these questions? — can his father intuit what Rolando would reply to him? — does his father feel the need to punish himself by hearing his son say to him you should’ve raised your voice to forbid my sister from leaving? — you should’ve barred the door so she couldn’t come out? — you should’ve raised your voice when Doña Esteros shat on us because of a pendant I know for a fact her son swiped from her and then used it to barter with his favorite prostitute because in our last spiritual retreat before graduating from San Javier — in our last week of enforced silence in that retreat house in Ambato — on the last day of the retreat when there was a round table and everyone shared what they had discovered within themselves during their week of complete silence — Julio Esteros confessed that one time when he was fifteen his father cut off his allowance so he swiped his mother’s pendant and the maid — that’s what he called Alma — the maid — had been blamed for the missing pendant but he hadn’t said anything about it and poor Julio sobbed in front of us — not knowing that the maid was my sister — not knowing that I knew he had forgotten to mention that he had also tried to rape that same maid — and yet he was right not to mention it no? — because if he had mentioned it who would have felt bad about that? — who among all those schoolboys would have felt bad about my sister? — and you know what I said when it was my turn at the spiritual round table? — nothing Father — nothing at all — god didn’t speak to me that week — the holy ghost didn’t course through me that week or the week after — and unfortunately Julio’s snot and tears might have been coursing down his face on his day of spiritual reckoning but because he was still twice my size and had a red belt in tae kwon do I found a way to pretend he hadn’t said what he said so that I wouldn’t have to acknowledge that I couldn’t topple him — you think the acts of vandalism you’re planning are going to help anyone here? — my lame sabotage of Julio’s mansion helped me feel better for about five minutes — You’ve always voted for León Martín Cordero — I would never vote for a prepotente like that Rolando — I’ve heard you tell the Jesuits at San Javier that you’ve always — That’s what the Jesuits want to hear that’s what I tell them — Turn left by the tire place Dad — I miss Alma too Rolando — Second right at Roldós Plaza — Every day I miss her too.

  Good evening do you — Hello and welcome to Rosie’s Phone Booths where every — Remember me? — No but next time I hey yes you’re Eva’s downer — Is that what she — No she told me you were constipated and — He’s been constipated since he was — Stop it Dad — Forgive him he’s — We’re looking for Eva and thought you — She told me she was coming to help me today but didn’t and I — This morning she didn’t? — Not all day no — She didn’t come home last night and — You two live together? — No we — He doesn’t want to get into that — Aha — I’m his father by the way — I figured that — I figured that you figured but I wanted an excuse to hold your hand — Dad! — Your son’s a prude eh? — Look Eva’s missing and — We think Eva’s missing and we thought you might — She told me she was going to distribute flyers on Victor Emilio Estrada last — Posters she was going to — Right posters do you want to call someone? — Who? — Someone who might know someone? — Father Ignacio knows some people no? — Leopoldo at the mayor’s office might be able to — Let’s search for her before we go around calling people — Along Victor Emilio let’s go.

  His father’s driving them down the hills of Mapasingue obviously trying to calm Rolando by asking him how did you two meet? — to which Rolando doesn’t answer — You and Eva was it at the university? — At a protest? — Did you kick her in the shins at a soccer match? — to which Rolando does answer by saying Eva doesn’t wear shin guards Dad — Does she raise her socks all the way or bunch them at the bottom? — Bunches them — aha — Says she wants the other team to see her bruises so that they’ll know she doesn’t care about bruising them or them bruising her — That makes sense — It’s redundant because she’s always yelling at the other team so they know not to m
ess with her — Did her yelling stop you from messing with her? — Of course not — Do they red card her often? — No but she plays her best when someone on our team has been red carded and we’re down to ten — The other day Eva told me — How often do you guys talk? — Every day I think — Amazing — What’s so amazing you think your father is not good at listening? — What? — You think your father is not good at listening? — What? — Very funny — Sorry — The other day she called me and said she was writing a love letter to the one boyfriend who had broken up with her — What? — From when she was fourteen relax — Ah — She wasn’t going to send it she said she just wanted to write him a love letter isn’t that amazing? — I guess — He broke up with her over the phone she said and she was so nervous while he was breaking up with her that she fidgeted with the gum she had taken out of her mouth and then fidgeted with the gum wrapper she had taken out of her pocket — And? — And when it was over she placed the green gum inside the gum wrapper and saved it inside a shoe box as a memento — That doesn’t make any sense — Of course it does — I would have thrown that gum in the trash — Oh — I would have flung it far away from here so no one would ever have to see it again — You okay Rolando? — Yes fine I’m just — Take my handkerchief — unfolding his father’s handkerchief and inhaling the cologne his father dabbed on it in the morning like he has done every morning since he can remember pressing his father’s handkerchief onto whatever’s happening to his — nothing leave me alone.